u/Empty-Operation569

Hey everyone, looking for some advice on a delicate situation.
My girlfriend (23F) recently went to a concert and met a guitarist from one of the bands. They hit it off, and fast forward to now this guy literally gifted her a guitar. For free. On top of that he’s been giving her free guitar lessons at his place that last for hours. She told me she’s really tryharding the guitar right now and that they spend a lot of time just talking during these sessions.
I trust my girlfriend completely and I know she’s just genuinely excited about learning music. However this guy’s behavior feels incredibly sketchy to me. A musician giving away free gear and hours of his personal time to a female fan he just met? I'm worried he has predatory intentions.
How do I bring this up to her without sounding making her defensive?

TLDR; I am with my fiance for 4 years, and engaged last year. Things started to get worse and worse after that (had huge fights) I always thought it was the stress of marriage preparetions but I am feeling depressed and feel like I'm being emotionally abused by her. Today was the last straw for me but I am not sure if I really should cancel the wedding and if i WIBTAH.

Todays fight was about how to go to the venue. (From directly the hairdresser or from my parents home) She accused me of being a mommys boy, accused my mom making me fight her wars?, called my mom idiot and said she wanted to break up (even after I said I didnt know this was a big issue for her and we can do whatever she wants) Then I said its a big desicion to make just days before the marriage, she was talking hurtful and I didnt want to talk to her right now.

We didnt talk for 5-6 hours. After I called her she said she talked with her family about breaking up with me, also talked with couple of friends, since it took so long for me to call her and apologize. I said that she is out of her mind and I wanted to think whether I really want to go through with this and wanted time to think about all. I dont have much time lol so I want to have others opinions.

I made what turned out to be the tragic mistake of logging into AA.com with my VPN turned on.

ETA: I should have made it clear that it was a new browser too. It all happened in real time, got a message to call to reset my password as soon as I hit return.

It triggered a fraud investigation. It told me to call to reset my password. This was the day Spirit Airlines ended so it took three days to get through to customer service. They gave me another number that nobody ever answered and or called back when I hit #1 for a call back.

I finally talked to someone. My account is "under investigation" and I can't log in or use my miles until the investigation is finished, and that could be 30 days. I can't use AA Shopping, AA Dining, or Simply Miles. I can't change a flight I booked for July. I can't even see the reservation. I need to send someone flowers but I can't earn loyalty points.

I told them I have lots of travel to book and I'm overdue and they are leaving me no choice but to fly other airlines and that makes no sense. Especially because I know exactly what happened. I was almost weeping with frustration. She left me on hold for 20 more minutes, then came back and said basically "tough sh*t."

(She did say I was welcome to pay with a credit card over the phone, but if I have to pay cash instead of miles, I'm sure as hell not giving it to them.)

I am Executive Platinum with 3 AA credit cards. Some loyalty program. This is crazy.

Update: Okay, from the comments it sounds like it's not the VPN and maybe there was fraud or some kind of attack that has nothing to do with me logging in. So I guess I have to wait until they resolve it.

Update 2: I love how y'all think I'm some kind of mastermind trying to scam AA out of a trip to Key West or something. I'm just some girl trying to plan her summer. They specifically said someone tried to access my account. There's no reason to question my loyalty status after 20 years.

Update 3: Someone IRL just pointed out that me not calling immediately when it happened was probably sus too. I mean, I did call immediately, but it took me several days to connect. There's only so long you can sit on hold until you have to get on with your life.

It's been a very difficult week and I thought I'd update you on it. I appreciate all the comments and they were helpful to me in realizing several things. The first is that the party was never really for Lucy. You see, this year I asked my husband to throw me a birthday party. I had high expectations and it turned out to be a small gathering with less than 10 people, no decorations and a supermarket cake since my husband started planning 3 days before. This party was a redemption for me and I admit it.

The second thing is how intrusive I've been with Lucy, but I've been in that girl's life for 7 years, I watched her grow up and I love her, so it's not easy for me to see how she ignores me, how she rejects my son and the lack of love that she has for us. I apologized to her and she didn't say anything.

Two days after my first post, a woman called saying that Lucy didn't attend her therapy session that week. I asked my husband about it and he admitted that she has social anxiety, which made her uncomfortable being at a crowded party, so they left. That broke my heart. I asked my husband why he didn't tell me and he said "she didn't want me to tell you, so I didn't". I couldn't believe it.

Last Friday, I got the bill for the party. It was more expensive than I thought (around 5 figures) and I discussed it with my husband. He couldn't believe that I spent so much and he immediately stipulated that he won't give me a penny since it was my idea and I did it without anyone's permission. We fought about it since I don't have that much and he was adamant. He told me that with that money we could have renovated the house or had a family trip and it's my problem. Upon insisting, he said something along the lines of "we weren't even at your stupid party, so stop bothering me".

We fought about it. I yelled at him that Lucy will never see us as family or see me as a parent if he acts like that. He said that he didn't marry me looking for a new mom for Lucy, and that if I keep trying to meddle in her business and doing stupid things (quoting the party) then we're done, because he's sick of my stupidity and that I embarrassed them. That was it for me, so I took my son and we left.

I haven't received a single call from him. I saw on social media that they went out to dinner, Lucy quoted "a good family time" and they both looked happy. It's clear that they don't care about us. Toby is inconsolable over all of this and so am I. My mom insists that I find a divorce lawyer, but I think I'm pregnant (not confirmed yet) and I don't want to raise another child with an absent father.