u/Ferroro_kitty

Please give me some advice. I am 19F. I posted about this a few days ago. I apologise if this is incorrect but I'm alone right and spiralling and can't do anything at all

I met this guy in March and got into a relationship in April and it is June now. He is the sweetest person who is very thoughtful and loving and communicative and clear.

In fact I think I am not mature enough for relationships and got enamored by the idea. All of this is in the span of two months and the Honeymoon Phase. He is very very supportive and encourages me to study. He loves that I'm so ambitious and driven. So, he isn't a bad person fundamentally.

Basically we moved really fast physically (he has had 2 girlfriends before and is 21 and lost his virginity to the previous one (they moved very very fast) , but it doesn't bother me tbh). I am not saying he forced me to kiss him or anything, but more so that he is familiar with it and I am not so he asked my permission and I'd say no and then he'd back away. But then he'd ask for permission the next day and back away when I said no. However, after a while I kissed him because i wanted to and then after that he does respect when I deny but I'd say that if it were me, I'd have moved a lot slower (we have had steamy makeout sessions I don't want to elaborate, it feels weird). Again I don't regret it, but in retrospect it is weird thinking that I did all of that in the span of a month before vacation began.

And then thing is he does feel a little bad about it sometimes and says that he wished i wasn't so physically conservative but it isn't to make me feel guilty or anything (i have communicated that with him). But, it remains that if it were me, I'd not have kissed him until after 3 months and proceeded a lot more slowly.

And then there is this thing where i don't feel a mental connection with him (we don't have any hobbies in common and he never explored anything because his parents are very strict). But I just don't feel the 'intellectual stimulation' and i am realising i need it form my partner. I am the type who wants to have long philosophical discussions and discuss about a movie I discussed at length and just talk a lot. He is more of a listener.

And then there is this thing about LDR (he'll graduate next year and I'll pursue my PhD after graduating and will try my best to go overseas for pdf as well). Even it is works out I can't do an LDR. I want to experience all of my firsts with someone real, not just pine for someone miles away when there is no tangible plan to close the distance in the beginning. Even in the most ideal scenario I don't want to spend my first relationship and the beginning of twenties in an LDR.

So, I broke up with my boyfriend (and possibly blindsided him) and the last two points were my reason. And he said he can explore his hobbies and that he never has because his parents have never allowed him and that I'm thinking too far into the future about LDR and giving up too easily. I said that if I know I wouldn't get into an LDR when he graduates, there is no point in me trying. And he said I was letting my anxiety overrule everything.

I admit that I probably did get into a relationship too soon (it wasn't for the sake of getting into on though) but if I had a bit of an inkling that the LDR would be so hard for me (we are doing LDR right now during vacation) I would never have gotten into this relationship. I also think I have some sort of avoidant attachment and just deactivated, the intellectual spark was bothering me but it wasn't so huge and I want to work on it because I don't want to give so much pain to anyone I like let alone love.

So, what do I do now? (Please don't tell me I was very immature and stuff, I know I was and I am willing to improve and identify my triggers) but if I break up with him again (if I get back), I'll feel like the shittiest human alive.

I just feel so alone right now because of vacation and I can't confide in my parents because they are quite strict. I don't have any friends I can meet offline and I don't want to bother others by calling them

Please give me some advice. I am 19F. I posted about this a few days ago.

I met this guy in March and got into a relationship in April and it is June now. He is the sweetest person who is very thoughtful and loving and communicative and clear.

In fact I think I am not mature enough for relationships and got enamored by the idea. All of this is in the span of two months and the Honeymoon Phase. He is very very supportive and encourages me to study. He loves that I'm so ambitious and driven. So, he isn't a bad person fundamentally.

Basically we moved really fast physically (he has had 2 girlfriends before and is 21 and lost his virginity to the previous one (they moved very very fast) , but it doesn't bother me tbh). I am not saying he forced me to kiss him or anything, but more so that he is familiar with it and I am not so he asked my permission and I'd say no and then he'd back away. But then he'd ask for permission the next day and back away when I said no. However, after a while I kissed him because i wanted to and then after that he does respect when I deny but I'd say that if it were me, I'd have moved a lot slower (we have had steamy makeout sessions I don't want to elaborate, it feels weird). Again I don't regret it, but in retrospect it is weird thinking that I did all of that in the span of a month before vacation began.

And then thing is he does feel a little bad about it sometimes and says that he wished i wasn't so physically conservative but it isn't to make me feel guilty or anything (i have communicated that with him). But, it remains that if it were me, I'd not have kissed him until after 3 months and proceeded a lot more slowly.

And then there is this thing where i don't feel a mental connection with him (we don't have any hobbies in common and he never explored anything because his parents are very strict). But I just don't feel the 'intellectual stimulation' and i am realising i need it form my partner. I am the type who wants to have long philosophical discussions and discuss about a movie I discussed at length and just talk a lot. He is more of a listener.

And then there is this thing about LDR (he'll graduate next year and I'll pursue my PhD after graduating and will try my best to go overseas for pdf as well). Even it is works out I can't do an LDR. I want to experience all of my firsts with someone real, not just pine for someone miles away when there is no tangible plan to close the distance in the beginning. Even in the most ideal scenario I don't want to spend my first relationship and the beginning of twenties in an LDR.

So, I broke up with my boyfriend (and possibly blindsided him) and the last two points were my reason. And he said he can explore his hobbies and that he never has because his parents have never allowed him and that I'm thinking too far into the future about LDR and giving up too easily. I said that if I know I wouldn't get into an LDR when he graduates, there is no point in me trying. And he said I was letting my anxiety overrule everything.

I admit that I probably did get into a relationship too soon (it wasn't for the sake of getting into on though) but if I had a bit of an inkling that the LDR would be so hard for me (we are doing LDR right now during vacation) I would never have gotten into this relationship. I also think I have some sort of avoidant attachment and just deactivated, the intellectual spark was bothering me but it wasn't so huge and I want to work on it because I don't want to give so much pain to anyone I like let alone love.

So, what do I do now? (Please don't tell me I was very immature and stuff, I know I was and I am willing to improve and identify my triggers) but if I break up with him again (if I get back), I'll feel like the shittiest human alive.

I just feel so alone right now because of vacation and I can't confide in my parents because they are quite strict. I don't have any friends I can meet offline and I don't want to bother others by calling them

Please give me some advice. I am 19F. I posted about this a few days ago.

I met this guy in March and got into a relationship in April and it is June now. He is the sweetest person who is very thoughtful and loving and communicative and clear.

In fact I think I am not mature enough for relationships and got enamored by the idea. All of this is in the span of two months and the Honeymoon Phase. He is very very supportive and encourages me to study. He loves that I'm so ambitious and driven. So, he isn't a bad person fundamentally.

Basically we moved really fast physically (he has had 2 girlfriends before and is 21 and lost his virginity to the previous one (they moved very very fast) , but it doesn't bother me tbh). I am not saying he forced me to kiss him or anything, but more so that he is familiar with it and I am not so he asked my permission and I'd say no and then he'd back away. But then he'd ask for permission the next day and back away when I said no. However, after a while I kissed him because i wanted to and then after that he does respect when I deny but I'd say that if it were me, I'd have moved a lot slower (we have had steamy makeout sessions I don't want to elaborate, it feels weird). Again I don't regret it, but in retrospect it is weird thinking that I did all of that in the span of a month before vacation began.

And then thing is he does feel a little bad about it sometimes and says that he wished i wasn't so physically conservative but it isn't to make me feel guilty or anything (i have communicated that with him). But, it remains that if it were me, I'd not have kissed him until after 3 months and proceeded a lot more slowly.

And then there is this thing where i don't feel a mental connection with him (we don't have any hobbies in common and he never explored anything because his parents are very strict). But I just don't feel the 'intellectual stimulation' and i am realising i need it form my partner. I am the type who wants to have long philosophical discussions and discuss about a movie I discussed at length and just talk a lot. He is more of a listener.

And then there is this thing about LDR (he'll graduate next year and I'll pursue my PhD after graduating and will try my best to go overseas for pdf as well). Even it is works out I can't do an LDR. I want to experience all of my firsts with someone real, not just pine for someone miles away when there is no tangible plan to close the distance in the beginning. Even in the most ideal scenario I don't want to spend my first relationship and the beginning of twenties in an LDR.

So, I broke up with my boyfriend (and possibly blindsided him) and the last two points were my reason. And he said he can explore his hobbies and that he never has because his parents have never allowed him and that I'm thinking too far into the future about LDR and giving up too easily. I said that if I know I wouldn't get into an LDR when he graduates, there is no point in me trying. And he said I was letting my anxiety overrule everything.

I admit that I probably did get into a relationship too soon (it wasn't for the sake of getting into on though) but if I had a bit of an inkling that the LDR would be so hard for me (we are doing LDR right now during vacation) I would never have gotten into this relationship. I also think I have some sort of avoidant attachment and just deactivated, the intellectual spark was bothering me but it wasn't so huge and I want to work on it because I don't want to give so much pain to anyone I like let alone love.

So, what do I do now? (Please don't tell me I was very immature and stuff, I know I was and I am willing to improve and identify my triggers) but if I break up with him again, I'll feel like the shittiest human alive.

I just feel so alone right now because of vacation and I can't confide in my parents because they are quite strict. I don't have any friends I can meet offline and I don't want to bother others by calling them

Please give me some advice. I am 19F. I posted about this a few days ago.

I met this guy in March and got into a relationship in April and it is June now. He is the sweetest person who is very thoughtful and loving and communicative and clear.

In fact I think I am not mature enough for relationships and got enamored by the idea. All of this is in the span of two months and the Honeymoon Phase. He is very very supportive and encourages me to study. He loves that I'm so ambitious and driven. So, he isn't a bad person fundamentally.

Basically we moved really fast physically (he has had 2 girlfriends before and is 21 and lost his virginity to the previous one (they moved very very fast) , but it doesn't bother me tbh). I am not saying he forced me to kiss him or anything, but more so that he is familiar with it and I am not so he asked my permission and I'd say no and then he'd back away. But then he'd ask for permission the next day and back away when I said no. However, after a while I kissed him because i wanted to and then after that he does respect when I deny but I'd say that if it were me, I'd have moved a lot slower (we have had steamy makeout sessions I don't want to elaborate, it feels weird). Again I don't regret it, but in retrospect it is weird thinking that I did all of that in the span of a month before vacation began.

And then thing is he does feel a little bad about it sometimes and says that he wished i wasn't so physically conservative but it isn't to make me feel guilty or anything (i have communicated that with him). But, it remains that if it were me, I'd not have kissed him until after 3 months and proceeded a lot more slowly.

And then there is this thing where i don't feel a mental connection with him (we don't have any hobbies in common and he never explored anything because his parents are very strict). But I just don't feel the 'intellectual stimulation' and i am realising i need it form my partner. I am the type who wants to have long philosophical discussions and discuss about a movie I discussed at length and just talk a lot. He is more of a listener.

And then there is this thing about LDR (he'll graduate next year and I'll pursue my PhD after graduating and will try my best to go overseas for pdf as well). Even it is works out I can't do an LDR. I want to experience all of my firsts with someone real, not just pine for someone miles away when there is no tangible plan to close the distance in the beginning. Even in the most ideal scenario I don't want to spend my first relationship and the beginning of twenties in an LDR.

So, I broke up with my boyfriend (and possibly blindsided him) and the last two points were my reason. And he said he can explore his hobbies and that he never has because his parents have never allowed him and that I'm thinking too far into the future about LDR and giving up too easily. I said that if I know I wouldn't get into an LDR when he graduates, there is no point in me trying. And he said I was letting my anxiety overrule everything.

I admit that I probably did get into a relationship too soon (it wasn't for the sake of getting into on though) but if I had a bit of an inkling that the LDR would be so hard for me (we are doing LDR right now during vacation) I would never have gotten into this relationship. I also think I have some sort of avoidant attachment and just deactivated, the intellectual spark was bothering me but it wasn't so huge and I want to work on it because I don't want to give so much pain to anyone I like let alone love.

So, what do I do now? (Please don't tell me I was very immature and stuff, I know I was and I am willing to improve and identify my triggers) but if I break up with him again, I'll feel like the shittiest human alive.

I just feel so alone right now because of vacation and I can't confide in my parents because they are quite strict. I don't have any friends I can meet offline and I don't want to bother others by calling them

Please give me some advice. I am 19F. I posted about this a few days ago.

I met this guy in March and got into a relationship in April and it is June now. He is the sweetest person who is very thoughtful and loving and communicative and clear.

In fact I think I am not mature enough for relationships and got enamored by the idea. All of this is in the span of two months and the Honeymoon Phase. He is very very supportive and encourages me to study. He loves that I'm so ambitious and driven. So, he isn't a bad person fundamentally.

Basically we moved really fast physically (he has had 2 girlfriends before and is 21 and lost his virginity to the previous one (they moved very very fast) , but it doesn't bother me tbh). I am not saying he forced me to kiss him or anything, but more so that he is familiar with it and I am not so he asked my permission and I'd say no and then he'd back away. But then he'd ask for permission the next day and back away when I said no. However, after a while I kissed him because i wanted to and then after that he does respect when I deny but I'd say that if it were me, I'd have moved a lot slower (we have had steamy makeout sessions I don't want to elaborate, it feels weird). Again I don't regret it, but in retrospect it is weird thinking that I did all of that in the span of a month before vacation began.

And then thing is he does feel a little bad about it sometimes and says that he wished i wasn't so physically conservative but it isn't to make me feel guilty or anything (i have communicated that with him). But, it remains that if it were me, I'd not have kissed him until after 3 months and proceeded a lot more slowly.

And then there is this thing where i don't feel a mental connection with him (we don't have any hobbies in common and he never explored anything because his parents are very strict). But I just don't feel the 'intellectual stimulation' and i am realising i need it form my partner. I am the type who wants to have long philosophical discussions and discuss about a movie I discussed at length and just talk a lot. He is more of a listener.

And then there is this thing about LDR (he'll graduate next year and I'll pursue my PhD after graduating and will try my best to go overseas for pdf as well). Even it is works out I can't do an LDR. I want to experience all of my firsts with someone real, not just pine for someone miles away when there is no tangible plan to close the distance in the beginning. Even in the most ideal scenario I don't want to spend my first relationship and the beginning of twenties in an LDR.

So, I broke up with my boyfriend (and possibly blindsided him) and the last two points were my reason. And he said he can explore his hobbies and that he never has because his parents have never allowed him and that I'm thinking too far into the future about LDR and giving up too easily. I said that if I know I wouldn't get into an LDR when he graduates, there is no point in me trying. And he said I was letting my anxiety overrule everything.

I admit that I probably did get into a relationship too soon (it wasn't for the sake of getting into on though) but if I had a bit of an inkling that the LDR would be so hard for me (we are doing LDR right now during vacation) I would never have gotten into this relationship. I also think I have some sort of avoidant attachment and just deactivated because I started to look for reasons and the intellectual spark was bothering me but it wasn't so huge and I want to work on it because I don't want to give so much pain to anyone I like let alone love.

So, what do I do now? (Please don't tell me I was very immature and stuff, I know I was and I am willing to improve and identify my triggers) but if I break up with him again, I'll feel like the shittiest human alive.

Please give me some advice. I am 19F. I posted about this a few days ago. If it is inappropriate to post this, I deeply apologise. Kindly remove it after 24 hours please.

I met this guy in March and got into a relationship in April and it is June now. He is the sweetest person who is very thoughtful and loving and communicative and clear.

In fact I think I am not mature enough for relationships and got enamored by the idea. All of this is in the span of two months and the Honeymoon Phase. He is very very supportive and encourages me to study. He loves that I'm so ambitious and driven. So, he isn't a bad person fundamentally.

Basically we moved really fast physically (he has had 2 girlfriends before and is 21 and lost his virginity to the previous one (they moved very very fast) , but it doesn't bother me tbh). I am not saying he forced me to kiss him or anything, but more so that he is familiar with it and I am not so he asked my permission and I'd say no and then he'd back away. But then he'd ask for permission the next day and back away when I said no. However, after a while I kissed him because i wanted to and then after that he does respect when I deny but I'd say that if it were me, I'd have moved a lot slower (we have had steamy makeout sessions I don't want to elaborate, it feels weird). Again I don't regret it, but in retrospect it is weird thinking that I did all of that in the span of a month before vacation began.

And then thing is he does feel a little bad about it sometimes and says that he wished i wasn't so physically conservative but it isn't to make me feel guilty or anything (i have communicated that with him). But, it remains that if it were me, I'd not have kissed him until after 3 months and proceeded a lot more slowly.

And then there is this thing where i don't feel a mental connection with him (we don't have any hobbies in common and he never explored anything because his parents are very strict). But I just don't feel the 'intellectual stimulation' and i am realising i need it form my partner. I am the type who wants to have long philosophical discussions and discuss about a movie I discussed at length and just talk a lot. He is more of a listener.

And then there is this thing about LDR (he'll graduate next year and I'll pursue my PhD after graduating and will try my best to go overseas for pdf as well). Even it is works out I can't do an LDR. I want to experience all of my firsts with someone real, not just pine for someone miles away when there is no tangible plan to close the distance in the beginning. Even in the most ideal scenario I don't want to spend my first relationship and the beginning of twenties in an LDR.

So, I broke up with my boyfriend (and possibly blindsided him) and the last two points were my reason. And he said he can explore his hobbies and that he never has because his parents have never allowed him and that I'm thinking too far into the future about LDR and giving up too easily. I said that if I know I wouldn't get into an LDR when he graduates, there is no point in me trying. And he said I was letting my anxiety overrule everything.

I admit that I probably did get into a relationship too soon (it wasn't for the sake of getting into on though) but if I had a bit of an inkling that the LDR would be so hard for me (we are doing LDR right now during vacation) I would never have gotten into this relationship. I also think I have some sort of avoidant attachment and just deactivated and I want to work on it because I don't want to give so much pain to anyone I like let alone love.

So, what do I do now? (Please don't tell me I was very immature and stuff, I know I was and I am willing to improve and identify my triggers) but if I break up with him again, I'll feel like the shittiest human alive.

I'm in dire need of a book with some banter and flirty conversations pleaseeeeeeeeeeee

I have moderate-severe anxiety (diagnosed) and am fearful avoidant for context. This is also my first ever relationship.

Basically, I met this boy in March and we got into a relationship in April and it is just the starting of June right now. I thought there would be this honeymoon phase where i'd be giddy and we'd be addicted to each other, but it is very peaceful and nice. We both like each other and till now whenever a few conflicts have arose it is sorted out in 15-20 minutes maximum (who we are as people). Right now, there is no big thing that is wrong I'd say.

I am someone who LOVES talking. I can talk for hours and I love listening to other people and understanding the way they think. He is more of a listener and never says anything. He has said things about himself and his childhood and I love those conversations but when it comes to the everyday things, I can go on and on about what happened during the day because I am someone like that and if I ask him, he'd answer it 2 sentences maximum.

Say, I am someone who on seeing movies would LOVE to discuss the entire thing from a literary standpoint. He isn't someone who thinks so deeply. And other than this, NONE of our hobbies overlap and even if we talk about ours vaguely, there is no constructive input... if that makes sense at all... a very one sided convo ig.

And it is so boring sometimes? Because I love banter and deep convos at once. And I respect him and admire him mostly... but ig I don't find him 'fascinating'. I want to have 'philosophical' discussions with him. There is this disconnect because even our sense of humour doesn't match. I could be bored to tears I think when the first few months pass

And he'll graduate next year, me the year after and I'll pursue a PhD so it's going to be ldr for atleast 5-6 years (I want to go abroad as well) and this is also scaring me a bit. Idk if i'd be able to survive ldr because the distance during summer vacation is killing me T-T

So... I don't know if I'm overthinking this or not... because every issue that we've brought up, we've both changed after it in order to make space and correct our mistakes.

But then I think about how great he is and then I fantasize of living my twenties single and figuring out who I am alone and travelling solo and living alone and not really caring about anyone else/having responsibility.

One important thing (?) is that I don't feel lucky he is my boyfriend as such (which could be because he is my first partner and so great) but my friends also treat me nicely (male and female). I don't feel like i bagged someone who i out of my league either... but i know he is the sweetest person who is genuinely considerate and I don't know if it is unfair that I am one foot out and the other in and not finding him funny/entertaining... He is very supportive and priortises my education and my health above everything, but the main compatibilities off my head would just be religion... he doesn't mind that i'm mildly religious but he isn't (almost 0)

TL;DR: should i break up so soon into the relationship or should i communicate again about how i feel?

I have moderate-severe anxiety (diagnosed) and am fearful avoidant for context. This is also my first ever relationship.

Basically, I met this boy in March and we got into a relationship in April and it is just the starting of June right now. I thought there would be this honeymoon phase where i'd be giddy and we'd be addicted to each other, but it is very peaceful and nice. We both like each other and till now whenever a few conflicts have arose it is sorted out in 15-20 minutes maximum (who we are as people). Right now, there is no big thing that is wrong I'd say.

I am someone who LOVES talking. I can talk for hours and I love listening to other people and understanding the way they think. He is more of a listener and never says anything. He has said things about himself and his childhood and I love those conversations but when it comes to the everyday things, I can go on and on about what happened during the day because I am someone like that and if I ask him, he'd answer it 2 sentences maximum.

Say, I am someone who on seeing movies would LOVE to discuss the entire thing from a literary standpoint. He isn't someone who thinks so deeply. And other than this, NONE of our hobbies overlap and even if we talk about ours vaguely, there is no constructive input... if that makes sense at all... a very one sided convo ig.

And it is so boring sometimes? Because I love banter and deep convos at once. And I respect him and admire him mostly... but ig I don't find him 'fascinating'. I want to have 'philosophical' discussions with him. There is this disconnect because even our sense of humour doesn't match. I could be bored to tears I think when the first few months pass

And he'll graduate next year, me the year after and I'll pursue a PhD so it's going to be ldr for atleast 5-6 years (I want to go abroad as well) and this is also scaring me a bit. Idk if i'd be able to survive ldr because the distance during summer vacation is killing me T-T

So... I don't know if I'm overthinking this or not... because every issue that we've brought up, we've both changed after it in order to make space and correct our mistakes.

But then I think about how great he is and then I fantasize of living my twenties single and figuring out who I am alone and travelling solo and living alone and not really caring about anyone else/having responsibility.

One important thing (?) is that I don't feel lucky he is my boyfriend as such (which could be because he is my first partner and so great) but my friends also treat me nicely (male and female). I don't feel like i bagged someone who i out of my league either... but i know he is the sweetest person who is genuinely considerate and I don't know if it is unfair that I am one foot out and the other in and not finding him funny/entertaining... He is very supportive and priortises my education and my health above everything, but the main compatibilities off my head would just be religion... he doesn't mind that i'm mildly religious but he isn't (almost 0)

I have moderate-severe anxiety (diagnosed) and am fearful avoidant for context. This is also my first ever relationship.

Basically, I met this boy in March and we got into a relationship in April and it is just the starting of June right now. I thought there would be this honeymoon phase where i'd be giddy and we'd be addicted to each other, but it is very peaceful and nice. We both like each other and till now whenever a few conflicts have arose it is sorted out in 15-20 minutes maximum (who we are as people). Right now, there is no big thing that is wrong I'd say.

I am someone who LOVES talking. I can talk for hours and I love listening to other people and understanding the way they think. He is more of a listener and never says anything. He has said things about himself and his childhood and I love those conversations but when it comes to the everyday things, I can go on and on about what happened during the day because I am someone like that and if I ask him, he'd answer it 2 sentences maximum.

Say, I am someone who on seeing movies would LOVE to discuss the entire thing from a literary standpoint. He isn't someone who thinks so deeply. And other than this, NONE of our hobbies overlap and even if we talk about ours vaguely, there is no constructive input... if that makes sense at all... a very one sided convo ig.

And it is so boring sometimes? Because I love banter and deep convos at once. And I respect him and admire him mostly... but ig I don't find him 'fascinating'. I want to have 'philosophical' discussions with him. There is this disconnect because even our sense of humour doesn't match. I could be bored to tears I think when the first few months pass

And he'll graduate next year, me the year after and I'll pursue a PhD so it's going to be ldr for atleast 5-6 years (I want to go abroad as well) and this is also scaring me a bit. Idk if i'd be able to survive ldr because the distance during summer vacation is killing me T-T

So... I don't know if I'm overthinking this or not... because every issue that we've brought up, we've both changed after it in order to make space and correct our mistakes.

But then I think about how great he is and then I fantasize of living my twenties single and figuring out who I am alone and travelling solo and living alone and not really caring about anyone else/having responsibility.

One important thing (?) is that I don't feel lucky he is my boyfriend as such (which could be because he is my first partner and so great) but my friends also treat me nicely (male and female). I don't feel like i bagged someone who i out of my league either... but i know he is the sweetest person who is genuinely considerate and I don't know if it is unfair that I am one foot out and the other in and not finding him funny/entertaining... He is very supportive and priortises my education and my health above everything, but the main compatibilities off my head would just be religion... he doesn't mind that i'm mildly religious but he isn't (almost 0)

I have moderate-severe anxiety (diagnosed) and am fearful avoidant for context. This is also my first ever relationship.

Basically, I met this boy in March and we got into a relationship in April and it is just the starting of June right now. I thought there would be this honeymoon phase where i'd be giddy and we'd be addicted to each other, but it is very peaceful and nice. We both like each other and till now whenever a few conflicts have arose it is sorted out in 15-20 minutes maximum (who we are as people). Right now, there is no big thing that is wrong I'd say.

I am someone who LOVES talking. I can talk for hours and I love listening to other people and understanding the way they think. He is more of a listener and never says anything. He has said things about himself and his childhood and I love those conversations but when it comes to the everyday things, I can go on and on about what happened during the day because I am someone like that and if I ask him, he'd answer it 2 sentences maximum.

Say, I am someone who on seeing movies would LOVE to discuss the entire thing from a literary standpoint. He isn't someone who thinks so deeply. And other than this, NONE of our hobbies overlap and even if we talk about ours vaguely, there is no constructive input... if that makes sense at all... a very one sided convo ig.

And it is so boring sometimes? Because I love banter and deep convos at once. And I respect him and admire him mostly... but ig I don't find him 'fascinating'. I want to have 'philosophical' discussions with him. There is this disconnect because even our sense of humour doesn't match. I could be bored to tears I think when the first few months pass

And he'll graduate next year, me the year after and I'll pursue a PhD so it's going to be ldr for atleast 5-6 years (I want to go abroad as well) and this is also scaring me a bit. Idk if i'd be able to survive ldr because the distance during summer vacation is killing me T-T

So... I don't know if I'm overthinking this or not... because every issue that we've brought up, we've both changed after it in order to make space and correct our mistakes.

But then I think about how great he is and then I fantasize of living my twenties single and figuring out who I am alone and travelling solo and living alone and not really caring about anyone else/having responsibility.

One important thing (?) is that I don't feel lucky he is my boyfriend as such (which could be because he is my first partner and so great) but my friends also treat me nicely (male and female). I don't feel like i bagged someone who i out of my league either... but i know he is the sweetest person who is genuinely considerate and I don't know if it is unfair that I am one foot out and the other in and not finding him funny/entertaining... He is very supportive and priortises my education and my health above everything, but the main compatibilities off my head would just be religion... he doesn't mind that i'm mildly religious but he isn't (almost 0)