u/ElkLoud5631

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 11 years now. We are still only 27 but I guess I assumed I would have been engaged by now. We only bought a house 2 years ago so wouldn’t necessarily have the money for a wedding he would want at the moment.

Everything else in the relationship is great and I’m fine waiting just want to know if I should be worried. He has mentioned marriage a few times over the past year and I know it will happen one day.

Just want to know AIO by being worried it’s not happened yet

I am wanting to speak to my friend about her lack of support in the past year. My boyfriend says there is no point as it will upset her and won’t change the past but I can’t get my mind off it.

Around a year ago my mum got diagnosed with cancer. I really stepped up for the family and having just moved out I was juggling a lot at once. My Mum spent 10 months having chemo, surgery, radiotherapy and other treatments and it was all very intense. I continued seeing my friends throughout this and only once did this friend ask how my mum was.

At first I thought maybe she didn’t want to bring it up or didn’t know what to say but after a few months i would bring it up a little bit and say how hard a time I’m having. Even after this still no checking how I was dealing with it or how my mum was.

About 2 months into my mums treatment this friend Bought a house, I know this would have taken up a lot of her time but I still can’t help but be upset at the lack of support.

Again, during this she was struggling with low self confidence and thought everyone hated her and was completing therapy for this. I went with her to her doctors appointment, checked on her at least once a week with how she was and even went with her to complete her therapy homework.

she has since said she is now fine and therapy cured her but how can I tell her she has upset me when I know it would upset her? Would that make me just as bad?

I had decided to not mention anything and just keep my distance from her and not put as much time and energy into the friendship. She has since said how much she loves me and how I’m her best friend and how I would 100% be her bridesmaid once she is engaged. All of this was unprompted.

fast forward to today, I had surgery 9 days ago. I had spoken to her about it a few days before and she made sure to ask the date of the surgery.

Day before surgery, no message. Morning of surgery, no message. About 6pm day of surgery I had a message asking if I was going to the fitness class we both attend. I just sent a photo back of me in the hospital bed saying probably not gonna make it lol. She claimed to have gotten the day of surgery mixed up but I didn’t read too much into it.

2 days later she asked if I wanted visitors which I said yes to. Another 2 days later she said she could come today (9 days after surgery) which I said yes to. She turned up in the evening with some chocolate and stayed for an hour or 2 which I appreciated as I had been on my own all day.

She left and now I’m annoyed as I gave her the benefit of the doubt last year but again would expect more of an effort. Yes she visited but she made out like it was a chore and made me know it wasn’t convenient.

Do I let her know that I want more support from her or should I just accept we aren’t as close as I thought?

I am wanting to speak to my friend about her lack of support in the past year. My boyfriend says there is no point as it will upset her and won’t change the past but I can’t get my mind off it.

Around a year ago my mum got diagnosed with cancer. I really stepped up for the family and having just moved out I was juggling a lot at once. My Mum spent 10 months having chemo, surgery, radiotherapy and other treatments and it was all very intense. I continued seeing my friends throughout this and only once did this friend ask how my mum was.

At first I thought maybe she didn’t want to bring it up or didn’t know what to say but after a few months i would bring it up a little bit and say how hard a time I’m having. Even after this still no checking how I was dealing with it or how my mum was.

About 2 months into my mums treatment this friend Bought a house, I know this would have taken up a lot of her time but I still can’t help but be upset at the lack of support.

Again, during this she was struggling with low self confidence and thought everyone hated her and was completing therapy for this. I went with her to her doctors appointment, checked on her at least once a week with how she was and even went with her to complete her therapy homework.

she has since said she is now fine and therapy cured her but how can I tell her she has upset me when I know it would upset her? Would that make me just as bad?

I had decided to not mention anything and just keep my distance from her and not put as much time and energy into the friendship. She has since said how much she loves me and how I’m her best friend and how I would 100% be her bridesmaid once she is engaged. All of this was unprompted.

fast forward to today, I had surgery 9 days ago. I had spoken to her about it a few days before and she made sure to ask the date of the surgery.

Day before surgery, no message. Morning of surgery, no message. About 6pm day of surgery I had a message asking if I was going to the fitness class we both attend. I just sent a photo back of me in the hospital bed saying probably not gonna make it lol. She claimed to have gotten the day of surgery mixed up but I didn’t read too much into it.

2 days later she asked if I wanted visitors which I said yes to. Another 2 days later she said she could come today (9 days after surgery) which I said yes to. She turned up in the evening with some chocolate and stayed for an hour or 2 which I appreciated as I had been on my own all day.

She left and now I’m annoyed as I gave her the benefit of the doubt last year but again would expect more of an effort. Yes she visited but she made out like it was a chore and made me know it wasn’t convenient.

Do I let her know that I want more support from her or should I just accept we aren’t as close as I thought?

My mum was diagnosed with cancer a year ago, she has only just stopped her main treatments (chemo, radiotherapy and surgery) 2 months ago. Once her treatments stopped and my full attention and support wasn’t needed for the family did the past year hit me. Reflecting on the year I realised that not once did my friend ask how my mum was or how I was dealing with it all. I had support from my boyfriend and a very new friend at the time.
I saw my friend last week and she was telling I am her bestest friend, etc and it made me so angry. Surely if I was her best friend she would have asked how my mum was once.

I messaged her telling her how difficult the year has been for me and how I would have appreciated more support at the time. She is now upset that I am upset about it as I hadn’t mentioned needing support and says she would have done whatever I asked at the time. I had told her a few times that I was having a difficult week but never specified as didn’t want to be negative all the time.

AITA for bringing it up and upsetting her when I didn’t give her the opportunity to support me ?

I am wanting to speak to my friend about her lack of support in the past year. Her and another friend have been friends together for the past 5 years.

Around a year ago my mum got diagnosed with cancer. I really stepped up for the family and having just moved out I was juggling a lot at once. My Mum spent 10 months having chemo, surgery, radiotherapy and other treatments and it was all very intense. I continued seeing my friends throughout this and only once did this friend ask how my mum was.

At first I thought maybe she didn’t want to bring it up or didn’t know what to say but after a few months i would bring it up a little bit and say how hard a time I’m having. Even after this still no checking how I was dealing with it or how my mum was.

It really hurt as previously this friend was so good at date and remembering and she expects a lot from me as a friend.

About 2 months into my mums treatment this friend Bought a house, I know this would have taken up a lot of her time but I still can’t help but be upset at the lack of support.

Again, during this she was struggling with low self confidence and thought everyone hated her and was completing therapy for this. I went with her to her doctors appointment, checked on her at least once a week with how she was and even went with her to complete her therapy homework.

she has since said she is now fine and therapy cured her but how can I tell her she has upset me when I know it would upset her? Would that make me just as bad?

I had decided to not mention anything and just keep my distance from her and not put as much time and energy into the friendship. She has since said how much she loves me and how I’m her best friend and how I would 100% be her bridesmaid once she is engaged.

fast forward to today, I had surgery 9 days ago. I had spoken to her about it a few days before and she made sure to ask the date of the surgery.

Day before surgery, no message. Morning of surgery, no message. About 6pm day of surgery I had a message asking if I was going to the fitness class we both attend. I just sent a photo back of me in the hospital bed saying probably not gonna make it lol. She claimed to have gotten the day of surgery mixed up but I didn’t read too much into it.

2 days later she asked if I wanted visitors which I said yes to. Another 2 days later she said she could come today (9 days after surgery) which I said yes to. She turned up in the evening with some chocolate and stayed for an hour or 2 which I appreciated as I had been on my own all day.

She left and now I’m annoyed as I gave her the benefit of the doubt last year but again would expect more of an effort. Yes she visited but she made out like it was a chore and made me know it wasn’t convenient.

WINTA to say something to her about not being a good friend or am I expecting too much and just need to get on With it? This has been effecting me for a long time now

I am wanting to speak to my friend about her lack of support in the past year. Her and another friend have been friends together for the past 5 years.

Around a year ago my mum got diagnosed with cancer. I really stepped up for the family and having just moved out I was juggling a lot at once. My Mum spent 10 months having chemo, surgery, radiotherapy and other treatments and it was all very intense. I continued seeing my friends throughout this and only once did this friend ask how my mum was.

At first I thought maybe she didn’t want to bring it up or didn’t know what to say but after a few months i would bring it up a little bit and say how hard a time I’m having. Even after this still no checking how I was dealing with it or how my mum was.

It really hurt as previously this friend was so good at date and remembering and she expects a lot from me as a friend.

About 2 months into my mums treatment this friend Bought a house, I know this would have taken up a lot of her time but I still can’t help but be upset at the lack of support.

Again, during this she was struggling with low self confidence and thought everyone hated her and was completing therapy for this. I went with her to her doctors appointment, checked on her at least once a week with how she was and even went with her to complete her therapy homework.

she has since said she is now fine and therapy cured her but how can I tell her she has upset me when I know it would upset her? Would that make me just as bad?

I had decided to not mention anything and just keep my distance from her and not put as much time and energy into the friendship. She has since said how much she loves me and how I’m her best friend and how I would 100% be her bridesmaid once she is engaged.

fast forward to today, I had surgery 9 days ago. I had spoken to her about it a few days before and she made sure to ask the date of the surgery.

Day before surgery, no message. Morning of surgery, no message. About 6pm day of surgery I had a message asking if I was going to the fitness class we both attend. I just sent a photo back of me in the hospital bed saying probably not gonna make it lol. She claimed to have gotten the day of surgery mixed up but I didn’t read too much into it.

2 days later she asked if I wanted visitors which I said yes to. Another 2 days later she said she could come today (9 days after surgery) which I said yes to. She turned up in the evening with some chocolate and stayed for an hour or 2 which I appreciated as I had been on my own all day.

She left and now I’m annoyed as I gave her the benefit of the doubt last year but again would expect more of an effort. Yes she visited but she made out like it was a chore and made me know it wasn’t convenient.

WINTA to say something to her about not being a good friend or am I expecting too much and just need to get on With it? This has been effecting me for a long time now