As an Indian ex muslim/atheist how are you dealing with your family, relatives and society? Are you closeted or have you renounced it in front of everyone. People give me a hard time here and sometimes it gets impossible to deal with. Any and all suggestions are welcomed.
I’m 28/F, Indian
i want to share the story my abuse. And I want to ask you all when is the time to forgive them even if they never apologised.
Since early childhood the only way to discipline us ( me and my 5 yr older brother) was only physical abuse by our parents. We come from a middle class family.
i would share few incidents with you.
when I was a toddler my father was alone with me at home and I was crying so he threw me in out front yard. And to this day they tell this story while laughing.
then when I grew up a little , I was 5/6 my parents hosted a Dinner. A man picked me up and made me sit on his lap, instead of saying anything to the man or keeping me away from him. When everyone left, my mother burned my thigh with a candle ( I still have a scar ) just to teach me that I should never let anyone touch me or sit on anyone’s lap. I WAS 5 BTW
next i was 8 yrs old i few classmates pranked with me and told me there’s a holiday and no classes in school the next day, I told the same at my home. But when the bus arrived in the morning, my mother got furious. Later she woke me up tied my hands and me to the bed and forcefully fed me red chilli powder i kept crying and she said next time when you lie remember the consequences. And kept on feeding that. Few neighbours heard my screams and rescued me.
these are only few instances once she beat my brother with a belt to a point where the belt broke.
now when we are older she don’t do anything like that but she proudly tells everyone these stories saying my kids are so good today because I was strict. Punishment is necessary for good upbringing.
and now she acts very cool and friendly she meets with my boyfriend supports my relationship even asked me to marry him. I can’t forgive and forget anything. But I feel guilty that I should let go of everything. Please tell me whether im wrong. Should I forgive her? She never apologised or acknowledged her mistakes, she still thinks it was necessary and she did right by us.