u/Downtown-Ad9409

I’m not even sure why I’m posting this, maybe to get dogpiled by the masses so I really hang myself from the rafters, but I (36f) threw foam blocks at my 2 year olds face during a blind rage.
Its just been me and her all weekend as her dad is away for work, it’s been so tough.. this evening I was trying to tidy and she was just having meltdowns at everything I was trying to touch, I snapped and started throwing blocks. One bounced off her face, knocked her dummy out and yet like the crazed monster I am I kept going, probably about 5 more, only one more made contact and bounced off her head. She’s crying during all this ofc.
I calmed down and comforted her, apologised again and again, kisses and cuddles etc but Jesus wept, I need to be in a fucking institute or jail cell.
I am weeping typing this. I don’t know what’s gone so wrong. I was on setraline for just over a year, I weaned off them in January and I thought I would be ok without them, I really want to be ok without them but my god, I do not deserve a child. I am a monster.

Since having my baby who just turned 2, I feel like I call in to take a day off work at least once a month to look after her for random illnesses etc.
Before her I had almost a perfect record for attendance. Obviously needs must, but I feel like work is becoming impatient with me constantly taking days off here and there.
What sort of track record are you guys running?

We were on our way out earlier, taking both the cars as we were picking up family.
Whilst loading the baby into the back of my car, my key fell out my pocket and seemingly disappeared into thin air.
Whilst tearing the car upside down and all around trying to find it he didn’t really do anything to help except stand there giving off the most foul energy with looks to go with it, peppered with the occasional “how could you lose your car key?!!”, “where was it? Can you just retrace your steps?” And all the huffs and puffs you could imagine.
Would you believe they’d fallen out my pocket into the pocket that sits at the rear of the passenger seat. Any normal couple this would have been a helpful hunt together, and then probably laughed at where they’d ended up. Instead I found myself being literally punished for the sheer human error of my keys falling out my pocket. It soured my day completely with my family and I hate that I let it ruin everything

I got told I was rude the other day as I always interject and interrupt peoples sentences. I’ve just caught myself doing it again on the phone and I feel so ashamed. I just get so excited I have to jump in or I feel like the thought will disappear if I don’t say it straight away. I mean it IS rude, but it isn’t my intention… any tips on how to stop the impulse, control myself, realise what is happening and be able to stop myself?