u/Excellent_Fun3511

​

I F21 left for college a couple years ago and my sister stayed back. She's had it rough in the house after leaving her first college. My mom and her clashed heads a lot especially with her being out of school without a job or a higher ed path. My sister took the time she needed and is back in a new program.

I'm staying home for the summer and I have to sleep in her room. A week or two ago we were talking and she told me she hated me. Our whole family. Hate has always been a strong word, my mom told us never to use it but she told me she hated us and I just sat there and acted like there weren't tears falling down my face. Asking her what we can do to fix it bc even if my feelings are hurt I still want to find the root of the problem.

My sister feels like she gets the worst treatment of us all. She is the eldest (only by a minute) between me and my brother. My mom was disappointed in her life choices when she moved back after her first school but she is proud of her now for getting to this new school. There are other things my mom's not happy with like my sister's thieving bf or her adittude in the morning.

To the actual story, my sister asks me to let her know where her ride is coming bc she has to be on campus at 2 for her test. She also has pot luck for class and pasta in the oven. Her phone broke so she couldn't call herself, I called her ride and left the room around 12ish forgetting to let her know the person who was going to pick her up switched to our mom's bf. Time goes by and she sticks her head out of her room around 1:37 and asks where is her ride.

My mom's bf is waiting on her while we are arguing because of the ride mix up. I tell her to just hurry up b/c he's waiting on her outside. I leave the room and come back 7 minutes later b/c my mom told me she was going to get left bc her ride had something to do later. She still isn't dressed (in uniform) It's like 1:50 and she tells me this is my fault. She's gonna be late b/c I should have told her the ride switched. I told her she should have got up herself before 1:40 to ask for her ride and get dressed if I didn't get the info to her timely b/c it's her life. I was doing a favor and forgot to remind her of the end result. I didn't see it as a big deal she's still going to school and now her rides closer. So i tell her I'm sorry for the mix up but you need to go now.

My mom hears us arguing and tells my sister to hurry up before she leaves, she yelled like she was frustrated with a toddler refusing to get moving. That triggered my sister she started going on about sides in the family. To her, Mom only takes up for me and my brother and I'm never on her side I'm just playing both. I don't like when she does this we are a family there doesn't need to be sides. My mom is yelling at her to go to her test, my sister is yelling at my mom now about sides and how she never gets any defense from our mom, mind u this the the first time there seeing each other for the day. Everyone has been locked in their rooms. I'm yelling at her to stop talking to our mom loud and accusatory especially when she's the one who preaches the most about respecting your mother. (If you can't tell now it's been a screening match). She's going on about how she was depending on us and waiting on us to tell her about her ride and my mom was like that's the problem.

My younger brother (M16) comes out hearing us and tries to calm down our mom telling her to stop arguing with our sister. She listens but he's our baby and it's more of a cute attempt than actually working. My mom and sister are still arguing with my sister comparing us to her; my brother's punishments compared to hers (he gets away with more as a teen than she did). My freedom compared to hers, my curfew can be less strict. I didn't want to say it but it was going jealous or envy and I told her that and that made her more mad. She's yelling at my mom and my mom says that thing most parents do when they're frustrated but never mean. "If you wanna be grown you can get the fuck out" my sister took her up on it. She put all her stuff in trash bags and wrecked her room like an angry bf b/c I'm in here.

My twin and I share every birthday together and it means a lot to me. We only didn't spend our 18th together cuz it was the first day of college and I was 2 states away. That being said it's OUR birthday not mine not hers ours. She knows I don't like when she calls it mine or hers. So as she's packing so starts saying I hope you enjoy you birthday by yourself - the one we've been trying to plan the last 3 months, that I am expected to pay the majority for. She starts going on about how none of us love her only our auntie that's picking her up. What we have isn't love or care for her, which is why when her fist message after leaving was sending me my birthday nail and hair inspos and telling me to enjoy myself I said I love u and she said yeah right!?!? That alone makes me wanna be less nice.

She sent me something to rile me up that had nothing to do with our argument the next day she asks me if I'm still paying her 200$ phone bill 3 days in a row.

I sent her this but I don't think she's going to respond she might not even read it. I always had a feeling she hated us but hearing it was differ it really hurts to hear that from a twin you live more than anything especially when she steps over every expression of love or vulnerability.

"Why should I give u anything when you tell me you hate me and try your hardest to hurt my feelings when you're hurting? I've always loved and cared about u. I actively helped u out when u left maybe not a lot but definitely more then someone should after listening to what u said. I don't want to dismiss u feeling ganged up on but that wasn't any of our intentions. We were already arguing and mom jumped at your disrespected mom and our brother and I are trying to play peace maker. After all this hateful shit you text only to make me mad over our birthday and ask for money. We care about your feelings why can't u care about anyone else? I don't get how you don't see how much love and care we have for u. I want to make this message more thoughtful and remind u of how we love u but I'm not, I'm mad and hurt."

I think she probably needs more support not to be called names. She's hurting and sad and lashing out, but her lashings hurt so bad it makes you wish you never tried to help.

I want to block her or send a message saying I won't talk until she apologizes. But I don't want to leave her hurting but she left and basically told me fuck you should I even try? At what point do I stop letting her disrespect me for the sake of her mood.

I'm conflicted about the situation. Was it too nice? Was it not what she needed? Too negative, or does it sound like a lack of accountability on my part? I don't know what I can do. She needs to learn to be happy with herself and the family she has.

How should you respond when you know, a more than likely depressed family member screams they hate you so much they hope they die so you can hurt. She said that one to my mom during the argument and to me when she told me she hated us.

I saw my mom break down after that, both of us did when she left. I don't want to call any of us Ass holes but no matter the hurt I think it was my sister this time. She's been hurting and it's reflecting, I think she gets it from our mom honestly.

I'm sorry for posting family business on the Internet but fuck who can you talk to if not strangers?

What should I do/ say?

Am I overthinking?

Forgive the typos this is my first post, and I already spent more than enough time typing this.

​

I F21 left for college a couple years ago and my sister stayed back. She's had it rough in the house after leaving her first college. My mom and her clashed heads a lot especially with her being out of school without a job or a higher ed path. My sister took the time she needed and is back in a new program.

I'm staying home for the summer and I have to sleep in her room. A week or two ago we were talking and she told me she hated me. Our whole family. Hate has always been a strong word, my mom told us never to use it but she told me she hated us and I just sat there and acted like there weren't tears falling down my face. Asking her what we can do to fix it bc even if my feelings are hurt I still want to find the root of the problem.

My sister feels like she gets the worst treatment of us all. She is the eldest (only by a minute) between me and my brother. My mom was disappointed in her life choices when she moved back after her first school but she is proud of her now for getting to this new school. There are other things my mom's not happy with like my sister's thieving bf or her adittude in the morning.

To the actual story, my sister asks me to let her know where her ride is coming bc she has to be on campus at 2 for her test. She also has pot luck for class and pasta in the oven. Her phone broke so she couldn't call herself, I called her ride and left the room around 12ish forgetting to let her know the person who was going to pick her up switched to our mom's bf. Time goes by and she sticks her head out of her room around 1:37 and asks where is her ride.

My mom's bf is waiting on her while we are arguing because of the ride mix up. I tell her to just hurry up b/c he's waiting on her outside. I leave the room and come back 7 minutes later b/c my mom told me she was going to get left bc her ride had something to do later. She still isn't dressed (in uniform) It's like 1:50 and she tells me this is my fault. She's gonna be late b/c I should have told her the ride switched. I told her she should have got up herself before 1:40 to ask for her ride and get dressed if I didn't get the info to her timely b/c it's her life. I was doing a favor and forgot to remind her of the end result. I didn't see it as a big deal she's still going to school and now her rides closer. So i tell her I'm sorry for the mix up but you need to go now.

My mom hears us arguing and tells my sister to hurry up before she leaves, she yelled like she was frustrated with a toddler refusing to get moving. That triggered my sister she started going on about sides in the family. To her, Mom only takes up for me and my brother and I'm never on her side I'm just playing both. I don't like when she does this we are a family there doesn't need to be sides. My mom is yelling at her to go to her test, my sister is yelling at my mom now about sides and how she never gets any defense from our mom, mind u this the the first time there seeing each other for the day. Everyone has been locked in their rooms. I'm yelling at her to stop talking to our mom loud and accusatory especially when she's the one who preaches the most about respecting your mother. (If you can't tell now it's been a screening match). She's going on about how she was depending on us and waiting on us to tell her about her ride and my mom was like that's the problem.

My younger brother (M16) comes out hearing us and tries to calm down our mom telling her to stop arguing with our sister. She listens but he's our baby and it's more of a cute attempt than actually working. My mom and sister are still arguing with my sister comparing us to her; my brother's punishments compared to hers (he gets away with more as a teen than she did). My freedom compared to hers, my curfew can be less strict. I didn't want to say it but it was going jealous or envy and I told her that and that made her more mad. She's yelling at my mom and my mom says that thing most parents do when they're frustrated but never mean. "If you wanna be grown you can get the fuck out" my sister took her up on it. She put all her stuff in trash bags and wrecked her room like an angry bf b/c I'm in here.

My twin and I share every birthday together and it means a lot to me. We only didn't spend our 18th together cuz it was the first day of college and I was 2 states away. That being said it's OUR birthday not mine not hers ours. She knows I don't like when she calls it mine or hers. So as she's packing so starts saying I hope you enjoy you birthday by yourself - the one we've been trying to plan the last 3 months, that I am expected to pay the majority for. She starts going on about how none of us love her only our auntie that's picking her up. What we have isn't love or care for her, which is why when her fist message after leaving was sending me my birthday nail and hair inspos and telling me to enjoy myself I said I love u and she said yeah right!?!? That alone makes me wanna be less nice.

She sent me something to rile me up that had nothing to do with our argument the next day she asks me if I'm still paying her 200$ phone bill 3 days in a row.

I sent her this but I don't think she's going to respond she might not even read it. I always had a feeling she hated us but hearing it was differ it really hurts to hear that from a twin you live more than anything especially when she steps over every expression of love or vulnerability.

"Why should I give u anything when you tell me you hate me and try your hardest to hurt my feelings when you're hurting? I've always loved and cared about u. I actively helped u out when u left maybe not a lot but definitely more then someone should after listening to what u said. I don't want to dismiss u feeling ganged up on but that wasn't any of our intentions. We were already arguing and mom jumped at your disrespected mom and our brother and I are trying to play peace maker. After all this hateful shit you text only to make me mad over our birthday and ask for money. We care about your feelings why can't u care about anyone else? I don't get how you don't see how much love and care we have for u. I want to make this message more thoughtful and remind u of how we love u but I'm not, I'm mad and hurt."

I think she probably needs more support not to be called names. She's hurting and sad and lashing out, but her lashings hurt so bad it makes you wish you never tried to help.

I want to block her or send a message saying I won't talk until she apologizes. But I don't want to leave her hurting but she left and basically told me fuck you should I even try? At what point do I stop letting her disrespect me for the sake of her mood.

I'm conflicted about the situation. Was it too nice? Was it not what she needed? Too negative, or does it sound like a lack of accountability on my part? I don't know what I can do. She needs to learn to be happy with herself and the family she has.

How should you respond when you know, a more than likely depressed family member screams they hate you so much they hope they die so you can hurt. She said that one to my mom during the argument and to me when she told me she hated us.

I saw my mom break down after that, both of us did when she left. I don't want to call any of us Ass holes but no matter the hurt I think it was my sister this time. She's been hurting and it's reflecting, I think she gets it from our mom honestly.

I'm sorry for posting family business on the Internet but fuck who can you talk to if not strangers?

What should I do/ say?

Am I overthinking?

Forgive the typos this is my first post, and I already spent more than enough time typing this.

​

I F21 left for college a couple years ago and my sister stayed back. She's had it rough in the house after leaving her first college. My mom and her clashed heads a lot especially with her being out of school without a job or a higher ed path. My sister took the time she needed and is back in a new program.

I'm staying home for the summer and I have to sleep in her room. A week or two ago we were talking and she told me she hated me. Our whole family. Hate has always been a strong word, my mom told us never to use it but she told me she hated us and I just sat there and acted like there weren't tears falling down my face. Asking her what we can do to fix it bc even if my feelings are hurt I still want to find the root of the problem.

My sister feels like she gets the worst treatment of us all. She is the eldest (only by a minute) between me and my brother. My mom was disappointed in her life choices when she moved back after her first school but she is proud of her now for getting to this new school. There are other things my mom's not happy with like my sister's thieving bf or her adittude in the morning.

To the actual story, my sister asks me to let her know where her ride is coming bc she has to be on campus at 2 for her test. She also has pot luck for class and pasta in the oven. Her phone broke so she couldn't call herself, I called her ride and left the room around 12ish forgetting to let her know the person who was going to pick her up switched to our mom's bf. Time goes by and she sticks her head out of her room around 1:37 and asks where is her ride.

My mom's bf is waiting on her while we are arguing because of the ride mix up. I tell her to just hurry up b/c he's waiting on her outside. I leave the room and come back 7 minutes later b/c my mom told me she was going to get left bc her ride had something to do later. She still isn't dressed (in uniform) It's like 1:50 and she tells me this is my fault. She's gonna be late b/c I should have told her the ride switched. I told her she should have got up herself before 1:40 to ask for her ride and get dressed if I didn't get the info to her timely b/c it's her life. I was doing a favor and forgot to remind her of the end result. I didn't see it as a big deal she's still going to school and now her rides closer. So i tell her I'm sorry for the mix up but you need to go now.

My mom hears us arguing and tells my sister to hurry up before she leaves, she yelled like she was frustrated with a toddler refusing to get moving. That triggered my sister she started going on about sides in the family. To her, Mom only takes up for me and my brother and I'm never on her side I'm just playing both. I don't like when she does this we are a family there doesn't need to be sides. My mom is yelling at her to go to her test, my sister is yelling at my mom now about sides and how she never gets any defense from our mom, mind u this the the first time there seeing each other for the day. Everyone has been locked in their rooms. I'm yelling at her to stop talking to our mom loud and accusatory especially when she's the one who preaches the most about respecting your mother. (If you can't tell now it's been a screening match). She's going on about how she was depending on us and waiting on us to tell her about her ride and my mom was like that's the problem.

My younger brother (M16) comes out hearing us and tries to calm down our mom telling her to stop arguing with our sister. She listens but he's our baby and it's more of a cute attempt than actually working. My mom and sister are still arguing with my sister comparing us to her; my brother's punishments compared to hers (he gets away with more as a teen than she did). My freedom compared to hers, my curfew can be less strict. I didn't want to say it but it was going jealous or envy and I told her that and that made her more mad. She's yelling at my mom and my mom says that thing most parents do when they're frustrated but never mean. "If you wanna be grown you can get the fuck out" my sister took her up on it. She put all her stuff in trash bags and wrecked her room like an angry bf b/c I'm in here.

My twin and I share every birthday together and it means a lot to me. We only didn't spend our 18th together cuz it was the first day of college and I was 2 states away. That being said it's OUR birthday not mine not hers ours. She knows I don't like when she calls it mine or hers. So as she's packing so starts saying I hope you enjoy you birthday by yourself - the one we've been trying to plan the last 3 months, that I am expected to pay the majority for. She starts going on about how none of us love her only our auntie that's picking her up. What we have isn't love or care for her, which is why when her fist message after leaving was sending me my birthday nail and hair inspos and telling me to enjoy myself I said I love u and she said yeah right!?!? That alone makes me wanna be less nice.

She sent me something to rile me up that had nothing to do with our argument the next day she asks me if I'm still paying her 200$ phone bill 3 days in a row.

I sent her this but I don't think she's going to respond she might not even read it. I always had a feeling she hated us but hearing it was differ it really hurts to hear that from a twin you live more than anything especially when she steps over every expression of love or vulnerability.

"Why should I give u anything when you tell me you hate me and try your hardest to hurt my feelings when you're hurting? I've always loved and cared about u. I actively helped u out when u left maybe not a lot but definitely more then someone should after listening to what u said. I don't want to dismiss u feeling ganged up on but that wasn't any of our intentions. We were already arguing and mom jumped at your disrespected mom and our brother and I are trying to play peace maker. After all this hateful shit you text only to make me mad over our birthday and ask for money. We care about your feelings why can't u care about anyone else? I don't get how you don't see how much love and care we have for u. I want to make this message more thoughtful and remind u of how we love u but I'm not, I'm mad and hurt."

I think she probably needs more support not to be called names. She's hurting and sad and lashing out, but her lashings hurt so bad it makes you wish you never tried to help.

I want to block her or send a message saying I won't talk until she apologizes. But I don't want to leave her hurting but she left and basically told me fuck you should I even try? At what point do I stop letting her disrespect me for the sake of her mood.

I'm conflicted about the situation. Was it too nice? Was it not what she needed? Too negative, or does it sound like a lack of accountability on my part? I don't know what I can do. She needs to learn to be happy with herself and the family she has.

How should you respond when you know, a more than likely depressed family member screams they hate you so much they hope they die so you can hurt. She said that one to my mom during the argument and to me when she told me she hated us.

I saw my mom break down after that, both of us did when she left. I don't want to call any of us Ass holes but no matter the hurt I think it was my sister this time. She's been hurting and it's reflecting, I think she gets it from our mom honestly.

I'm sorry for posting family business on the Internet but fuck who can you talk to if not strangers?

What should I do/ say?

Am I overthinking?

Forgive the typos this is my first post, and I already spent more than enough time typing this.

​

I F21 left for college a couple years ago and my sister stayed back. She's had it rough in the house after leaving her first college. My mom and her clashed heads a lot especially with her being out of school without a job or a higher ed path. My sister took the time she needed and is back in a new program.

I'm staying home for the summer and I have to sleep in her room. A week or two ago we were talking and she told me she hated me. Our whole family. Hate has always been a strong word, my mom told us never to use it but she told me she hated us and I just sat there and acted like there weren't tears falling down my face. Asking her what we can do to fix it bc even if my feelings are hurt I still want to find the root of the problem.

My sister feels like she gets the worst treatment of us all. She is the eldest (only by a minute) between me and my brother. My mom was disappointed in her life choices when she moved back after her first school but she is proud of her now for getting to this new school. There are other things my mom's not happy with like my sister's thieving bf or her adittude in the morning.

To the actual story, my sister asks me to let her know where her ride is coming bc she has to be on campus at 2 for her test. She also has pot luck for class and pasta in the oven. Her phone broke so she couldn't call herself, I called her ride and left the room around 12ish forgetting to let her know the person who was going to pick her up switched to our mom's bf. Time goes by and she sticks her head out of her room around 1:37 and asks where is her ride.

My mom's bf is waiting on her while we are arguing because of the ride mix up. I tell her to just hurry up b/c he's waiting on her outside. I leave the room and come back 7 minutes later b/c my mom told me she was going to get left bc her ride had something to do later. She still isn't dressed (in uniform) It's like 1:50 and she tells me this is my fault. She's gonna be late b/c I should have told her the ride switched. I told her she should have got up herself before 1:40 to ask for her ride and get dressed if I didn't get the info to her timely b/c it's her life. I was doing a favor and forgot to remind her of the end result. I didn't see it as a big deal she's still going to school and now her rides closer. So i tell her I'm sorry for the mix up but you need to go now.

My mom hears us arguing and tells my sister to hurry up before she leaves, she yelled like she was frustrated with a toddler refusing to get moving. That triggered my sister she started going on about sides in the family. To her, Mom only takes up for me and my brother and I'm never on her side I'm just playing both. I don't like when she does this we are a family there doesn't need to be sides. My mom is yelling at her to go to her test, my sister is yelling at my mom now about sides and how she never gets any defense from our mom, mind u this the the first time there seeing each other for the day. Everyone has been locked in their rooms. I'm yelling at her to stop talking to our mom loud and accusatory especially when she's the one who preaches the most about respecting your mother. (If you can't tell now it's been a screening match). She's going on about how she was depending on us and waiting on us to tell her about her ride and my mom was like that's the problem.

My younger brother (M16) comes out hearing us and tries to calm down our mom telling her to stop arguing with our sister. She listens but he's our baby and it's more of a cute attempt than actually working. My mom and sister are still arguing with my sister comparing us to her; my brother's punishments compared to hers (he gets away with more as a teen than she did). My freedom compared to hers, my curfew can be less strict. I didn't want to say it but it was going jealous or envy and I told her that and that made her more mad. She's yelling at my mom and my mom says that thing most parents do when they're frustrated but never mean. "If you wanna be grown you can get the fuck out" my sister took her up on it. She put all her stuff in trash bags and wrecked her room like an angry bf b/c I'm in here.

My twin and I share every birthday together and it means a lot to me. We only didn't spend our 18th together cuz it was the first day of college and I was 2 states away. That being said it's OUR birthday not mine not hers ours. She knows I don't like when she calls it mine or hers. So as she's packing so starts saying I hope you enjoy you birthday by yourself - the one we've been trying to plan the last 3 months, that I am expected to pay the majority for. She starts going on about how none of us love her only our auntie that's picking her up. What we have isn't love or care for her, which is why when her fist message after leaving was sending me my birthday nail and hair inspos and telling me to enjoy myself I said I love u and she said yeah right!?!? That alone makes me wanna be less nice.

She sent me something to rile me up that had nothing to do with our argument the next day she asks me if I'm still paying her 200$ phone bill 3 days in a row.

I sent her this but I don't think she's going to respond she might not even read it. I always had a feeling she hated us but hearing it was differ it really hurts to hear that from a twin you live more than anything especially when she steps over every expression of love or vulnerability.

"Why should I give u anything when you tell me you hate me and try your hardest to hurt my feelings when you're hurting? I've always loved and cared about u. I actively helped u out when u left maybe not a lot but definitely more then someone should after listening to what u said. I don't want to dismiss u feeling ganged up on but that wasn't any of our intentions. We were already arguing and mom jumped at your disrespected mom and our brother and I are trying to play peace maker. After all this hateful shit you text only to make me mad over our birthday and ask for money. We care about your feelings why can't u care about anyone else? I don't get how you don't see how much love and care we have for u. I want to make this message more thoughtful and remind u of how we love u but I'm not, I'm mad and hurt."

I think she probably needs more support not to be called names. She's hurting and sad and lashing out, but her lashings hurt so bad it makes you wish you never tried to help.

I want to block her or send a message saying I won't talk until she apologizes. But I don't want to leave her hurting but she left and basically told me fuck you should I even try? At what point do I stop letting her disrespect me for the sake of her mood.

I'm conflicted about the situation. Was it too nice? Was it not what she needed? Too negative, or does it sound like a lack of accountability on my part? I don't know what I can do. She needs to learn to be happy with herself and the family she has.

How should you respond when you know, a more than likely depressed family member screams they hate you so much they hope they die so you can hurt. She said that one to my mom during the argument and to me when she told me she hated us.

I saw my mom break down after that, both of us did when she left. I don't want to call any of us Ass holes but no matter the hurt I think it was my sister this time. She's been hurting and it's reflecting, I think she gets it from our mom honestly.

I'm sorry for posting family business on the Internet but fuck who can you talk to if not strangers?

What should I do/ say?

Forgive the typos this is my first post, and I already spent more than enough time typing this.