
I am really sick but no doctor can figure it out
I’m a 30 y/o female. So at the end of March I had an episode where I felt faint and went to the hospital. They took my blood, and my white blood cell count was mildly high (15). From there, I followed up with my primary care who said eh prob a virus and reran my blood. Still high. CRP is also mildly elevated in case anyone knows what that is. They both go up and down but never normal. He then sent me off on my way to specialists. I’ve seen gastro, cardiology, hematology (3x), neurology, rheumatology and probably some other ology I can’t think of right now. I don’t feel good ever. Like not even an hour in the day. If I had a moment of feeling ok this would all be so much easier to handle. I have extreme fatigue, headaches, leg pain and sometimes low grade fevers upon waking. I also lost weight during this period, like a good amount - to which my primary care dr said “eat a burger”. He thought it was anxiety for the first 3 months. It wasn’t til recently that he changed his tune.
Ive had scans , bloodwork and anything you can name done by all these specialists. I have been through so much and it has been so stressful. My bf and I were SO close to getting engaged before this it hurts so bad. We also bought a new house during the time I was sick (i wanted to wait til I had my health figured out, but he convinced me it would be a good decision). So now I have a beautiful house that I still have boxes everywhere and cannot enjoy because I always am worrying and always feel like shit. I used to be a fun and energetic person and now I can’t do like anything. I can’t play pickleball or go to the gym like I used to.
On my bf, I also feel like my illness is ruining our relationship. We used to do sooo much fun stuff. Like weekend trips to wherever the hell we want. Travel, being active. We did sooo much. And now I’m too sick to do anything. I can go out to dinner or something like that but I’m not even having fun bc I feel awful. He is under so much stress with work and now he has a sick gf. Not even just a sick gf, one that has not been diagnosed and is going from specialist to specialist. It would probably be easier to support me if I had a diagnosis. There’s a special sense of hell of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what. Every specialist just says “not my area”. Someone is fucking wrong.
I worry about having cancer every day. I was tested for blood cancers but only the common ones I believe. I’ve had scans and no masses but what if they’re missing it. I worry about death. I worry that I’ll never feel good again. I do not want to die, in fact I want to live more than anything. I want my life back. I was so happy. But sometimes I think it would be easier to die instead of going through being a medical mystery. I miss myself so much. It’s been a bit over 6 months since I have felt normal. So long that I am grieving my life before this hell.
Another stressor is work. I really didn’t want to tell my boss, but I had to. I cried. I’m on intermittent fmla that only covers 1 day per week, and I only have 18 paid sick days left. My mom was hit by a car in April and I went on fmla for 2 weeks for her. That was at the beginning of this illness, and I didn’t feel good the whole time I was taking care of her. Thank God she is better now. But I am not. And now I have barely any fmla time. I am at work right now and I feel awful. I work in education and I was praying I would figure this out and feel better by fall because it is so busy and demanding. I do work a desk job bc though. If I had a physical job there’s no way I could show up. But every day is so fucking hard. I gag in the morning from anxiety. I wake up hot and feel sick but have to fucking go to work. I need the insurance. I have a mortgage now.
Anyway, this fucking sucks. If I make it out of this I will never take anything for granted again. When you are healthy you don’t realize the small things you take for granted. I really want to be healthy again. I want to be me again. I want to cook, clean, do activities.
Meal is depressing lean cuisine that I’m eating at work while feeling like shit. Thank you for reading. If you pray, any prayers would be appreciated. If you don’t, just good positive vibes would be appreciated.
Edit: I did not expect this to reach so many people. For those asking my wbc has been from 11-17 bouncing up and down. My crp the lowest was 5 highest 13.9 most recent 8. My platelets also are on the higher end going up and down from 300s-485.
I have had my vitamins checked. Ferretin was 14 but I brought it up to 70 with supplements. The hematoligst still prescribed iron infusions so I will get them done. She doesn’t think my symptoms match just low iron tho. And I don’t know why I’m iron deficient I have light periods and had a colonoscopy upper endoscopy so it’s not a stomach thing. Vitamin d was low but not too low 25 and I started to take supplements it went up to 47.
I’ve had an mri of abdomen and pelvis a brain mri and an mra of abdomen and all were ok the only findings were nonspecific.
I was tested for all tickborne diseases and had an extensive infectious workup.
I have no idea what is going to happen to me and I feel so hopeless and like giving up. but I just want to thank every single one of you that offered any type of suggestion or any reply at all. You have all made me feel less alone.!