u/Dollfaceheiressluxx

I’ve been bullied my whole life in nursery, primary, secondary, and college. Non stop. Everyday. I never had a break for years.

My first experience with bullying started in nursery; I would have girls pulling my hair and eyelashes, getting pencils stabbed into me, and being physically attacked by girls. No girls wanted to be my friend.

I’ve been called names by guys and girls. Boys all my school life have always disrespected me, sexually harassed me, called me names, and insulted me.

In secondary school, hundreds of guys in my year bullied me, and every single person in my year knew my name without me telling them. Hundreds of girls in my year bullied me too.

In secondary school, most girls who didn’t know me would talk badly about me and make fun of me. This one girl in particular would get close to me, and one day she ripped my letter in front of the whole class, and everyone laughed, which got me into trouble with the teacher because the teacher thought mind you, every single lesson i had had different students, so imagine how many different people bullied me.

In secondary school, guys would chuck stuff at me, say cruel things to me, talk about me to other guys, and call me names every day for years.

One time, this guy came up to me and said "shut up" to my face when I wasn’t speaking, and I didn’t make a sound.

Guys and girls would target me when I did nothing to them, but everyone else wouldn’t get targeted, especially the ones who were classed as “weird” or “shy” in school; they never got bullied like I did.

In primary, secondary, and college, most girls targeted me and were horrible, some of who didn’t know me. I would get talked about behind my back, called names; some would be nice and then turn really emotionally abusive, and some girls who didn’t know me wouldn’t want to get anywhere near me or have anything to do with me. But I don’t get that because these girls have never spoken to me before, and I did nothing to any one of them. Most girls I tried to make friends with would distance themselves, run away from me, and treat me nastily to my face.

In secondary school, one friend that I had been friends with for years since primary, even turned on me and said horrible things to me, like "I could beat you up." All we were doing was walking in school; I didn’t annoy her, I didn’t do anything, and I didn’t say anything. Every time she said sorry when she did something wrong, she would do it again. She always sent me inappropriate stuff too and emotionally abused me. But in the beginning, she was nothing like this. She then begged me to come back and be her friend when I distanced myself.

In primary school, I had girls stealing my food without me knowing from my backpack and talking badly about me to other girls, never wanting to be friends. I had girls being cruel to my face every day for years in primary.

I was always left out; even boys in my primary school would be very nasty to me and make fun of me.

In secondary school, in class one day, this guy who doesn’t know me and doesn’t know my dad said, right in front of my face, "Make sure your dad goes back to his country," and that he must be good at making pizzas. I was born in England, but I have a foreign name and a foreign last name.

For a whole year in secondary school, I had two classmates who sat behind me during math class. They constantly sexually harassed me, making inappropriate comments and sexual gestures throughout the entire lesson. They would argue with each other, claiming, “She wants me.” This behavior went on for the entire year, with them saying sexual things directly to me. Not a single student in the class spoke up or helped, and neither did the teacher. The teacher was fully aware of what was happening, as they witnessed it every math lesson, yet chose to remain uninvolved and let it continue.

It was all different guys and girls not the same ones. Hundreds of people bullied me.

In secondary school and primary, even every single teacher in my different lessons with different students would disrespect me and the teachers let me get bullied in front of their own eyes. They would hear it happening and do nothing to stop it. Everywhere i went was basically unsafe for me.

This one guy in secondary school even timed how long I took to go to the toilet in classes. The same guy threatened to beat me up in class one day. I did nothing to this boy, by the way; I didn’t bother him, and I never involved myself with him. We weren’t friends; I hardly engaged with him or spoke to him, and he randomly wanted to beat me up and said he wanted to my face. He used to throw rubber at me, and the girls in my year would watch, smiling and enjoying it, not telling him to stop.

Girls in lessons in secondary would throw rubber at me during the whole lesson, and the teacher would watch it all happening, ignore it, and not say anything, pretending it wasn’t happening. Teachers never told anyone off.

In secondary school, I was even choking on my water once in class, yet no one asked if I was okay or helped me, and my teacher said in front of the whole class, “Choke in silence, please.”

In secondary school, I was also sexually harassed by older boys who were not in my year that were older than me.

Every single person that has come into my life has abused me, walked all over me, talked behind my back, but been nice to my face only sometimes.

In college, every girl I tried to make friends with distanced themselves a few weeks into being with me and started emotionally abusing me.

There was this one girl in my college with who I used to hang out a lot, but she would only hang out with me if her boyfriend was there. Then, a few weeks down the line, she started distancing herself, and when she saw me with her boyfriend, she tried to hide. I told her I was leaving the friendship, and then she and her boyfriend turned cruel to me. She even threatened to slap me in the face just because I looked at her after our friendship ended. She would call me fat in class all the time too. She always got her boyfriend involved, texting me and starting random drama that I didn’t cause when we weren’t friends anymore. After all of that, after not being friends for a few weeks, she texted me randomly one day, saying I could hang out with her and her boyfriend again. "What course are you going to in college now?" she also texted.

In college, a group of girls I used to be friends with, who I’m not friends with anymore, would normally wait for me outside the class because they were in the same class as me. We would hang out all the time, and then one day, when class finished and they normally waited for me, they all disappeared.

I wondered where these girls went, so I went to the toilet because I needed to go, and I randomly found them in there. When I walked in, they looked shocked, and one of the girls in the group said, “We were talking shit about you.” To my face.

The other girls in the group went silent. I replied, “I don’t care.” The girl who said we were talking shit about you laughed at me after I said I don’t care. She went on her phone and wouldn’t engage with any of us, not even me. After that, I grabbed one of the girls lipstick in the group and got her lipstick in my hand. She said, “Yeah, you need that; your lips are chapped,” and the other girl in the group said, “Your hair looks nice.” Then, after we walked out of the toilets, they all didn’t mind me hanging out with them.

The girl who told me that I need lip gloss because my lips are chapped is the same girl who, in the past, would write letters to me. She would write, “I’m so pretty,” and always play with my hair without my permission.

The same girl, one day in class in college, kept saying to my face, “You’re sick-minded.” She said it out of nowhere; I didn’t say a word. I wasn’t speaking to her; I was busy doing work because we were in class. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I replied back with, “How?” She kept repeating, “You’re sick-minded.” Every time I said how.

The girl next to her in our group said “yeah you’re annoying”.

The girl who called me sick-minded after she called me sick-minded and kept repeating it a few minutes later. After that situation happened, everyone left class because it was the end of class, and it was just me and her in the room. She started breaking down, crying out of nowhere, talking about how bad her past was, how people used to abuse her, and her abusive family members. I was comforting her, and then a few minutes later, she was absolutely fine and said, "Do you want me to buy you some food?"

The same girl one day also said, "I bet your mum is pretty," out of nowhere; I never mentioned anything about my mum.

On a different day, she said to my face, "You’re ugly," and walked off. I just stood there, and she came back to me, trying to hug me, saying, "I’m joking.”

Other than that the same girl would want to hang out with me at times even call me to hang out with me in college.

Every single girl who has come into my life has acted nice, then been very cruel to my face down the line, always distancing themselves. I’ve never had a true friend.

Even individuals who were unfamiliar with me, had never engaged in conversation with me, or had never encountered me previously would treat me poorly and refrain from forming friendships or would keep their distance, especially in primary school and secondary school; I had that issue.

I can remember all the hurt I've been through and still picture it to this day, which helps me put into words what I've experienced. I've been through a lot more worse stuff that I haven’t written about in this post, but the writing would have been so long that I had no time to include everything I went through that I wanted to put out there.

I’ve been bullied my whole life in nursery, primary, secondary, and college. Non stop. I never had a break for years.

My first experience with bullying started in nursery; I would have girls pulling my hair and eyelashes and getting pencils stabbed into me and physically attacked by girls and girls never wanted to be my friend.

I’ve been called names by guys and girls. Boys all my life have always disrespected me, sexually harassed me, called me names, and insulted me. It was every single guy.

Guys would chuck stuff at me and say "shut up" to my face when I didn’t say a word or make a sound. Guys would target me when I did nothing to them, but everyone else wouldn’t get targeted, especially the ones that were classed as “weird” in school; they didn’t get bullied like I did.

I did nothing to anyone, I swear. If I remember doing anything to anyone, I would write it down here. But I don’t get it; I don’t know why every single boy would target and bully me. I’ve had it my whole life, and what I mean by my whole life is actually my whole life in nursery, primary, secondary, and college. I never had a break.

Even most girls targeted me and were horrible. I would get talked about behind my back, called names; some would be nice then turn really emotionally abusive, and some girls that didn’t know me wouldn’t want to get anywhere near me or have anything to do with me But I don’t get that because these girls have never spoken to me before, and I did nothing to any one of them.

I would literally mind my own business. I was such a nice and laid-back person that I didn’t bother anyone; I wasn’t horrible to anyone, but everyone just always turns on me. In primary school, I had girls stealing my food and talking badly about me. When my friend did plaits in my hair, they all gave me disgraceful looks. I was always left out; even boys in my primary school would be very nasty to me and make fun of me. Some of the girls and boys who bullied me never knew me and were never friends with me; they were in my year but not in my classes. Every single person knew my name without me telling them too.

This one guy in secondary school asked me out, and he said, “No, she’s way too out of my league.” Then he started harassing me years later.

Some guy did ask me out, but they all bullied me as well. However, not all the boys that bullied me asked me out.

I was born in England, but I have a foreign name and a foreign last name. One day, this guy who doesn’t know me and doesn’t know my dad said in my class, right in front of my face, "Make sure your dad goes back to his country," and that he must be good at making pizzas.

These two guys in my class for a year, every time I had math with them, they sat behind me and sexually harassed me all lesson until the end of the lesson. They both said to each other arguing saying “she wants me”. They both did this for a year; they would say sexual things about me, say it to my face, and make sexual actions. No students in class ever intervened, not even the teacher. The teacher, for a year, could hear it going on and witnessed it all through class every time it was math lesson, and the teacher never got involved or did anything. The teacher just let it happen to me and never stopped it.

Even teachers in my school would disrespect me and let me get bullied in front of their eyes and have things thrown at me in front of their eyes, including in class.

This one guy even timed how long I took to go to the toilet in classes, and he threatened to beat me up in class one day. I did nothing to this boy, by the way; I didn’t bother him, and I never involved myself with him. He used to throw rubber at me, and the girls would watch, smiling and enjoying it, not telling him to stop.

I was even choking on my water once in class, yet no one in class asked if I was okay, and my teacher said in front of the whole class to me, “Choke in silence, please.”

I had so many other stuff that’s happened to me but it’s too long to explain.

Everyone in every school I went to treated me as a mug, irrelevant, and nasty.

I’ve never experienced true kindness. Well, I have experienced kindness from people I first met that I thought were my friends on the first day of meeting them, but weeks and months later they would switch up and abuse me, walk all over me, talk behind my back, but be nice to my face only sometimes. Most girls would compliment me, like this group of girls I used to be friends with, whom I’m not friends with anymore. I was in college; I’m an adult, but I went to college, and these girls that I hung out with were in the same lesson as me. They would normally wait for me outside the class if I was late packing up to leave, but they all disappeared.

I wondered where these girls went, so I went to the toilet because I needed to go, and I randomly found them in there. When I walked in, they looked shocked, and one of the girls in the group said, “We were talking shit about you.” To my face.

The other girls in the group went silent and didn’t say a word. I replied back with, “I don’t care”. And the girl who said we were talking shit about you laughed at me after I said I don’t care. She went on her phone and wouldn’t engage with any of us, not even me. After that, because of my attachment issues, I grabbed my friend's bag and got her lipstick in my hand. She said, “Yeah, you need that,” and the other girl said, “Your hair looks nice.” I said at least she is being nice, and no one said anything back. Then, after we walked out of the toilets, they all didn’t mind me hanging out with them.

The girl who told me that I need lip gloss because my lips are chapped is the same girl who, in the past, would write letters to me. She would write, “I’m so pretty,” and always play with my hair. The same girl, one day in class in college, kept saying to my face, “You’re sick minded.” She said it out of nowhere; I didn’t say a word. I was just sitting there in class doing the work. I didn’t do anything, and I replied back with “How?” She kept repeating, “You’re sick minded.”

The girl who called me sick minded a few minutes ago After that situation happened, everyone left class because it was the end of class, and it was just me and her in the room. She started breaking down, crying out of nowhere, talking about how bad her past was, how people used to abuse her, and her abusive family members. I was comforting her, and then a few minutes later, she was absolutely fine and said, "Do you want me to buy you some chicken nuggets?"

The same girl one day also said, "I bet your mum is pretty," and on a different day, she said to my face, "You’re ugly," and walked off. I just stood there, no reaction, and she came to me, trying to hug me, saying, "I’m joking." This all happened a year ago, by the way; I am not friends with any of these girls anymore.

I just don’t get why I deserved all of this; I never treated anyone this way. I was never horrible to anyone, i never bothered everyone.

Every single girl that has come into my life has acted like this, been very cruel to my face, always distancing themselves and always telling me their problems in life. The thing is, when every girl meets me for the first time, they’re nice, but they all switch up. It’s been every single girl in my life.

Even strangers who didn’t know me, had never spoken to me, or had never seen me before would be horrible to me and not want to be my friend or distance themselves.

I’ve struggled with self acceptance for as long as I can remember. Even as an adult, I still battle feelings of disdain towards my face and body feelings that took root in my childhood.

I know I'm kind and have interests that matter, yet I often feel lost when it comes to understanding who I really am.

From a young age, I felt like I didn’t measure up to the other girls around me. I believed I would never be as beautiful, successful, or liked as they were.

This pattern of comparison continued through my teenage years and into adulthood I couldn't help but measure my own body and face against every girl I encountered, long before social media entered the picture.

Every time I look in the mirror, I feel disgusted. I think to myself, why was I not made prettier and have a better body like every single girl I’ve seen around me? I also started thinking this since I was a kid; it never left me, those thoughts, especially in my teenage years, and even now I have these thoughts as an adult.

I always wish I was more liked by others, like all the other girls are.

Every other girl except for me has such a funny, great, and likable personality that everyone likes, while I don’t even know my personality.

I found myself mimicking the personalities and appearances of other girls, longing for their traits instead of my own. It became an obsession, an overwhelming fixation that convinced me I needed to be more like them in every way.

I often attach myself to people quickly, feeling an immediate bond, sometimes to a fault.

I can get unexpectedly angry, have mood swings, and feel sad at times every day for no reason. I feel lonely when I have people around me all the time, and I never feel loved even when people show that they love and care for me; my mind still thinks they don’t, and it’s not true.

When I meet someone for the first time, I always assume they're my friend right away from the first day we meet, not realizing I might be smothering them with my eagerness to connect and being too close to them right from the start, getting very attached to them. This is why I think I’ve never had a real friendship, and every person I attach to becomes distant because I go straight into acting like I’ve known them since the first day we met when I actually know nothing about them. I just met the person, and I would act like we’ve been friends for years and know all about them. I would attach and not let the person go. I hate being on my own as well; I can’t deal with being alone anywhere, especially in my house and in public places. I get anxious too in public places. I can’t be alone; for years I haven’t been out of the house without someone by my side. I can’t do it; my mind overthinks, and it keeps telling me strangers will harm you and make fun of you.

I don’t like being in my own head; it is exhausting to be me. It always has been since I was a child.

I scan everywhere for constant threats. I am also so hyper-vigilant that I notice every detail about everyone around me.

I also get really jealous of every single girl friendship and their love life. If I see any girl having a good time with friends or with their boyfriend, I get so upset that I cry for hours, thinking, "Why not me? Why am I not going to get that?" I have been wishing for it for years, and I get so jealous that I want to be them instead, and I become very angry and envious.

I think to myself, why can’t I be loved that way? Why has no one ever treated me as well as other girls have been treated?

I’ve never had a proper friend. The only people that came into my life that I thought were my friends all turned abusive towards me, but they were nice to me the first time we met, and they all distanced themselves away from me after they got to know me and turned really nasty.

I don’t do that to anyone who has come into my life. I’ve always treated people with respect, honesty, and kindness 24/7, with no judgment, being supportive and loyal, and I never tell secrets. I’ve never received the same in return from anyone in my life. I always give but don’t get back. This has happened with every single person who has come into my life. Even girls who don’t know me and have never spoken to me before would ignore me straight away and not bother engaging with me. Then, when I see that happening, I try to make myself liked and talk to these kinds of girls more to see if they will accept me or not and like me.

I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know what it feels like to be valued, loved for who I am, protected, cared for, appreciated, and treated well. I don’t know what it’s like to not be abused. I’ve never had anyone stay by my side or want to.

I’ve been bullied my whole life in nursery, primary, secondary, and college. My first experience with bullying started in nursery; I would have girls pulling my hair and eyelashes and getting pencils stabbed into me.

I’ve been called names by boys and girls. Boys all my life have always disrespected me, sexually harassed me, called me names, and insulted me. It was every boy.

Boys would chuck stuff at me and say "shut up" to my face when I didn’t say a word or make a sound. Boys would target me when I did nothing to them, but everyone else wouldn’t get targeted, especially the ones that were classed as “weird” in school; they didn’t get bullied like I did.

I did nothing to anyone, I swear. If I remember doing anything to anyone, I would write it down here. But I don’t get it; I don’t know why every single boy would target and bully me. I’ve had it my whole life, and what I mean by my whole life is actually my whole life in nursery, primary, secondary, and college. I never had a break.

Even most girls targeted me and were horrible. I would get talked about behind my back, called names; some would be nice then turn really emotionally abusive, and some girls that didn’t know me wouldn’t want to get anywhere near me or have anything to do with me But I don’t get that because these girls have never spoken to me before, and I did nothing to any one of them.

I would literally mind my own business. I was such a nice and laid-back person that I didn’t bother anyone; I wasn’t horrible to anyone, but everyone just always turns on me. In primary school, I had girls stealing my food and talking badly about me. When my friend did plaits in my hair, they all gave me disgraceful looks. I was always left out; even boys in my primary school would be very nasty to me and make fun of me. Some of the girls and boys who bullied me never knew me and were never friends with me; they were in my year but not in my classes. Every single person knew my name without me telling them too.

This one boy in secondary school asked me out, and he said, “No, she’s way too out of my league.” Then he started harassing me years later.

Some boys did ask me out, but they all bullied me as well. However, not all the boys that bullied me asked me out.

I was born in England, but I have a foreign name and a foreign last name. One day, this boy who doesn’t know me and doesn’t know my dad said in my class, right in front of my face, "Make sure your dad goes back to his country," and that he must be good at making pizzas.

These two boys in my class for a year, every time I had math with them, they sat behind me and sexually harassed me all lesson until the end of the lesson. They both said to each other arguing saying “she wants me”. They both did this for a year; they would say sexual things about me, say it to my face, and make sexual actions. No students in class ever intervened, not even the teacher. The teacher, for a year, could hear it going on and witnessed it all through class every time it was math lesson, and the teacher never got involved or did anything. The teacher just let it happen to me and never stopped it.

It wasn’t just a few boys that were horrible to me; it was every single boy.

Even teachers in my school would disrespect me and let me get bullied in front of their eyes and have things thrown at me in front of their eyes, including in class.

This one boy even timed how long I took to go to the toilet in classes, and he threatened to beat me up in class one day. I did nothing to this boy, by the way; I didn’t bother him, and I never involved myself with him. He used to throw rubber at me, and the girls would watch, smiling and enjoying it, not telling him to stop.

I was even choking on my water once in class, yet no one in class asked if I was okay, and my teacher said in front of the whole class to me, “Choke in silence, please.”

I had so many other stuff that’s happened to me but it’s too long to explain.

Everyone in every school I went to treated me as a mug, irrelevant, and nasty.

I’ve never experienced true kindness. Well, I have experienced kindness from people I first met that I thought were my friends on the first day of meeting them, but weeks and months later they would switch up and abuse me, walk all over me, talk behind my back, but be nice to my face only sometimes. Most girls would compliment me, like this group of girls I used to be friends with, whom I’m not friends with anymore. I was in college; I’m an adult, but I went to college, and these girls that I hung out with were in the same lesson as me. They would normally wait for me outside the class if I was late packing up to leave, but they all disappeared.

I wondered where these girls went, so I went to the toilet because I needed to go, and I randomly found them in there. When I walked in, they looked shocked, and one of the girls in the group said, “We were talking shit about you.” To my face.

The other girls in the group went silent and didn’t say a word. I replied back with, “I don’t care”. And the girl who said we were talking shit about you laughed at me after I said I don’t care. She went on her phone and wouldn’t engage with any of us, not even me. After that, because of my attachment issues, I grabbed my friend's bag and got her lipstick in my hand. She said, “Yeah, you need that,” and the other girl said, “Your hair looks nice.” I said at least she is being nice, and no one said anything back. Then, after we walked out of the toilets, they all didn’t mind me hanging out with them.

The girl who told me that I need lip gloss because my lips are chapped is the same girl who, in the past, would write letters to me. She would write, “I’m so pretty,” and always play with my hair. The same girl, one day in class in college, kept saying to my face, “You’re sick minded.” She said it out of nowhere; I didn’t say a word. I was just sitting there in class doing the work. I didn’t do anything, and I replied back with “How?” She kept repeating, “You’re sick minded.”

Then I said to the girl next to me, who is mostly always nice to me, “Why is no one pranking anyone today?” She said, “Here you go then,” and messed up my chair on purpose while I was sitting in it. Then she stopped and said, “You asked.” This girl, by the way, who did that to my chair used to hang out with me, but she was mostly with her boyfriend, so we didn’t hang out much. We considered each other friends, and she was sitting next to me in the same lesson.

But anyway, back to the girl who called me sick minded a few minutes ago After that situation happened, everyone left class because it was the end of class, and it was just me and her in the room. She started breaking down, crying out of nowhere, talking about how bad her past was, how people used to abuse her, and her abusive family members. I was comforting her, and then a few minutes later, she was absolutely fine and said, "Do you want me to buy you some chicken nuggets?"

The same girl one day also said, "I bet your mum is pretty," and on a different day, she said to my face, "You’re ugly," and walked off. I just stood there, no reaction, and she came to me, trying to hug me, saying, "I’m joking." This all happened a year ago, by the way; I am not friends with any of these girls anymore.

I just don’t get why I deserved all of this; I never treated anyone this way.

Every single girl that has come into my life has acted like this, been very cruel to my face, always distancing themselves and always telling me their problems in life. The thing is, when every girl meets me for the first time, they’re nice, but they all switch up. It’s been every single girl in my life.

Even strangers who didn’t know me, had never spoken to me, or had never seen me before would be horrible to me and not want to be my friend or distance themselves.

I’ve also lost a lot of family members so i deal with grief as well.

I always read into everyone's body language, and I think about what they may actually be thinking and what they truly may be feeling that they are hiding especially around others. They are not showing their true selves when they’re around people. I always think people have a mask on and pretend to be someone they’re not. We truly don’t know who people really are when they’re alone and no one is around.

I also don’t allow people in my life who disrespect me, don’t care, say horrible words even as a joke, are not helpful and supportive.

The people in my life need to be supportive, kind 24/7, respectful of me and other people, with no backchatting, and they must help me out. Every person in my life has to be respectful in how they talk and treat me with care too, and if they don’t, I get rid of them from my life and never speak to them again.

If the person doesn’t give me enough attention, value me, respect me, or respect me with their words and actions, and says horrible things about me even in a joking way especially the phrase "shut up" that’s not alright. I’d go ballistic and be very angry with the person, and I’d be very upset for hours on end, never stopping thinking about it all day, believing the person dislikes me and that they’re fake.

Anything small I find disrespectful to me, another person probably would not find it disrespectful and would be fine with it.

This guy from years ago. I haven't seen him in a long time. He hardly knew me, even though we were in the same school. A few times, he caught me staring at him; one day he got mad at my face and told me to stop staring. That was the first time he spoke to me, and I didn't respond. After that, he never talked to me again. I wasn't staring because I liked him; he just reminded me of someone. We weren't friends and barely knew each other. We hardly spoke after that first encounter when he told me to stop looking at him.

Then one year later, I found myself sitting near him, those were the only seats available. He had to sit close to me with his friends because only seats available, and I was just minding my own business, not looking at him, i didn’t say anything. Out of nowhere, he said to his friend, "She wants to bite my arm off," while extending his arm and smiling at me. He held his arm out, and I glanced at it. He said, "She does." I replied no, and he laughed silently while his friends laughed loudly. He then stared at me for over 5 minutes without saying a word, still holding his arm out. Eventually, the moment passed. We still weren't friends and rarely saw each other after that. A year later, I spotted him by the restrooms. He was just standing there, doing nothing, staring at the boys' toilets, with no one around and no phone. I asked him, "Why are you standing there?" He responded, "Shut up (my name)" in a sweet tone. I smiled at him because he reminded me of someone I cared about in the past, but he looked back at me with anger and wouldn't look away. So, I walked away. By the way, I never told him my name, so I have no idea how he knew it.

Two years later, I spotted him in the same room as my friends, while he was with his own friends. My friends chose to sit close to him, so I ended up sitting near him too. They were unaware of who he was; my friends didn’t do it on purpose they just sat there. I stayed silent, not making a sound or looking at him. He gently said to me, "Put your mask on." He and no one else were wearing masks, and it wasn't even during covid. After that, he didn't say anything more. We barely spoke after that moment. I had no connection with him.

A year later, he saw me again and stared at me. I wasn't looking his way, and the school corridors were empty; it was only me and him there walking in the corridors. I saw him staring at me, but I didn't return the stare. He then looked away, and a few seconds later, after staring at me, he walked over to the bin and kicked it once. He then stood there facing the bin, staring and doing nothing, before turning his head and staring at me again while still facing the bin. Then he walked off. I stopped walking and stood there staring at him after he walked off staring at him with a confused expression. He looked at me, smiled, and continued walking away. He wouldn’t even talk to me when I made an effort by stopping walking and giving him a confused look. It makes no sense. He never said a word during the whole thing.

He also copied my facial expressions at times, my smile mostly. When I smile, he smiles back, and this one time i saw him smile once at me and there was nothing behind his eyes while smiling.

Still, after all of these incidents, we were never friends, never spoke, and never saw each other every day. These incidents only happened when we saw each other around in school randomly.

This all happened years ago. I’m not at school anymore. I’m an adult now. I have nothing to do with him or any contact never have done

I’ve never been in a relationship, and I’m really curious about what it’s like. Can anyone share their experiences? I’d love to hear all the details, advice, and what to expect in a relationship. Just tell me everything you can!

In my past, 15 years, I have endured relentless bullying. From my early childhood through my teenage years, there was never a moment without bullying for 15 years. I was bullied all through primary school, all through secondary school, and sometimes in college. I suffered both mental and physical abuse, constantly targeted by both girls and boys. Most boys would call me insults, call me names, and throw objects at me, emotionally tormenting me and speaking poorly about me to other boys. Nearly all girls, particularly those who didn’t know me, would be especially cruel to my face, make fun of me and every single one would gossip maliciously behind my back. The treatment I received was shocking; I was tormented and bullied by my peers for reasons I could never comprehend.

I have never had any enemies and have never intentionally annoyed or bullied anyone. I kept to myself and acted like everyone else, yet I was always the one who was targeted and bullied.

People say the quiet ones get bullied; there were a couple of girls who were so quiet and shy, never said a word in my year, and they didn’t act normally either, yet they still never got bullied by boys or girls. I acted normally like everyone else in school, but I always got sexually harassed, physically and mentally abused, and bullied by nearly my whole year group. Every girl in my year avoided me, and if I tried to make friends with some girls in my year, they would be horrible some would be nice but then turn really nasty. It was every girl. It was nearly my whole year group who bullied me, some of whom didn’t even know me and had never spoken to me.

Despite my attempts to remain unnoticed and behave normally, I found myself consistently singled out and picked on by girls and boys.

The reason for this bullying remains a mystery to me, as I have never done anything to provoke it.

Girls never showed interest in forming friendships with me, and whenever I did manage to connect with girls, they would soon distance themselves, turn hostile, ignore me, and flee from my presence.

I was also poorly treated by nearly all my teachers, who stood by and watched as I was bullied, for years, doing nothing to intervene.

I never did anything to anyone, so I don’t understand why it was me. I would understand if I did anything to anyone, but I didn’t. I know it sounds like a victim mindset, but I’m being truthful; I really didn’t do anything to anyone. If I did something wrong or remembered what I did, I would write it here, but I didn’t. I was never horrible or anything to anyone; I minded my own business and was kind.

That happened my whole school life. It’s been years now, and I don’t go to school anymore because I’m an adult, but I still have an issue to this day where most girls are nice to me, but then they turn nasty and emotionally abuse me, wanting to get rid of me and talk behind my back.

Everyone in my year group knew my name. I had never even spoken to all these people who knew my name; I never told them my name either.

Those who tormented me were strangers, having never taken the time to know me or even engage in a conversation. A vast majority of my peers, numbering in the hundreds, participated in this bullying, despite their lack of familiarity with me. In the classroom, I blended in with my classmates, yet I still faced harassment, both during lessons and outside of them. People who knew me too would also bully me in class and not in class.

For as long as I can remember, I've harbored a deep seated hatred for my face and body. This feeling took root in my childhood and has lingered through my teenage years, continuing into adulthood. I still grapple with this issue, loathing every aspect of myself, from my body to my face.

I would deprive myself of food, convinced that this would earn me more acceptance from others and enhance my appeal, but I always find myself spiraling back into binge eating. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps repeating.

I convinced myself that every girl possessed a more appealing body and face than mine, a belief that still haunts me today. I've never been fond of my appearance.

For as long as I can remember, I've been in a constant state of comparison with every girl around me, scrutinizing their faces and bodies every single day. This habit took root in my childhood, carried through my teenage years, and remains a struggle for me as an adult.

I harbour such intense self hatred that I can't help but despise who I am.

I want a new face and body; I desire to look like someone else instead of who I am.

I desire to live the life of another girl, to share her friendships and her love story.

At times, I feel completely lost when it comes to understanding my personality. I know I am compassionate, eager to support, be kind, and a source of support for others, but aside from that, I struggle to grasp the essence of my true self.

Finding motivation for anything is a struggle, leading to chronic procrastination. This has been my reality for years, resulting in a life devoid of achievement and not experiencing life like others.

I can't help but think that every girl is more accomplished than I am, more attractive, and enjoying a life that I can only dream of. This belief is reinforced by my ongoing health challenges, which I can’t have a job because of these health issues that I face every single day, issues that have been a part of my life for years now. The struggle is constant, and it weighs heavily on me.

I wish I could trade my face, body, personality, and life for those of another girl.

I often feel a wave of sadness wash over me when I witness the friendships and romantic relationship that other girls enjoy.

I’ve never experienced being in a relationship or having a genuine friend.

Every person who has entered my life, including those I believed were my friends, started off kind, but eventually, they all became emotionally abusive and aggressive towards me after a few weeks or months, pulling away from me. It’s not just one person; it’s been every single individual who has come into my life.

As a result, I find myself without any friends today because I hesitate to form new connections, fearing I will be treated the same way again. I often think there’s no point in trying to make friends, as every single one I’ve had in the past has turned emotionally abusive, cruel, and distanced themselves from me.

Throughout my life, I've always shown kindness and loyalty to everyone who has crossed my path, including those who have mistreated me and even strangers. I'm consistently there for others, offering help in any way I can, and ensuring they feel loved and cared for. Unfortunately, I have never received the same level of treatment in return; this has been my experience with everyone.

I've decided to give up on forming friendships because of this.

Throughout my life, not one person has stood by me, recognizing my worth, cherishing me, or treating me as if I truly matter.

There has been no one who has expressed a wish to share moments with me, to invest time and energy into our relationship, or to genuinely care for and love me. Even though I have poured my heart into every connection I've made, that same love has never been returned.

This is why I feel a deep sadness when I witness others in a loving relationship and enjoying wonderful friendships something I have never experienced. I long for that connection.

I constantly relive memories from my past, which seem to replay in my mind every single day. They haunt me, refusing to let me find peace for years on end.

For many years, I've experienced sudden feelings of sadness and tiredness each day, without any obvious cause for my distress.

Throughout my life, I have faced unending bullying. From my early childhood to my teenage years, there was never a moment of peace. I endured both mental and physical abuse, constantly targeted by both girls and boys. Boys would hurl insults at me, call me names, and throw things at me, emotionally tormenting me and speaking terribly about me to other boys during my school days. Girls, especially those who didn’t know me, would be particularly cruel to my face, while every single one would gossip maliciously behind my back, pretending to be nice in front of me. The treatment I received was appalling; I was tormented and bullied by my peers for reasons I could never understand.

I have never had any enemies, nor have I ever intentionally irritated anyone. I kept to myself and behaved like everyone else, yet I was always the one who was targeted and bullied.

Despite my efforts to stay under the radar and act normally, I found myself consistently singled out and picked on. The reason for this bullying is still a mystery to me, as I have never done anything to provoke it.

Girls rarely showed interest in forming friendships with me, and whenever I did manage to connect with someone, they would soon distance themselves, turn nasty, ignoring me and fleeing from my presence.

I was also poorly treated by nearly all my teachers, who stood by and watched as I was bullied, doing nothing to intervene.

When I experience happiness, it feels like a brief moment, lasting less than an hour, before I find myself back in a state of sadness for no reason, grappling with these mood swings.

My mind is constantly filled with worries about the future, imagining the worst possible scenarios.

I find myself reliving memories from my past every single day. The people I used to know, with whom I no longer have any connection, frequently occupy my thoughts, even years later especially the ones that abused me.

Not a single person would choose me first.

I was never someone's priority.

I always comfort others with the words I wish to hear but never have.

Forgiving without ever receiving an apology from anyone is the bravest thing I've ever done.

Every day, my thoughts are consumed by anxiety about what lies ahead, often envisioning the most negative outcomes for my future.

I can't escape the flashbacks of my past that haunt me relentlessly.

Those people from my earlier life, whom I have lost touch with, continue to linger in my mind, even after so many years.

I yearn for a moment of tranquility, a chance to silence this chaos and finally achieve inner peace with myself.

All I desire is for my mind to find peace and to put an end to this turmoil. I long to be at peace with myself as well.

A piece of me wonders why I am subjected to this kind of treatment.

If I ever find love, I hope it's with someone who protects my peace by thinking about how their actions will make me feel and never leave me.

Every day I questioning myself why all these things happened to me, even after my intentions were pure and genuine.

I long to erase all the pain I've endured, yet I find myself unable to do so.

I would never do that to someone and I deserve someone who would never do that to me.

The desire to forget the hurt is strong, but the memories linger on.

This is the kind of letter i’ve always wished someone had written to me.

My Love,

I wish I could take your mind from you for just one day, only so you could finally rest.

I know how loud it is in there. I know it never stops. Every room you walk into, every person you pass, every memory that comes back without asking you carry all of it. I wish I could sit beside you in silence, put your headphones on for you, and watch the world slow down enough for you to breathe.

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.

Not through the eyes of the little girl who learned to hate her own reflection.

Not through the years you spent starving yourself, believing another body would finally make you worthy.

Not through the comparisons that have stolen so much of your life, making you believe every other girl was somehow more deserving of love than you.

I know you still look at other women and wish you had their face, their body, their personality, their friendships, their relationships even their life.

I know those thoughts don’t leave you alone. I know they’ve followed you since childhood.

I know the bullying didn’t end after one bad year. It stole years from you. People who never knew you made you feel like you were someone to laugh at. The people who were supposed to protect you didn’t.

The people you trusted eventually hurt you too. After enough of that, of course you stopped believing people stay.

I know why compliments slide straight past your heart.

I know why you struggle to believe someone could really love you.

But if I could tell you one thing, it would be this.

You have spent your whole life believing you had to become someone else before you deserved the love you’ve been searching for.

You never noticed that you were already giving that love away.

You stayed loyal when people weren’t loyal to you.

You stayed kind when people weren’t kind to you.

You listened when nobody listened to you.

You cared for people who never cared for you the same way.

That doesn’t make you weak.

It makes my heart ache for the version of you that never received what she kept giving away.

I know there are days when sadness arrives without knocking.

Days when your past feels closer than your present.

Days when your thoughts return to people who left, to memories that won’t let go, to the girl in the mirror you wish wasn’t looking back at you.

If I could, I’d hold your face in my hands until you stopped apologising for having it.

I’d remind you that your reflection has carried every year you’ve survived.

I’d remind you that you are more than the cruelty you endured.

I can’t erase the years that convinced you that you weren’t enough.

I can’t erase the loneliness.

I can’t erase the memories.

But I hope that one day, you’ll realise something.

You’ve survived every version of yourself that thought she never would.

And if I were beside you, I wouldn’t ask you to become another girl.

I would only ask you to stop apologising for being this one.

Always yours.

My whole life, I have hated my face and body. It started in childhood and continued into my teenage years. I would starve myself for years, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, more pretty. I believed every girl had a better body and face than I did, and I still think the same to this day. I have never liked my face and body.

All my life, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. This started in my childhood, and it carried into my teenage years, and I still have this problem to this day as an adult. I hate everything about myself so much that I despise myself. I want another face and body; I want to look like another girl, not me. I’m so ugly. I want another girl’s life, I want another girl’s friendship and relationship.

I deal with severe limerence. I've been thinking about this guy for 5 years. I haven’t seen him or talked to him in 5 years. We barely knew each other; we only exchanged names and had one conversation. Nothing else happened between us. He keeps popping up in my mind everyday to this day. I've tried to forget about him, but nothing seems to work. We weren't friends, and we never dated. For years, I have been comparing myself to his girlfriend, and I find myself checking her social media daily for years.

I am uncertain about my personality and my identity. I recognize that I am kind, helpful, and supportive, and I am aware of my interests, but beyond that, I know nothing else about myself.

I struggle to find motivation for anything, especially due to anxiety around strangers and public places, and I procrastinate on everything. This has been happening every day for years now. This has caused me to not have a life and not achieve anything in this life like most people have.

I copy every girl's personality and appearance.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more pretty than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, body, personality, and life instead of my own.

I think every girl is better than I am, achieves more than me, is prettier, and is more liked than me. Everyone likes every single girl, but not me, and it gets me annoyed.

I often find myself feeling upset when I see the friendships and love life that other girls have. I’ve never been in a relationship and never had a true friend.

Every person who came into my life, including people who I thought were my friends, was nice in the beginning, but then they all turned emotionally abusive and aggressive towards me weeks or months down the line of the friendship and distanced themselves from me. It was never just one person who did it; it has been every single person who has come into my life.

I don’t have any friends to this day because I don’t make any, as I’m afraid of getting treated like this again. I think to myself there is no point in making friends because all my life, every single friend I had made has turned emotionally abusive, nasty and distance themselves from me.

I can’t lie; i don’t like lying. I have always treated everyone who has come into my life including the ones that abused me and strangers with kindness and loyalty. I am always there for everyone, helping them with anything, and always making them feel loved and cared for. I never get the same treatment back; I never have from anyone. I give up on having any friends now or involving myself with strangers. At this rate, I’d rather keep to myself.

I’ve never had one person in my life who hasn’t left me, who values me, appreciates me, and treats me like I am important in their life, wanting to spend time with me, putting in effort for me, and caring for me and loving me. I’ve not had that from anyone, even though I gave it back to every single person who’s been in my life. This is why I feel sad when I see people in a loving relationship and having fantastic friendships, which I never got. People who actually love and appreciate them in their lives care about them and never leave. I want that but have never had it.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone for years.

I've been experiencing sudden feelings of sadness and fatigue for years for no reason no cause for me to be sad.

My mood swings can be intense, and I often find myself getting angry very quickly.

I often find it hard to believe that anyone genuinely likes or loves me; I tend to think that people are just pretending.

In my past, I’ve been bullied my whole life. I was bullied in my childhood and teenage years. I never had a break from bullying; I experienced it mentally and physically, non stop, from both girls and boys. I would get treated horribly, abused, and bullied by everyone around me in school for no reason. I did nothing to anyone, but I was always the one who got picked on and targeted. I never made enemies or anything, so I don’t know why I got bullied. Girls never really wanted to be friends with me, and when I was making friends, everyone would distance themselves in school and ignore me and run away from me. I would make sure not to annoy or bother anyone, minding my own business acted normal in school, yet I still found myself being bullied. This one boy, who I had never spoken to and never seen in my life, told a girl, I'm weird. He didn’t even know me. I’m an adult now all the bullying had happened years ago but it still affects me to this day.

I was mistreated by nearly all my teachers, and in front of their eyes, they let me get bullied; the teachers did nothing.

I've been struggling with sadness every single day for years, even when there's no clear reason for it. When I do feel happy, it’s like a fleeting moment less than an hour and then I'm right back to feeling down and dealing with these mood swings.

I’ve been binge eating every day for years and continue to spend money on the same drinks and foods nearly every day because I’m addicted. I get addicted to the same food and drinks to the point that I have to have them every day otherwise, I feel the side effects, and my brain won’t stop going on all day about having the same food or drink until I give in and have it in the end. I have a money spending addiction and an addiction to movies to the point where I watch the same movie every day.

My mind is constantly active, always scanning my surroundings, thinking many different thoughts, always analyzing people's behavior, and just in general, always thinking about anything. It never stops thinking about everything, all day, every day. The only way to drown the noise is by listening to music. I feel euphoria and nostalgia deep in my body. Staring outside the window or at nature, I feel the most euphoric things while experiencing a deep sensation of sorrow, too.

My mind is constantly active; it never stops thinking about everything, all day, every day. I feel euphoria and nostalgia deep in my body. Staring outside window or at nature feeling the most euphoric things feeling a deep sensation of sorrow. I've never experienced a truly relaxed mind in my entire life.

My whole life, I have hated my face and body since childhood. It started in childhood; I would starve myself for years during childhood, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, more prettier. I believed every girl had a better body and face than me and still do to this day. Everywhere I went, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. It started in my childhood and It carried into my teenage years, and I still have this problem to this day as an adult. I hate everything about myself so much that I despise myself. I want another face and body i want to look like another girl not me. I’m so ugly.

I deal with severe limerence. I've been thinking about this guy for years. I haven’t seen him or talked to him in 5 years. We barely knew each other; we only exchanged names and had one conversation. Nothing else happened between us. Despite that, he keeps popping up in my mind to this day, everyday. For five years, I've tried to forget about him, but nothing seems to work. We weren't friends, and we never dated. For years, I have been comparing myself to his girlfriend, and I find myself checking her social media daily.

I am uncertain about my personality and my identity. I recognize that I am kind, helpful, and supportive, and I am aware of my interests, but beyond that, I know nothing else about myself.

I struggle to find motivation for anything, especially anxiety of strangers and public places and I procrastinate on everything. This has been happening every day for years now. This has caused me to not have a life and not achieve anything in this life like most people have at my age.

I copy every girl's personality and appearance.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more pretty than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, body, personality, and life instead of my own.

I often find myself feeling upset when I see the friendships and love life that other girls have. I’ve never been in a relationship and never had a true friend.

Every person who came into my life, including people who I thought were my friends, was nice in the beginning, but then they all turned emotionally abusive and aggressive towards me weeks or months down the line of the friendship and distanced themselves from me. It was never just one person who did it; it has been every single person who has come into my life.

I don’t have any friends to this day because I don’t make any, as I’m afraid of getting treated like this again. I think to myself there is no point in making friends because all my life, every single friend I had made has turned emotionally abusive, nasty and distance themselves from me.

I’ve never had one person in my life who hasn’t left me, who values me, appreciates me, and treats me like I am important in their life.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone for years.

I've been experiencing sudden feelings of sadness and fatigue for years, and I can't pinpoint any specific cause.

My mood swings can be intense, and I often find myself getting angry very quickly.

I often find it hard to believe that anyone genuinely likes or loves me; I tend to think that people are just pretending.

I’ve been bullied my whole life. I was bullied in my childhood and teenage years, and sometimes in adulthood. I never had a break from bullying; I experienced it mentally and physically, non stop, from both girls and boys. I would get treated horribly, abused, and bullied by everyone around me in school for no reason. I did nothing to anyone, but I was always the one who got picked on and targeted by both boys and girls. I never made enemies or anything, so I don’t know why I got bullied.

Girls never really wanted to be friends with me, and when I was making friends, everyone would distance themselves in school and ignore me and run away. I would go through my day at school, making sure not to annoy or bother anyone, yet I still found myself being bullied.

Some people who were not in my classes would bully me too. This one boy, who I had never spoken to and never seen in my life, told a girl, I'm weird. He didn’t even know me.

I was mistreated by nearly all my teachers, and in front of their eyes, they let me get bullied; the teachers did nothing.

I don’t know why I deserved all this abuse; I did nothing wrong to anyone. I was nice, minding my own business, acting normal in class but I was still always being targeted.

I’ve been feeling sad everyday for years even if nothing caused me to be sad. When i’m happy it only lasts a short time less than an hour then i’m back to feeling sad and mood swings.

I’ve been binge eating every day for years and continue to spend money on the same drinks and foods nearly every day because I’m addicted. I get addicted to the same food and drinks to the point that I have to have them every day otherwise, I feel the side effects, and my brain won’t stop going on all day about having the same food or drink until I give in and have it in the end. I have a money spending addiction and an addiction to movies to the point where I watch the same movie every day.

I spent years
believing my reflection
was my greatest enemy.
Not because it was,
but because I decided
it had to be.
I looked at other girls
and made them winners
before I knew their names.
I made myself lose
before anyone else had the chance.
I starved for acceptance,
thinking an empty stomach
could fill an empty confidence.
It never did.
Cruel people existed.
They left marks.
That part is real.
But I also carried them with me
long after they had gone.
I chase certainty
like it’s something
another person can hand me.
I ask the same questions
from different angles,
hoping one answer
will finally quiet my mind.
It rarely does.
I don’t want pretty lies.
I want the truth,
even when it hurts.
Sometimes I forget
that the truth
is not always absolute.
I have spent so much time
searching for proof
that I am enough,
while treating myself
like the one witness
whose opinion never counts.
My greatest battle
has never been the mirror,
the bullies,
or the strangers.
It has been the voice
that learned to sound like them.
Until that voice changes,
no amount of reassurance,
beauty,
or approval
will ever feel like enough.

Since childhood,
I have measured my worth
against faces that never knew my name,
against bodies that never carried my story.
I remember insults
long after the people who spoke them
forgot I existed.
I collect moments
the wondering,
“Why me?”
I ask the same questions
again and again,
not because I cannot hear the answer,
but because somewhere inside me
I still hope one answer
will finally erase the past.
I search for certainty
where certainty does not exist.
I want the truth,
even when it hurts.
Especially when it hurts.
I do not want comforting lies.
I want reality,
to know exactly how others see me,
exactly what words mean,
exactly whether I was right.
But people are not equations.
They leave questions unfinished.
So I carry them.
I have spent years believing
beauty was the entrance fee
to kindness,
to belonging,
to peace.
Yet even after all this,
I am still here,
still asking,
still searching,
still refusing
to stop looking for something real.
That is both my strength
and my burden.
I am relentless.
Not because I think I am important.
Because I have spent so long
trying to prove
that I deserve
to exist.
And perhaps the hardest truth is
The people who hurt me
have occupied my mind
far longer
than I ever occupied theirs.
They kept walking.
I kept carrying
what they left behind.
I am tired
of living inside
memories
that no longer belong
to anyone
but me.

My whole life, I have hated my face and body since childhood. It started in childhood; I would starve myself for years, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, believing every girl had a better body and face than me. Everywhere I went, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. It carried into my teenage years, and I still deal with this to this day as an adult.

I have been thinking of this guy for years now. I haven’t seen him in years and haven’t had contact in years. We hardly knew each other, and nothing happened between us only that we knew each other’s names and had one conversation. Other than that, we never spoke or saw each other, but still, to this day, he’s always in my thoughts. For five years, whatever I do to stop thoughts of him, it won’t work. I don’t know why I am dealing with this; I can’t stop it. I didn’t know him; we were never friends and never dated, so I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been comparing myself to his girlfriend he is currently with for years, always checking her social media.

I don’t know my personality or who I am. I know I am kind, helpful, supportive, and I know my interests, but that's it.

I struggle to find motivation for anything and tend to procrastinate a lot. This has been my daily routine for years now.

I copy every girl's personality, clothing style, appearance, and trends.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more pretty than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, body, personality, and life.

I often find myself feeling jealous and a bit down when I see the friendships and relationship that other girls have.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone, and I always remember people from my past in my thoughts.

I deal with nostalgia and euphoria in my body; I feel it to the extreme, along with sadness and fatigue out of nowhere every day.

I never believe anyone truly likes me or loves me i always think people fake it.

It is so difficult to deal with the constant overthinking in my mind every day, all day. I never get a rest from my own mind my whole life. I live inside my own mind more than in reality.

My whole life, I have hated my face and body since childhood. It started in childhood; I would starve myself for years, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, believing every girl had a better body and face than me. Everywhere I went, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. It carried into my teenage years, and I still have this problem to this day as an adult. This problem has never left me alone.

I have been thinking of this guy for years now. I haven’t seen him in years and haven’t had contact in years. We hardly knew each other, and nothing happened between us only that we knew each other’s names and had one conversation. Other than that, we never spoke or saw each other, but still, to this day, he’s always in my thoughts. For five years, whatever I do to stop thoughts of him, it won’t work. I don’t know why I am dealing with this; I can’t stop it. I didn’t know him; we were never friends and never dated, so I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been comparing myself to his girlfriend he is currently with for years, always checking her social media.

I don’t know my personality or who I am. I know I am kind, helpful, supportive, and I know my interests, but that's it.

I struggle to find motivation for anything and tend to procrastinate a lot. This has been my daily routine for years now.

I copy every girl's personality, clothing style, appearance, and trends.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more pretty than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, body, personality, and life.

I often find myself feeling jealous and a bit down when I see the friendships and relationship that other girls have.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone, and I always remember people from my past in my thoughts.

I deal with nostalgia and euphoria in my body; I feel it to the extreme, along with sadness and fatigue out of nowhere every day.

I never believe anyone truly likes me or loves me i always think people fake it.

It is so difficult to deal with the constant overthinking in my mind every day, all day. I never get a rest from my own mind my whole life. I live inside my own mind more than in reality.

My whole life, I have hated my face and body since childhood. It started in childhood; I would starve myself for years, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, believing every girl had a better body and face than me. Everywhere I went, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. It carried into my teenage years, and I still have this problem to this day as an adult. This problem has never left me alone.

I have been thinking of this guy for years now. I haven’t seen him in years and haven’t had contact in years. We hardly knew each other, and nothing happened between us only that we knew each other’s names and had one conversation. Other than that, we never spoke or saw each other, but still, to this day, he’s always in my thoughts. For five years, whatever I do to stop thoughts of him, it won’t work. I don’t know why I am dealing with this; I can’t stop it. I didn’t know him; we were never friends and never dated, so I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been comparing myself to his girlfriend he is currently with for years, always checking her social media.

I don’t know my personality or who I am. I know I am kind, helpful, supportive, and I know my interests, but that's it.

I struggle to find motivation for anything and tend to procrastinate a lot. This has been my daily routine for years now.

I copy every girl's personality, clothing style, appearance, and trends.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more pretty than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, body, personality, and life.

I often find myself feeling jealous and a bit down when I see the friendships and relationship that other girls have.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone, and I always remember people from my past in my thoughts.

I deal with nostalgia and euphoria in my body; I feel it to the extreme, along with sadness out of nowhere every day.

I never believe anyone truly likes me or loves me i always think people fake it.

People say this may be bpd or is it something completely different?

It is so difficult to deal with the constant overthinking in my mind everyday all day. I never get a rest from my own mind my whole life.

My whole life, I have hated my face and body since childhood. It started in childhood; I would starve myself for years, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, believing every girl had a better body and face than me. Everywhere I went, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. It carried into my teenage years, and I still have this problem to this day as an adult.

I have been thinking of this guy for years now. I haven’t seen him in years and haven’t had contact in years. We hardly knew each other, and nothing happened between us only that we knew each other’s names and had one conversation. Other than that, we never spoke or saw each other, but still, to this day, he’s always in my thoughts. For five years, whatever I do to stop thoughts of him, it won’t work. I don’t know why I am dealing with this; I can’t stop it. I didn’t know him; we were never friends and never dated, so I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been comparing myself to his girlfriend he is currently with for years, always checking her social media.

I don’t know my personality or who I am. I know I am kind, helpful, supportive, and I know my interests, but that's it.

I struggle to find motivation for anything and tend to procrastinate a lot. This has been my daily routine for years now.

I copy every girl's personality, clothing style, appearance, and trends.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more pretty than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, body, personality, and life.

I often find myself feeling jealous and a bit down when I see the friendships and relationship that other girls have.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone, and I always remember people from my past in my thoughts.

I deal with nostalgia and euphoria in my body; I feel it to the extreme, along with sadness and anxiety out of nowhere every day.

I often find it hard to believe that anyone genuinely likes or loves me; I can't shake the feeling that people are just pretending.

I hate myself so much even to this day. My whole life, I have hated my face and body since childhood. It started in childhood; I would starve myself for years, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, believing every girl had a better body and face than me. Everywhere I went, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. It carried into my teenage years, and I still have this problem to this day as an adult. This problem has never left me alone.

I have been thinking of this guy for years now. I haven’t seen him in years and haven’t had contact in years. We hardly knew each other, and nothing happened between us only that we knew each other’s names and had one conversation. Other than that, we never spoke or saw each other, but still, to this day, he’s always in my thoughts. For five years, whatever I do to stop thoughts of him, it won’t work. I don’t know why I am dealing with this; I can’t stop it. I didn’t know him; we were never friends and never dated, so I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been comparing myself to his girlfriend he is currently with for years, always checking her social media.

I don’t know my personality or who I am. I know I am kind, helpful, supportive, and I know my interests, but that's it.

I struggle to find motivation for anything and tend to procrastinate a lot. This has been my daily routine for years now.

I copy every girl's personality, clothing style, appearance, and trends.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more blessed than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, personality, and life.

I often find myself feeling jealous and a bit down when I see the friendships and relationship that other girls have.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone, and I always remember people from my past in my thoughts.

I deal with nostalgia and euphoria in my body; I feel it to the extreme, along with sadness out of nowhere every day.

My whole life, I have hated my face and body since childhood. It started in childhood; I would starve myself for years, thinking I’d be more accepted by others, believing every girl had a better body and face than me. Everywhere I went, I constantly compared myself to every single girl around me, their face and body, all day, every day. It carried into my teenage years, and I still have this problem to this day as an adult. This problem has never left me alone.

I have been thinking of this guy for years now. I haven’t seen him in years and haven’t had contact in years. We hardly knew each other, and nothing happened between us only that we knew each other’s names and had one conversation. Other than that, we never spoke or saw each other, but still, to this day, he’s always in my thoughts. For five years, whatever I do to stop thoughts of him, it won’t work. I don’t know why I am dealing with this; I can’t stop it. I didn’t know him; we were never friends and never dated, so I don’t know why this is happening. I’ve been comparing myself to his girlfriend he is currently with for years, always checking her social media.

I don’t know my personality or who I am. I know I am kind, helpful, supportive, and I know my interests, but that's it.

I struggle to find motivation for anything and tend to procrastinate a lot. This has been my daily routine for years now.

I copy every girl's personality, clothing style, appearance, and trends.

I think every single girl is better than I am, more pretty than I am, and has a better life than I do.

I wish I had another girl's face, body, personality, and life.

I often find myself feeling jealous and a bit down when I see the friendships and relationship that other girls have.

I always have constant flashbacks of my past from years ago. I can’t stop picturing my past every day; it haunts me, never leaving me alone, and I always remember people from my past in my thoughts.

I deal with nostalgia and euphoria in my body; I feel it to the extreme, along with sadness and fatigue out of nowhere every day.

I never believe anyone truly likes me or loves me i always think people fake it.

It is so difficult to deal with the constant overthinking in my mind every day, all day. I never get a rest from my own mind my whole life. I live inside my own mind more than in reality.