u/Dwestmor1007

So I, personally, have ADHD. I have NEVER been the "good house wife" perfectly clean kind of person. In fact, during some dark periods in my life, you might have said my living space qualified as a safety hazard. I have tried OVER AND OVER AGAIN to LEARN how to clean because my mom did everything for us going up until it was FAR too late to instill it. I never wanted to make that mistake with our daughter but no matter how hard I tried I could NOT improve. And my house began to show it BIG TIME when my kid reached the "toddler who dumps everything on the floor stage" and she REFUSED to clean up after herself so I just did it and made a half-hearted attempt to have her help. It never worked. Then, one day I saw my kid take the wrapper off a string cheese, look at it, and then throw it over her shoulder onto the ground. I thought....oh hell no...I am SERIOUSLY fucking this up. I KNEW she cleaned up at school so what was the problem? I decided then and THERE to change things.

After I implemented this plan, my child (and I honestly tips for THAT after the kid tips! ) now not only cleans up her toys EVERY TIME she even: Cleans her room, makes her bed, and washes her own dishes!!!

Here are the things I did to help the TODDLER get better:
1.) I COMPLETELY cleaned and organized her toys placing items into bins and shelves. (IMPORTANT WE USED CLEAR PLASTIC CONTAINERS THIS IS VITAL everything went onto a shelf or in a CLEAR Bin).
2.) I made SURE that EACH AND EVERY ITEM had its OWN INDIVIDUAL STORAGE spot ALONE in a bin/shelf. I started on my own with the toys I knew she loved/used every day. Then, when I started to run out of room I had her watch the "Monkey Jocks" episode of Bluey (Season 2 Episode 37) where the main characters give up toys they don't use to help other kids and it's pretty heartfelt. She and I then paired down the toys till everything fit.
3.) I took a picture of the CONTENTS of each bin, and what the bin looked like IN PLACE. The CONTENTS picture went on the outside/front of the bin with simplified word descriptors to work on our reading as we go. The IN PLACE pictures went on the SHELVES themselves so that if a bin is taken out and emptied (or more likely MULTIPLE BINS given how she plays) she can figure out what goes into each bin and then where the bin goes/what goes on that shelf. I used printable sticky glossy photo paper I go for like $6 a pack at Walmart (Note it took 2 packs for ALL of her shiz cause there is only 10 pages in a pack).

All of this cleaning and organizing and labeling took me about 3 solid days of work straight I am not gonna lie to you but MY GOD was it worth it!

4.)Then what I did was dump out two easy to understand labeled bins that were located near each other and picked one up and asked her "what goes in THIS BIN" and had her sort the toys. Then I showed her the shelves/places and asked her which bin goes where. We then talked about the importance of cleaning up your own mess!

5.) At FIRST I had to be ON HER EVERY TIME she switched toys I made her pick up the old one. At first she didn't mind because she had been seeing ME do all this cleaning so she was already helping out more and "wanted to be like mommy" but after day two it got old fast. We had to sing the "Mess Song" I made up years ago when she was little. It is sung to the tune of "if you are happy and you know it" it goes:
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess, just try to do your best.
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!

Where I make HER sing the "clean it up" part after she learned the song. I pause until SHE says/yells CLEAN IT UP(she fricking LOVES it but your kid may need a different motivator).

When that stopped worked the deal became: no new toys, no games/playing with parents, and no TV until she picked it up. No arguing no fussing but I held HARD to the rule. She didn't LOVE it at first but now I hardly EVER have to use this tactic. The first difficult day took a LOT of tears to get 100% right but I held firm and it was NEVER so hard ever again so if that happens just PUSH THROUGH I PROMISE they will get it if you hold firm. If she picked up a toy I would take it out of her hand, place it out of reach, and repeat the rule.

It has now gotten to the point that even though *I forgot to remind her to clean up/stay on her yesterday, when we walked in the door to the house today and she saw the mess in the living room (where her toys are), she said "man...we need to clean this mess up" with her little hands on her hips (note:it was VERY cute lol), and then cleaned up her mess.

And, Finally for the toys, the rule is: Mom/dad does NOT start helping/cleaning until YOU DO and we only do as much as SHE does so if she puts two puzzle pieces up WE put two up FOR her. As she gets older we will obviously phase this support out (gently at first such as she has to pick up 4 to our 2 and then 6 to 2 etc.) but these messes can be over whelming for a 3 year old!

6.) For the making the bed and washing her dishes I started by having her help ME do them as I went through my OWN cleaning journey and then asking her to place her dishes in the sink. Then help me wash the dishes with her washing her own till I felt comfortable letting her doing it alone and then started prompting her to do it and now she does it on her own (but TBF she has LOVED playing in water for years so this wasn't too difficult now it's just an issue keeping her from doing ALL the dishes and going to far too fast and parentifying her). And did the same with making her bed.

Now for how I fixed MYSELF

First, honestly the best thing I did for my daughter learning to clean up was start doing it MYSELF actively in front of her and POINTING OUT what I was doing. Kids that age and up till about the teen years LOVE to emulate their caregivers (it's why "baby/house" play is so popular with young kids).

As for what I did to CHANGE MYSELF.:

1.) I started just after I got my meds so that if I forgot to get my meds or screw that up (frequent occurrence) I would have had an entire month of "pattern making" to help when I didn't have it.
2.) I set an "If then..." cleaning schedule. As in, "if it is 7:00pm (or the closest arrivals time if we are Out of the House at 7:00 pm) THEN, I will clean the house for 15 minutes.".
3.) Then, I made sure I STUCK WITH IT for the first two weeks. I set an alarm with a ROTATING RINGER (Important to keep yourself from just learning to IGNORE the alarm) for 7:00 each night for the first two weeks. I set the alarm on the bedroom clock AND my phone. NO MATTER WHAT I was doing or how I was feeling at the moment (a frequent excuse I used to use due to SEVERAL chronic illnesses that flair up occasionally) I FORCED myself to do it (and for DD DH to help it's a family thing) to catch anything we missed "cleaning up after ourselves".
4.) We try our BEST to clean up after ourselves EVERYTIME just like we expect DD to do. This modeling has been INVALUABLE. If we made mistakes we made sure to point them out to DD and say "oopsie Mommy/Daddy forgot to clean up our...." "it's okay we all make mistakes I'll get it now that I've noticed!"
5.) This one is a bit much as well but I went a bit "label and everything has a place" crazy after I finished the living room and did our: Bedroom, Bathroom, and Kitchen as well which has, honestly, helped ME not just put things places. When everything has a place, I have no excuse to just LEAVE it where it lies. And to be transparent this part took me about a week/week and a half of 8-10 hr days with the baby with a carer! (I am a teacher on summer break so this may take longer for working parents!) I didn't put pictures, but, everything has a place, AND a Canva Template Label printed and placed on the bins/the outside of the drawers. I ordered a bulk drawer organizing set off of Amazon for like $20 and it did my whole house.
6.) I ALSO changed the LABEL per drawer/area for the bedroom. That way, if a bin ended up outside of its place we would know where it goes but I REFUSED to do this in the PUBLIC areas of the house and instead I: a.) Picked one style for each room. B.) Made a "Master List" Excel Spreadsheet for each room in case something gets misplaced/lost its home.

Eventually, when I finished, I just felt like with all this effort and time I have spent doing and implementing this (about a month TOTAL for organizing/labeling/purging/Training the toddler, I just COULD NOT go back. I was honestly a little obsessive at first but have relaxed a little.

So far, it has been almost 2 months and while we aren't PERFECT (see yesterday: not for nothing I forgot to refill my meds and was without the last two days lol), my house is clean 95% of the time for the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

If you have any questions about the method I used to do something or what products I went with, just ASK. I TRULY HOPE that this post makes a difference in SOMEONE else life. Doesn't have to change everything for everyone but if ONE FAMILY is helped I will be EXTREMELY happy!

Edit to add a couple tips:
1.) cover the pictures with clear contact paper to ensure durability
2.) for personal motivation I find to do lists helpful cause I get a hit of dopamine when I check something off so what I do it make HYPER SPECIFIC to do lists for things I REALLY don't feel like doing so I get more frequent hits of that sweet sweet dopamine. So instead of "clean the dresser" my list would include things like: Clear the top of dresser, empty top left drawer, re-fold clothes top left drawer, vacuum out top left drawer, wipe out inside of TLD, Wipe the OUTSIDE of the TLD, etc. and so on and so forth.

Hope these tips help!

My parents used to own a VERY possibly world-record level old chihuahua (it was born in their home so it was definitely older than the current record holder for SURE but there wasn't really any proof but she had it beat by about 7 years iirc) that always sucked with potting in the house but became much worse as she aged. When I moved out about 15 years ago she took up residence in my old room and it basically became her bathroom about 70% of the time. Fast forward and due to flagging health of a parent we have had to move back in. The room is all that's left for my daughter to use but she HATES being in there because it REEKS of urine. I have steam cleaned those carpets no less than a dozen times but it didn't help. We unfortunately can't afford to replace the carpet because of the financial strain of one of us quitting our job to sit with my dad. Any suggestions to even make it BETTER would be GREATLY appreciated.

How I FINALLY mastered cleaning and taught my 3YO to clean up as well!

So I, personally, have ADHD. I have NEVER been the "good house wife" perfectly clean kind of person. In fact, during some dark periods in my life, you might have said my living space qualified as a safety hazard. I have tried OVER AND OVER AGAIN to LEARN how to clean because my mom did everything for us going up until it was FAR too late to instill it. I never wanted to make that mistake with our daughter but no matter how hard I tried I could NOT improve. And my house began to show it BIG TIME when my kid reached the "toddler who dumps everything on the floor stage" and she REFUSED to clean up after herself so I just did it and made a half-hearted attempt to have her help. It never worked. Then, one day I saw my kid take the wrapper off a string cheese, look at it, and then throw it over her shoulder onto the ground. I thought....oh hell no...I am SERIOUSLY fu\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*ing this up. I KNEW she cleaned up at school so what was the problem? I decided then and THERE to change things.

**After I implemented this plan, my child (and I honestly tips for THAT after the kid tips! ) now not only cleans up her toys EVERY TIME she even: Cleans her room, makes her bed, and washes her own dishes!!!**

Here are the things I did to help the TODDLER get better:
1.) I COMPLETELY cleaned and organized her toys placing items into bins and shelves. (IMPORTANT WE USED CLEAR PLASTIC CONTAINERS THIS IS VITAL everything went onto a shelf or in a CLEAR Bin).
2.) I made SURE that EACH AND EVERY ITEM had its OWN INDIVIDUAL STORAGE spot ALONE in a bin/shelf. I started on my own with the toys I knew she loved/used every day. Then, when I started to run out of room I had her watch the "Monkey Jocks" episode of Bluey (Season 2 Episode 37) where the main characters give up toys they don't use to help other kids and it's pretty heartfelt. She and I then paired down the toys till everything fit.
3.) I took a picture of the CONTENTS of each bin, and what the bin looked like IN PLACE. The CONTENTS picture went on the outside/front of the bin with simplified word descriptors to work on our reading as we go. The IN PLACE pictures went on the SHELVES themselves so that if a bin is taken out and emptied (or more likely MULTIPLE BINS given how she plays) she can figure out what goes into each bin and then where the bin goes/what goes on that shelf. I used printable sticky glossy photo paper I go for like $6 a pack at Walmart (Note it took 2 packs for ALL of her shiz cause there is only 10 pages in a pack).

All of this cleaning and organizing and labeling took me about 3 solid days of work straight I am not gonna lie to you but MY GOD was it worth it!

4.)Then what I did was dump out two easy to understand labeled bins that were located near each other and picked one up and asked her "what goes in THIS BIN" and had her sort the toys. Then I showed her the shelves/places and asked her which bin goes where. We then talked about the importance of cleaning up your own mess!

5.) At FIRST I had to be ON HER EVERY TIME she switched toys I made her pick up the old one. At first she didn't mind because she had been seeing ME do all this cleaning so she was already helping out more and "wanted to be like mommy" but after day two it got old fast. We had to sing the "Mess Song" I made up years ago when she was little. It is sung to the tune of "if you are happy and you know it" it goes:
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess, just try to do your best.
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!

Where I make HER sing the "clean it up" part after she learned the song. I pause until SHE says/yells CLEAN IT UP(she fricking LOVES it but your kid may need a different motivator).

When that stopped worked the deal became: no new toys, no games/playing with parents, and no TV until she picked it up. No arguing no fussing but I held HARD to the rule. She didn't LOVE it at first but now I hardly EVER have to use this tactic. The first difficult day took a LOT of tears to get 100% right but I held firm and it was NEVER so hard ever again so if that happens just PUSH THROUGH I PROMISE they will get it if you hold firm. If she picked up a toy I would take it out of her hand, place it out of reach, and repeat the rule.

It has now gotten to the point that even though \\\\\\\*I forgot to remind her to clean up/stay on her yesterday when we walked in the door to the house today she saw the living room (where her toys are) she said "man...we need to clean this mess up" with her little hands on her hips (note:it was VERY cute lol), and then cleaned up her mess.

And, Finally for the toys, the rule is: Mom/dad does NOT start helping/cleaning until YOU DO and we only do as much as SHE does so if she puts two puzzle pieces up WE put two up FOR her. As she gets older we will obviously phase this support out (gently at first such as she has to pick up 4 to our 2 and then 6 to 2 etc.) but these messes can be over whelming for a 3 year old!

6.) For the making the bed and washing her dishes I started by having her help ME do them as I went through my OWN cleaning journey and then asking her to place her dishes in the sink. Then help me wash the dishes with her washing her own till I felt comfortable letting her doing it alone and then started prompting her to do it and now she does it on her own (but TBF she has LOVED playing in water for years so this wasn't too difficult now it's just an issue keeping her from doing ALL the dishes and going to far too fast and parentifying her). And did the same with making her bed.

**Now for how I fixed MYSELF**

First, honestly the best thing I did for my daughter learning to clean up was start doing it MYSELF actively in front of her and POINTING OUT what I was doing. Kids that age and up till about the teen years LOVE to emulate their caregivers (it's why "baby/house" play is so popular with young kids).

As for what I did to CHANGE MYSELF.:

1.) I started just after I got my meds so that if I forgot to get my meds or screw that up (frequent occurrence) I would have had an entire month of "pattern making" to help when I didn't have it.
2.) I set an "If then..." cleaning schedule. As in, "if it is 7:00pm (or the closest arrivals time if we are Out of the House at 7:00 pm) THEN, I will clean the house for 15 minutes.".
3.) Then, I made sure I STUCK WITH IT for the first two weeks. I set an alarm with a ROTATING RINGER (Important to keep yourself from just learning to IGNORE the alarm) for 7:00 each night for the first two weeks. I set the alarm on the bedroom clock AND my phone. NO MATTER WHAT I was doing or how I was feeling at the moment (a frequent excuse I used to use due to SEVERAL chronic illnesses that flair up occasionally) I FORCED myself to do it (and for DD DH to help it's a family thing) to catch anything we missed "cleaning up after ourselves".
4.) We try our BEST to clean up after ourselves EVERYTIME just like we expect DD to do. This modeling has been INVALUABLE. If we made mistakes we made sure to point them out to DD and say "oopsie Mommy/Daddy forgot to clean up our...." "it's okay we all make mistakes I'll get it now that I've noticed!"
5.) This one is a bit much as well but I went a bit "label and everything has a place" crazy after I finished the living room and did our: Bedroom, Bathroom, and Kitchen as well which has, honestly, helped ME not just put things places. When everything has a place, I have no excuse to just LEAVE it where it lies. And to be transparent this part took me about a week/week and a half of 8-10 hr days with the baby with a carer! (I am a teacher on summer break so this may take longer for working parents!) I didn't put pictures, but, everything has a place, AND a Canva Template Label printed and placed on the bins/the outside of the drawers. I ordered a bulk drawer organizing set off of Amazon for like $20 and it did my whole house.
6.) I ALSO changed the LABEL per drawer/area for the bedroom. That way, if a bin ended up outside of its place we would know where it goes but I REFUSED to do this in the PUBLIC areas of the house and instead I: a.) Picked one style for each room. B.) Made a "Master List" Excel Spreadsheet for each room in case something gets misplaced/lost its home.

Eventually, when I finished, I just felt like with all this effort and time I have spent doing and implementing this (about a month TOTAL for organizing/labeling/purging/Training the toddler, I just COULD NOT go back. I was honestly a little obsessive at first but have relaxed a little.

So far, it has been almost 2 months and while we aren't PERFECT (see yesterday: not for nothing I forgot to refill my meds and was without the last two days lol), my house is clean 95% of the time for the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

If you have any questions about the method I used to do something or what products I went with, just ASK. I TRULY HOPE that this post makes a difference in SOMEONE else life. Doesn't have to change everything for everyone but if ONE FAMILY is helped I will be EXTREMELY happy!

So I, personally, have ADHD. I have NEVER been the "good house wife" perfectly clean kind of person. In fact, during some dark periods in my life, you might have said my living space qualified as a safety hazard. I have tried OVER AND OVER AGAIN to LEARN how to clean because my mom did everything for us going up until it was FAR too late to instill it. I never wanted to make that mistake with our daughter but no matter how hard I tried I could NOT improve. And my house began to show it BIG TIME when my kid reached the "toddler who dumps everything on the floor stage" and she REFUSED to clean up after herself so I just did it and made a half-hearted attempt to have her help. It never worked. Then, one day I saw my kid take the wrapper off a string cheese, look at it, and then throw it over her shoulder onto the ground. I thought....oh hell no...I am SERIOUSLY fu\\\*\\\*ing this up. I KNEW she cleaned up at school so what was the problem? I decided then and THERE to change things.

After I implemented this plan, my child and I* (and I honestly tips for THAT after the kid tips! ) now not only cleans up her toys EVERY TIME she even: Cleans her room, makes her bed, and washes her own dishes!!!

Here are the things I did to help the TODDLER get better:
1.) I COMPLETELY cleaned and organized her toys placing items into bins and shelves. (IMPORTANT WE USED CLEAR PLASTIC CONTAINERS THIS IS VITAL everything went onto a shelf or in a CLEAR Bin).
2.) I made SURE that EACH AND EVERY ITEM had its OWN INDIVIDUAL STORAGE spot ALONE in a bin/shelf. I started on my own with the toys I knew she loved/used every day. Then, when I started to run out of room I had her watch the "Monkey Jocks" episode of Bluey (Season 2 Episode 37) where the main characters give up toys they don't use to help other kids and it's pretty heartfelt. She and I then paired down the toys till everything fit.
3.) I took a picture of the CONTENTS of each bin, and what the bin looked like IN PLACE. The CONTENTS picture went on the outside/front of the bin with simplified word descriptors to work on our reading as we go. The IN PLACE pictures went on the SHELVES themselves so that if a bin is taken out and emptied (or more likely MULTIPLE BINS given how she plays) she can figure out what goes into each bin and then where the bin goes/what goes on that shelf. I used printable sticky glossy photo paper I go for like $6 a pack at Walmart (Note it took 2 packs for ALL of her shiz cause there is only 10 pages in a pack).

All of this cleaning and organizing and labeling took me about 3 solid days of work straight I am not gonna lie to you but MY GOD was it worth it!

4.)Then what I did was dump out two easy to understand labeled bins that were located near each other and picked one up and asked her "what goes in THIS BIN" and had her sort the toys. Then I showed her the shelves/places and asked her which bin goes where. We then talked about the importance of cleaning up your own mess!

5.) At FIRST I had to be ON HER EVERY TIME she switched toys I made her pick up the old one. At first she didn't mind because she had been seeing ME do all this cleaning so she was already helping out more and "wanted to be like mommy" but after day two it got old fast. We had to sing the "Mess Song" I made up years ago when she was little. It is sung to the tune of "if you are happy and you know it" it goes:
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess, just try to do your best.
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!

Where I make HER sing the "clean it up" part after she learned the song. I pause until SHE says/yells CLEAN IT UP(she fricking LOVES it but your kid may need a different motivator).

When that stopped worked the deal became: no new toys, no games/playing with parents, and no TV until she picked it up. No arguing no fussing but I held HARD to the rule. She didn't LOVE it at first but now I hardly EVER have to use this tactic. The first difficult day took a LOT of tears to get 100% right but I held firm and it was NEVER so hard ever again so if that happens just PUSH THROUGH I PROMISE they will get it if you hold firm. If she picked up a toy I would take it out of her hand, place it out of reach, and repeat the rule.

It has now gotten to the point that even though \\\*I forgot to remind her to clean up/stay on her yesterday when we walked in the door to the house today she saw the living room (where her toys are) she said "man...we need to clean this mess up" with her little hands on her hips (note:it was VERY cute lol), and then cleaned up her mess.

And, Finally for the toys, the rule is: Mom/dad does NOT start helping/cleaning until YOU DO and we only do as much as SHE does so if she puts two puzzle pieces up WE put two up FOR her. As she gets older we will obviously phase this support out (gently at first such as she has to pick up 4 to our 2 and then 6 to 2 etc.) but these messes can be over whelming for a 3 year old!

6.) For the making the bed and washing her dishes I started by having her help ME do them as I went through my OWN cleaning journey and then asking her to place her dishes in the sink. Then help me wash the dishes with her washing her own till I felt comfortable letting her doing it alone and then started prompting her to do it and now she does it on her own (but TBF she has LOVED playing in water for years so this wasn't too difficult now it's just an issue keeping her from doing ALL the dishes and going to far too fast and parentifying her). And did the same with making her bed.

Now for how I fixed MYSELF

First, honestly the best thing I did for my daughter learning to clean up was start doing it MYSELF actively in front of her and POINTING OUT what I was doing. Kids that age and up till about the teen years LOVE to emulate their caregivers (it's why "baby/house" play is so popular with young kids).

As for what I did to CHANGE MYSELF.:

1.) I started just after I got my meds so that if I forgot to get my meds or screw that up (frequent occurrence) I would have had an entire month of "pattern making" to help when I didn't have it.
2.) I set an "If then..." cleaning schedule. As in, "if it is 7:00pm (or the closest arrivals time if we are Out of the House at 7:00 pm) THEN, I will clean the house for 15 minutes.".
3.) Then, I made sure I STUCK WITH IT for the first two weeks. I set an alarm with a ROTATING RINGER (Important to keep yourself from just learning to IGNORE the alarm) for 7:00 each night for the first two weeks. I set the alarm on the bedroom clock AND my phone. NO MATTER WHAT I was doing or how I was feeling at the moment (a frequent excuse I used to use due to SEVERAL chronic illnesses that flair up occasionally) I FORCED myself to do it (and for DD DH to help it's a family thing) to catch anything we missed "cleaning up after ourselves".
4.) We try our BEST to clean up after ourselves EVERYTIME just like we expect DD to do. This modeling has been INVALUABLE. If we made mistakes we made sure to point them out to DD and say "oopsie Mommy/Daddy forgot to clean up our...." "it's okay we all make mistakes I'll get it now that I've noticed!"
5.) This one is a bit much as well but I went a bit "label and everything has a place" crazy after I finished the living room and did our: Bedroom, Bathroom, and Kitchen as well which has, honestly, helped ME not just put things places. When everything has a place, I have no excuse to just LEAVE it where it lies. And to be transparent this part took me about a week/week and a half of 8-10 hr days with the baby with a carer! (I am a teacher on summer break so this may take longer for working parents!) I didn't put pictures, but, everything has a place, AND a Canva Template Label printed and placed on the bins/the outside of the drawers. I ordered a bulk drawer organizing set off of Amazon for like $20 and it did my whole house.
6.) I ALSO changed the LABEL per drawer/area for the bedroom. That way, if a bin ended up outside of its place we would know where it goes but I REFUSED to do this in the PUBLIC areas of the house and instead I: a.) Picked one style for each room. B.) Made a "Master List" Excel Spreadsheet for each room in case something gets misplaced/lost its home.

Eventually, when I finished, I just felt like with all this effort and time I have spent doing and implementing this (about a month TOTAL for organizing/labeling/purging/Training the toddler, I just COULD NOT go back. I was honestly a little obsessive at first but have relaxed a little.

So far, it has been almost 2 months and while we aren't PERFECT (see yesterday: not for nothing I forgot to refill my meds and was without the last two days lol), my house is clean 95% of the time for the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

If you have any questions about the method I used to do something or what products I went with, just ASK. I TRULY HOPE that this post makes a difference in SOMEONE else life. Doesn't have to change everything for everyone but if ONE FAMILY is helped I will be EXTREMELY happy!

So I, personally, have ADHD. I have NEVER been the "good house wife" perfectly clean kind of person. In fact, during some dark periods in my life, you might have said my living space qualified as a safety hazard. I have tried OVER AND OVER AGAIN to LEARN how to clean because my mom did everything for us going up until it was FAR too late to instill it. I never wanted to make that mistake with our daughter but no matter how hard I tried I could NOT improve. And my house began to show it BIG TIME when my kid reached the "toddler who dumps everything on the floor stage" and she REFUSED to clean up after herself so I just did it and made a half-hearted attempt to have her help. It never worked. Then, one day I saw my kid take the wrapper off a string cheese, look at it, and then throw it over her shoulder onto the ground. I thought....oh hell no...I am SERIOUSLY fu\*\*ing this up. I KNEW she cleaned up at school so what was the problem? I decided then and THERE to change things.

**After I implemented this plan, my child (and I honestly tips for THAT after the kid tips! ) now not only cleans up her toys EVERY TIME she even: Cleans her room, makes her bed, and washes her own dishes!!!**

Here are the things I did to help the TODDLER get better:
1.) I COMPLETELY cleaned and organized her toys placing items into bins and shelves. (IMPORTANT WE USED CLEAR PLASTIC CONTAINERS THIS IS VITAL everything went onto a shelf or in a CLEAR Bin).
2.) I made SURE that EACH AND EVERY ITEM had its OWN INDIVIDUAL STORAGE spot ALONE in a bin/shelf. I started on my own with the toys I knew she loved/used every day. Then, when I started to run out of room I had her watch the "Monkey Jocks" episode of Bluey (Season 2 Episode 37) where the main characters give up toys they don't use to help other kids and it's pretty heartfelt. She and I then paired down the toys till everything fit.
3.) I took a picture of the CONTENTS of each bin, and what the bin looked like IN PLACE. The CONTENTS picture went on the outside/front of the bin with simplified word descriptors to work on our reading as we go. The IN PLACE pictures went on the SHELVES themselves so that if a bin is taken out and emptied (or more likely MULTIPLE BINS given how she plays) she can figure out what goes into each bin and then where the bin goes/what goes on that shelf. I used printable sticky glossy photo paper I go for like $6 a pack at Walmart (Note it took 2 packs for ALL of her shiz cause there is only 10 pages in a pack).

All of this cleaning and organizing and labeling took me about 3 solid days of work straight I am not gonna lie to you but MY GOD was it worth it!

4.)Then what I did was dump out two easy to understand labeled bins that were located near each other and picked one up and asked her "what goes in THIS BIN" and had her sort the toys. Then I showed her the shelves/places and asked her which bin goes where. We then talked about the importance of cleaning up your own mess!

5.) For a LONG TIME I have been singing a song to her that I made up to the tune of "if you are happy and you know it" it goes:
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess, just try to do your best.
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!

5.) At FIRST I had to be ON HER EVERY TIME she switched toys I made her pick up the old one. At first she didn't mind because she had been seeing ME do all this cleaning so she was already helping out more and "wanted to be like mommy" but after day two it got old fast. We had to sing the "Mess Song" I made up years ago when she was little. It is sung to the tune of "if you are happy and you know it" it goes:
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess, just try to do your best.
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!

Where I make HER sing the "clean it up" part after she learned the song. I pause until SHE says/yells CLEAN IT UP(she fricking LOVES it but your kid may need a different motivator).

When that stopped worked the deal became: no new toys, no games/playing with parents, and no TV until she picked it up. No arguing no fussing but I held HARD to the rule. She didn't LOVE it at first but now I hardly EVER have to use this tactic. The first difficult day took a LOT of tears to get 100% right but I held firm and it was NEVER so hard ever again so if that happens just PUSH THROUGH I PROMISE they will get it if you hold firm. If she picked up a toy I would take it out of her hand, place it out of reach, and repeat the rule.

It has now gotten to the point that even though \*I forgot to remind her to clean up/stay on her yesterday when we walked in the door to the house today she saw the living room (where her toys are) she said "man...we need to clean this mess up" with her little hands on her hips (note:it was VERY cute lol), and then cleaned up her mess.

And, Finally for the toys, the rule is: Mom/dad does NOT start helping/cleaning until YOU DO and we only do as much as SHE does so if she puts two puzzle pieces up WE put two up FOR her. As she gets older we will obviously phase this support out (gently at first such as she has to pick up 4 to our 2 and then 6 to 2 etc.) but these messes can be over whelming for a 3 year old!

6.) For the making the bed and washing her dishes I started by having her help ME do them as I went through my OWN cleaning journey and then asking her to place her dishes in the sink. Then help me wash the dishes with her washing her own till I felt comfortable letting her doing it alone and then started prompting her to do it and now she does it on her own (but TBF she has LOVED playing in water for years so this wasn't too difficult now it's just an issue keeping her from doing ALL the dishes and going to far too fast and parentifying her). And did the same with making her bed.

**Now for how I fixed MYSELF**

First, honestly the best thing I did for my daughter learning to clean up was start doing it MYSELF actively in front of her and POINTING OUT what I was doing. Kids that age and up till about the teen years LOVE to emulate their caregivers (it's why "baby/house" play is so popular with young kids).

As for what I did to CHANGE MYSELF.:

1.) I started just after I got my meds so that if I forgot to get my meds or screw that up (frequent occurrence) I would have had an entire month of "pattern making" to help when I didn't have it.
2.) I set an "If then..." cleaning schedule. As in, "if it is 7:00pm (or the closest arrivals time if we are Out of the House at 7:00 pm) THEN, I will clean the house for 15 minutes.".
3.) Then, I made sure I STUCK WITH IT for the first two weeks. I set an alarm with a ROTATING RINGER (Important to keep yourself from just learning to IGNORE the alarm) for 7:00 each night for the first two weeks. I set the alarm on the bedroom clock AND my phone. NO MATTER WHAT I was doing or how I was feeling at the moment (a frequent excuse I used to use due to SEVERAL chronic illnesses that flair up occasionally) I FORCED myself to do it (and for DD DH to help it's a family thing) to catch anything we missed "cleaning up after ourselves".
4.) We try our BEST to clean up after ourselves EVERYTIME just like we expect DD to do. This modeling has been INVALUABLE. If we made mistakes we made sure to point them out to DD and say "oopsie Mommy/Daddy forgot to clean up our...." "it's okay we all make mistakes I'll get it now that I've noticed!"
5.) This one is a bit much as well but I went a bit "label and everything has a place" crazy after I finished the living room and did our: Bedroom, Bathroom, and Kitchen as well which has, honestly, helped ME not just put things places. When everything has a place, I have no excuse to just LEAVE it where it lies. And to be transparent this part took me about a week/week and a half of 8-10 hr days with the baby with a carer! (I am a teacher on summer break so this may take longer for working parents!) I didn't put pictures, but, everything has a place, AND a Canva Template Label printed and placed on the bins/the outside of the drawers. I ordered a bulk drawer organizing set off of Amazon for like $20 and it did my whole house.
6.) I ALSO changed the LABEL per drawer/area for the bedroom. That way, if a bin ended up outside of its place we would know where it goes but I REFUSED to do this in the PUBLIC areas of the house and instead I: a.) Picked one style for each room. B.) Made a "Master List" Excel Spreadsheet for each room in case something gets misplaced/lost its home.

Eventually, when I finished, I just felt like with all this effort and time I have spent doing and implementing this (about a month TOTAL for organizing/labeling/purging/Training the toddler, I just COULD NOT go back. I was honestly a little obsessive at first but have relaxed a little.

So far, it has been almost 2 months and while we aren't PERFECT (see yesterday: not for nothing I forgot to refill my meds and was without the last two days lol), my house is clean 95% of the time for the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

If you have any questions about the method I used to do something or what products I went with, just ASK. I TRULY HOPE that this post makes a difference in SOMEONE else life. Doesn't have to change everything for everyone but if ONE FAMILY is helped I will be EXTREMELY happy!

So I, personally, have ADHD. I have NEVER been the "good house wife" perfectly clean kind of person. In fact, during some dark periods in my life, you might have said my living space qualified as a safety hazard. I have tried OVER AND OVER AGAIN to LEARN how to clean because my mom did everything for us going up until it was FAR too late to instill it. I never wanted to make that mistake with our daughter but no matter how hard I tried I could NOT improve. And my house began to show it BIG TIME when my kid reached the "toddler who dumps everything on the floor stage" and she REFUSED to clean up after herself so I just did it and made a half-hearted attempt to have her help. It never worked. Then, one day I saw my kid take the wrapper off a string cheese, look at it, and then throw it over her shoulder onto the ground. I thought....oh hell no...I am SERIOUSLY fu\*\*ing this up. I KNEW she cleaned up at school so what was the problem? I decided then and THERE to change things.

After I implemented this plan, my child, (and MYSELF honestly, tips for THAT after the kid tips! ) now not only cleans up her toys EVERY TIME she even: Cleans her room, makes her bed, and washes her own dishes!!!

Here are the things I did to help the TODDLER get better:
1.) I COMPLETELY cleaned and organized her toys placing items into bins and shelves. (IMPORTANT WE USED CLEAR PLASTIC CONTAINERS THIS IS VITAL everything went onto a shelf or in a CLEAR Bin).
2.) I made SURE that EACH AND EVERY ITEM had its OWN INDIVIDUAL STORAGE spot ALONE in a bin/shelf. I started on my own with the toys I knew she loved/used every day. Then, when I started to run out of room I had her watch the "Monkey Jocks" episode of Bluey (Season 2 Episode 37) where the main characters give up toys they don't use to help other kids and it's pretty heartfelt. She and I then paired down the toys till everything fit.
3.) I took a picture of the CONTENTS of each bin, and what the bin looked like IN PLACE. The CONTENTS picture went on the outside/front of the bin with simplified word descriptors to work on our reading as we go. The IN PLACE pictures went on the SHELVES themselves so that if a bin is taken out and emptied (or more likely MULTIPLE BINS given how she plays) she can figure out what goes into each bin and then where the bin goes/what goes on that shelf. I used printable sticky glossy photo paper I got for like $6 a pack at Walmart (Note it took 2 packs for ALL of her shiz cause there is only 10 pages in a pack).

All of this cleaning and organizing and labeling took me about 3 straight solid 8-hour days of work, I am not gonna lie to you, but MY GOD was it worth it!

4.)Then what I did was dump out two easy to understand labeled bins that were located near each other and picked one up and asked her "what goes in THIS BIN" and had her sort the toys. Then I showed her the shelves/places and asked her which bin goes where. We then talked about the importance of cleaning up your own mess!

5.) At FIRST I had to be ON HER EVERY TIME she switched toys I made her pick up the old one. At first she didn't mind because she had been seeing ME do all this cleaning so she was already helping out more and "wanted to be like mommy" but after day two it got old fast. We had to sing the "Mess Song" I made up years ago when she was little. It is sung to the tune of "if you are happy and you know it" it goes:
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess, just try to do your best.
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!

Where I make HER sing the "clean it up" part after she learned the song. I pause until SHE says/yells CLEAN IT UP(she fricking LOVES it but your kid may need a different motivator).

When that stopped worked the deal became: no new toys, no games/playing with parents, and no TV until she picked it up. No arguing no fussing but I held HARD to the rule. She didn't LOVE it at first but now I hardly EVER have to use this tactic. The first difficult day took a LOT of tears to get 100% right but I held firm and it was NEVER so hard ever again so if that happens just PUSH THROUGH I PROMISE they will get it if you hold firm. If she picked up a toy I would take it out of her hand, place it out of reach, and repeat the rule.

It has now gotten to the point that even though \*I forgot to remind her to clean up/stay on her yesterday when we walked in the door to the house today she saw the living room (where her toys are) she said "man...we need to clean this mess up" with her little hands on her hips (note:it was VERY cute lol), and then cleaned up her mess.

And, Finally for the toys, the rule is: Mom/dad does NOT start helping/cleaning until YOU DO and we only do as much as SHE does so if she puts two puzzle pieces up WE put two up FOR her. As she gets older we will obviously phase this support out (gently at first such as she has to pick up 4 to our 2 and then 6 to 2 etc.) but these messes can be over whelming for a 3 year old!

6.) For the making the bed and washing her dishes I started by having her help ME do them as I went through my OWN cleaning journey and then asking her to place her dishes in the sink. Then help me wash the dishes with her washing her own till I felt comfortable letting her doing it alone and then started prompting her to do it and now she does it on her own (but TBF she has LOVED playing in water for years so this wasn't too difficult now it's just an issue keeping her from doing ALL the dishes and going to far too fast and parentifying her). And did the same with making her bed.

Now for how I fixed MYSELF.

First, honestly the best thing I did for my daughter learning to clean up was start doing it MYSELF actively in front of her and POINTING OUT what I was doing. Kids that age and up till about the teen years LOVE to emulate their caregivers (it's why "baby/house" play is so popular with young kids).

As for what I did to CHANGE MYSELF.:

1.) I started just after I got my meds so that if I forgot to get my meds or screw that up (frequent occurrence) I would have had an entire month of "pattern making" to help when I didn't have it.
2.) I set an "If then..." cleaning schedule. As in, "if it is 7:00pm (or the closest arrivals time if we are Out of the House at 7:00 pm) THEN, I will clean the house for 15 minutes.".
3.) Then, I made sure I STUCK WITH IT for the first two weeks. I set an alarm with a ROTATING RINGER (Important to keep yourself from just learning to IGNORE the alarm) for 7:00 each night for the first two weeks. I set the alarm on the bedroom clock AND my phone. NO MATTER WHAT I was doing or how I was feeling at the moment (a frequent excuse I used to use due to SEVERAL chronic illnesses that flair up occasionally) I FORCED myself to do it (and for DD DH to help it's a family thing) to catch anything we missed "cleaning up after ourselves".
4.) We try our BEST to clean up after ourselves EVERYTIME just like we expect DD to do. This modeling has been INVALUABLE. If we made mistakes we made sure to point them out to DD and say "oopsie Mommy/Daddy forgot to clean up our...." "it's okay we all make mistakes I'll get it now that I've noticed!"
5.) This one is a bit much as well but I went a bit "label and everything has a place" crazy after I finished the living room and did our: Bedroom, Bathroom, and Kitchen as well which has honestly helped ME not just put things places when everything has a place I have no excuse to just LEAVE it where it lies. And to be transparent this part took me about a week/week and a half (I am a teacher on summer break so this may take longer for working parents!) I didn't put pictures but everything has a place and a Canva Template Label printed and placed on the bins/the outside of the drawers. I ordered a bulk drawer organizing set off of Amazon for like $20 and it did my whole house.
6.) I ALSO changed the LABEL per drawer/area for the bedroom. That way, if a bin ended up outside of its place we would know where it goes but I REFUSED to do this in the PUBLIC areas of the house and instead I: a.) Picked one style for each room. B.) Made a "Master List" Excel Spreadsheet for each room in case something gets misplaced/lost its home.

All of this effort and time I have spent doing and implementing this (about a month TOTAL for organizing/labeling/purging/Training the toddler) that I just COULD NOT go back.

So far, it has been almost 2 months and while we arent PERFECT (see yesterday: not for nothing I forgot to refill my meds and was without the last two days lol) my house is clean 95% of the time for the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

If you have any questions about the method I used to do something or what products I went with, just ASK. I TRULY HOPE that this post makes a difference in SOMEONE else life. Doesn't have to change everything for everyone but if ONE FAMILY is helped I will be EXTREMELY happy!

So I, personally, have ADHD. I have NEVER been the "good house wife" perfectly clean kind of person. In fact, during some dark periods in my life, you might have said my living space qualified as a safety hazard. I have tried OVER AND OVER AGAIN to LEARN how to clean because my mom did everything for us going up until it was FAR too late to instill it. I never wanted to make that mistake with our daughter but no matter how hard I tried I could NOT improve. And my house began to show it BIG TIME when my kid reached the "toddler who dumps everything on the floor stage" and she REFUSED to clean up after herself so I just did it and made a half-hearted attempt to have her help. It never worked. Then, one day I saw my kid take the wrapper off a string cheese, look at it, and then throw it over her shoulder onto the ground. I thought....oh hell no...I am SERIOUSLY fu\*\*ing this up. I KNEW she cleaned up at school so what was the problem? I decided then and THERE to change things.

After I implemented this plan, my child (and I honestly tips for THAT after the kid tips! ) now not only cleans up her toys EVERY TIME she even: Cleans her room, makes her bed, and washes her own dishes!!!

Here are the things I did to help the TODDLER get better:
1.) I COMPLETELY cleaned and organized her toys placing items into bins and shelves. (IMPORTANT WE USED CLEAR PLASTIC CONTAINERS THIS IS VITAL everything went onto a shelf or in a CLEAR Bin).
2.) I made SURE that EACH AND EVERY ITEM had its OWN INDIVIDUAL STORAGE spot ALONE in a bin/shelf. I started on my own with the toys I knew she loved/used every day. Then, when I started to run out of room I had her watch the "Monkey Jocks" episode of Bluey (Season 2 Episode 37) where the main characters give up toys they don't use to help other kids and it's pretty heartfelt. She and I then paired down the toys till everything fit.
3.) I took a picture of the CONTENTS of each bin, and what the bin looked like IN PLACE. The CONTENTS picture went on the outside/front of the bin with simplified word descriptors to work on our reading as we go. The IN PLACE pictures went on the SHELVES themselves so that if a bin is taken out and emptied (or more likely MULTIPLE BINS given how she plays) she can figure out what goes into each bin and then where the bin goes/what goes on that shelf. I used printable sticky glossy photo paper I go for like $6 a pack at Walmart (Note it took 2 packs for ALL of her shiz cause there is only 10 pages in a pack).

All of this cleaning and organizing and labeling took me about 3 solid days of work straight I am not gonna lie to you but MY GOD was it worth it!

4.)Then what I did was dump out two easy to understand labeled bins that were located near each other and picked one up and asked her "what goes in THIS BIN" and had her sort the toys. Then I showed her the shelves/places and asked her which bin goes where. We then talked about the importance of cleaning up your own mess!

5.) For a LONG TIME I have been singing a song to her that I made up to the tune of "if you are happy and you know it" it goes:
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess, just try to do your best.
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!

5.) At FIRST I had to be ON HER EVERY TIME she switched toys I made her pick up the old one. At first she didn't mind because she had been seeing ME do all this cleaning so she was already helping out more and "wanted to be like mommy" but after day two it got old fast. We had to sing the "Mess Song" I made up years ago when she was little. It is sung to the tune of "if you are happy and you know it" it goes:
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!
It's okay to make a mess, just try to do your best.
It's okay to make a mess just clean it up!

Where I make HER sing the "clean it up" part after she learned the song. I pause until SHE says/yells CLEAN IT UP(she fricking LOVES it but your kid may need a different motivator).

When that stopped worked the deal became: no new toys, no games/playing with parents, and no TV until she picked it up. No arguing no fussing but I held HARD to the rule. She didn't LOVE it at first but now I hardly EVER have to use this tactic. The first difficult day took a LOT of tears to get 100% right but I held firm and it was NEVER so hard ever again so if that happens just PUSH THROUGH I PROMISE they will get it if you hold firm. If she picked up a toy I would take it out of her hand, place it out of reach, and repeat the rule.

It has now gotten to the point that even though \*I forgot to remind her to clean up/stay on her yesterday when we walked in the door to the house today she saw the living room (where her toys are) she said "man...we need to clean this mess up" with her little hands on her hips (note:it was VERY cute lol), and then cleaned up her mess.

And, Finally for the toys, the rule is: Mom/dad does NOT start helping/cleaning until YOU DO and we only do as much as SHE does so if she puts two puzzle pieces up WE put two up FOR her. As she gets older we will obviously phase this support out (gently at first such as she has to pick up 4 to our 2 and then 6 to 2 etc.) but these messes can be over whelming for a 3 year old!

6.) For the making the bed and washing her dishes I started by having her help ME do them as I went through my OWN cleaning journey and then asking her to place her dishes in the sink. Then help me wash the dishes with her washing her own till I felt comfortable letting her doing it alone and then started prompting her to do it and now she does it on her own (but TBF she has LOVED playing in water for years so this wasn't too difficult now it's just an issue keeping her from doing ALL the dishes and going to far too fast and parentifying her). And did the same with making her bed.

Now for how I fixed MYSELF

First, honestly the best thing I did for my daughter learning to clean up was start doing it MYSELF actively in front of her and POINTING OUT what I was doing. Kids that age and up till about the teen years LOVE to emulate their caregivers (it's why "baby/house" play is so popular with young kids).

As for what I did to CHANGE MYSELF.:

1.) I started just after I got my meds so that if I forgot to get my meds or screw that up (frequent occurrence) I would have had an entire month of "pattern making" to help when I didn't have it.
2.) I set an "If then..." cleaning schedule. As in, "if it is 7:00pm (or the closest arrivals time if we are Out of the House at 7:00 pm) THEN, I will clean the house for 15 minutes.".
3.) Then, I made sure I STUCK WITH IT for the first two weeks. I set an alarm with a ROTATING RINGER (Important to keep yourself from just learning to IGNORE the alarm) for 7:00 each night for the first two weeks. I set the alarm on the bedroom clock AND my phone. NO MATTER WHAT I was doing or how I was feeling at the moment (a frequent excuse I used to use due to SEVERAL chronic illnesses that flair up occasionally) I FORCED myself to do it (and for DD DH to help it's a family thing) to catch anything we missed "cleaning up after ourselves".
4.) We try our BEST to clean up after ourselves EVERYTIME just like we expect DD to do. This modeling has been INVALUABLE. If we made mistakes we made sure to point them out to DD and say "oopsie Mommy/Daddy forgot to clean up our...." "it's okay we all make mistakes I'll get it now that I've noticed!"
5.) This one is a bit much as well but I went a bit "label and everything has a place" crazy after I finished the living room and did our: Bedroom, Bathroom, and Kitchen as well which has honestly helped ME not just put things places when everything has a place I have no excuse to just LEAVE it where it lies. And to be transparent this part took me about a week/week and a half (I am a teacher on summer break so this may take longer for working parents!) I didn't put pictures but everything has a place and a Canva Template Label printed and placed on the bins/the outside of the drawers. I ordered a bulk drawer organizing set off of Amazon for like $20 and it did my whole house.
6.) I ALSO changed the LABEL per drawer/area for the bedroom. That way, if a bin ended up outside of its place we would know where it goes but I REFUSED to do this in the PUBLIC areas of the house and instead I: a.) Picked one style for each room. B.) Made a "Master List" Excel Spreadsheet for each room in case something gets misplaced/lost its home.

All of this effort and time I have spent doing and implementing this (about a month TOTAL for organizing/labeling/purging/Training the toddler) that I just COULD NOT go back.

So far, it has been almost 2 months and while we arent PERFECT (see yesterday: not for nothing I forgot to refill my meds and was without the last two days lol) my house is clean 95% of the time for the FIRST TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

If you have any questions about the method I used to do something or what products I went with, just ASK. I TRULY HOPE that this post makes a difference in SOMEONE else life. Doesn't have to change everything for everyone but if ONE FAMILY is helped I will be EXTREMELY happy!

So I, stupidly, took out a credit card with Commnity Bank. The debt was originally $500, which I THOUGHT i had paid off entirely to the tune of $575 with the added interest. It turns out there was a "25 dollar yearly administration fee" that I missed paying. I then forgot about the fad because I never intended to use it again and thought I had paid it off. They have apparently added $500 in "late fees" on top of the $25 and have apparently sent me to collections. I offered wha I thought was fair of $125 but they refused. I am NOT paying more than I originally took out in late fees as that is fucking ridiculous. I am not paying $1,000 for a $500 debt as 100% interest would be asinine. They refused to take the $125 and now I'm stuck as what to do next. I am SURE there most be laws or rules against predatory late fees like this. Are there any suggestions about what to do next?