u/GrassConscious111

For me personally as someone that’s genderfluid, depending on my hair. It will tell you how I’m feeling/my pronouns then. For example, i have like long (ish) hair (goes down to about my shoulders). So when my hair is tied up at the back normally, i feel more masculine yk. But when it’s tied in more of a bun. It’s really just anything else, feminine or non-binary! I haven’t seen anyone do this before, so maybe just me? But it’s something unique me.

What’s yall unique stuff???

TRUE LOVE, BROKEN ROADS, KEEP THE FLOWERS, JESSE, TOO EAZY. ALL BANGERSSSS

I’m more of just scared to go to school or just wishing i don’t have to go, but will that happen? Nope.

Like most the school hates me, i don’t even think my friends like, teachers probably don’t like me. Nobody likes me anymore. Yet it’s all my fault so idk why I’m even sad about this. Everybody thinks I’m transgender and weird. I should’ve never grown out my hair, i just look like a fucking mess. I wish I was never like this, i hate being genderfluid and bisexual. Why couldn’t i have been normal for this generation. Idk what to do anymore because I know there’s no fix for any of this since i caused it all.

So does anyone know how i can fix my mistakes?

I’m more of just scared to go to school or just wishing i don’t have to go, but will that happen? Nope.

Like most the school hates me, i don’t even think my friends like, teachers probably don’t like me. Nobody likes me anymore. Yet it’s all my fault so idk why I’m even sad about this. Everybody thinks I’m transgender and weird. I should’ve never grown out my hair, i just look like a fucking mess. I wish I was never like this, i hate being genderfluid and bisexual. Why couldn’t i have been normal for this generation. Idk what to do anymore because I know there’s no fix for any of this since i caused it all.

So does anyone know how i can fix my mistakes?

So today I had a ski trip with school, and me and my friends were obviously in a group. But one of my friends I was with a lot (we’ll call him J), he out of the blue asked me when I was putting my bag in the bus. “Are you transgender?” Those exact words, not even like a “yo bro”. I thought he was like part joking or something, since I get confused for being a girl every now and then or called transgender. And right before he asked that I was talking about my long hair.

TURNS OUT THAT WASNT THE REASON AT ALL. Now for a bit of context before this, I’ve recently realised I am genderfluid. So in my discord pfp, I’ve got “He/She/They” for my pronouns. And normally no one checks my pfp, well at least not J and my school friends since I don’t text them much.

But on the bus later on I was sitting next to him and he said.
J: “Hey so you know how I asked you if you were transgender”.
Me: “Yeah?”
J: “Yeah this is why”
he pulls up my discord pfp
J: “You have she there?”
Me: “Okay uhm, this is not the place to talk about it. I’ll tell you later okay?”
J: “Okay?”

I haven’t been able to tell him, i was going to after the ski trip but he had to go. I’m probably going to text him later tonight about it, i don’t REALLY want to tell him. As I don’t really know his thoughts on queer stuff. But if he ain’t no homophobe or anything it’ll be fine. It was definitely awkward thing today. I know he is really respectful of stuff, but I don’t think he’ll understand the concept of gender fluid. Then he’s probably gon ask about my sexuality after I DAMN KNOW IT 😭😭😭

also ski trip was lwk buns, only got to ski for like an hour then we had to leave early. 💔

Personally I LOVED this era, quality in music was really bipolar but there was released and unreleased bangers. And the clothing for this era is SUPER underrated, (and i mean like before the 2025 stuff yk). Loved vultures, but sometimes I wished Ty$ kept vultures to himself.

So look for a while I’ve been questioning myself a lot lately. For me I’ve not always felt like a male, but sometimes do. Sometimes I’ve felt more feminine, or sometimes like neither of these. I’ve had this happen since last year August. But I haven’t been able to get much help. So I’m curious to hear your peoples experiences with it, so maybe I can find a common thing that’ll help me with this. If you’ve got any questions to help me with this, PLEASE ASK.

Thank you in advance let’s hope for some progress. 🫶

I’m just here to rant bout this problem lately.

For a while as by the title, I’ve felt disconnected from my gender a lot (I’m biological male btw). For what people say I sometimes come off as somewhat feminine than masculine, and sometimes more masculine than feminine. I choose to dress like these sometimes, and sometimes I feel comfortable dressing like these. And sometimes I just feel like neither of these. But then sometimes when I’m questioning all this it just feels stupids to think I’m not male or that if i were to label as something else I’d just be so invalid. I’d be like one of those “creep” you hear about in the news and stuff. I don’t really know what to with all this, I think I just want to know what I am I guess.

WARNING: mentions of horrible mental health (suicidal) and COCSA. Please leave if this type of context isn’t what you can handle, or if you’re giving crappy advice that is meaningless.

So yesterday at school counselling, i finally told them something i haven’t said in a few years. I’m still suicidal. I mentioned this at my old school in 2024 and which they told my parents and teachers without permission, which lead me to never open up again to adults. My parents took me to the hospital then and they told me I was depressed, which I already knew. So I had that, and that was it. Well actually no something did happen, my parents told the whole family. Which was just LOVELY. So I had all the old people giving me the worst advice it’d be better if they just told me to go fuck myself.

But you’re probably wondering, why were you depressed? Basically let me give the run down of my life before the other events. I was never really liked in schools. I was bullied out my first school for being shy, and also drowned infront of teachers without getting any help. Next school was okay, but i stayed within my own circle. Then at this school it got bad. In yr8 (12-13 years old) I was bullied by a lot of school, why? I looked older, and due to that. I would get called a creep, weirdo, paedophile, yea the list goes on. Which lead to a lot of mental problems. And some friends started hating me or not liking me as much. So all that added together isn’t the best for someone.

For the next event; I was sexually assaulted on multiple occasions by a girl slightly older than me. In August 2025 I started dating a girl in my class, me and her had hit it off pretty good. However in December of that year through to late January. She had touched me in places with sexual intent multiple times. I hadn’t consented (nor could I) however I didn’t do anything because I was scared if i refused she would flip the story and say i did something wrong. Or that she’d be upset with me (i was a big people’s pleaser), we hadn’t done anything past that stuff though. As I was tell her to stop which she eventually would after saying multiple times it was enough. But eventually she had made that stuff normalised in the relationship and I just went along with it because I thought it was normal. However I hated it, I would be close to throwing up from how disgusting it was. It was horrific. On February 12th, I broke up with her. I had found out she was using me. Using me to see my baby sister (she was obsessed with babies), and for more stuff that I can’t remember. But mainly using me for my body. After a bit I realised she had SA’d me. So I told some of my friends which it had sorta gotten around. Which is my mistake and i shouldn’t have done that. But she had found out i realised she did that. And to fight back at me, she spread rumours at her school about me (Context: in 2025 we moved from schools to highschool now). So I got a trusted adult (my aunty) to message her and tell her to stop, in which she used that as a case of “harassment”. In which she argues my aunty kept the conversation going messaging her, which is completely false. My aunty sent one message and she sent multiple questions after and my aunty tried to end the conversation multiple times to no avail till much later on. So then she went to my school and told them her fake story. So i got in trouble, they brought me up and told me. If I don’t stop harassing her then I would charged with harassment. The next day one of her friends messaged me, in which they told me to fuck off basically. And that they’ve got friends in the police. And after that, I shut down. I stopped taking about it, as there was no point in fighting. But then my mum went through my phone, which she found out about the situation. And went to the school. So now you’re probably thinking, “oh yea redemptions for OP.” haha nah lol. They listened to my mum and “believed it” aka saying they’d do something but never did. And it ended. She probably never got in trouble from what I’ve heard, and I’ve been stuck with multiple problems after. I never got help for this and it happened over a year ago.

So now that you know the main 2 problems I’ve had. And what happened yesterday. It feels weird that I’m going to be getting the help I need. I don’t really like asking for big things out of people, and I know this has put a bit of stuff on my parents and will cost them a lot. Which is why I never said anything and my parents have been going through a lot since I’ve been like this. With the birth of my sister and multiple dead’s of pets and family members. I never spoke up as my feelings weren’t important at the time and would add to much weight. And like, telling a parent about this stuff is hard. So my councillor told them yesterday (with my permission). My mum let me skip school today and has been checking in with me a lot, but i don’t really know how to tell about all this stuff. I want to tell her the full story bout the SA but idk how to start that conversation. I’m also going to the hospital next Wednesday to possibly get on antidepressants or something.

With all this tell me your thoughts I guess, and what I can do. It’s taken a lot to write this and I’ve felt off today (haven’t even had a shower or tied my hair). So idk if it’d be like this for a while or what.

I mean EVERYTHING.

Official released albums
Official unreleased albums
Unofficial albums
Concerts
Whatever else there is.

I want to make CDs of all Ye projects we can get, DVDS of concerts. For the biggest Ye media collection ever.

this maybe a big project

So at school last period my friend and I were talking then out the blue he asked. “Hey so I know this is a bit personal but, yesterday you said you were questioning if you were gay.” Which did happen so i replied with “Yea I mean it’s been 2 years since I felt any feelings for a girl.”

“So have you had a crush on any boys then”

🫪 (my exact reaction)

“oh who is ittt..??”

OH BUDDY DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU 😭🔫

He said I didn’t have to tell him, which by what I’ve just said. You can probably guess the answers to both of those questions.

I don’t know if I made it obvious but I’m scared to tell him, I’m not really the dating type person. BUT IDK WHAT TO DO.

(also the more detailed reason why I’ve questioned if I’m gay is because. As I said, no crush on girls at all. But I was also touched by a girl and I don’t know if it’s the trauma that’s pushed me away from it.)

Recently I had a friend over for a sleepover, and I’ve known they’re aroace and pangender for a while. And I’m bisexual and confused on my identity. Basically they were saying the F slur A LOT and also the N word (they’re white). Now I may not know the full history of the F slur but this is what I was told about it and who can say it.

The F slur was used against men back in the past towards any men that liked other men. And so just like slurs now, only people who are that minority can say that word to reclaim it.

NOW WAIT, I could be wrong. I don’t know, I’m still doing reasearch. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

But am I wrong for being a bit offended with them saying it a lot? I feel offended but then if they can technically say it then I’ll feel really bad for being offended as that’s wrong to be offended by.

Sorry if i offended anyone, I’m just trying to understand if my friend is in the wrong or am I.

So me and this girl had met online last year in March, we hit it off really good. Like made together best friends. She had a thing for me and we started online dating on June 2nd, and for a whole year she was the best thing in my life. I really did love her, I know people say as a teen your relationships never work and don’t love each other. But she was different, she was everything I ever wanted. Someone like me. But maybe you don’t always want someone like you. Because both of us were extremely mentally hurt. Both of us had a lot of trauma from events, both quite or really suicidal. However we kept each other going, i believe if i didn’t have her to talk to, I would’ve committed suicide by now. But for her, I think she already has. On July 3rd I hadn’t messaged her for a while, as she said she’d be busy that week. I didn’t want to bother her, and it was my last week of school for the term. So I don’t get time to message her till I had gotten a message from her. But it wasn’t her, it was her mother. Asking who I was, I said I was really a good friend of [my gf]. I asked her what’s happened. And she told me sometimes of the worst news ever.

“She's been behaving in ways she knows not to. She will no longer have a smartphone for the foreseeable future. Just doing the civil thing and letting you know.”

And that’s it, no more of my messages sent. I couldn’t even say goodbye, I don’t what to do. It’s been a week since this happened but I haven’t been able to process it till now. I miss her so fucking much, she was a real part of me. If I had maybe messaged her to check up on her, maybe that wouldn’t have happened. I know what happened to her, it’s pretty easy to tell. She tried (or maybe has now) committing suicide. I should’ve tried helped, she helped me. But i couldn’t help her. I’m ashamed of myself and disappointed, I couldn’t even help the person I cared for the most. I’m going to try get contact with her friends maybe for some closure I have no clue. I just wish I could know if she’s getting help, or if she’s even alive. I’m so sorry, I failed the person I loved the most. I don’t know what to do with myself.

A message to everyone who reads this. Please check up on your loved ones, I know everyone says it. But I know you probably don’t do it, however you really should. I didn’t do that, now I’m probably the most sad I’ll ever be. Don’t make my mistake.

This maybe a top tier title.

But to explain everything, late for the past few days I’ve felt confused about my identity. As I’m demiboy sometimes i feel invalid, or sometimes i feel like in other identity. I thought I was maybe gender fluid but i don’t think so now..

I’ve had these arm warmers for a while, and this weird hat. So on the first night of the sleepover, i decided to wear the stuff and look more fem (If yall are wondering they’re pangender & aroace). They thought it was a bit odd at first but got used to me wearing this stuff. I’ve been asking him every now and then if i look more feminine with this and that. So now I’ve got arm warmers, this weird hat, and all my hair out. I feel much more comfortable and a bit more like myself.

Now it’s the second night of the sleepover, we’re on my couch watching SML on YT. Well actually i am, they’re asleep and I’m typing this.

betcha didn’t expect this on your bucket list this year 😝🤞

I’ve noticed at school boys treat me much more different now.

(Context: I’m at a boys ONLY school)

Lately for the past few weeks a few people have been treating me really weirdly. For example: a dude in my class who I was somewhat chill with. For one random week was commenting on my hair. Saying like “you look like a girl with your hair like that”. Or in PE he TRIED commenting on my hair but kept stuttering, now he hasn’t since.

Randomly one day some kid ask me when I’m going down the stairs: “Are you a boy or a girl?” NOW TELL ME WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK 😭🙏

Also had a kid in my class who interrogated me and my friend about our long hair. Asking us why we had long hair, if we wanted to be trans, blah blah blah.

Finally a more of recent event (literally yesterday). At PE I was in the gym with my mates, and some of my other mates in the room next us. Apparently a dude in there out of the blue said: “HES GAY AND TRANS”. take a wild guess who he was talking about..

So now I’m been asking like all my friends if I look trans because I seriously dunno. And if anyone is wondering, NO IM NOT TRANS. I don’t mind being called a girl though. I don’t rlly care what people call me, as i feel like it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t really wanna have to fit under one gender exactly (If this is like smth that means something, someone PLEASE tell me).

BUT SCHOOLS OVER FOR 2 WEEKS SO I DONT GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS.

also i looked in the mirror, now im scared i kinda look like a girl.