u/GayCatbirdd

I have a skin condition that makes showering a difficult task, it takes me a few days to recover from a shower.

Do we have to shower the night before, my plastic and breast surgeon haven’t mentioned anything or sent me anything saying to shower before, but my family is hellbent on me doing so, but I am already anxious about how my skin will recover from surgery, and I don’t want to really be recovering from a surgery and a shower at the same time.

How did you handle the night before your surgery or morning of, did you shower? If so with what kind of products?

Another question those of you with chronic skin issues did you use any prescription topicals after the surgery or before?

Thank you for reading any other suggestions are welcome, I am allergic to coconut which makes using products hard, as most have coconut derived ingredients, and water hurts me too for some reason.

I went through a pretty tough breakup earlier this year with my longterm partner who I was engaged with for a year, together for 3. It was a LDR, but we had met in person for months at a time.

But something she said to me while she was being really unfair to me in a sexual sense is just pissing me off. She had attempted suicide and blamed me, and even when I stood firm that its not healthy for her to blame me for something I did not make her do by the way, she seemingly kept a horrible resentment for me, which made me uncomfortable in the relationship effectively destroying my libido, as the relationship stayed unhealthy so did my drive, my attraction ruined.

She became increasingly hyper sexual, constantly asking to have sex, which didn’t help with mine staying, I ended up forcing myself a few times because she claimed she wasn’t happy with herself unless she was having sex. But she still was miserable and was unhappy with my performance in bed, probably because I was forcing myself.

But one night she followed me into my car, I like to go on drives to get away at night and just listen to music and when we finally returned home, she asked ‘just tell me if your asexual because I will break up with you right now’ and I know the relationship is over now, but that really knocked me off my feet, I am not asexual, I am demisexual, I need a comfortable relationship and partner that treats me with basic respect and dignity to be aroused. If I am fucking turning asexual in a relationship, its my partner who is fucking up, not me.

I was uncomfortable with her mental state, her resentment of me, her blatant abuse, her constant want to have sex with me, making me feel like she didn’t want me for anything else but that, and worse of all her admission of falling for one of our friends, I wish she would have never been honest about this, she claims she told me to strengthen our bond, but honestly it made me not trust her, then she constantly talked about sexual things and how she saw everyone as someone fuckable, it just was a huge turn off for me, I lost all my want and desire to even participate in that aspect of life because she just made it so revolting.

I am not asexual for needing a stable relationship to want to have sex, if anything that experience made me realize, even tho I enjoy sex in a relationship where I have a loving partner, id rather have a loving partner and no sex. Its not like she didn’t know I was demi, it’s the first thing I say, I tell potential partners I need time before I like you, I go slow. And idk if she just forgot that, or she hated me so much, she was hoping id break up with her, which I did.

Im not asexual, yes I am on the ace spectrum, but I am demisexual and I like sex.

I am thinking of going back to school for a engineering field, I am thinking about either biomedical or electrical, those of you who have these jobs do you find your eczema effects them? And if so how? And also why did you choose that field of engineering, and those of you in other fields of engineering what is it like with eczema?

My eczema is moderate to severe and covers about 30% of my skin its on my hands face arms entire scalp, do those of you who are engineers and know eczema think that would impact my work ability? I wear gloves constantly already.

Anyone skinny still able to get OTM even when surgeons tell you that your skin was too thin before hand?

What was your experience with this? Do you like your results? Did you end up having any complications? Did you have to keep switching surgeons before you found one willing to do OTM even though you were told skin was too thin?

I guess my plastic surgeon is so sure with his ability to put implants UTM because I had no idea my strength may potentially be at risk, I did mention to him I like bouldering, archery and dance, and these are things I absolutely want to continue to do after the surgery, I am very thin 125 lbs 5 4 with a small chest maybe a cup or b(haven’t worn bras for years so I have no idea what size I actually am) willing to go smaller for mastectomy. I was originally thinking of going flat but it really messed with my mental confidence that I decided on implants last minute. Surgeon says my skin is too thin for OTM.

But now I am seeing posts about people losing strength, so I want to know if anyone has had a successful UTM where they are still able to do all the weight involved upper body tasks they enjoyed before they got UTM.

Are there any of you out there?

Short question:

What surgery options are there for someone who has had a double mastectomy without any expanders/reconstruction yet?

Longer but similar question:

I have already spoken to a plastic surgeon about what potential things can happen after a Double mastectomy, but I was also wondering what you guys think, my plastic surgeon said I can get implants later on after the double mastectomy/get reconstruction after. Is this true? his thoughts were just get everything removed and if I do not like what it looks like I can always come back to see him and then we could do actual reconstruction/implants. And since I am so skinny my layer of skin is already thin, so he thinks separate surgeries would benefit me anyways.

I do trust he’s correct in this but I would just like to know others agree with this.

As I said I am skinny, and have small breasts, I wanted to go flat and keep my nipples, but plastic surgeon said he could only do a male configuration, but I want to present feminine, so I am seeing first how ‘saggy’ I get and then probably will try smaller implants if I do not like the way that looks.

But do any of you have suggestions on other surgery options, I am new to all of this as I have the BRCA gene and never thought to change my body, I am kinda forced into this. Again I am skinny, so fat transfer isn’t an option for me.

I am not currently looking, but I would like to get a head start on thinking about it. Those of you who are demi and in relationships, how did you do it?
Where did you meet, apps? Irl? Hobbies?

I have crippling anxiety so it is difficult for me to jump into a date early on without actually knowing the person more.

And those of you who are single and demi, hows it going? What has been best that you have noticed for finding people, even if it hasn’t found you a relationship yet.

In the past I have used discord and apps(Her) but these things are not like they used to be, and I would like to eventually find someone closer to me.

Whats the cold tolerance for luna moth cats? I have a hundred that just hatched and wish to release the majority outside on host plants while hiking, but we are currently experiencing a freak cold drop, its mid 40’s F at night here for next 2 days. And next week it’s gonna do it again. Will they survive a drop like this?

Has anyone here had a double mastectomy done with chronic eczema? I have one scheduled for later this year, and was just wondering if anyone before the mastectomy got like a steroid injection or if their doctors recommended to do something different due to eczema.

I get about 3-5 spam calls a day from 866 numbers and 833 and 877 and sometimes even my area code, ever since I added the spam blocker app all it does is block my doctors but does absolutely nothing to stop the constant stream of ai voice message loan calls.

I don’t want to answer the calls because I am scared it will make it worse, but its been months of 3-5 calls a day at all times a day, 7 am 10 pm, its driving me insane, I have 66 voicemails because a week ago I decided maybe if my voice mail fills up they will stop calling, but my box is only 95% full.

Is there anything I can do to stop these?