u/Gold-Reason6338

Hi All! Not a rant at all, I just didn’t know what to pick!

This really just an observation, but I recently started a new job as an Executive Assistant and I feel like I finally understand what this role actually is.

I’m a true EA. I manage scheduling, calendars, travel, dinners, events, and work on my executives’ priorities.
I’m not simultaneously the receptionist, treasury manager, personal assistant, office/operations manager, and whatever else happens to need doing, all while having an “Executive Assistant” title.

I genuinely have no idea what my actual job titles should have been at some of my previous roles, but apparently it was not this. 😂

That’s all. Just a realization I needed to share with people who would understand.

We just got home from an extended stay with my in-laws, and living together that long completely changed how I feel about future visits. They live in a different state which is 3hrs on plane.

For context, we’re Asian (Indian). Staying with family when visiting is culturally normal for us, so “just get a hotel” would absolutely be interpreted as a statement that something is wrong.

I have a 5-month-old, and the biggest issue is that I feel like my MIL has zero respect for me as his mother or for anything I tell her about my own baby.

I’ll say, “He’s tired, he needs to sleep,” and she’ll immediately say, “No he’s not!” If he cries, she’ll announce, “Oh, it’s his feeding time!” even if I literally fed him 45 minutes ago. No, he isn’t hungry. I know when I fed my child.

Another example is, me telling her for MONTHS that rubbing his eyes is one of his tired cues. During this trip she suddenly announced, “Oh! He rubs his eyes when he’s tired!” like she had just discovered it herself. This happens constantly. I tell her something and she either doesn’t listen or later acts like nobody ever told her.

She’s also SO loud. My baby would finally be asleep and she’d be talking loudly nearby. I asked if we could please use our indoor voices because he was sleeping and she responded, “This IS my indoor voice.” 🙃

She makes lots of loud repetitive baby noises at him too, which is whatever, but then makes petty comments implying my husband and I don’t talk to him enough. I talk to my baby all day! I just speak to him conversationally instead of doing “goo goo ga ga.”

By the end of the trip, I felt like I was constantly having to defend completely normal parenting decisions. It wasn’t helpful, it was exhausting. Like she told me and my husband to go on date night. We came back at 11pm and he is on the play mat PLAYING! I grabbed him and was like okay time for bed! He fell asleep right away. I was furious she let him stay awake that late!

My husband has been oblivious, saying “just let them have their time with him, they never see him,” meaning let his mom and dad do whatever.

Since coming home, the difference has been wild. My son seems so happy to have peace and quiet again. He slept 9 hours straight last night and has been taking long 1–2 hour naps. He’s also getting over a cold with a snotty nose/cough, and despite all the intense grandma energy during the visit, my in-laws haven’t even called or texted to ask how he’s doing.

Here’s my dilemma: my husband wants MIL to come stay with us for a few WEEKS next year to “help” with the baby.
Before this trip I might have agreed. Now? Absolutely not. Even the idea of a weekend makes me tense. Someone who constantly contradicts me about my own child and makes maintaining his routine harder is not “help.”

I don’t want this to become “your mom vs. me,” but extended stays simply do not work for me. I told my husband about extended stays and told him he can go back to see friends and family for long weekends, but me and baby will not be joining.

For anyone with similar family/cultural dynamics, how did you handle future visits? Did you set hard limits on length? And how did you get your spouse to understand that having MIL stay for weeks would create MORE work, not less?

I could really use an outside perspective because I'm starting to question whether I'm becoming overly sensitive or whether this dynamic is genuinely becoming too much.

My MIL is hosting a large family gathering to introduce our baby to the extended family. I appreciate that she's excited and wants to celebrate him, but over the past several weeks I've found myself getting increasingly anxious about the visit. This is the baby’s first time on the plane and that preparation alone is anxiety provoking.

This isn't really about one specific incident. It's more that there seems to be a recurring pattern where she's very confident that her way is the best way, even after we've explained what has been working for us. Sometimes she's right, and sometimes things don't go as expected, but I still end up feeling like my input isn't really heard until after the fact.

One example: before our trip, my husband and I suggested ordering our baby's usual essentials online and having them shipped ahead of time so we'd know we had the exact brands we use. She insisted that wasn't necessary and that she'd shop for everything herself. We mentioned that a few of those items can be surprisingly difficult to find depending on the store, but she reassured us it would be easy. Now she's been to multiple stores, can't find everything, and keeps calling us with questions. It feels like we had a simple solution, it was dismissed, and now everyone is more stressed than they needed to be.

There have also been other situations where we'll say we already have something handled, but she'll go ahead and make different arrangements anyway. I truly believe she's trying to help, but after a while it starts to feel like our plans and decisions as parents aren't really being heard.

The hardest part is that I'm noticing my own mindset changing. I can feel myself becoming irritated by almost everything she does now, and I don't like feeling that way. I don't want to spend this trip feeling resentful because I genuinely want my child to have a good relationship with his grandparents.

Has anyone experienced a relationship where it wasn't one huge issue, but lots of small things that slowly wore you down? How did you handle it? Did you change your mindset, set firmer boundaries, or was there something else that helped?

I could really use an outside perspective because I’m starting to question whether I'm becoming overly sensitive or whether this dynamic is genuinely becoming too much.

My MIL is hosting a large family gathering to introduce our baby to the extended family. I appreciate that she's excited and wants to celebrate him, but over the past several weeks I've found myself getting increasingly anxious about the visit. It’s also baby first time on a plane which is also anxiety provoking.

This isn't really about one specific incident. It's more that there seems to be a recurring pattern where she's very confident that her way is the best way, even after we've explained what has been working for us. Sometimes she's right, and sometimes things don't go as expected, but I still end up feeling like my input isn't really heard until after the fact.

One example: before our trip, my husband and I suggested ordering our baby's usual essentials online and having them shipped ahead of time so we'd know we had the exact brands we use. She insisted that wasn't necessary and that she'd shop for everything herself. We mentioned that a few of those items can be surprisingly difficult to find depending on the store, but she reassured us it would be easy. Now she's been to multiple stores, can't find everything, and keeps calling us with questions. It feels like we had a simple solution, it was dismissed, and now everyone is more stressed than they needed to be.

There have also been other situations where we'll say we already have something handled, but she'll go ahead and make different arrangements anyway. For example, getting additional baby stuff we don’t need or that the baby has outgrown. I truly believe she's trying to help, but after a while it starts to feel like our plans and decisions as parents aren't really being heard.

The hardest part is that I'm noticing my own mindset changing. I can feel myself becoming irritated by almost everything she does now, and I don't like feeling that way. I don't want to spend this trip feeling resentful because I genuinely want my child to have a good relationship with his grandparents.

Has anyone experienced a relationship where it wasn't one huge issue, but lots of small things that slowly wore you down? How did you handle it? Did you change your mindset, set firmer boundaries, or was there something else that helped?

Maybe I'm just overly literal, but I've noticed people sometimes describe a pregnancy as "unplanned," and then explain that they weren't using contraception, were emotionally ready for a baby, and would've been happy if they got pregnant.

To me, that feels different from an "oops" pregnancy. I'd probably describe it as "we weren't trying, but we weren't preventing either," or "it happened sooner than expected."

Am I in the minority? Do most people use "unplanned" much more broadly than I do?

For context, this came to mind after reading an influencer's post. She described her pregnancy as "unplanned," but then explained they weren't preventing pregnancy and she would've been disappointed if the test had been negative. It made me wonder if I'm interpreting the word "unplanned" more narrowly than most people.

Hello I was wondering if you could help me with this unusual request. I am switching jobs and my timeline is as follows:

8/3 - end of job A
8/31 - end of coverage A
8/3 - start of job B and if I elect their benefits, it would start effective Aug 1

The problem is, I’m in the middle of figuring out an IVF cycle. Plan A covers it, plan B does not.

I was planning on doing cobra for 1 month until 9/30 until my procedure is fully completed.

Note: job B open enrollment is November for Jan 1 start date but cobra would be $2400 a month (which employer A is providing to cover the cost) so I don’t plan on keeping it until end of year.

How would this work? Which plan would be primary and secondary? I’m so confused because if I commit to my ivf cycle, it seems 1 wrong move would mean I’m responsible for the full amount so I need to know when to enroll for what when.

Any guidance is appreciated.

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping to get some perspective because I'm feeling pretty anxious.

I recently accepted a new job and am going through the background check process. My start date is next week, and the background check company reached out because they had a few outstanding employment and education verifications. I was able to provide documentation and contacts for my previous employers.

The only issue is with a post-baccalaureate diploma I attended about 15 years ago in another country. They asked for a copy of the diploma, but I haven't been able to locate it. I contacted the college, and they told me that I did not apply to graduate from the program before discontinuing my studies. I distinctly remember completing all of the required coursework, so I replied asking whether I completed the academic requirements but simply never applied to graduate, or whether something else was outstanding.

My bachelor's degree has already been verified, and this post-baccalaureate program isn't related to the job I'll be doing.

Has anyone experienced something similar during a background check? If it turns out I completed the program requirements but never formally applied to graduate, is that something employers typically view as an administrative issue, or could it jeopardize my offer?

The background check company also said they were retained by the employer to attempt to verify all prior employment and education credentials (key word attempt).

Thanks in advance!

My employer is doing a RIF (reduction in force) which I am going to be a part of. Employer will pay 4 months of the cost of cobra. Suppose I get a new job and sign up for their insurance, can I keep cobra for 2 months? The reason I need this plan is because it covers 3 ivf cycles and I plan on doing 1 cycle in October (can’t do it before then).

My questions:
- can have two insurances (primary and secondary is cobra)
-the new employer insurance would begin the 1st of the month of hire (let’s say Sept 1)
-the old employer insurance would end the last day of the month (say Sept 30)

How would i navigate this as it’s less expensive for me to pay cobra for 2 months vs $20k out of pocket.

Thank you in advance

I am on the latest episode on Hulu (original air date in UK July 3) and I have sooo many thoughts!

Justice for the Casa girls because what was even the point of bringing them into the main villa if the boys are just going to ignore them??

Seems like no genuine connections. Lola and Sean are boring. Ellie and Finley seem good, same with Yasmin and Tommy. Asides from them I don’t know.

Yasmin seems like the only one who is serious about looking for a connection.

We need a reset. Send in bombshells for the Casa girls and Priya because she is about to be done so dirty with Movie Night coming up. I don’t get why people don’t like her.

Also get Aidan and Simba off my screen. Kav too while we’re at it.

Mica is so fake, I’m sorry. First it was “I don’t like Samraj” and then Priya likes him and suddenly Mica wants Samraj. Now Priya is with Jordan and Mica is like “oh Jordan is my type”?? Like girl leave Priya alone. Stop going for everyone she likes. As a South Asian woman it really irks me.

And Lola… I used to like her but after how she treated Julia, I’m done. She can go too.

Love love love Mara though. The way she spoke to Simba at the firepit was everything. She deserves someone for her ASAP.

Would love to hear your thoughts because what is going on!??

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for recommendations for fertility clinics in the SF Bay Area.

A little background:

- Unexplained infertility
-Currently 3 months postpartum with our IVF baby
-We previously chose CNY Colorado because we were paying completely out of pocket and cost was a major factor
-We had success from a Day 5 4AA euploid embryo and now have a healthy baby

I recently found out my insurance covers IVF, so I'm considering one final retrieval before trying for baby #2

We have the following embryos remaining:

-Day 7 4BC euploid
-Day 6 6BB low-level mosaic

One concern is that we seem to struggle with both blast and euploid rates.

ER #1 (age 37 years, 8 months)
-14 eggs retrieved
-13 mature
-9 fertilized
-3 blasts
-Day 7 4BC euploid / Day 6 4AB high-level mosaic / Day 6 4AA aneuploid

ER #2 (age 38 years, 1 month)
-10 eggs retrieved
-6 mature
-6 fertilized
- 3 blasts
-Day 5 4AA euploid (live birth) / Day 6 6BB low-level mosaic / Day 6 aneuploid

By the time we pursue another retrieval, I'll be approximately 39.5 years old.

For those who have gone through IVF in the Bay Area:
Which clinic did you choose and why?

Did you switch clinics and see better embryo or euploid rates?

Were there any clinics that stood out because of their lab quality?

If you had one euploid and one mosaic remaining at my age, would you bank embryos first or transfer the remaining euploid first?

I'd love to hear both positive and negative experiences.

Thank you and apologies if weird formatting as typing from my phone!

Hi All,

Posting on behalf of a friend who is feeling pretty defeated and looking for ideas to discuss with her RE. She doesn’t have a Reddit account and this sub has been so helpful for me when I was going through my IVF.

She has confirmed endometriosis (and adenomyosis), has transferred multiple euploid embryos, and has had several failed transfers, including one chemical pregnancy. Before her most recent transfer, she completed a course of Lupron Depot, but unfortunately that transfer was also unsuccessful.

For those with endometriosis or adenomyosis and eventually had success:
- What was your FET protocol?
- Did you do Lupron Depot? If so, for how long?
- Did you have surgery before transfer?
- Did you use letrozole, antihistamines, steroids, intralipids, or any immune treatments?
- Was your transfer fully medicated, modified natural, or natural?
- How many transfers did it take before you found the protocol that worked?

Would especially love to hear from anyone who had multiple failed euploid transfers before finding success. What ended up being the missing piece?

My suggestion was for her to get a second opinion, but I wanted to help gather real-world experiences and ideas she can discuss with her doctor before deciding whether to move on from her current clinic.

Thank you all in advance ❤️ We truly appreciate any insight you can share.