u/Flimsy-Bee6545

i don’t know how to start this but i’m broken. i never got any love or comforting from anyone my whole life. from an early age they saw me as the independent child. i still share a bedroom with my disabled brother (Down syndrome) who would hit and curse me and scream all day long, and no one does anything about this. even when i record videos for my mom to show her how violent he becomes, she doesn’t care. he stays at home all day, we live in a small apartment, a family of 10, and i have nowhere to cry, not even the bathroom. so i stay on my bed and hear him scream in the tiny room, and i’ve tried headphones, earbuds, anything to make me not hear his voice, but nothing helps. my whole life, till now, he would touch and break my stuff, and he was the one that got all the love and support, and i was the angry/disrupted one. no one ever cared that i was crying or depressed since i was a child, or that i don’t have friends, or that i hate everything about me. they would only blame me and say that i share bad energy. so i started to create a mother character who would care about me, like people i see in real life, and i’d start crying. that was from 14 years ago till now. hope i can move out one day and heal from this.

i also want to add that i’ve been doing online therapy and i don’t feel like it’s helping. i pay everything i have for a 45 minute session, and the whole time i stutter and say things that don’t mean anything, and the therapist says i’ll get better in the coming sessions. i’m on my fifth session now. i have one friend, and i feel like she doesn’t really care much about this, and i don’t blame her at all, but i’m very depressed and i feel a loneliness that no one could ever understand.

i don’t know how to start this but i’m broken. i never got any love or comforting from anyone my whole life. from an early age they saw me as the independent child. i still share a bedroom with my disabled brother (Down syndrome) who would hit and curse me and scream all day long, and no one does anything about this. even when i record videos for my mom to show her how violent he becomes, she doesn’t care. he stays at home all day, we live in a small apartment, a family of 10, and i have nowhere to cry, not even the bathroom. so i stay on my bed and hear him scream in the tiny room, and i’ve tried headphones, earbuds, anything to make me not hear his voice, but nothing helps. my whole life, till now, he would touch and break my stuff, and he was the one that got all the love and support, and i was the angry/disrupted one. no one ever cared that i was crying or depressed since i was a child, or that i don’t have friends, or that i hate everything about me. they would only blame me and say that i share bad energy. so i started to create a mother character who would care about me, like people i see in real life, and i’d start crying. that was from 14 years ago till now. hope i can move out one day and heal from this.

i also want to add that i’ve been doing online therapy and i don’t feel like it’s helping. i pay everything i have for a 45 minute session, and the whole time i stutter and say things that don’t mean anything, and the therapist says i’ll get better in the coming sessions. i’m on my fifth session now. i have one friend, and i feel like she doesn’t really care much about this, and i don’t blame her at all, but i’m very depressed and i feel a loneliness that no one could ever understand.

i don’t know how to start this but i’m broken. i never got any love or comforting from anyone my whole life. from an early age they saw me as the independent child. i still share a bedroom with my disabled brother (Down syndrome) who would hit and curse me and scream all day long, and no one does anything about this. even when i record videos for my mom to show her how violent he becomes, she doesn’t care. he stays at home all day, we live in a small apartment, a family of 10, and i have nowhere to cry, not even the bathroom. so i stay on my bed and hear him scream in the tiny room, and i’ve tried headphones, earbuds, anything to make me not hear his voice, but nothing helps. my whole life, till now, he would touch and break my stuff, and he was the one that got all the love and support, and i was the angry/disrupted one. no one ever cared that i was crying or depressed since i was a child, or that i don’t have friends, or that i hate everything about me. they would only blame me and say that i share bad energy. so i started to create a mother character who would care about me, like people i see in real life, and i’d start crying. that was from 14 years ago till now. hope i can move out one day and heal from this.

i also want to add that i’ve been doing online therapy and i don’t feel like it’s helping. i pay everything i have for a 45 minute session, and the whole time i stutter and say things that don’t mean anything, and the therapist says i’ll get better in the coming sessions. i’m on my fifth session now. i have one friend, and i feel like she doesn’t really care much about this, and i don’t blame her at all, but i’m very depressed and i feel a loneliness that no one could ever understand.

i don’t know how to start this but i’m broken. i never got any love or comforting from anyone my whole life. from an early age they saw me as the independent child. i still share a bedroom with my disabled brother (Down syndrome) who would hit and curse me and scream all day long, and no one does anything about this. even when i record videos for my mom to show her how violent he becomes, she doesn’t care. he stays at home all day, we live in a small apartment, a family of 10, and i have nowhere to cry, not even the bathroom. so i stay on my bed and hear him scream in the tiny room, and i’ve tried headphones, earbuds, anything to make me not hear his voice, but nothing helps. my whole life, till now, he would touch and break my stuff, and he was the one that got all the love and support, and i was the angry/disrupted one. no one ever cared that i was crying or depressed since i was a child, or that i don’t have friends, or that i hate everything about me. they would only blame me and say that i share bad energy. so i started to create a mother character who would care about me, like people i see in real life, and i’d start crying. that was from 14 years ago till now. hope i can move out one day and heal from this.

i also want to add that i’ve been doing online therapy and i don’t feel like it’s helping. i pay everything i have for a 45 minute session, and the whole time i stutter and say things that don’t mean anything, and the therapist says i’ll get better in the coming sessions. i’m on my fifth session now. i have one friend, and i feel like she doesn’t really care much about this, and i don’t blame her at all, but i’m very depressed and i feel a loneliness that no one could ever understand.