u/Designer-Doctor-5845

Trigger post dont read if sensitive to depression or self harm. Edit; i am not suicidal atm but know my depression will come back.

I dont know how to ask this but it has been on my mind alot..... i have had depression since i was probably 12 on and off. I am in my late 30s now. Anyway, for probably the past 2 years i feel like i dont wanna live till old age. Im scared to live with depression all my life.

I dont have much family, my parents were alcoholics and abusers. Not so many friends and i dont wanna go back to my career anymore.... also, if i die i wanna die with zero and not leave any inheritance to family since i dont have a partner or other family myself.

i have savings to maybe last me 10-15 years of travel depending where i go, maybe more depending on inflation. I dont know what to do with myself but i have always enjoyed traveling... and i thought why not just travel till i run out of money and than die...? I know this sounds crazy to a lot of people but have you ever met someone like that? Maybe terminally ill? Not sure this is the right group! Also yes, i am in therapy but talking doesnt help me really

For most of my adult life I feel like I am not anchored anywhere and like I dont belong. It is like no one truly knows the real me even if I try to connect.

I feel like other people just never have experienced the level of sadness and trauma so they cant relate. They might understand me intelectually but not the lived experience.. I traveled a lot in my 20s as a way of escaping (subconciously) and that also made my life more scattered around places. My parents and sibling dont understand - they arent in touch with their emotions or also just in denial. I feel so separate in this world.

I wonder if this is belonging, loneliness or just the result of emotional neglect?

Thanks (ps female, in my mid30s) Edit; allcoholic father and a submissive helpless mother. Lots of moving in childhood & immigrantion

As in the title.... I need a change.

(Ps; Currently in Switzerland and wanna get out asap)

What are organisations to look at that make use for a good cause? I was thinking disadvantaged children or animals.

I am based in Switzerland and have seen "the hype" about those two shoes online and wanted to buy one, preferably superblast 3. I have a nimbus and noosa tri already.

It seems so hard to find those shoes here. On Zalando I found the superblast 3 for 260chf / 340usd. That's crazy?! Same on the asics site directly. Why are these shoes so expensive here and anyone found a better deal somewhere? I went to the specialty running store here and they only had male sizes, I know it is unisex but I am female and need smaller size. The shoe there was 350usd.

I usually order from runningexpert from Denmark but they dont have those 2 models. Same with runningwarehouse.eu

Suggestions on where to get them?! Megablast I wasnt even able to find..

I recently got back into running. I started with 5km in about 40min and now at 8km in about one hour. After my runs I feel so tired, I have to nap and will pass out into full deep sleep for an hour. Later at night I will also sleep full 8 hours. I am female, 39, normal weight and fit. My calfs have also started to be super stiff. I read all the advice and most people suggest carbs during runs but is that necessary for such "short" distances?

I run outside on gravel and forest mostly, flat. My shoes are fine (asics nimbus). Any other advice? Maybe it is also just getting older. I never felt this wiped out after running in my 20s :)

Thanks

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Hi all

I am looking to get back into road biking. I used to have a DeRosa Planet which was a very generous gift by my uncle who unfortunately isnt around anymore. Anyway, it was stolen at some point and now I am looking at getting back into it. I live in Switzerland and will mostly be going flat but some hills but nothing crazy. I am female, 163.5cm, 62kg (5'4 / 135lbs). I am going to try the bike but I just wanted to ask, do you think this is a good deal for 1800USD? New Price was approx 7k.

My other option was to buy a new Canyon Endurance or Ultimate but those would be more expensive and I would have to deal with assembling etc. So I though I might give this a try and see if I get back into having fun cycling.

It is a DeRosa Idol from 2019, it hasn't been used that much I was told. The lady who has it now is 3cm shorter but for size I will have to go and try it.

Thanks for any advice!

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