u/Fast_Performer_1126

i dont know what’s wrong with me, i was feeling so sad and ugly today so i started cutting myself just a bit, not to make myself bleed but just a bit, then i got turned on so i went to porn

literally wtf why did i do that

currently ghosting everyone bc who would want to be friends with me? who would ever fr like me or love me? im too ugly to have any intimate relationships, ive just been watching porn, and wallowing in my self pity

just wondering if there’s anything out there that’s fr accurate, i feel so ugly and I’d like to know what I’m rated, apps or sites

do they practice beforehand or does each student tell them when they go up?

so this sems about to end and im not sure if i'll get more than a 3.5, and this is my third semester on probation

will they 100% kick you out if you reach 4 semesters? if i get kicked out of honors college, can i at least apply for the program?

That’s all I have to say, I’m so sorry for everything. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m spiraling I’m sorry I don’t know why I’m like this, I wish I was better for you. We’re not good together, use me and throw me away, why can’t you just do that? Why do you want more from someone like me? What do you even see in me? Let me self destruct please. I’m not built for love.

it’s not like I’m addicted, but if I’m not talking to someone romantically or even as a distraction, I go to porn. sometimes I watch it 2-3 times a day, I’m not even horny that much I don’t know why I do it. I’m a student and I do work so I do have things to do, I work out too, it’s just sometimes I start watching it multiple times a day and I get so sad , it grosses me out

EDIT: thank you for the advice guys a lot of you guys are saying pick up a hobby work out, and I do. Usually I wake up workout, have a few meetings, and then class. I am busy, it’s just when I fall into it I watch it multiple times for a week, then get sad, it’s worse when I have free time