AIO for reading my boyfriend's group chat? I accidentally read that his friends make crude jokes about me
My boyfriend (M31) was cooking and handed me(F31) his phone so I could watch a video. While I was holding it, a notification popped up with my name in it. It looked like a joke, so I got intrigued and opened it and scrolled back a bit to see what was going on. I haven't told him how much of the chat I actually read yet I only mentioned the last few messages. It was a group chat of him and his best friends and as I understood the chat operates like this: they find a reason to swarm someone, concentrate all their energy on a single target, and relentlessly tease them with incredibly harsh, toxic jokes. The problem is that their "roasts" sometimes cross the line into disrespecting partners, past relationships comparing me to his exes, questioning my desirability to hurt his pride, comparing each each other’s girlfriends, some stupid jokes about sex lives etc etc. And my bf Instead of putting boundaries was just firing back with other insulting jokes to win the argument. When I confronted him about the few messages I "saw," he immediately brushed it off with: "It's just a joke, it's how we mock each and tease, it's nothing." To me, this feels incredibly weird, gross, and disrespectful for men in their 30s. I feel put off that my name and our private life are being used as ammunition for a bunch of grown men to secure their spots in a locker-room hierarchy.
At this point, I wish I didn't read further cause it just ruined my mood and my image of his friends. It should've just stayed there, but it is what it is. I got intrigued when I saw the joke with my name. Am I overreacting? Is it just boys' stupid jokes?