u/Dzz64

Peter, I understand that Joe was making a bit of a dated reference, and maybe it wasn’t the funniest joke or the most relevant thing to say. Not every joke lands, and that’s completely normal. But at the end of the day, he’s still your friend. From the way I saw it, he wasn’t trying to ruin the conversation or make things awkward. He just wanted to be included, join in with everyone else, and throw out a suggestion that he genuinely thought would make people laugh. There wasn’t any bad intention behind what he said. He was simply trying to participate and be part of the moment like everyone else.
What bothered me wasn’t even the joke itself—it was how he was treated afterward. Instead of just laughing it off, changing the subject, or saying it wasn’t that funny, he was basically pushed aside and made to feel like he didn’t belong there. It came across like he was being outcasted and shoved into a corner, almost as if his presence was an inconvenience. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially by people they’re supposed to be comfortable around. It honestly looked like he was being treated like an annoying pet that everyone wanted to ignore instead of a friend who was just trying to interact with the group.
Friends are supposed to have each other’s backs, even when someone says something a little awkward or tells a joke that misses the mark. Everyone has moments where they say something that doesn’t land. That doesn’t mean they deserve to be embarrassed or made to feel like they should stop talking altogether. A little kindness and understanding go a long way, and it costs nothing to let someone feel included instead of making them feel isolated.
Seeing the way Joe was treated was genuinely disappointing. Whether you meant it that way or not, the message it sent was that he wasn’t welcome, and that’s a terrible feeling for anyone to experience. Imagine how you’d feel if you were excited to contribute to a conversation, only to be dismissed and made to feel like you shouldn’t have spoken at all. It’s not about one joke—it’s about how someone is made to feel afterward.
That’s why I’ve honestly lost a lot of respect for you over this. I expected better

I got new earbuds from Walmart, specifically the onn TWS mini pods, but once I pair it to my phone I noticed the right bud light wasn’t flashing

I got new earbuds from Walmart, specifically the onn TWS mini pods, but once I pair it to my phone I noticed the right bud light wasn’t flashing

Please apply for your ban by replying to this comment if you believe that statements like "Not All Men" are useful, or if you believe that radical feminist rhetoric is the reason that more men are being radicalized to the right.
One brief tangent: I will be talking about radical feminism here, but not trans-exclusionary radical feminism. TERFs may also apply for their permanent ban by replying to this comment. Trans women are women and belong in women-only spaces. Trans women experience even higher rates of sexual violence and murder than cis women and their voices deserve to be heard. Protect the Dolls. Happy Pride!
Many men are under the impression that it is up to women to coddle their feelings when we talk about our experiences with sexism and sexual violence. That we need to assure men that we aren't attacking YOU, we aren't saying ALL masculinity is bad, that we need to be careful not to end up being misandrist in our activism.
Fuck off.
Women are socialized to be emotional caretakers and swallow our feelings and not react, lest we anger or upset someone. We are socialized to be conciliatory and kind under all circumstances. We are socialized to suppress rage. This harms women and benefits the man.
Men are socialized to suppress all emotions but anger. This harms the man. It also harms the women who come in contact with the man.
Men who are entrenched intoxic masculinity are harming themselves. That is sad. But they expect women to continue suppressing their anger to wrap up their activism in kind packages that don't make men angry or uncomfortable and gently teach them to be better. That is the definition of emotional labor.
A liberated woman is one who allows herself to be angry. She is a woman who will tell you to fuck off to your face, knowing it puts her in danger to do so, because the expectation is a kind rejection, or worse, giving in.
I refuse to cite my sources. You may do your own reading and research, and you will respect that I am a woman who has 2 degrees that included extensive research into the history of radical feminism, and I won't be entertaining any mansplaining of radical feminism, nor will the mod team that is behind me.
I am setting myself up for harm by making this post, and I don't care. I respect myself. You will be respectful to me, too.
And yes, Me Too.
Misandry isn't real.
Fuck off.
Edit because I still have to do emotional labor for fragile men:
Oppression of men in society comes from misogyny, not from misandry. When a man can't express emotions, that is because emotions are associated with female qualities. When a man is attacked for being gay, that comes from gay being associated with female qualities
Racism is power + prejudice. Without the systemic compontent it is just prejudice. Misandry similarly requires an aspect of power and is not systemically present under patriarchy.