Does anyone wear baggy clothes all the time, even at home, because they fear being judged for their skin and weight?
I’m in my early twenties and constantly afraid that people will notice my flaws, especially my skin flaws, I wear baggy clothes all the time, even at home, because I’m scared my family will see that I've gained weight. I skip many family gatherings and events due to my clothes getting tighter since I’m actually gaining weight these past few years because of my emotional eating habits that I can’t stop.
This fear started in my teenage years, but back then I was thinner, so it was easier to hide and easier to find clothes and feel comfortable in them. Since I was 12, my brothers often criticized my eating habits saying I’m getting bigger and obese, and I experienced strange cravings, possibly due to hormones, PCOS, or insulin resistance—though I wasn’t diagnosed until recently, but it can explain my weird feelings towards unhealthy food especially carbs.
My father also commented on my weight to my mother, and she would scold me too if I asked her to order some food for me, even though I wasn’t overweight or obese at the time, like not even close to it, I was just growing as a 12-year-old. I also got a lot of comments about my acne from relatives. I had weird acne, again I think it was bcs of pcos, I don’t fully understand if these experiences caused my fear of judgment, but it’s exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if anyone has healed from similar feelings. This fear has deeply affected my life, preventing me from attending college because of anxiety, low self-esteem, and constant worry about my appearance.