u/ElectronicCarry9931

I am a male, though my IG accounts that of a cat, perhaps I should change his gender to female. his friends are all animals.

Despite this, it is never very long, before a woman in a bikini appears on the feed. Sometimes I automatically 'like' it, other times I hover over it a bit too long. And then three images down the scroll, another woman in bikini on the beach. Then two images down, an AI gymnast, stated to be 18 but looking anything but. Then a high school diving team in swimming costumes, then a marching band girl in hot pants as part of her uniform. The age always tends south.

I try to clean up my feed, often pressing 'this makes me uncomfortable' but it always comes back, to the point where I first restricted my IG use to 20 minutes a day with screen time, and now delete the app and only restore it eery 10 days. Im seriously thinking to delete my cats account and just stay off ig forever.

Why is it that a reputable social media company keeps showing 15 year olds in bikinis/gymnast costumes? The line is obviously thin between an innocent beach photo and pornography, but the way it constantly appears on feeds means someone knows the deal with male sexuality. Should IG have a block on all sexualized images of minors? or should there be an option so that no minors in any state of dress will appear in any image on a feed? It may seem harsh that a high school swimming team can never post pictures of themselves doing their sport, which to them and other is not sexual, but it actually does count as indecent.

Just recently, I was scrolling down cat and dog fees when a video pops up of a female doing a handstand in a long dress, of course revealing her underwear. She lands down and stands up and of course she is a 12 year old girl. The video is from a dog account, with the family posting family pictures of the dog, and the dog is a 'friend' of my cat, but why is that particular video is pushed to the feed, and how should it be allowed?

Im single (widowed) living in remote area without much social interaction and working on changing it. But finding it impossible to give up mastrubation, and really struggling to go more than a week without looking at porn (I use reddit for porn which is quite vanilla but still)

I have used porn all my life, progressing from streaming in the mid 2000s and erotica/webcamming etc and despite going cold turkey it's always there, like an addiction that will never go away.

Anyone think they are addicted for life?

Firstly, I would prefer a magic button whereby porn could be outlawed/limited to what would be shown in an intimate sex scene in a 'normal' rated 18 movie. I dislike porn, and have had addiction to it (Im M) and really trying to give it up for good though it is a struggle.

Think one has to accept it will always be there. One thing that could help things is disallowing performers under the age of 25. Porn could be formalized, in that all webcam shows, OF, porn sites etc could only show licensed media, much the same way amazon prime or even YouTube cannot just show any old thing that is uploaded.

BarelyLegal, 18, schoolgirl, etc these are all very popular tags in porn sites. If men are (legally) getting used to being aroused to 18 year olds being portrayed like pieces of meat performing in the most degrading way imaginable and unimaginable, then its very likely they will not only get aroused by 18 years olds in general but 16-17 year olds. I mean lets face it, if you see two sisters in bikinis, a 17 year old and a 18 year old, you are not gong to be mentally turned on by one but not the other.

Even though 18 year olds are adults, it is just leading to online peadophilia for young looking 18 year old girls to be shown repeatedly and portrayed as acceptable.

And of course, if you are 18-24, becoming a porn star, webcam model etc is something that will affect the rest of your life. Yes, 18 year olds are adults, but I still think some things can be graded, particularly when in the US you cannot by a drink but can sign your life away by putting yourself online forever.

Hi

I am just wondering is there a Murakami discord group? I would be interested in talking about the books, discussions, readalongs that kind of thing maybe even zoom discussions. wondering if there already is one?

Hopefully someone has been able to use this solar eclipse today to con some sun worshipping civilization into releasing them

https://preview.redd.it/307g54bglzih1.jpg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e61fa8cb88316b8c853840f813f3adacb21499bb

anyone else listen to Bond podcasts, and would like to have their own similar group discussion about Bond movies, and connect with other bond fans over more than just text on forums etc?

Would anyone be interested in creating a group with the aim of getting Bond fans together so we can plan and then have a zoom meetup to discuss Bond, say a particular movie? I like listening to all the bond podcasts over the last 10 years and would love to experience discussing it with others bond fans in a similar format.

DMs also open if you want to discuss this idea more.

So ive realized this year that I have always been a sex addict, likely suffering from sexual compulsive behavior.

sex phone chatlines, lingerie catalogues, erotica, porn streaming, collecting images (legal) on the porn side. Going to gay saunas despite not even being gay or bisexual, meeting men on apps, working as a male sex worker.

Then, rather more outwardly, sleeping with about 150 different women, having some relationships, but always cheating on my partners.

Despicable selfish behaviour, and somewhat incredibly I NEVER INTERROGATED it until now in my 40s, after various tragedies mean that I am single.

I am trying to stop masturbating, stop porn, and look for meaning in life. For the life of me I struggle to see it, my aim is to move soon to another place and the dream is to meet a lot of women and have sex with them.

I am a little bit into art. I little bit into TV and movies, and books, and exercise. I have negligible hobbies. A few friends who are scattered like the wind. Most of my social life for the last decade involved my ex and her friends and that is gone.

I excluded so many friends and partners in the pursuit of sex/romance. And you know what? I think it was obvious not just should've been obvious to me, but others saw it, they must have seen something was off with me, it's hard to explain when you are always far away.

Now I have nothing. I have countless selfies of me and various mysterious women I dont even remember, but nothing I can proudly display on social media or a mantlepiece like children, or loving partners.

I have come to the conclusion that I am little more than an animal who never tamed his lust, never checked it, never thought it was causing him problems.

What is the meaning of life? I think it is likely love of another human being(s) and I threw that away with lust and sexual compulsive behavior.

I am trying to be better, I just wish I realised all this a lot sooner.

Back in 2021 I used to watch Crypto Banter and other Crypto shows I cant remember. The only other one I remember is Alex Becker who was at least funny and self deprecating about the fact he was probably gonna lose money.

Ran Neur and Crypto Banter was my main go to guy for financial advice on crypto in those heady 2021 days and actually he did predict some alt coin rises. Of course, a lot of the predictions didnt come off, not least about the start decline crypto took in 2021 and from which, if everyone is honest, it has never really recovered.

Over the last few years, Bitcoin has risen and fallen but is doing steady. but every other coin has just died, fading away or is nowhere. near their ALT. There is no movement, no new narratives, no new interest no alt coins rising, certainly none with any interesting or plausible use case.

So to save myself from actually watching these shows.... what do they talk about? They cannot be shilling coins, because they must know that whatever coin it is will be down within a week and will die off. Does anyone actually watch these shows anymore? Why?

a few years ago now, there was an amazing discord group founded and run by some welsh guy, it had loads of users, lots of interaction and groups discussions etc.

Then a few years ago it just seemed to have vanished. im sure there mu be some on here who were part of it.

would be great to recreate it, is there an existing Bond discord group?

I lived in London before, all over and enjoyed I immensely though did not really develop my career too well. Basically my career tops out at about 50k a year, I still haven't paid off my student loan despite graduating 20 years ago, so the idea of buying in London was no even a consideration. I lived with housemates and then a partner is how I managed it.

I have been frugal and managed to buy a house to rent to students elsewhere in the UK, and the mortgage is paid off, its worth about 220k and gives me 1600 pound rental income.

I have also been 'lucky' with a particular insurance payment. Won't go into details but together with savings means I have about £275k cash. I currently live with parents elsewhere in the UK, and work remotely.

I can work remotely so thought I should be able to buy somewhere cheap to live, maybe outside the UK. But am I mad, or could I buy in London? I would love to live in west hampstead, Kilburn, or other zone 2 area.

I am in my mid 40s and after living abroad and in London for many years came back to live with my parents in rural ireland. we have some land rented out to farmers and its extremely rural and isolated, nearest town 12 miles away etc. I think many can related.

Growing up, I wasn't particularly good at GAA and didnt have that many friends. what few friends I had have long since moved away.

Because Im not a blown in but a known face, I find it impossible to fit in or socialize properly. everyone has families and friend groups, and I end up just sitting at home now for a year.

When I drive around, numerous people put their hand up, they 'know' me they know my family. But the constant familiarity feels oppressive.

I am desperate to get out, and am fed up being single and think emigration is the only way to solve that.

I just feel sad for my parents. I have a lot of siblings and some live in the nearest big city with kids, but they really want someone to inherit the land and house and live close by and have a family nearby. Feeling like Ive failed them but I knew 'meeting someone' was never really on the cards here. Whereas in a big city it is relatively easy.

Can anyone relate to this? I just cannot stand living in rural ireland any longer and its put me off even moving to belfast, the nearest city. Dublin feels a bit further away to the extent I might as well move further afield and Im totally unfamiliar with it.

I should add, Im a remote worker and money is no problem regarding moving away and buyng somewhere else. just sad that I cannot make it work living or meeting anyone in the place I grew up.

Nowadays, old people reminisce about pop music from their youth, and 'golden oldie' stations blare out Elvis, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones.

Do you think that in 40 years time, robot driven care homes will look after elderly drooling millennials, and to pacify them, play some cultural material from their youth. Like some 85 year old in 2066 will have to listen to a crackling gramophone repeat of a Joe Rogan discussion with Eric Weinstein on covid, or a Jordan Peterson triggernometry episode?

It does seem to be podcasters have a cultural cache and controversy that just isn't there with pop or movie stars nowadays. And they may be the icons that history remembers as relevant to our time. just a thought.

I was always interested in tech and tried to pivot to a career in IT while living in London in the late 2010s, then after covid thought 'right, lets do this' and quit my job, studied full time, created my own projects, including a few SaaS that I couldn't sell. Following Scrimba I was fairly proficient in React JS, with a bit of SQL, and backend languages.

Maybe not many people will admit to it, but most people like me didnt make it. I never got an interview, and chatGTP and AI have effectively rendered a lot of my learning redundant. Thinking back just 5 years when I would study my code to figure out where a missing semi colon should go now seems ridiculous in the age of AI.

Anyway, Im stuck in my legal career, but have fond memories of learning to code, and the excitement of building and hope for a career change, going to event meetups etc. It wasn't meant to be, should have taken the plunge a few years earlier perhaps.

As I looked over my GitHub this morning, having not added anything in over a year, I just got the good memories back and the feelings of hope and excitement. Kudos to all those that made it!

Since covid, it seems my previously social life has been replaced by remote work and thousands of hours of podcasts, probably like many (yay for the 'roaring twenties')

I do enjoy the hosts tackling the gurus, and reminding me that even the ones I like are very often incorrect and probably audience captured.

Mostly though, I just like listening to two guys who seem to be the most level headed, happy and content, intelligent guys who just live their best lives. Im deeply envious of them.

Sorry for the glazing. it just occurred to me when I switch from listening to the likes of Chris Williamson or Gabor Mate or countless others in the search for how to live a better life, that these guys (Matt and Chris) just seem to have it all effortlessly and dont preach about finding it. Similar to the rest is history guys. I think my mental health would be better if we listened to more contented people talking sense.

Anyway, gazing rant over.

Hi everyone,

I know this is probably a long shot, especially during the summer, but I'm hoping for some advice.

I'm planning to move to Alicante from the UK (I have an EU passport) and I'm looking for a 1 or 2-bedroom apartment to rent for around 3 months, ideally from August until October or November.

The reason is that I'm planning to buy a property in Alicante, but I don't want to rush into a purchase. I'd rather rent for a few months, get to know the city and neighbourhoods, and hopefully complete on a place while I'm there.

Does this sound realistic?

Can anyone recommend the best places to look for short-term rentals? I've looked at Idealista, but I'm wondering if there are other websites, local agencies, or Facebook groups that are commonly used.

Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Hola a todos,

Sé que probablemente sea una petición difícil, sobre todo en verano, pero me gustaría pedir vuestro consejo.

Estoy planeando mudarme a Alicante desde el Reino Unido (tengo pasaporte de la UE) y estoy buscando un apartamento de 1 o 2 dormitorios para alquilar durante unos 3 meses, idealmente desde agosto hasta octubre o noviembre.

Mi intención es comprar una vivienda en Alicante, pero no quiero precipitarme. Prefiero alquilar durante unos meses para conocer bien la ciudad y sus barrios antes de decidirme a comprar.

¿Creéis que esto es una opción realista?

¿Podéis recomendarme las mejores páginas web, agencias inmobiliarias o grupos de Facebook donde encontrar alquileres de corta duración? He mirado en Idealista, pero me preguntaba si hay otras opciones que sean populares entre la gente local.

Muchas gracias de antemano por cualquier consejo.

Hi everyone,

I'm a 44-year-old British/Irish citizen planning to move permanently to Spain later this year.

I work remotely for a UK employer, have around £275k available, and my plan is to buy an apartment outright rather than get a mortgage.

At the moment I'm deciding between Alicante city and Torrevieja. My current thinking is to rent for a few months first while viewing properties before buying.

What I'm looking for is:

• A safe area with a real year-round community rather than a tourist resort.
• Somewhere I can integrate, improve my Spanish and make friends.
• Good opportunities for hobbies such as cycling, running, gym, BJJ or other clubs.
• Easy access to supermarkets, healthcare and public transport.
• An apartment rather than a house but one in which I actually live in with all my stuff including potentially my cat.

If you were starting from scratch in my position, where would you choose and why?

Also, if you've bought property in Alicante Province recently, is there anything you wish you'd known before you started the process?

I'd really appreciate any advice or recommendations. Thanks!

Hi all,

I currently live in Northern Ireland and hold both UK and Irish passports.

I own a mortgage-free rental property in Northern Ireland which currently provides rental income, and I have around £275,000 in savings. I’m considering buying a two-bedroom apartment in Spain, possibly Alicante or Torrevieja, as my permanent home rather than as a holiday property. im 44 years old.

I may be able to continue doing some remote UK-based work, but I would also potentially live partly from rental income/savings while settling in.

I’m trying to understand the financial and tax implications before going too far down this route. In particular:

• If I move to Spain permanently, how would Spanish tax residency affect me. How would my Northern Ireland rental income be treated?
• Would I still have UK tax obligations on the rental income? tbh I dont pay any tax other than rates on it at the moment.
• Are there wealth tax, property tax or reporting issues I should be aware of in Spain?

Also anyone else done this and bought a primary residence and decided to live all in in Spain?

I know I’d need proper professional advice before making any decision, but I’d be interested to hear from anyone who has done something similar or who understands the tax/financial side.

Thanks.

Hi everyone,

I'm 44 and hold both UK and Irish citizenship. I currently live in the UK and own a mortgage-free rental property in Northern Ireland, which provides me with a regular rental income. I also have around £275,000 in savings, so I'm fortunate to be in a position where I could potentially buy a two-bedroom apartment in Alicante outright rather than needing a mortgage. I would also consider Torreviaje,

I'm not looking for a holiday home or somewhere to spend a few months each year. My intention would be for Alicante to become my permanent home and main address.

I currently work in the UK and may be able to continue working remotely, although I'm also open to doing something completely different in Spain in the future if the opportunity arose.

One of the main reasons I'm considering the move is that I'd like to build a new life. I want to learn Spanish properly, integrate into the local community, volunteer, join clubs and activities, and make friends. I'm not particularly interested in nightlife or partying—I'm much more interested in everyday life, becoming part of the community, and making Alicante home for the long term.

I'm looking for a normal residential neighbourhood rather than a holiday resort or retirement complex. Ideally somewhere that's safe, reasonably anonymous, has people living there year-round, and where a modern two-bedroom apartment with air conditioning would be realistic.

Does Alicante sound like a good fit for someone in my situation? If so, which neighbourhoods would you recommend, and are there any areas I should avoid?

I'd also be interested in hearing from anyone who made a similar move in their 40s and whether you found it easy to build a social life and integrate.

Thanks very much for any advice or personal experiences.

Hola a todos,

Tengo 44 años y tengo doble nacionalidad británica e irlandesa. Actualmente vivo en el Reino Unido y soy propietario de una vivienda en Irlanda del Norte que está completamente pagada y alquilada, lo que me proporciona unos ingresos mensuales por alquiler. Además, tengo unos 275.000 £ en ahorros, por lo que afortunadamente podría comprar un apartamento de dos dormitorios en Alicante al contado, sin necesidad de solicitar una hipoteca. También estaría considerando Torrevieja.

No estoy buscando una vivienda vacacional ni un lugar donde pasar unos meses al año. Mi intención sería que Alicante se convirtiera en mi hogar permanente y en mi residencia principal.

Actualmente trabajo en el Reino Unido y es posible que pueda seguir trabajando de forma remota, aunque también estoy abierto a hacer algo completamente diferente en España si surgiera la oportunidad.

Una de las principales razones por las que estoy pensando en mudarme es porque me gustaría empezar una nueva etapa en mi vida. Quiero aprender español de verdad, integrarme en la comunidad local, hacer voluntariado, unirme a clubes y actividades, y hacer amigos. No me interesa especialmente la vida nocturna ni salir de fiesta; me interesa mucho más la vida cotidiana, formar parte de la comunidad y hacer de Alicante mi hogar a largo plazo.

Estoy buscando un barrio residencial normal, no una zona turística ni una urbanización orientada principalmente a jubilados. Idealmente, me gustaría vivir en un lugar seguro, donde pueda tener cierta privacidad, con residentes durante todo el año y donde sea realista encontrar un apartamento moderno de dos dormitorios con aire acondicionado.

¿Creéis que Alicante sería una buena opción para alguien en mi situación? Si es así, ¿qué barrios me recomendaríais y cuáles pensáis que debería evitar?

También me gustaría conocer la experiencia de personas que se hayan mudado a Alicante con unos 40 años y saber si les resultó fácil hacer vida social, integrarse y sentirse parte de la comunidad.

¡Muchas gracias por cualquier consejo o experiencia que podáis compartir!

I moved back 'home' over about 18 months ago from living for years in big cities abroad. Also after a relationship breakup and I thought country living would heal me.

Soon I will be moving on, but I have to announce that living in the country in your middle age as a singleton is just terrible for your mental health. No neighbors, no friends here, dearest big supermaket about 12 miles in various directions.

The winter is just awful especially this one, 3 months of straight rain at the start of the year must have induced some depressive episodes on its own. I had to get used to the darkness of outside and the silence.

It really is asking. lot for single people to try living back home for a while, unless your coupled up or you know you will have a pre existing circle of friends, its just a nightmare. People often castigate the likes of London and living chock a block with 9 housemates and noisy streets and crime and the like, but at least there is life and people around.

Anyway, that is all. Even on a beautiful day like today, the lack of human connection has just got to me.

I just wanted to comment on the current climate on immigration, race and the various divisions in the UK, in light of the recent Unite the Kingdom marches and other political strife.

For many years I was deeply concerned about mass immigration into the UK stretching back to 9/11. Growing up, I read newspapers like The Sun, voted for Brexit in 2016, was obsessed about white demographic decline worried about the rise of Islam and its influence on British society, and genuinely feared that the country was heading towards serious social conflict.

Over time, though, my perspective has changed. Part of that comes from living in London though I know its a rich wealthy area. But also from engaging with people of all backgrounds around the country including religious muslims. It took a while, for many years I was close to muslims while also being afraid of the ideology and therefore whether this friend I was talking to might be part of a group that would ‘take over.’

I've also come to accept that with falling birth rates and an ageing population, significant immigration was probably inevitable if the UK doesn’t want to be a collapsing country. It is and was the price to pay for being a safe, wealthy country. 

I have drifted to being more tolerant and open, partly from repeated exposure to different backgrounds, partly to being grateful for tolerance myself after a fall from grace and needing help. It is sad that you often need to experience hardship to have empathy but that has been a big part of the case for me. 

Watching scenes like the recent Arsenal celebrations in north London, with people of different ethnicities, religions and backgrounds celebrating together, almost made me tear up. It has made me more hopeful for the future. Not because every problem has been solved, but because the reality I see around me is often more positive than the fears I once carried.

I now watch people like Mehdi Hasan who I would have been afraid of 15 years ago and now agree with everything he says. 

The big regret I have is that I never came to this conclusion sooner. I have let distrust and fear govern my politics for too long from an early age for no good reason. I should have lived my life and embraced everyone and everything without fretting about politics and demographic.takeovers. The cynicism I had maybe affected my personality and the life I have led. I wish I had been more positive about society.

The sad thing is, now that I am genuinely hopeful, and more optimistic about the future for everyone, my time is running out. I used to believe that if there was some sharia state in uk hopefully I would be dead by then. Now, I look forward to the future and wish I could see how the youth of this country will run it going forwards, from all backgrounds.

I don’t think I myself will be able to see that far now, and it has left me heartbroken to be leaving when I think everything will be getting better.

Anyway, I just want to say, be hopeful and enjoy the future, you cannot change demographics or whatever, just embrace the society you are in and make it better, kinder, tolerant. Volunteer more if you want to help society mix.  Don’t be like me, and be afraid of change which stopped me fully enjoying living in what is a great society to live in, probably the best in human history.

I believe the UK has many problems but it will get better, and my advice to people afraid of the future divisions is to try and combat it, meet people of different backgrounds, volunteer, and be friendly and open. It will make your own life a lot better.

Note from someone full of regret but full of optimism.