u/Distinct_Taste_1459

I 22f today did something and I think I've invited a lifelong misery for myself.

So my brother who's 20 have an affair with a girl in his university and he now wants to marry her, my parents learned about it and rest of the stuff is too long. So my parents themselves didn't have a good marriage, fights, scandals and shouting, yelling I've seen my whole life.

Today out of nowhere my mum who's losing her mind because of my brother started an argument with my father that he did this and that to me, he's irresponsible and he never cared for children and that children who don't have father do such things( what my brother did) he started shouting too and it started a new fight, so I came out i was sleeping before this. I just went to kitchen took my food and started eating and he asked me is she not crazy and I said " just stop this " and he was staring dead into my eyes and said my mum she's teaching her all this to stand up against me. He was calling me badtameez and I said " mene koi badtameezi nhi ki". Meanwhile my granny was telling me to stop already.

Anyhow fast forward to my parent's fight, my mum was saying him to divorce her and that she's done with her and he said yeah go go already who's stopping you and take whoever you want to with you too, since they'll stand against me one day if not today. He said me you go with her too you have so much empathy for her I said I won't go anywhere he said no you will. I said you wanna throw me out do it, I won't go to someone else's house and I have no empathy for her and you. You two are just shameful and embarrassing to me, you two should have never gotten married, since my childhood this is all I've seen and the girls I grew up with have their own children now but you two are still there. He shut up then. But my brother had come by that time too( not the one who has a girlfriend the other he's 23) and he was telling them to behave themselves but he was calm unlike me and I told him what are you doing? They're 15 they're behaving their age. You're the old one you should tolerate them

Anyhow, I've been crying for 3 hours. I got myself into something I should have never. They idiots won't care about me. They'll just use this against me.I should have kept silence.

I didn't wanna reach out to anyone so I talked it out here.

Hi guys do you guys know where can I find organic coconut oil?

Hi guys, do you know where can I find organic coconut oil in Pakistan?

So guys what do you think about medora lipsticks? The matte ones.

I'm not too much into makeup, I've used flormar and eveline lipsticks and fixers. I've used other brands too.

So I've been seeing medora shades on Instagram and the shades are sooooo pretty bruh. I even bought three of them, coffee, peach silk and fiesta and I love them too but my mum says they look cheap??! But I don't see that or maybe I'm too blinded by their shades because I genuinely love medora shades.

What are your guys experience with medora lipsticks?

So I'm 22f and I don't generally say such things here but I don't know why I wanted to say this today I'm sooooooo done. Also there are some weird thoughts that come to my mind because of this insecurity of mine I'll tell them.

So I wanted to be transparent because I just wanna talk about it finally because I don't talk about it. I love my face, like absolutely love my face. I love my body shape like it's not kind of making peace with myself but I genuinely admire these things. BUT my skin color is medium, can I explain you in words how deeply it has affected my life? No. I've been like crazy insecure not just that I have a grief in me for my skin color. Now there are so many weird things that go in my mind. Like just like I said earlier I love my face and my body shape, that's from my father. My skin color is from my mother. Idk but that kinda makes me resent her, ik that's so disturbing and cruel of me but that's how deeply this thing has affected me and no I don't talk about it, I'm way too dignified to play victim like this. This is my first ever time letting it out after years! When I'm just so done.

I look ar mirror and think that face card is lethal bruh. I swear my father have premium genes, I got his eyes, his bone structure, I got my Nani's nose, though it's a bit round but that looks good. I got a pear shaped body from my father too(of course he's a man so he's not peared shape but his mother and sisters are and I am too) and my father is fair and my mother is tan or I would say brown and I landed right between both of them, not too dark not too light perfectly medium. I'm the kind of skin that glows and looks light with some care and stuff but can lose the glow too without care.

Looking at those Instagram models and so many clothes that I don't just buy even though I can buy them I don't because I know I'm darker for them. It's like my skin color has theft color from my life.

And so many other things like my mum bought me a white dress for this upcoming Eid Soo when the dress arrive and I wore it, so she knows I don't wear white color (even though I love it) she still bought it and I wore it and back then i was looking good because no university and now because I was going to university for weeks and now I'm looking dull and now I don't wanna wear that anymore. This is what I hate why can I not just fu**ing exist without these dumbass inhibitor.

So yeah I feel ashamed and vulnerable accepting this but I hate this all.