u/Flappydird15

I live in the mid west with quite a bit of forest, and I've been researching weevils a lot because well... They're cute. But as someone who spends a lot of time outside, I almost never see them. I could just be looking in the wrong places. Also, if I do what types would I be expecting to find?

For starters, I have no friends, hence why I want to play VR chat simply for the human interaction. But even as a more outgoing-sided person I don't really understand how people START to talk to people on vr chat. Everyone is always in a conversation and/or a gooner avatar looking into the mirror clearly not wanting to talk to anyone. Any tips?

I know this sounds like a really childish question, but its the only way I can word it and my lack of a real friendship is starting to really get to me lately and I'm starting to get desperate.

For context:

I’m a 14yo boy and go to public school, but it's quite small (under 60 people per grade and everyone there dislikes me. I know a lot of people say that in an exaggerated or self conscious manner, but I'm being genuine when I say that. But, a while back, someone that I was somewhat friendly with publicly exposed a couple of my online accounts that revealed a lot of things like my sexuality, interests, and other things that the internet was my only safe place to freely express. Where now because of that, nobody at my school willingly associates with me because they either find me extremely weird, "an awful person" - direct quote, or had nothing against me but would also get bullied if they were friendly with me. So, unless we're miraculously able to buy a new house that isn't an hour away from any other schools, finding friends at school is out of the question.

(I have never been a fan of sports either, I’m mainly interested in art and theater. Plus, most of the available sports around me are mostly kids from my school. I do a few things like theater class and the occasional club, but for some reason everyone I talk to I can never click with. I’m friendly, I’m not even an introvert and I love social interaction but I just struggle to like people around me. A lot of people are just kinda… boring to me? And my personality is dead in the middle of weird internet kid and class clown. I have niche interests and quirks that a jock would probably bully someone for, but then I also do a lot of jokes and pranks (you could say) that some dislike me since they think I’m rude or a bad person.)

To sum up the problem there, I simply can’t find other people I feel I fit in with.

But despite how picky my ability to like someone is, I increasingly desire even just one good, trusting friendship with someone badly. There's only 2 people I can talk to honestly and as myself and it's an online friend that I still can't completely be myself around, and my therapist. The reason my parents aren't here is because they also wouldn't support half the things I believe in or what I do, nor do I enjoy talking to them. I respect them as parents, but I don't like them as people I can talk to, nor as friends or loved ones.

For now at least, I can't even make any more online friends because my parents monitor everyone I talk to. So I literally can't vent to anyone to my parents, nor my therapist half the time because they tell my parents way too much.

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I’m new to reddit and not great at this type of writing, so if you need any more information that I left out please ask. Also, even if you don't have any pearls of wisdom I would really like to know that someone acknowledged this. And if this isn't a good sub for this post that's my bad I have no idea what I'm doing yet

^(I know this sounds like a really childish question, but I think that's the only way I can word it. Also, I see a lot of people talking about dating/relationship advice, so I hope this isn't too out of the ordinary.)

^(For context:)

^(I’m a 14yo boy and go to public school, but it's quite small (under 60 people per grade and everyone there dislikes me. I know a lot of people say that in an exaggerated or self conscious manner, but I'm being genuine when I say that. But, a while back, someone that I was somewhat friendly with publicly exposed a couple of my online accounts that revealed a lot of things like my sexuality, interests, and other things that the internet was my only safe place to freely express. Where now because of that, nobody at my school willingly associates with me because they either find me extremely weird, "an awful person" - direct quote, or had nothing against me but would also get bullied if they were friendly with me. So, unless we're miraculously able to buy a new house that isn't an hour away from any other schools, finding friends at school is out of the question.)

(I have never been a fan of sports either, I’m mainly interested in art and theater. Plus, most of the available sports around me are mostly kids from my school. I do a few things like theater class and the occasional club, but for some reason everyone I talk to I can never click with. I’m friendly, I’m not even an introvert and I love social interaction but I just struggle to like people around me. A lot of people are just kinda… boring to me? And my personality is dead in the middle of weird internet kid and class clown. I have niche interests and quirks that a jock would probably bully someone for, but then I also do a lot of jokes and pranks (you could say) that some dislike me since they think I’m rude or a bad person.) 

To sum up the problem there, I simply can’t find other people I feel I fit in with.

^(But despite how picky my ability to like someone is, I increasingly desire even just one good, trusting friendship with someone badly. There's only 2 people I can talk to honestly and as myself and it's an online friend that I still can't completely be myself around, and my therapist. The reason my parents aren't here is because they also wouldn't support half the things I believe in or what I do, nor do I enjoy talking to them. I respect them as parents, but I don't like them as people I can talk to, nor as friends or loved ones.) 

For now at least, I can't even make any more online friends because my parents monitor everyone I talk to. So I literally can't vent to anyone to my parents, nor my therapist half the time because they tell my parents way too much.

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I’m new to reddit and not great at this type of writing, so if you need any more information that I left out please ask. Also, even if you don't have any pearls of wisdom I would really like to know that someone acknowledged this. And if you know any other subreddits I could ask for help in that would be great :D