u/Difficult_Brief7046

Not sure if this is the right place to put this but I’ve been close to having sex but not the actual PIV. I’m wondering if it’s supposed to feel magical or just an overwhelming great sensation feeling or will it just be meh 🫤 and I know women‘s bodies especially down there tend to change on arousal level but when I fingered my girlfriend it kinda felt off, like nothing I expected. it wasn’t really warm, not as tight and not really wet like I though but she said she liked the pressure from it. I want to try to prepare myself so I won’t be as disappointed as I think I will but I might surprise myself. I want to try abstaining from porn and masturbation for two months before it happens and my girlfriend agrees because she doesn’t want me to not like it or not moan and all of that other stuff. So far when we’ve given each other oral sex she’s had sever orgasms and I haven’t and at first I wasn’t sure if she was telling the truth until I had scratch marks and and my hair pulled and “it” all over my face, neck, and back. I just hope it’s a good experience for her at least because she deserves that but I know the first time won’t be ideal.

hey I’m new to this group and I guess I’m trying again to quit porn. to make a long story short I’ve been addicted for years and it makes sexual intimacy lack luster and sometimes with masturbating in front of my partner I know I won’t be able to finish so I have to think about women I lust after or porn. oral sex doesn’t feel good, hand jobs don't feel good, now even masturbation with my partner present doesn’t feel good. orgasms are weak for the most part unless I deeply indulge in porn and I think she can notice that. it makes me worried how real sex will be and she even told me she doesn’t want to do it until she knows it will feel good for me. I saw her last night and she usually shaves and she could tell I wasn’t into how it looked, not saying it was unattractive but it was different and I wasn’t turned off by it but I did few her area down there like that kinda ugly which is something I will keep to myself. she wants me to go 4 weeks without masturbation to see if I can get feeling back and I just hope I can at least go two days. hopefully I can do the work need so I can better for myself, my partner, and most importantly God.

so recently my girlfriend started to let me see her without her shaving down there and I honestly always thought I would be into it but after I got to looking at it in the light it didn’t look the best but I’m not saying it turned me off, it just looked different from what I’m used to her looking like. it was hair all over and she feels like I wasn’t really into it which isn’t really true because I was still erect but I want to know if other men or even women feel the same way. I do know she prefers to shave and I think now I prefer her like that as well but when I asked her about me shaving she said no and to keep my hair.

so for some reason my phon was acting up so bad I couldn’t look anything up for a few days so I wasn’t able to watch any porn. last night I spent hours trying to figure out how to find some until I gave up. I couldn’t even get hard like I was to these pictures and videos of my girlfriend so that kinda messed up my mood. so far lately I’ve been consuming so much it’s like how when I first started. I thought it would get better but it’s not. I really don’t know how I can quit because I just end up going back to it anyway. Being busy doesn’t help, blocking everything doesn’t help, having a girlfriend doesn’t help, the gym doesn’t really help. I’m kinda lost and I’m not sure what to do or where to go from this. It gets harder to deny these feelings and cravings but I need to because I won’t get better. I want to go at least three weeks without porn or masturbation but I don’t have enough faith in me to believe that I can because I’ve let myself down time and time again. for the ones here who’ve quit or are actively trying does willpower work? what should I do?

this can be for men and woman to answer. is there only a few positions you can do? do you get tired quickly? do you get turned off by looking at yourself? does having sex being fat effect the way things feel and can loosing weight make it better?

I usually see people here who say if you’re not packing then there’s oral sex but how can that be enough for a woman is what I’m trying to understand.

I want to be abele to not rely on porn for sexual satisfaction but I’m not sure how to do it when I’m able to live through the videos I watch. I wasted like two hours watching it and now that I’m in my right mind I really do want to try to quit and not rely on it when I’m in situations with my girlfriend of by myself. If I ever get in the mood I go watch porn, a few times while my girlfriend watched me I was thinking about porn and a few while we were together. I know she suspects that I’m probably watching it but I want to be my best version for her and I don’t want to end up like some peoples stories I’ve seen.

is it always porn? is it the experiences people go through? to the men on here who deal with that how do you let it go and what made you feel less then since you’re packing less? for me I know it’s from different people, myself, and porn that made me self conscious on my penis size. I’m fine how it looks erect but I personally with while flaccid it was longer and wider. Even if size doesn’t matter we all know bigger ones look the most attractive.

I had a relapse today but I don’t feel guilty about it. I stopped feeling bad about it for a while now. my girlfriend got up because she knows sometimes when she goes to sleep on the phone with me that I go and masturbate. we got on the topic because she said she does it but I guess it was a problem because she thinks I might be watching something else, which isn’t a lie, and because I don’t ask her to watch or help out but when I present her with the same question she says it’s different because I have work in the morning.

a lot more recently my orgasms have been very weak and I don’t get much satisfaction from it so I’m wondering what I can do in my end to help myself out?

so last night before I went to bed I was on Instagram and saw this girl on there who I found really attractive so I started to get aroused and I was on ft with my girlfriend. she likes to watch me sometimes so while that happened I started thinking about the girl I seen and then I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend and just out of nowhere that arousal was gone so I stoped masturbating really quickly and fit soft fast and she wondered what happened. I’m not too sure what stopped me but does anyone know here?

ok so girlfriend just turned 18 and had a get together at her house so I didn’t bother her from around 3:30-9:30. Around 9:40 ish I checked in to see how she was and she said she was gonna go to her friends bo house to drink. Now at first I told her to be mindful and be careful so I asked did she watch him pour her drink and she says “No 🫢” so then I tell her just to make sure she watches someone when they pour you a drink. I tell her to just text me when shes ready at home but she insists I text her so I tell her if you need to call me just in case. after that she would keep texting me telling me stuff like “oh I’m real buzzed up, I want sum to eat, her boyfriends dad is acting weird, etc. I asked her how much she drank and it kept changing until we got on the phone when she said 3 shots of vodka and 2 margaritas. Before we call she said her legs feel like jelly and she can barely walk and after a few minutes she asked to call me so I dI’d. All I hear is loud music and her tryna talk but she clearly sounds tipsy and then her friend got on the phone talking about us going out on a three way date or something like that. I was telling my momma and sister about this since they can over hear and to them it seemed like she wanted me to be overwhelmed and tell her to please get home and all that other stuff like some of our family members have, like basically showing off I’m doing something and I want to get a reaction out of you. After a while I told her to just call me back. of course what my family was saying was true about her friend because one, her friend was trying to stay way longer then she wanted and she barely got her to take her home and 2, she said her friends boyfriend and father got really drunk and the boyfriend was being to passive aggressive towards her friend. Her other friend left before all of this could happen and now she’s saying her head hurts and I hit my head on the fridgerator and that I was about slip and slide in the shower. I’m not sure if I’m being too judgmental because I mean I don’t care if she drinks because that’s her life but to us it seemed she just wanted to get a reaction. On the phone she said she felt I was annoyed and didn’t want to stay on the phone and that maybe I was doing too much but then she later said she’s sorry if she did. Are a lot of women or men like this? could I be overly dramatic about it?

tl;dr gf seems to act manipulative and want me to be worried but doesn’t think she is.

ok so girlfriend just turned 18 and had a get together at her house so I didn’t bother her from around 3:30-9:30. Around 9:40 ish I checked in to see how she was and she said she was gonna go to her friends bo house to drink. Now at first I told her to be mindful and be careful so I asked did she watch him pour her drink and she says “No 🫢” so then I tell her just to make sure she watches someone when they pour you a drink. I tell her to just text me when shes ready at home but she insists I text her so I tell her if you need to call me just in case. after that she would keep texting me telling me stuff like “oh I’m real buzzed up, I want sum to eat, her boyfriends dad is acting weird, etc. I asked her how much she drank and it kept changing until we got on the phone when she said 3 shots of vodka and 2 margaritas. Before we call she said her legs feel like jelly and she can barely walk and after a few minutes she asked to call me so I dI’d. All I hear is loud music and her tryna talk but she clearly sounds tipsy and then her friend got on the phone talking about us going out on a three way date or something like that. I was telling my momma and sister about this since they can over hear and to them it seemed like she wanted me to be overwhelmed and tell her to please get home and all that other stuff like some of our family members have, like basically showing off I’m doing something and I want to get a reaction out of you. After a while I told her to just call me back. of course what my family was saying was true about her friend because one, her friend was trying to stay way longer then she wanted and she barely got her to take her home and 2, she said her friends boyfriend and father got really drunk and the boyfriend was being to passive aggressive towards her friend. Her other friend left before all of this could happen and now she’s saying her head hurts and I hit my head on the fridgerator and that I was about slip and slide in the shower. I’m not sure if I’m being too judgmental because I mean I don’t care if she drinks because that’s her life but to us it seemed she just wanted to get a reaction. On the phone she said she felt I was annoyed and didn’t want to stay on the phone and that maybe I was doing too much but then she later said she’s sorry if she did. Are a lot of women or men like this? could I be overly dramatic about it?

So I’m 19 and been addicted since 11 and just to make a long story short I’m starting to loose interest in wanting to have sex with my girlfriend and I think it’s because of porn. I feel like it won’t meet up to my expectations and when we both do oral on each other it does nothing for me. I never finished from it and I never finished from a handjob either. even when I took control I could never get there until one time I had to think about porn. I’ve been starting to think about having sex with different girls but in my head I don’t even look the same. if I think about I make my penis size bigger, I look skinnier, I’m taller, it’s almost like I try to make myself look like a porn star and I rarely think about how it is realistically because I know it’s not what I would want to see. I guess I don’t want sex with us to be as bad as I think it will be and from what I’ve seen friends, and other dude say about it.

so my girlfriend out of the blue asked me to talk/text her through it until she was done and not saying it’s weird but I guess I’m not used to doing it. How do any of y’all feel about that if you’ve done it?

this is just a question I had because my girlfriend when we first started doing oral sex wanted to swallow it but I didn’t want that at first because I thought it wouldn’t feel good to me, well which now I kinda see I might’ve been right. she was adamant that she does not want it on her face or just spilling everywhere and I respected her decision on that. out of all of the months we’ve been doing it and after multiple times I was able to finish once she stopped giving me head after about a few minutes of going at it myself. she went back to swallow it but it didn’t feel good at all and honestly I didn’t know I finished until she asked me how it was. I then had try it again which then it was the same result. I’ve only finished in two sessions and I guess I’m not a fan of the swallowing part but she really wants it and she gets upset when it doesn’t happen. I also see a lot of women here who seem to always swallow but what’s the enjoyment you receive from that?

so as embarrassing as it is I did make a post a few days, maybe close to a week ago about me eating 🍑 and I still don’t know why I wanted to do it and why I liked it at first but I felt so bad afterwards. the second time my girlfriend asked me if I’d liked to do it again and even though she gets nothing from it she said she likes to be dominant and that makes her feel that way, and that she liked that I liked it. I feel weird that I do like it but one thing I never understood was men who like butt stuff done to them, specially men who aren’t gay. what is it that you like about that and what made you try that out? definitely not something I would do because that’s just a no but I’m curious about other peoples experiences. My girlfriend made multiple jokes about going back there to the point I think she wants to but she eventually denies it.

so me and my girlfriend will probably have our first time sometime next week and we were kinda having one of those ”steamy” conversation. I guess I went to far to where she responded with “you're scaring me” and “you don’t wanna make love to me 🥲” it kinda killed the mood for me but I guess I never knew the real meaning and difference between the two.

so theres a possibility me and my girlfriend might have sex around her birthday next week. we had a few conversations about it and she was just worried if I wouldn’t like it because of the times we had oral sex and I wouldn’t moan or finish from her. I know a lot of people says it’s better but I guess I don’t to have my hopes up for it if it’s gonna be just ok. if it happens I gotta find the right condoms too which I’ll probably look up or ask here. I know that it won’t be perfect the first time but one thing I’ve learned from the post and comments here is that being commutative helps and practice helps as well.

well I tried talking to my girl about it and she got real upset and now I’m not sure if she will even try to go down on me again. Now I’m really not gonna be able to feel anything. Maybe she’s just upset and it’ll pass but she basically knows now that she can’t satisfy me in her words and that I’ve should’ve told her how I like it but I’m not even sure what I like. I know she can’t go faster, I know she can’t go harder, and I know she can’t suck snd stroke at the same time so I just never bothered to ask her because i want her to be comfortable. To me she kinda overreacted because I wasn’t saying that it’s exactly what I want done because a few times before she would go harder around and tip snd it would hurt. I understand how she feels because she thinks she’s supposed to do all these things for me that I do for her and it’s been months and nothing happens on my end. It was a nice conversation until she started saying how soon I’ll just be getting off by myself because she doesn’t do it for me.