Six months after ending our TTC journey and I am struggling daily to find meaning in my life and look into the future with the hope and excitement I used to have. Sex is completely unappealing. Happy families are everywhere and I just feel like an old shriveled up useless nothing.
I exfoliate daily with a scrub mitt and salicylic acid but no matter what I do I get ingrowns on my legs after sugaring. Is there any solution (please don't suggest laser)!?
At least once a day a commercial, or a glimpse of a neighbor with their child, or a conversation at work, will trigger the thought "Oh, one day when I have kids.." and then I snap back to reality: "Oh right, we tried that, we did IVF and it didn't work, we're out of money, and I'm almost 44, that's not going to happen" and my heart breaks a little again. What is wrong with my brain??
Just when I feel like I'm doing fine, I wake up screaming and crying from a nightmare. Last night, my husband and I were holding and playing with our baby boy and someone/something kept trying to tell me it wasn't real but I wouldn't admit it. Like I knew it was a hallucination but it was so nice I didn't want it to go away. But I knew it wasn't real 🥹❤️🩹 My heart hurts today.
Piggybacking off my last question, what birth control did you decide to use after you stopped trying? I hesitate to put my body through any more hormones.
My husband and I moved from Tennessee to New Jersey two years ago to be close to my family (and with the hope of starting our own). Ever since my little brother and his wife had their first kid four years ago, my parents have been obsessed with her. When they had their second baby 8 months ago, my parents made a rule that my partner and I are not allowed over when the family is there (so basically never) because they don't want our dog around the children. (Sidenote: my dog is 14 years old and my whole world, the sweetest thing ever, and has severe separation anxiety so cannot be left alone, so she goes everywhere with us.) Me bringing her with me to stay with my parents had never been an issue for the past 13 years. Now I feel like a leper. We are excluded from all family/holiday gatherings and my mom's reasoning is "humans are more important than dogs." Obviously I'm extra sensitive to this because I know now my dog will be the only child I ever have. Anyway, we were just officially uninvited to Father's Day barbecue, and my heart is broken, once again. After Christmas, Thanksgiving, and my birthday, I'm not surprised, just incredibly hurt. We will likely move back to Tennessee where we at least have friends.
After years of trying naturally, IUIs, IVF and not even being able to make a viable embryo, it feels ridiculous to go on birth control. But that tiny little bit of uncertainty each month makes me not want to have sex at all. What do you do?
My grandmother was from Bari, Italy and used to say what I think was a common phrase (in Italian) something to the effect of "Getting old sucks, but the alternative is worse" and she's not here to ask her about it anymore. Can anyone help? 🥹
Just venting. Some days I'm fine and even glad I have a quiet life without kids. Then I go get an iced coffee and see families everywhere and Anne Hathaway popping up on Instagram with a pregnancy announcement at 43 and suddenly I'm in tears.