u/Enough_Visit

So, a few months ago I had a bleeding problem that wouldn’t stop for weeks because of PCOS. I went to a doctor, and she prescribed Diane-35. Her plan was for me to take it for only six months with a break to bleed every month while also following a PCOS healing program—eating healthy meals consistently and exercising regularly.

The problem was that I knew I couldn’t realistically stick to that lifestyle for six months. I can’t afford to eat on a strict meal schedule every day I don’t have enough money, so I asked if I could just stay on the pill continuously instead to help stop my horrible period until I can be able to afford healthier life style. She refused and told me it could negatively affect my hormones.

I ended up taking it continuously anyway, even though she advised against it. Honestly, I feel like my quality of life has improved so much. Before that, another doctor had refused to prescribe birth control altogether and simply told me to eat healthier and exercise. Since I wasn’t getting the help I needed, I decided to take it on my own.

Now I’m being judged by other women in my life. They keep telling me I’m doing something dangerous and reckless, and they’ve been scolding me for taking it without my doctor’s approval.

What do you think? Should I stop? I really can’t bear having periods, but I’m worried that if I see another doctor, they won’t allow me to stay on birth control continuously.

My brother and my SIL are having a baby next month, and every time we get together she tells me to hold or play with babies so I can “practice,” because she knows I don’t like kids. She turns every conversation we have towards me babysitting kids.

I have nephews from my other brother, and their parents have never tried to force me to play with them. But for some reason, this SIL—who isn’t even their mom—keeps pushing me to babysit them whenever we’re together.

She’s honestly starting to get on my nerves, and I’m worried they’ll expect me to babysit once their baby is born. I have a lot of free time right now because I couldn’t get into college yet, although I’m still trying. I’m afraid they’ll see that free time as me being available to watch their baby since they both work and plan to bring her over often.

The thing is, I’m afraid I’ll come across as rude and that everyone will think I’m being difficult or too much. Almost everyone at our family gatherings holds the babies and spends time with their nieces and nephews, so I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
At the same time, I can’t help feeling frustrated with my SIL because she keeps pushing it. It feels like she’s not respecting that I’m just not comfortable with it.

It’s been almost three or four years since I started turning away from Islam after realizing certain things about how women should be treated based on what’s written in quran…etc, along with many other issues that I just couldn’t ignore.

One thing that also pushed me away is how a lot of Muslims have no humanity, living in a Muslim and Arab society I know how they think and act, almost everyone thinks if you don’t do what Allah tells you, you deserve the worst, they seem to believe that only Muslims deserve happiness, kindness, or compassion. If you’re not Muslim, you’re automatically seen as a bad person or less deserving. This religion is brainwashing millions of people. If you don’t pray five times a day, it takes a toll on them and they start panic like you just did something very bad and they might hit you or punish you for it.

The thing is, I’m still afraid of going to hell. Sometimes I wonder if I’m wrong and Islam really is the true religion. At the end of the day, I don’t think there’s any way to know with absolute certainty whether any religion is true or not.
But even with those fears, I can’t bring myself to go back. I’ve grown to resent it, and I don’t think I could ever look at it the way I used to.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I’ve been isolating myself and hiding from people because of the way I looked last few years since 2020. It feels like my appearance is taking over my life.

Objectively, I know I’m not unattractive, but my biggest struggle is perfectionism. Growing up, my brothers, father, mother and my aunts, constantly criticized what I ate. even though I wasn’t overweight at the time. But I had a bit of a bad eating habits I think bcs I had pcos and insulin resistance which caused weird cravings but I didn’t got diagnosed until lately. the point is, Those comments stayed with me and eventually contributed to an eating disorder and body dysmorphia.

The hardest part is that I’ve gained a significant amount of weight now for the past three years, and even if I lose it, there are things like stretch marks and other changes that can’t simply be undone.

I don’t know how to live without constantly fearing criticism or judgment. It feels exhausting.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you cope with it?

This is going to be long.

I get criticized a lot for loving my alone time. Everyone thinks I’m weird for it, even though I’m literally not hurting anyone. Most of the time I skip gatherings because they last for hours and honestly it just bores me sitting around talking the whole time. But whenever I do go, I end up feeling like I’m weird or judged for being distant or I get made fun of. They say they love me and miss me, but at the same time they constantly judge me for not being like them. I’m probably the only really introverted person on both sides of my family.

I used to genuinely enjoy spending time with my cousins when we were younger since we all grew up together, but now whenever I’m around them I just feel judged. They always pressure me to act more like them or get mad at me for something, they treat me like I’m some kind of joke or weirdo. They pick at small things constantly. For example, I’m not that close with my nephews and they all know I don’t really like playing with kids or hold them, I’m just nice to them but not that close. and Whenever one of the babies starts crying, all my girl cousins start scolding me for not holding the baby, even though the child literally has a mother there. They always pressure me to babysit, I feel like they do this because they know I don’t like kids, and when I don’t, they all start picking on me and treating me disrespectfully. This is just one of the many reasons I get treated badly by people for not fitting into social norms. It feels like you’re not allowed to have your own preferences or boundaries without being judged for it. No matter what, you’re expected to force yourself to act a certain way just to be respected or accepted. And if you don’t, people start treating you like there’s something wrong with you instead of simply understanding that not everyone enjoys the same things or has the same personality.

And it’s not like I can just cut them off or stay distant forever. I’m around them a lot because family is a huge thing in Middle Eastern culture.

I think I became more introverted because during puberty I got criticized a lot by my own family and relatives about my body changing, even though I wasn’t fat, and also because of my acne. They never really talked to me about normal things, the conversation would always somehow turn into my appearance. So from a young age I started avoiding them and isolating myself. It’s not even social anxiety or anything like that. I can go normal at gatherings and stuff, I just genuinely don’t enjoy being around them because the topics and interests feel so superficial and draining to me.

I’m in my early twenties and constantly afraid that people will notice my flaws, especially my skin flaws, I wear baggy clothes all the time, even at home, because I’m scared my family will see that I've gained weight. I skip many family gatherings and events due to my clothes getting tighter since I’m actually gaining weight these past few years because of my emotional eating habits that I can’t stop.

This fear started in my teenage years, but back then I was thinner, so it was easier to hide and easier to find clothes and feel comfortable in them. Since I was 12, my brothers often criticized my eating habits saying I’m getting bigger and obese, and I experienced strange cravings, possibly due to hormones, PCOS, or insulin resistance—though I wasn’t diagnosed until recently, but it can explain my weird feelings towards unhealthy food especially carbs.

My father also commented on my weight to my mother, and she would scold me too if I asked her to order some food for me, even though I wasn’t overweight or obese at the time, like not even close to it, I was just growing as a 12-year-old. I also got a lot of comments about my acne from relatives. I had weird acne, again I think it was bcs of pcos, I don’t fully understand if these experiences caused my fear of judgment, but it’s exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has healed from similar feelings. This fear has deeply affected my life, preventing me from attending college because of anxiety, low self-esteem, and constant worry about my appearance.

My brother and sil both have jobs and they just had their baby few weeks ago and they told us that they’re gonna drop her at our house expecting me and my mom to take care of the baby everyday while they’re working or every weekend and mom of course wouldn’t refuse but for me I always made it clear that I don’t want to babysit. My mom told me you have to start learning how to take care of a kid, They know I don’t like babies and my sil keep saying I have to do it.

and I’m unemployed, I have nothing to do most of the time but I never liked spending time with kids especially newborns because you have to take care of them and hold them all the time. I don’t want to do it, would I be an asshole? Shouldn’t one of them leave their job to take care of her because they’re the ones who decided to have a child?.

Update : For those scolding me about why I’m living rent-free with my mom, and saying that she should kick me out... etc. Arab families don’t kick their kids out to the street as soon as they’re adults, not even when they’re 40. That’s literally how all Arab families here are. it’s VERY, VERY UNCOMMON to kick your kids out to live on their own. Asking kids to pay rent while they’re still living with their parents as an adults is also very uncommon here and never been an issue or a demand to live with each other. Sorry, it’s a strange concept for y’all 😚.