u/East_Art_1637

My little brother is heavily autistic , he has level 3 autism . He was playing with soap cuz no one was looking at him and i was in the shower . My dad slipped on the soap and my little brother got stripped and beat , when i got out of the shower i ran to my little brother and tried to protect him , only to get stripped from my towel and beaten too . I dont know what else to do
This has happened my whole life , especially since my little nrothers condition is getting worse .
I hate my life , ive tried ending it so many times .
I wish i didnt have to stress about any of this , i wish my problems didnt have to be this . I hate my life so much .
Im talentless , stupid and ugly , theres no future for me .
My dad is way bigger than i am , and my mom is a huge weirdo . She said my little brother getting hit is whatever and that he and i should movw on . My little brother is non verbal and has the brain of a three year old , obviously he wouldnt understand what he did was wrong . Also my parents werent looking at him at the time he played with soap . I hate this so much i wish i was dead , i hate god for putting my little brother in this kind of situation . Well ive never believed in a god anyways . Ive been abused my whole life by my mom and dad (physically and mentally ) , but my little brother has it worst because he couldnt run away or speak up . Everyday after i go home from school i always try to hangout by myself or hangout with my friends or anyone , just so i spend less time at home . But they also get really mad at that . I hate my life i hate my parents

I just needed to let this out somewhere .
Im tired of the abuse , im tired of living like this .

Ive always wondered how hakkai or yuzuha feels about religion .
I assume hakkai would be immature about it (cuz he hates how hes a coward and cant do anything to change his situation at the time … also cuz he hates taiju) … so like he’d hate on religion and would probably be an atheist .
yuzuha would try to be mature about it ,,,, maybe shes neutral .. or an agnostic .

READ THIS
IM NOT SAYING ATHEIST’S ARE IMMATURE , IM LIT AN ATHEIST . And im not saying that just cuz ure an agnostic that makes you mature or not . What im trying to say is that hakkai would be immature about it and start blaming god for everything!!! Like the way he says stuff like “ oh man god isnt real thats stupud if youre christian ure stupid blablabla” and what im saying is that the way they react towards it !!!!!!!3!2!2!2 omfggnrnenehhfggg
Again im not saying that atheists r immature and stupid and whatever , and im not saying that agnostics are mature er IM TALKING ABOUT THE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND HOW THEY WOULD TAKE IT. Hakkai being an atheist cuz he thinks god and christianity or anyt gods dont exist cuz of how mad he is with taiju , and yuzuha trying to understand it on her own what religion and god is and all that sort of thing . THATS WHAT I MEAN!!’n plus this is lit my take on a fictional character , not on actual human real life people

I also wonder why taiju is such a devoted christian . I dont see any cross in their like house sketch thing (forgot what its called) … so maybe its not from their parents ..??

Yeah , i wanna know what you guys think..!!!l

Even in my own birthday i feel alienated . These “friends” i have dont even like me . I invited them because my parents belived that i have all these many friends when i dont . I pretend because i dont want them to know how lonely i really am . Im 17 and a senior , i hope i get friends in university or online . Im just really sad . Right now im messaging this as theyre swimming in my pool and im just outside of the pool(cuz i have to help my parents clean up) . Theyre gonna have a sleepover, cuz well they want to … and idk i just hate it , i wish i can tell them to go home . Ive been holding my tears the whole time . Ive wanted to pull out my hair . I hate feeling this way . Im always miserable i hate it really

My parents bought so much food but all these people got ed or somethign , nobody wants to eat it . My dad looks disappointed and sad and im just so .. ugh idk .
Its such a waste of food and money … i hate this so so much . There so much left overs … i probably would eat them all later when everyones asleep .. so that my parents and grandma would think that they ate it . I hate this feeling so much . I rather be alone than to face this .

Theyre all talking to everyone but me . I tried talking to them .. like asking them if they want anything or asking them to play some games and stuff but they would never reply .

Also theyre all talking shit about my parents , they keep whispering to each other and i HATE IT SO MUCH I HATE FEELING THIS WAY I HATE BIRTHDAYS

im 16 about to turn 17, and i still have no idea what to do with my life . Im sadly not active in anything , and my life just sucks . Ive tried participating in many school activities but everytime i do join them , i either dont get accepted or never win . Im very into arts and craft , i want to become a jeweler or food prop maker … or if possible have a businesss that sells cute fake food props and accessories. But im just scared it wouldnt turn out good because my drawings arent the best , so is my colorings . I have a part time job right now , which is coloring the base colors of a webtoon thats still in canvas (idk whats it called im not deep into webtoon) . And idk im confused on what college / university i must go to … my whole family expects me to go to a university/ college thats outside of my country because its better (which i agree) but im scared of the language barrier … ive already struggle to talk with peiple ,, so this is just gonna be worse .

My mom told me to just go to business (like for college ) which i dont mind … but then at the same time im scared that i’ll lose my passion in arts and just be a zombie my whole life …. Uugghhh. But then if i do pursue arts.. theres a big chance i’ll end up on the streets..!!!

I dont come from a rich family or anything , and i dont have many time because i also have needy parents and a little brother who has special needs who requires help from me too . And idk whats weong with me but yeah i also have many problems with myself too so .. idk its just hard to do anything .
Right now im trying to do many mixed media arts to maybe be able to get into a scholarship.. or something … idk… i just need help and guidance .. and im too embarassed to ask anyone else irl because i feel like i’ll be made fun of if i do .

Ive always wondered why ,,, idk if ken wakui has talked about this or not but yeah!!!
I wanna know what you guys think :pppp

Wether its online of offline, ive never succeeded on making a permanent friend . They’d only be temporary , we’d only talk super shortly and then dip out .
I am the problem , im very awkward and for some reason i kinda digressed in talking as well … i dont know why . I guess its because of how isolated ive been since covid .. i wanna change this but its just so hard !!!!!

Im just really sad that i could never experience those big fun teenage friend group , and im gonna miss out on a lot of things just because i was embarrassed and awkward … ugh i hate this so much!1!1!!1!1!
Everytime im at school i feel like theres a huge billboard on top of my head that says loser. I try to befriend anyone , but its hard to keep being friends with bigoted people . My class is full of homophobes and posers ,,, its not me being judgmental.. i just dont wanna be around people who i dont agree with .

And like last week when i went to this small anime con thingy , there was so many people who were cool and had the same interest with me … they even talked to me first! But ofcourse i had to fuck it up !!.!.!.! When they approached me ,, the only thing i could say was “ohmygosh youre so cute ohmygosh cute bag ohmygosh cutecutecute cute awwhahaw cute omg yay omg “ I HATE IT ,, IM LIKE A ROBOT !!!!
And when i try to joke and join this one person (i met them at a mall and we kinda hit it off there ..?) ‘s friend group .. it was SO AWKWARD !!!!! Its like theres sometjing wrong with me !!!

This is a big reason why im scared of college . Cuz if u dont have any connections or friends or friendgroup in college YOURE DOOMED !!! YOURE DEAD!!!! MIGHT AS WELL DROP OUT !!!!
i hope to any gods or satans or anything listening to please let me find my people in college … i cant spend like 3/4 college years just lurking

THIS CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS !!!!!!!
Tw : mentions of suicide

ive been thinking ,, how would all the characters be like in the original timeline (the timeline where mikey is in a vegetative state) and lets say shinichiros attempt did work and the whole time traveling thing doesnt exist .,, but um heres what ive come up with .. its super bad i know , i dont know how to word things and i can only come up with these 😭

Takemitchy He’d still just be his original self… the him before the time travel stuff

Since Mikey is dead, Toman would’ve never existed. That means Kazutora would still be stuck with his toxic friend group, dealing with everything alone (and honestly… I feel like he’d eventually attempt). Baji would still meet Chifuyu and Ryusei, but I’m kinda confused on how he’d react to them without Toman being a thing.

The others Pah-chin, Peh-yan, Smiley, Angry,, they’d probably just stay in their original gang. I think Draken would still just be… Draken. I don’t think he’d start his own gang or anything. He’d probably just be a solo fighter who’s really into motorcycles. Mitsuya would still meet Draken and they’d become friends, and Hakkai would still meet Mitsuya too!!

But I think in this timeline, Yuzuha would eventually snap and stab Taiju or do something to get rid of him because she’d finally be tired of all the abuse.

And because Shinichiro is dead too… Wakasa, Benkei, and Takeomi would probably end up depressed. SANZU TOO!! I genuinely don’t know who Sanzu would even follow though… I feel like he’d just end up getting involved in some really shady stuff.

I also don’t think Izana would ever find out the truth about Shinichiro not actually being his biological brother, so that means Tenjiku would never exist. Inupi would still recruit Taiju, Koko would follow him too… then Taiju dies because of Yuzuha… and blah blah blah

Brahman wouldn’t exist either… but Rokuhara Tandai definitely still would!!!

Hanma would be bored asf. Kisaki would probably turn into a raging incel lmfao. 😭 I still think he’d get involved in shady businesses, and honestly… I can totally see him trying to force Hinata into marrying him.

Naoto would probably still become a police officer because of all the shady stuff Kisaki’s involved in, and he’d spend his time trying to save his sister and take Kisaki down.

Also dont know about senju,, guess she’d just become a youtuber ..??

MY HEADCANON AND THEORY THING IS SO TRASH!!! I need to hear someone elses interpretation!

Everytime someone asks me what college or university im going to or what ill be doing in the future , i keep answering “im still thinking about it” or say i dont know . Because my whole life ive always believed i wouldnt live this far .. so now im doomed !
i dont wanna end up homeless and stuff … but yeah i dont know what to do now .
its not like i dont have a hobby or anythinf ,, i do have them . Its just that i dont think im worthy enough to make it into a job or something thatll earn me money . I really shouldve focused on school rather than attempting so much back then , lesson learned or something . I now have only a year left of highschool,,, welp ,,

English isnt my first language , there are many mistakes here

I know the title sounds bratty and spoiled but whatever . Its so unfair how my friends just easily gets a huge amount of money every month by their parents meanwhile i have to secretly work behind my parents back just to earn that kind of money.
Im 16 and ive been struggling financially since birth ,, everytime i want to ask my parents for money i get too paranoid and feel bad . Cause my parenrs have to spend A LOT of money for my level 3 autistic sibling . I dont hate them because of that ,,, its just that i feel jealous most of the times, having to work so hard and then seeing my friends easily get money.
And having to listen to them complain about not getting more allowance is just ugghh so annoying !!!

Also i wish i can just change the people around me ,, well i can do that.. its just that im too afraid to approach other people . Thing about my current friendgroup or circle or whatever you call it , is that they never listen to me ,,, its like as if im just there so that when the leader or the more popular ones in the group is busy they can just go to me . I really hate that . This girl who calls me best friend never messages me first and most of the time dont even read my messages … she clearly has some mental issues and i can excuse that i guess . But its just so tiring having to listen to her talk about them! Like ok we get it youre an ed queen whatever . Its like shes screaming for help but then when i actually help her she ignores it and thinks im trying to fatten em up .
And then this guy who WONT STOP WHINING ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! HES SUCH A BABY. He always comes to me to complain and ask for advice but when i give it to him he ignores it and does the opposite!!!! And everytime i try to talk about my feelings he’ll make up and excuse so that he wouldnt have to listen to me . Theyre both really similar actually .. but without them i wouldnt have any friends and i dont want my dad to bully me over it . So i pray to any gods or satan or whatever there is so that ill have different friends in college . I really hope i change in the future or i am doomed .

i know i sound stupid and spoiled and that itll be like this in the adult life too but yeah , i just dont know where else i can talk about this