u/DreamerWerter

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For two years, I've been limerent toward a girl who was already in a relationship. It made me feel like a fucking crazy person, like there was something seriously wrong with me. It was torture. I’ve lost count of how many times I cried myself to sleep at night with my heart absolutely aching.

For a while now, the intrusive thoughts about her have been coming up less and less often. But here’s the catch: I feel like thoughts about another girl have started creeping into my head more and more. She’s very beautiful, by the way, and, to make matters worse, she’s a lesbian.

What can I actually do to stop these thoughts from developing into another full-blown limerence cycle before I get emotionally attached again?

Seeing her getting kissed by her boyfriend. Imagining things. Knowing that she is receiving love but also giving. I want to give her my love, I'm sure that I'm able to do that. She's just like an angel. Never seen more beautiful face. My sick mind is blocking me being interested in other girls. I just need her in my life. This is hell. Can't go no contact. She is on my mind 24/7. I'm posting this while sitting in the office.

I wake up - she is the first thought

At job - she is on my mind

Falling asleep - she is my last thought

I can't live like that anymore.

As long as I can remember, fun parties have always ended with me falling into a deep depressive state for the next few days. I’m aware that this is my brain adapting to changes in dopamine levels. It’s somewhat similar to the cycle of addiction to drugs... you’re high, and at some point the dose wears off and you’re left going through withdrawal. I feel terrible because I know that if I have a great time at a party on Saturday, I’ll be holding back tears until Wednesday. It’s incredible how drastic an emotional shift can happen in such a short amount of time.

At the party: “Wow, this is amazing. People like me. Life is great.”

The next day: “I’m so lonely. Am I even worthy of being loved?”

As long as I can remember, fun parties have always ended with me falling into a deep depressive state for the next few days. I’m aware that this is my brain adapting to changes in dopamine levels. It’s somewhat similar to the cycle of addiction to drugs... you’re high, and at some point the dose wears off and you’re left going through withdrawal. I feel terrible because I know that if I have a great time at a party on Saturday, I’ll be holding back tears until Wednesday. It’s incredible how drastic an emotional shift can happen in such a short amount of time.

At the party: “Wow, this is amazing. People like me. Life is great.”

The next day: “I’m so lonely. Am I even worthy of being loved?”

I've known her for two years. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's in a relationship, unfortunately. Every moment I spend with her is a huge boost of dopamine (I'm diagnosed with ADHD), but the moment we're apart feels like a bullet through my heart. I can fully understand that there's no chance of us being together in the future, but I'm not able to fight my emotions.

The worst part is that I can't go no-contact because then I'd probably have to avoid many of our mutual friends. I spent many years isolated, and I don't want to go back to that part of my life. It's hell. I'm in pain. She's on my mind every minute of every day. Sometimes it makes me feel kind of suicidal. I really have no hope at all.

I'm not able to look at other girls and think, "Oh, maybe I'll try something with this person." No. My sick brain won't let me do that. I just feel like I need this one girl in my life to be happy.

I feel like a weirdo. Like I said, I can fully rationalize most of these things, but I can't make myself feel any differently.

Just got bailed out by my dad.....7000$. I self-excluded myself from gambling apps, my dad has logins and passwords to my bank accounts. I don't have any money for therapy, now I don't feel any craving but still I'm afraid. How can I help myself more to stay away from this shit? Also, even if my parents forgave me, I don't know how to forgive myself. The sense of shame and guilt is so devastating. I want to get better, start living as a mentally healthy person, but I really don't know what to do.

I'm 26, living with my parents. I have a low paid job. All my life I was having emotional problems and intrusive thoughts. Also, I was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. I started gambling and betting sports. All the time I knew it was wrong but I just couldn't stop. I lost all my money and currently I'm in debt which is 27000 polish zlotys (7400$). My parents are currently on vacation and I'm planning to tell them about it and ask for help next week. I also wrote a payment plan which will show them that I'm willing to give it back to them. I'm so afraid. I love them so much, I've never wanted to hurt them. I'm sure they will help me but still it's terrifying. I don't know how to start, I'm afraid it will break their hearts and I will live with the sense of shame till the day I die.