u/DescriptionEntire305

NOT seeking ADVICE.
Only similar people, so I can selfishly say phewww, okay/

I have to be all of these things as it’s all I know. Mom of twins in prek, wife, home owner, all the degrees; “fancy” biz executive career for decades. With the diagnosis, adding it up, I’m almost through processing how every thing makes sense. Validated by others. Was never stupid. In fact, in another world (or on paper), I have seen others explicitly say (before that chat GPT), “you wrote this in two hours!?!”

I read it and it’s like I don’t even remember it.
Words come out and I can’t put them together how I want it to sound. I freeze now. Practicing pausing and silence at work rather than over share, bring in context not relevant.

Why is this so hard? I’m at the stage of implementing strategies that work opposite of how I see others without ADHD to make my brain adapt to the world as it is; almost as if surrendering (not giving up). Ultimately my hope is this helps me in personal growth, discipline, rather than “why can’t I do this?”

Quick example -
Putting clothes away in girls’ room and organizing those - bathing suits - shoes etc all for the week. I freeze. Look at things. Oh, that color isn’t adhesive with those short patterns. The underwear. The suits. The clothes that no longer fit, and planning for the ones for kindergarten (overthinking). Shoves all in the drawers with overwhelm.

Hey everyone.
These are some odd quirks I’ve always had, that now makes sense when I’m medicated (adult female AUDHD). Can anyone relate that on these:
\-Hyperfocus on random purchases til you make your self sick
(For example; there’s no reason to paint our walls but I researched the colors; then textures; then how they’re applied and tools needed etc. hurts my relationships with kids and husband)
\-one day buying everything on sale or looking at random stores for clearance to find something with novelty
\-RETURNING to store feeling overwhelmed and ashamed
\-Cycle
\-Not shopping for self; but for home improvements, organization, my girls wardrobe, etc)

Then.. I can be super FRUGAL I can diy stuff at home and make things work and get a good feeling off of saving. All or nothing. Any personal advice???

TLDR 😂 obsessive impulsive shopping then returning and ashamed advice

Warning: tried to shorten as much as possible. Long read ‼️

I had been in AA sober from alcohol and drugs since July 2021. Last year May 2025 I got prescribed adderall and it wasn’t my “drug of choice” but i definitely relapsed by running out early, buying pills off the street lasting like 6 months.

Didn’t tell my AA people. Eventually broke down to them this past February 2026 my sponsor and friends when they came over to help me move..that I asked them to be there in fear of finding more pills. They were loving and accepting. One cried bc she knew I wasn’t myself and thought I was on drugs.

Fast forward I switch to NA bc my ego set in, embarrassed to change date in AA 🙄 and I have friends in that program bc my husband has been in NA for 18 years. Fired from work February. Risk of foreclosure on our house as the breadwinner not finding a job (it’s been 4 months; I just got hired finally). My higher power had me do something I never wanted to…. A PHP and IOP for womens trauma mental health and addiction. Best thing that ever happened to me. Was honest about my use in the past (still prescribed adderall!!! And my sponsor was aware) and wanted a change.

Every week my sponsor would ask where I’m at in regards to meds. Mental health, AdUhd depression etc we trialed different medications…it took a month of waiting and STRATERRA WAS THE BEST FOR ME EVER. I was told in the program by my psych and therapist maybe take a step back from NA as this was an intense program with every day assignments of deep emotional work. The NA sponsor adamant I do 90 in 90 and also step one. I tried to explain I just wanted temporary while I’m doing this…

I finished step one over 3.5 months thoroughly. I had told her on the phone few times when can we get together to go over step one? And she was very busy with her little one. I inquired again via text. Eventually I went over it with another friend in the program one addict to another.

I graduate IOP tomorrow and it was the best dbt program I’ve ever done and I always knew I needed something more than drug and alcohol recovery. Proud of myself.

I’ve been missing my “home group” that my sponsor legit assigned me… completely exhausted from different meds, deep trauma, my prek twins refusing to go to the meetings. I would drag them out and bring them or myself to at least 3 in person a week (the rest virtual) on the weekends and one day off of IOP. I’ve learned to say no when I’m already over stimulated and I don’t want to just go to a meeting to say I went to one to appease my sponsor. So now I’m on no meds except straterra and finally at peace with myself. Tomorrow morning is my graduation from the program and i had to finish my assignments.

Sponsor texted me “are you going to your home group?” I said “not sure, depends if I get this done.” She said recovery comes first. I get it, I really do. But this mental health shit is no joke, I was close to exiting. She doesn’t get the mental health - I mention panic attacks and overstimulation and she has no experience with these, saying this program isn’t about your mental health nor a diagnosis (I read the literature…I know).

She texted me this tonight and here with my responses. I don’t feel reactive from practicing skills in IOP and knowing I’ve been doing the right thing. How could I have approached these texts in a better way? Where am I in the wrong I need accountability for?

Anyone else on Strattera? It’s inexplicably wonderful. My entire life was full of brain noise, impulse, emotions everywhere.
Is this drug too good to be true along with the DBT I’ve been doing for years? It’s scary to think I could feel this calm, present.