u/Gracedoesdoodlies

I usually play flute (I’ve played it for 4 yrs roughly and I’m currently 19) and I really love it and still continue it to this day.

Ive always wanted to play another instrument alongside so I can learn more skills and gain a bit of inspiration. I really love the harp as it’s so beautiful and I heard you can get smaller ones (often called Celtic harps I think or lever harps? Sorry I’m such a newbie 😭😭😭) that are functional and you can play pieces on them.

I’m not sure if it’s bad however because I’ve heard learning two instruments is considered a no no. I’m not a serious musician tbh, I mainly play music as a hobby to help me soothe my mental health as I’m on antidepressants atm and I thought learning new hobbies would help a bit. I was also thinking a harp could be handy so I can get more used to reading bass clefs instead of just treble clefs as flute music sheets don‘t ever use bass clefs. I will still develop my skills in flute playing obviously I just like the idea of learning the harp too I’m not really aiming to master anything as again I’m not too serious about music as I’m more of a hobbyist. Should I get a harp or not I’m not sure?
idk what do u guys think I should do? thought I would ask the experts lol

Also yes I do practice regularly lmao

So upon revisiting my core hyperfixation of the 1989 movie honey I shrunk the kids yes I know talking about it in the big 26 but I came up with a theory lol

It all started because OH MY FREAKING GOD WHY IS THE DOG SO SMART

Hear me out just hear me out ok?

I think Quark has a fraction of Waynes consiousness and I can PROVE IT

I CAN PROVE IT SERIOUSLY

Its established in the movie that Wayne has a sofa in the attic he dubbed as the thinking couch. Hear me out I generally think this couch is one of his early inventions/prototypes think about it NO ACTUALLY

. This mf builds the most insane shit especially in the TV show he already built a device that could SWAP BRAINS THERE ARE PARALELLS HERE and since the TV show takes place canoniclly after the first movie it would make sense he would build a better version of the thinking couch. Did I mention his brain in one episode got zapped into Quarks BODY??!

So its safe to say he would bs the type to build a device that oompths up his brain power everytime he needs to think. Now heres where my theory gets either interesting or stupid

.Quark goes on the couch all the time with him HE CHEWED ON THE COUCH

what if him chewing on the couch messed with the physical wireing making it malfunction and Waynes consiousness like a fraction of it was transported into Quarks brain. Like his brainpower was transported through both of their buttocks. Like maybe it works because the heat from their butts power up the thinking couch too. Since heat creates energy. Prehaps it works because buttocks are famously warm parts of the body and the thermal heat triggers the couch to power up but thats just a specualation rather just a idea on how it might work though the movie dosnt really hint at how it works this is a rough idea of how it might idk lol

It explains why the dog is so smart but it also explains waynes behaviour.

He saw his child in a bowl of cereal and didnt look horrified half the time this dude is ligitimately absent and clumsy as hell which can be explained with the fact he lost some of his consiousness. This can also be said for when he noticed the sofa was missing and didnt think for one single second that maybe the machiene worked I mean if u make a device that midgetficates things THEN a couch DISSAPPEARS RANDOMLY you would at least think for a second maybe?

LIKE MAYBE YOU WOULD THINK OH MY GOD IT WORKED?? BRO WHAT

He is also very impulsive as well throughout the movies (and the show) which some could pin it up to a simple personality trait but honestly it makes the brain consioussness thing make more sense though it could be a combination of both. Whats also very weird is that in the sequal Wayne is consitantly figuring out how to make things grow which does NOT make any sense because at the end of the first movie he literally made food huge for a family gathering. Even the most scatterbrained man on earth would forget such a thing he wouldve brought it up right.

But conviantly he remembers he can do this with the original machiene which he uses to blow up Diane. I thought this was a plot hole but then again it would make a ton of sense for him to forget such a important detail if he has lost some of his consiousness. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS IS A PLOT HOLE

. Quark on the other hand was smart enough to stop wayne from committing child cannibalism accidently via the cheerio scene. We also see he seems to understand human language especially when Amy tells him to be quiet when the kids are freshly shrunken in the attic. He also understood Amy's command to go and get their fathers attention which most dogs would be confused af if you asked them a question like this. Quark also has traits that completely are the opposite to waynes. Hes not impulsive nor scatterbrained which makes waynes behaviour make more sense he is literally losing a fraction of his brain. He does have moments where he acts more like a normal dog hence why I think its most possibly only a quarter of waynes consiousness and not say 50 percent.

So yes

In conclusion Wayne's consiousness and brainpower was thrown into Quarks brain by a quarter and Im convinced

But hey thats just a theory

I literally thought of this randomly and wrote it down because I thought it was funny

TW warning: mentions of mental health and other things like thoughts of "exiting" and self harm idk if you are sensitive to these topics pleaae do not read this page if so

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Ive just turned 19 and I guess Ive been alright idk but I wanted to check if this is normal or Im just weird.

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Is it weird I generally dont understand anything anymore

Like why is everyone making up words suddenly

At 18 I was so so scared of grownuppyhood (I know my nickname of it is odd but it makes it sounds less scary for me)

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I ended up on pozac and had counselling at one point so I dont get meltdowns anymore or hurt myself because there was a point were I couldnt cope with college and I had to quit and go home I ligit had panic attacks over other people turning 18 and I ended up trying to do my work in the bathrooms so I can sob without anyone seeing me because it made me feel pathetic.

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Im with my parents now at home atm and Ive started knitting things and decorating my room as a little cave where I can hide from the world when I want to I like crafting things and making art it makes things make more sense to me. Its helping me a lot at least so Im glad I have some coping mechanisms.

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Im still a kid and I dont mean legally or however most define it. Im dead serious. I generally feel like Im 12 and I feel so wrong for it

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My friend said she did s** and I honestly dont believe her I know it sounds horrible but I generally think arnt we too young for that we are only 19 yrs old we are literal teenagets but idk if thats because I feel very young so it wiplashes me mentally when I see my friends drinking or doing mature things.

I still get excited over bouncy castle then I get dissapointed and depressed hours after they say Im not allowed to join.

It feels like geniune torture to me not being able to play around I literally put a pan on my head when I clean because I get so so annoyed and misrable when I cant be playful.

I am not trying to shame my friends for being more grown up then me Im glad they are! I just dont understand generally how they manage it and how they grew up right meanwhile Im just...there and I dont relate to anything they say I never had a boyfriend/girlfriend never had sexual desires and I dont even like alcohol either. I didnt even fit in in high school and I used to be bullied because I openly played in my imagination (which I still do currently just more privately)

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I also got embrassed when my friend was drinking and I thought "oh everyone can see we are legal this is so embarassing." Yes I find it embrassing to tell my age to people. Idk if the internet also affected me on this because Ive seen some things and I have blocked them out so I dont go insane. So many people my age call themselves washed out and expired and it makes me wonder if I am too and it really hurts man.

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There was a point where in my lowest moment that I wished I perished at 17 instead of living on. I DO NOT think that anymore because the medicine is helping but sometimes I skip it because if i run out I have to call the doctors again and I hate doing it its so scary and everytime I go alone I burst into tears and embrass myself in frount of everyone.

The only thing thats helping me cope with the idea of being 19 is the fact that Im the same age as Alice from the movie (the tim burton one) I loved when I was little so it gives me the hope that maybe something magical can happen to me something away from this world I dont fit into. I relate to Alice a lot.

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I have so many nightmares about grownuppyhood in general now too I had a nightmare that I was 28 sitting in my room and hating my life so I would just use a projector to look at photos of 8 yo me and wanting nothing but the past I woke up crying because of it

I also have other dreams were everybody over a certain age vanished (a thing I like to nickname the sparticle trope britiah people will get it lol) and I didnt vanish so all the kids in the world reffered to me as "the anomoly"

I dont know why am I not normal I feel like im so immature and stupid sometimes lol.

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I guess on the bright side Im going to move in with my friend and I adore her a ton shes so kind ligit the best friend ive ever had in my life and shes helped me make a little plan where she will help me understand everything when we move in.

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Tbh the only reason why I am excited is because I love being around her and I feel like I would be looked after well shes a very wonderful friend and I feel safe around her and I can open up.

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we plan to have pet rats and I love small animals I would love to have a companion in my pocket so everytime I have to do a adultish thing I have a small friend thats there with me. I like small animals...and small things in general. Sometimes when Im in bed I daydream that Im actually asleep in a small matchbox and being a small little creature snuggled in warmly. I do the same thing outside sometimes. Sometimes I like to pretend Im small in a big feild of grass and flowers that I can explore endlessly.

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I just feel like a walking glitch I know its considered normal to feel like a small child but everyone is so good at masking it meanwhile Im tripping over and stumbling with my words like a idiot because Im so scared everyone can see through me or read my thoughts I feel like they can all see that Im in the wrong body. I remember at some point I hated getting changed because I didnt like seeing my body bare.

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Also (god Im rambling too much im so srry)

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I dont know why but every since as well adults told me years will get shorter Ive been anylising my time perception like hell. Im actively making myself learn new hobbies so I dont forget the years and they will slip by like nothing. Im really scared this will happen to me so now I have a oath to learn a new thing at least every year or couple of months so I dont end up forgetting anything and having that perception of time. Because thats horrible and I want to be a snail I want to move slow.

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I get nightmares about this too even

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I dont mind years passing but I dont want things to get so fast I end up on a deathbed in a second.

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Its gotten to the point where I just feel discontected from everyone I feel like a walking alien I dont know is this wrong is there something deeply wrong with me?

Im trying so hard to "get over it" but Im generally frightened and Im also worried of my parents dying too because theyre in their late 30s now. I need them I cant live without them even if I end up far away I still need my mum and dad.

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Why am I so scared and what should I do? The reason why I mainly want to move in with my friend is because I want to push myself so I wont be scared anymore but I still am and I generally dont know what to do.

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Sorry that was a really long rant I didnt expect it to be this long just wanted to vent really because it feels safer rambling behind a screen then talking to people directly irl

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idk just wanted to know if others feel the same