u/Equivalent_Tell3597

Pozdrav, studentarijo.

Pitanje iz naslova odnosi se na to da li vas hvata jeza na pomisao da se uskoro završava, teorijski makar gledano, deo života koji bi trebalo da bude obeležen stalnim druženjem sa svojim vršnjacima, ludih provoda, kada se ne očekuje mnogo od tebe u životu, kada barem izgleda najlakše naći partnera, i drugo. Da li imate neki žal za neproživljenim tokom tih dana i mislite li da neke stvari neće moći da se nadoknade kasnije?

Naravno, verujem da ima i vas koji niste mogli toliko bezbrižno da proživite te dane. Neki od vas su i radili ili bar morali da uče prekomerno kako bi se finansijski obezbedili, barem putem stipendija.

Među njima sam upravo bio i ja i sada kada vidim koliko mi malo još ostaje do kraja, te izjedam se u poslednje vreme svaki dan.

Prve dve godine faksa su mi bile prilično teške. S obzirom na to da živim u Beogradu od rođenja, nisam mogao da iskusim čari života u studentskom domu. Živeo sam bukvalno na gradilištu, zbog renoviranja stana.

Za roditelje u godinama pred penzijom, koji rade nq poslove, bio je to ogroman udar na budžet, a samo bih roditeljima stao na žulj ako bih uporedo sa studijama radio, jer bi im bila smrtna kazna da nisam bio na budžetu. Boga sam molio da mi padne neka stipendija, jer u protivnom išao bih na faks bez pišljive pare. Dve godine sam se fokusirao na faks, koji srećom manje-više volim i perspektivan je, ali sam žrtvovao deo socijalnog i emotivni život samo kako bi se fokusirao na isti. Ali opet, prve dve godine kada je trebalo da se privikavam, osećao sam gorak ukus prefokusiranja.

Lepši deo faksa mi je bilo članstvo u organizacijama, volontiranje, pa i blokade na kojima sam upoznao dosta novih prijatelja sa kojima se stalno družim. Ali problem nastaje kad pomislim koliko je kasno to meni došlo u životu. Postavljam sebi pitanje koliko ću to moći da negujem kada budem bio zaposlen? Da li stvarno sve postaje tako turobno? Da li meni vreme da steknem ljubavno iskustvo ističe?

Treća sam godina, ali smatram da je praktično za mene kraj kad u januaru budem krenuo na part-time praksu, jer jebiga, roditelje krhkog zdravlja koji su se žestoko mučili da bih ja mogao da se obrazujem moram poslati u penziju. Sve što sam od njih celog života slušao to je strah od gladi, besparice, krova nad glavom, i tako dalje...

Usled nedostatka finansija, ali i straha od sopstvene sramote, dugo sam odbijao da zatražim pomoć psihoterapeuta. Problemi sa kojima se suočavam mi tek s vremena na vreme ugrožavaju sve što radim, ali odlučio sam da ne dozvolim da se više patim i da zatražim pomoć.

Stoga postavljam pitanje svima koji su se podvrgavali psihoterapiji, kako vam je to pomoglo da se rešite problema koji su vam visili nad glavom. Koliko vam je sesija pomoglo da se osećate drugačije? Kako je izgledala jedna sesija, šta ste sve pričali sa terapeutom i u kojoj meri je to bilo slobodno? I naravno, šta je vas to nagnalo da odete kod terapeuta.

Takođe, mogli biste preporučiti nekog dobrog terapeuta u Beogradu i naravno navesti koliko košta jedna sesija. Svaki odgovor je dobrodošao :)

And that isn't first time for same thing to happen. It's the uncountable time when i got a rejection.

All the results i've achieved in the life - history and physics competition prizes, the best student in generation title in secondary school, all money i have earnt due to living in extreme poverty (living in Serbia, Europe) in disfunctional family, totally doesn't matter when there is no chance for guys like me to find a ideal partner.

But it's not true that i don't have other qualities besides academic performance, i'm going on karaoke every week to sing, participating in pub quizzes, having other friends, even female friends.

And that isn't enough. Sometimes i think everyone, even this reddit hates me. I thought the situation will be better at the uni, but it's still the same shit.

If situation doesn't get better until my 23rd birthday in January 2027, i'll commit suicide on that day.

And that isn't first time for same thing to happen. It's the uncountable time when i got a rejection.

All the results i've achieved in the life - history and physics competition prizes, the best student in generation title in secondary school, all money i have earnt due to living in extreme poverty (living in Serbia, Europe) in disfunctional family, totally doesn't matter when there is no chance for guys like me to find a ideal partner.

But it's not true that i don't have other qualities besides academic performance, i'm going on karaoke every week to sing, participating in pub quizzes, having other friends, even female friends.

And that isn't enough. Sometimes i think everyone, even this reddit hates me. I thought the situation will be better at the uni, but it's still the same shit.

If situation doesn't get better until my 23rd birthday in January 2027, i'll commit suicide on that day.

And that isn't first time for same thing to happen. It's the uncountable time when i got a rejection.

All the results i've achieved in the life - history and physics competition prizes, the best student in generation title in secondary school, all money i have earnt due to living in extreme poverty (living in Serbia, Europe) in disfunctional family, totally doesn't matter when there is no chance for guys like me to find a ideal partner.

But it's not true that i don't have other qualities besides academic performance, i'm going on karaoke every week to sing, participating in pub quizzes, having other friends, even female friends.

And that isn't enough. Sometimes i think everyone, even this reddit hates me. I thought the situation will be better at the uni, but it's still the same shit.

If situation doesn't get better until my 23rd birthday in January 2027, i'll commit suicide on that day.

Nedavno sam se setio čuvene rečenice iz Povratka otpisanih, pa bih pitao ovde šta ona zapravo znači ukoliko je neko odgonetnuo. Neki su mi pričali da ona prosto ne znači nikakav prevod sa nemačkog ili ništa slično.

Pojašnjenja radi, pod "nemogućom" porodicom podrazumevao bih odrastanje s striktnim roditeljima, u uslovima gde imaš oba ili jednog emocionalno nedostupnog roditelja ili teškog ignoranta, prezaštinički nastrojene roditelje... Ili recimo, kao nažalost ne tako retka situacija, da neko od roditelja počne da se alkoholiše ili da je nasilnik.

Suština pitanja bila bi da sročite u kojoj meri je celo iskustvo odrastanja u lošoj porodici uticalo na socijalizaciju, što bi podrazumevalo i odnos prema ljubavnom životu. Okruženje koje bi, prirodno, trebalo da bude naveća podrška detetu i oslonac u odrastanju, na kraju ispadne kao najveći neprijatelj.

Prisustvovanje scenama roditeljskih svađa koje se na kraju završe tučom ili dugim periodima međusobnog nekomuniciranja, osećanje manjka razuma čak i za najosnovnije potrebe deteta, nedostatak bilo kakve podrške u zamenu za prikriveno nametanje potrebe za težnjom ka ostvarenju njihovih neostvarenih želja... To su samo su neki od razloga zašto deca mogu da provedu godine u depresiji preispitujući, pre svega, njihov odnos, i da na to gledaju kao opomenu pazeći kako će se odnositi prema stupanju u veze. Na to bih dodao i poteškoće u opštoj socijalizaciji, što dodatno utiče na smanjenje šansi za uspeh u ljubavi.

Počeću prvo od primera svojih poznanika. Jedna drugarica mi je godinama dete razvedenih roditelja te je s tim u vezi formirala stav da ne želi uopšte da nalazi dečka tokom osnovnih studija da joj ne poremeti planove za završetak studija. Njena majka se u toku studija udala te je iste i napustila, što se na kraju razvodom završilo. Poznajem i još jednu osobu koja se slično postavila u istoj situaciji.

Da li se slično desilo i vama?

I know anyone can't give me a precise know-how guide about my specific context, but i'm looking for general advice how to behave in order to give her a good impression about myself as person.

So, i finally gathered balls to invite girl i like on first date, which we agreed to happen in next 10-15 days after her exams end (she is very passionate nerd like me, so we strongly respect each other in that field). We met each other on extracuricular activity on our college months ago, but we started to hang out more intensively in recent time. On our first group meetup, i thought she was interested in my personality, and in reverse i expressed interest for her, so we had talk about that when we stood up alone in front of the table in bar, for whole night.

But, since it's, for now, my first succesful date invite ever, i'm concerned about it will fail in the end. I'm 22, so it's weird for men my age to be inexperienced with women (at least, in the Balkans, Europe where i live) in terms of love, relationships, and sex.

Since i lived under very hard conditions last three years (financially, dealing with ill old parents, trying to do best at the college...) i had a pause from my trials to find a girlfriend. But meanwhile, i managed to get some female friends, and i used to go with them out, even 1 to 1, but on all load i had to deal with, relationship with person who was under stress every day would feel for some girl like hell.

And in the end, i must avoid any sign of inexperience which can be forseeable for her. With those friends, i didn't talk about sex or etc, since it would feel unpleasant to themselves.

So, what will you propose in my situation? Clothing, behavior, topics, and other tips and tricks for first date and keeping contact after it?

Thanks in advance!

I know anyone can't give me a precise know-how guide about my specific context, but i'm looking for general advice how to behave in order to give her a good impression about myself as person.

So, i finally gathered balls to invite girl i like on first date, which we agreed to happen in next 10-15 days after her exams end (she is very passionate nerd like me, so we strongly respect each other in that field). We met each other on extracuricular activity on our college months ago, but we started to hang out more intensively in recent time. On our first group meetup, i thought she was interested in my personality, and in reverse i expressed interest for her, so we had talk about that when we stood up alone in front of the table in bar, for whole night.

But, since it's, for now, my first succesful date invite ever, i'm concerned about it will fail in the end. I'm 22, so it's weird for men my age to be inexperienced with women (at least, in the Balkans, Europe where i live) in terms of love, relationships, and sex.

Since i lived under very hard conditions last three years (financially, dealing with ill old parents, trying to do best at the college...) i had a pause from my trials to find a girlfriend. But meanwhile, i managed to get some female friends, and i used to go with them out, even 1 to 1, but on all load i had to deal with, relationship with person who was under stress every day would feel for some girl like hell.

And in the end, i must avoid any sign of inexperience which can be forseeable for her. With those friends, i didn't talk about sex or etc, since it would feel unpleasant to themselves.

So, what will you propose in my situation? Clothing, behavior, topics, and other tips and tricks for first date and keeping contact after it?

Thanks in advance!

I know anyone can't give me a precise know-how guide about my specific context, but i'm looking for general advice how to behave in order to give her a good impression about myself as person.

So, i finally gathered balls to invite girl i like on first date, which we agreed to happen in next 10-15 days after her exams end (she is very passionate nerd like me, so we strongly respect each other in that field). We met each other on extracuricular activity on our college months ago, but we started to hang out more intensively in recent time. On our first group meetup, i thought she was interested in my personality, and in reverse i expressed interest for her, so we had talk about that when we stood up alone in front of the table in bar, for whole night.

But, since it's, for now, my first succesful date invite ever, i'm concerned about it will fail in the end. I'm 22, so it's weird for men my age to be inexperienced with women (at least, in the Balkans, Europe where i live) in terms of love, relationships, and sex.

Since i lived under very hard conditions last three years (financially, dealing with ill old parents, trying to do best at the college...) i had a pause from my trials to find a girlfriend. But meanwhile, i managed to get some female friends, and i used to go with them out, even 1 to 1, but on all load i had to deal with, relationship with person who was under stress every day would feel for some girl like hell.

And in the end, i must avoid any sign of inexperience which can be forseeable for her. With those friends, i didn't talk about sex or etc, since it would feel unpleasant to themselves.

So, what will you propose in my situation? Clothing, behavior, topics, and other tips and tricks for first date and keeping contact after it?

Thanks in advance!

Čitajući poslove na slične teme ovde na redditu, vrlo retko sam nailazio na informacije o poslovima u bankama, a da nisu šalterski službenici i slično, te zato pitanje formulišem na ovaj način.

Uglavnom, pozicije za koje se interesujem su u rizicima (kreditni, tržišni, i slično). Svestan sam da u čitavom risk odeljenju postoje raznolike pozicije, stoga postavljam pitanja za pojedinačna iskustva ljudi koji su radili ovakve poslove. Kakve su početne i najviše plate, kako se napreduje, radna atmosfera i slična pitanja.