I feel like life never really went back to normal after Covid.
I’m 32 now, and before Covid I was working as a waitress. The money wasn’t great, but I genuinely loved the job. I loved chatting to people, working in a team, having a laugh with the chefs, and meeting tourists. We had a lot of American tourists in the restaurant in Ireland and they were always so friendly and chatty.
Outside of work, life felt full. My family had parties and BBQs, people were always round, and my friends and I were doing something nearly every weekend, nights out, house parties, camping, random plans.
Then Covid happened.
We mostly stuck to the rules. No visitors, no meeting up, no normal social life. I ended up getting an office job working long shifts with people I didn’t particularly click with. The parties stopped. Some of my friends had kids. My parents got older and didn’t want people round as much. My friend group drifted.
I bought a house with my partner three years ago, and at the start we had people round a few times, but it often turned messy, things got broken, and it just wasn’t enjoyable. I’d love to have chilled movie nights or cosy nights in, but most people seem to only want to come round if drinking is involved.
I feel really stuck. The only time I seem to properly connect with people now is when I’m in bars drinking, but I don’t even enjoy that anymore. The hangovers aren’t worth it, and it doesn’t feel like me anymore.
I’m not really sure what the purpose of this post is. I think I just needed to vent.
I’m surrounded by people all the time, but I’ve never felt so lonely.