u/Far-Impression2284

That happened to me. I used to learn things faster than other kids and people thought I had a lot of potential. But growing up, things became harder, and now as an adult I often feel below average and dysfunctional. It’s frustrating and embarrassing sometimes, especially when relatives or people who knew me ask what happened to that kid with so much potential. And it hurts being judged like I somehow “chose” to become mediocre.

Breaking out of the cycle of finding new relationships, then after a few months, disappointment, abandonment, and toxicity. How do you cope with this seemingly constant cycle, especially among those who appear more empathetic, for whom abandonment, disappointment, cheating and rejection are more intense and usual, making it difficult to see it coming?

Last year, when I used repeated reading and rereading for several weeks beforehand to memorize material from articles and accurately recite every paragraph, after rereading more than seven times a day, I failed the exam with a failing grade. Meanwhile, my classmates who studied days or even the day before got 70 or 80, while I got 10 or 15. It's strange because exposure time is more important than technique. And I looked like an idiot and incompetent when those who were less disciplined and had social lives scored 80% higher.

without flashcards, active recall, Anki, or anything similar.

I started treatment with stimulant medication (vyvanse 30 mg) after years of struggling with serious executive issues: not getting things done on time, poor performance, erratic energy and concentration levels, and procrastination. I tried the classic advice of exercise, coffee, getting enough sleep, and using a planner, but it didn't work well. So I decided to try medication. But I'm worried about the long-term effects. I've heard terrible things about these medications: doctors refusing to prescribe them, memory problems, worsening cognitive function, heart problems, hair loss, addiction, psychosis, job problems, being fired, and relationship breakdowns. I'm concerned about what the long-term effects of the medication will be because so far. My short therm effects are "euphoria like" on the first day and tachycardia for the first few days, nothing else has happened. After that, I just experience more stable concentration, less resistance to starting activities, and relaxation.

For example, rereading vs. active recall.

How do I cope with years of comments and humiliation from people who tell me I'm useless, lazy, and irresponsible, that I'm not good enough, not even mediocre, even after trying everything and managing to focus and work hard? I still feel like I can't even be half as good as the average person, despite putting in double or triple the hours. I have no refuge or hobbies because failure always seems to follow, wherever i go. People know "I'm privileged" and have many more hours to work on what I want, but I still fail and they put the burden on me, .

That's it, I need to learn mostly from books, it's all very strict, everything by heart, that's how I'm evaluated and I'd like to learn a technique other than active recall or flashcards.I try to apply it, but I only remember some phrases, and I don't remember the ones that don't have a visual anchor.And it's complicated to create a locus that is associated with an entire paragraph.

I've tried it with short data sets like 20 random numbers or words; it's fast and works on the first or second recall. But I don't remember, recall with entire paragraphs.

How they do it? I know several classmates (about three) who manage to memorize everything photographically, literally, with 99% accuracy, and they always get perfect scores because of it (I'm studying a subject with dense information). I don't know how they do it, but I always see them reading intently once, and then when the exam comes around, they regurgitate everything from memory. That's never happened to me; even after rereading more than ten times, I forget everything and fail with very low grades. Only active recall works for me. It's very frustrating and painful

Stimulants are supposed to significantly reduce symptoms related to impulse control, concentration, and memory. In other words, it's expected that many people with ADHD would experience a significant improvement in their performance.

Could you share your experience regarding improvements in academic performance and memory?

A few weeks ago, I was diagnosed with AuDHD. Everything started to make sense: why I was always useless at memorizing facts, and why I was and still am terrible at studying, a complete failure. I finally understood why it took me six more repetitions than everyone else to memorize something, or why the next day, after reviewing the material for ten hours, I couldn't remember a thing. I would fail every subject with a 1 or 2, spending days without sleep or food, only to go completely blank during the exam. It wasn't because I was 'lazy' or 'spoiled,' as I was always called, but because my brain works differently. It’s a mind that simply doesn't memorize from reading and rereading for days on end, it doesn't want that information in its long-term memory. How do you deal with a memory that doesn't exist? (Being in a career where I have to read mountains of text and memorize everything by heart certainly doesn't help)

I'm studying a very theoretical and memorization-based degree. And I can't imagine how people studied and memorized things before without tools like Anki, Active Recall, or Feynman. If I use techniques like reading and rereading, transcribe by hand, I only retain about 5-10% of the information.