u/Effective-Ad7463

Genuinely never thought I’d ever be a fun sucker and be the person who biatches about fireworks online. Well. Here I am.

My son is 2yo and we leave for his first plane ride tomorrow to go across the country for my brothers wedding. And guess who went to bed two hours ago but is now wide awake because of motherfucking fireworks.

I’m so mad. He’s not pissed or scared, but he’s awake. As fuck. He’s the type of kid also where it doesn’t matter if he’s been asleep for five minutes or five hours, if he wakes up, he’s UP. So if you know, you know.

And of course I prioritized packing him first and spent days doing it. And now I’m trying to scramble at the last literal minute. And he’s awake. And I’m stressed. If this kid doesn’t sleep, he’s going to make it everyone’s problem on the plane tomorrow.

Send prayers and vibes and wishes and a miracle.

I’m leaving this weekend to go out of state for a wedding. I just got the text that my first month is ready for pickup.

I have no idea what to expect and I’m a little nervous in general to start, but should I wait until I’m back home from this wedding? Or should I just go ahead and start?

I’ll be out of state for a week and I’d rather not feel like shit the whole time.

I’d appreciate some advice here.

My son just turned 2 a couple days ago. He’s been going to a Montessori school since the beginning of June - 2 days a week.

He’s been full-time at home with me his entire life. I don’t technically need him to be there. I freelance and make my own hours but I don’t have a heavy workload. It’s mostly so I can have a day to clean the house and another day to run errands.

I had a lot of anxiety when we decided to enroll him, I was reassured by my husband and my family he’d do great and love it, but it’s just not going well.

First couple days he did great. After his very first day, the owner told me he was an angel, had so much fun, etc etc and put me on the spot to register him for the fall. I had 24 hours to decide. Ooook annoying but whatever my husband and I decided to go for it. There’s a huge waiting list (just like everywhere else) so we figured we’d go for it. They only have full-time options in the fall so we’d essentially be paying full time prices but send him 3 days a week. Again, not that he needs to go, but my thinking was he’d be settled somewhere once we have our hypothetical second baby.

Well. He’s crying. A lot. He’s SCREAMING for mommy or daddy when we drop him off. They have to physically pull him off me. He’s crying on and off all day. He’s not napping. He’s become insanely clingy with me since starting and refuses to let anyone else really hold him or take him or do anything. School called me Friday to tell me to come get him because he wouldn’t stop crying all day. Broke my heart. And I cried the whole way to pick him up.

People are telling me (including the owner) he just needs to go more often and get used to it…. Mmmmm idk about that. Why would I keep forcing him into a situation he’s not happy or excited about when I could just keep him?

I really freaking enjoy having two days off. But jfc i don’t know how much more I can take of his freaking screams at drop off. I feel like it’s torture. For him and for myself.

I’m considering pulling him entirely and just eating the registration fee. But idk. My husband doesn’t care either way. My mom is telling me to pull him & that he’s too young/not ready. My SIL (her kid is at the same school) is telling me to send him more often. What would you do?

TLDR: 2yo isn’t doing well at school and idk if I should pull him out or not.

I’m a mom of a 2yo. Watching this show and reading everyone’s takes on Luke and Kristen, I’d like to offer my perspective bc honestly neither of them are “wrong.”

I’ve been both of them. And what people don’t understand about having children is, even in the best of circumstances, is SO FUCKING HARD and will push you and your partner to your absolute limits every single day. You have no clue what postpartum will have in store.

I started going out and partying hard when I was 3mo postpartum. Yep. I was breastfeeding all day, pumping constantly, and going out all night. I was leaving the house anywhere between 4-7pm and not coming home until 4-5am if at all. I was also medicated and being treated for postpartum depression. Clearly wasn’t working.

At the same time, I was Kristen. Nitpicking my husband, freaking out about everything, hating my body, but also wanting to escape and forget how much I hated myself and pretend nothing was happening. Like my entire world wasn’t changing. I was coping in an insanely unhealthy way obviously but wasn’t aware at all.

My relationship looked a lot like theirs. Constant fighting. Arguing. Breakdowns. Tears. Never in my life have I ever thrown anything or been violent, I was throwing shit. Breaking shit. Losing myself.

Kristen fussing at Luke and Luke dipping to go meet up at the bar with friends is a lot like what happened between me and my husband except I was Luke. My husband wasn’t anxious like Kristen and to his credit let me go bc wtf else was he supposed to do, but he wasn’t happy with my behavior.

So I genuinely understand them both. But also, my husband and I are in a vastly different place now. It takes a lot of adjustment and no one really prepares you for it. The first year is…hard. It will take tiny hairline fractures in any relationship and bust them wide open. It will shatter you and you either pick up the pieces and make a new, better, stronger relationship or you leave it on the floor and walk away.

I’m not some piece of shit parent because of how I acted. Neither is Luke. Neither is Kristen. We all do our best. You are baptized by fire in the early days and if you can get through it, you’re a superhuman version of yourself on the other side. And I truly hope they can stick it out.

All that to say, I see a lot of shitting on Luke and a lot of shitting on Kristen and just give them some freaking grace. You have absolutely no idea what it’s like. And even if you think you do, you don’t. Postpartum looks incredibly different for every couple, both men and women. They’re in the scary adjustment period so just…. ease up.

A couple days ago after my son went to sleep I went to pick up a pizza for myself, my husband, and a friend of mine to watch some reality tv. I decided on a whim to stop at the gas station down the street from my house to get a couple small treats. This is a place I go almost daily, I know the workers, I go all hours of the day or night, I’ve always felt relatively safe. I can walk or ride my bike if I want to, it’s that close.

Also I apologize this is less about being a SAHM and more just looking to vent to a group of people I relate to bc I’m not sure where else to put this.

As I’m walking in, a shirtless sweaty man is looking like he’s going to walk in, but ends up turning around and pacing. There’s often homeless people outside but I even have relationships with some of the regulars and will chit chat and grab snacks and drinks and whatever they need. So this wasn’t a huge trigger for me but I did notice he looked agitated. I try really hard not to judge people so, against my gut feeling that something wasn’t right, I just ignored it and went about my business. Not two minutes later, this man walks in and one of the workers (who I noticed had been on her cell phone since I walked in, again not unusual for her) immediately locked the f*cking door behind him. Locking him and all of us (myself and five other patrons none of whom are capable of defending ourselves against a clearly methed/cracked out shirtless man on a rampage) inside. With no other way out.

The man proceeded to scream and rage and holler and punch isles and knock everything off shelves and throw beer cans and just lost his shit. The girl on the phone said she’s on the phone with the police and we all had to wait until they got there….. immediately I’m silently panicking and looking for ways out or something I can grab to defend myself or hide or anything. I’m 5’3” 125lbs I’m not big. And like I said neither was anyone else.

The worker grabbed a girl who was in front of me in line and took her into the back employee room. I stood there for a second or two thinking as I’m having to actively run around to avoid this man’s flailing. The others in the store took their phones out and stood still recording which was absolutely insane to me. No sense of self preservation and it felt extremely dystopian.

At that point I walked myself into the back room as well and locked the door. I watched from the small window as this man completely destroyed the inside of the gas station while we were all completely helpless locked in with him. I was able to remain calm through this ordeal and I think it was pure adrenaline and shock.

Thank god the police showed up remarkably fast and the entire ordeal lasted ten minutes, but I’m beyond shaken.

I got home and just broke down. He could have had a gun. I could’ve died in that gas station and my husband would have to tell my son mommy caught a stray bullet at a circle k and that would’ve been my legacy. Forever. And I haven’t been able to get a grip since.

I haven’t left the house in days. Every time I think about it, I get a pain in my chest and my stomach knots up. I couldn’t take a full breath the next day or get up off the couch to play with my son because my chest is so tight with anxiety. I need to go to the grocery but as i type this out the thought is making my chest and stomach cramp.

Idk what to do with this. I cannot help but think troubled people with no concern for others are everywhere. You see the stories on the news but this happened in my backyard. In my neighborhood. In front of my face. And the fear of something happening to me and not coming home to my son has me in an agoraphobic chokehold and I’m scared. I’ve never been one to be scared or let violence bother me. I’ve been around it just because of the city I live in (large men fighting or even in my younger days being caught up in an area where a shooting took place and it was chaotic and pepper spray was in the air while police on horseback flooded the streets, I’ve had a man stare through my bedroom window when I was in college) but I’ve always been able to walk away. I was locked inside completely freaking helpless and I’m just a mess now. And this wasn’t me putting myself in a dangerous situation, it’s a place I’ve been a million times. I also didn’t have anything to lose. But now I do.

I don’t think many people besides my husband understand how this is effecting me and I’m ashamed about being so upset over something that ended up being ok but I just don’t know what to do with myself now. And as a mother this has changed my outlook on the state of the world and I’m unsure of how to move past this.

Idk why it took me so long to break out the corn starch and water.

My 23mo is verrryyyyy clinging even when dad is home. It’s hard to do anything. Yesterday I remembered friggin ooblek. I mixed it up in a plastic shallow Tupperware and give him a couple trucks. Put him in his tower and positioned to him next to me on the kitchen counter while I cooked dinner. He was LOCKED IN the whole time. I was amazed.

Now he’s freaking out about the thunder. BUST OUT THE OOBLEK!!

Gave him some kitchen tongs, a big spoon, dyed the stuff blue, and threw in his sea animal bath toys. Thunder who??

It’s also super easy to clean up. It can get all over the kitchen and I can just kinda sweep and vacuum it up. Or take a wet rag and it comes right up. Happy mom happy toddler.

So I (30f) usually get 30mg dextroamphetamine. I take half around 7am and am CRASHING HARD by noon. On the dot. Every single day. So I take another half. 95% of the time I feel like it doesn’t help. Usually makes me sleepy and even less productive than I am off meds. They give me a decent burst in the morning when I can get things done and be productive but I find by the end of the day, I’m irritated, aggravated, on edge, exhausted, and overall just feeling like shit. I’ve been taking these and this dose consistently for about 5 years now.

I’m a SAHM to a VERY active 2yo beautiful little boy so I have a lot on my plate: keeping the house, cooking, groceries, life planning, all the things, plus I freelance. It’s a lot. I need my meds to work.

I just filled my script a few weeks ago and noticed they were different (pink instead of orange). Didn’t think much of it until I took them. Wow the difference was palpable. I was on Supermom mode all day, no crash, no agitation. I’ve been so so happy and felt my meds were working finally and maybe I just got a good bottle. I told my husband to try mine (also on adderall and feels very similar effects when he takes his) and told him how much better I feel and how less clunky the medication was working for me. He felt the same and noticed this bottle was amphetamine salts. So of course I went googling and to my surprise I found a lot of people had the opposite to say.

Of the threads I’ve seen, most people report a clunky experience on salts. Does that mean something? I want to ask my doctor to specifically prescribe me the salts from now on, but seeing everyone else’s reaction makes me hesitate for some reason.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone here feels similar to me or is this just a fleeting experience? I’m dreading getting a second script of my old stuff and going back to feeling like shit.

My son will be 2 at the end of the month and starting a Montessori program. He’ll be going two full days a week. There’s children there that he knows, I’ve seen incredible growth in these kiddos, and I think he’s ready and will truly benefit so much from all this.

My biggest anxiety right now is how to help prepare him for the napping environment. I’m a full-time SAHM, so currently I give him about 3oz of milk in a little sippy cup and rock my sweet baby to sleep while I sing to him then transition him to his bed. He’s sleeping in a crib currently (not tall enough to climb out but getting close) and his bedroom is dark but not completely blacked-out, and I also run a fan in his room for some white noise. So that’s all very different to napping surrounded by other kids and toys in a cot with a blanket and a pillow in a new environment. The one consistency is that nap time is the same there as it is at home.

He already has trouble napping at my parents house when he visit - this bed is a full-sized mattress with a mesh toddler gate around it in the room with all the toys.

He is fully sleep trained for bed time but nap time has been another story.

Anyways. How can I help start preparing him for this transition? Do I convert the crib to a toddler bed? Do I cut out the cup of milk? Do I need to stop rocking him (which would honestly kill me but whatever is best for him is what I’ll do). I’ll take any and all advice pretty please

And it’s lowkey upsetting. I’m a mom to a 23mo perfect messy wild child little boy. He’s incredible and fun and exhausting and wears me out. I only just started making mom friends. Im 31 and none of my friends have kids.

I’ve put myself out there and managed to scrounge up a mom friend who introduced me to her other mom friends. These women are actually perfect and SO welcoming to me and my son. They have it all together. They have these sweet well-behaved children and these daily schedules they seamlessly follow and clean lovely homes and they bake and craft and are soooo calm and well-regulated and are just everything I wish I could be. But I’m not.

I’m a very unstructured, go with the flow, make a mess and worry about it later, barefoot, doors open all day, dirt tracked in the house, chasing after a naked toddler, outside in the mud, make it up as I go along type of person. Even on my best days when I do manage to have a few “structured” days in a row.

It works for us, although I’m almost always an anxious stressed out mess on top of it all & always internally panicking & flailing to get basic chores done. So maybe it doesn’t really work but we get through the day and have fun and destroy the house.

I’m not trying to be someone I’m not. I’ve never been anywhere close to how these women are but wow do I feel like SHIT about myself after we hang out. Not like they mom shame me at all, nor do they try to make me feel like shit on purpose they’re genuinely nice people, but they do try to give me advice when I don’t ask for it and it’s like damn… am I just fucking up my kid? Am I raising him in a way that’s not setting him up for success as he gets older? Is it that obvious I’m just living in catch-up mode?

So now I’m just in a self-critical spiral getting emotional at the state of my house while my baby naps. And I want to try to find a balance of being more put together, feeling like a proper “mom” but still being myself. And idk what that looks like. It’s just so hard not to compare yourself to other moms. I can role my eyes at the “perfect parents” on social media but when it’s real life and it’s time after time seeing how other people live and raise their kids I cannot help but be like wtf am I doing and why can’t I do it like THAT.

These women were actually born to be mothers. I was not. The homemaker stuff isn’t my strong suit but neither is anything else so I’m just winging it and doing my best. I just feel so inadequate and I often feel like my son deserves so much better than me. Sometimes I wish I could go back and just not have any mom friends and live in my chaos bubble with my son again and not feel so shit. Idk I’m just venting. It’s hard. I just want to be the best mom I can be and I’m so scared I’m f*cking it all up.