u/East_Call_3739

It's hard. You might be having the wkrst day of your life, wanting to cut and die. But you still HAVE to show up to your classes, do your assignments, take your siblings to school, go to work. And that'd the way it is. And I'm not saying it shouldn't be that way.

I feel like people say "nothing is more important than taking care if yourself" or be so quick to suggest "taking some time off". But it's not realistic. You have to function in a society at the end of the day. I just choose not to think about the future lol.

Ik how maladaptive sh is. It's js prolonging the inevitable. Yea tye thoughts might go away for a night- but I have to deal with them in the morning. Over and over again just seeing my life to go shit while I'm still stuck on nit dealing with any of my issues.

And the thing is no one will ever truly fully underdtand. I could fantasise about someone underdtanding and seeing me. But God knows that'll never happen- it's too late heh. And even if it does I don't think I'll ever accept that it's genuine. It's all empty words now.

Idk how to cope with this. I van survive tiday and tomorrow. But how am I supposed tp for the rest of my life? Waking up everyday on time, doing all the good things, but when one little thing slips up, im back wjere I started.

Any advice apprecauted. I haven't lived a live so I'm hoping to hear from people with more experience

I use self harm as a means to force stop a period of bad thoughts. Im not diagonised or.anytbimg so I'm nit going to say it is a depressive episode but I suspect it to be.

Uni stuff, so I've got lretty important exams and last week I just couldn't get out of bed. I wantes to die, felt hopless and all that usual working aspects.

But I bad exams I needed to force stop and make myself hit rock bottom through sh. Which usually works, weirdly sh feels like it gets the ball rolling for bettr days.

BUT THIS TIME IT DIDNT. I just felt worse and akrse and worse. I'm scared, if ddlesnt work- I dont know what will. I dont want to live in misery with no way out. I don't want to cut deeper, I don't want to be this way.

And I just feel like I have no future as well. Like in my adult life will anyone ever look at my sh and not cringe. Idk.

Im so sorry. I feel so shit. I feel like dying. I relapsed in my self garm and my eating issues. I feel so hopeless like nothijg means anything. I feel alone and ik constantly distracting myself.

These exams are super important, I have no back ups if I fail this.

I have got 2 days until my next one. I'm going to try my best. But I feel like I have already failed. I just want someone out there to see me.

(Prefacing this by saying I'm nkt diagnosed or I probabaly don't have BDD but I kinda js want stupport)

Guys I just want to know how I look. I feel so ugly. I've spent hours thinking about this, looking at my face, old pictures, new pictures. And now I've re-downloaded reddit.

I never post myself on social media. I want to stay anonymous but I can't get the idea out of my head.

Even if they say I'm ugly idc I js want to know how I look. But I'm worried about being screenshotted. I don't want people finding my account.

I hate this so much, I feel so ugly, I look so ugly. Literally eveyone looks drop dead gorgeous but me.