u/Hakusprite

After sitting for 30 minutes writing this out I think what I'm looking for is advice on being vulnerable.

I've worked hard to understand social cues and norms, learning to read people, examining social interactions and what not. I'm not on the spectrum, my upbringing demanded it ADHD > masking > imposter syndrome also required it.

Through this, medication and therapy i gained confidence in myself.

But one thing I never learned was how to confidence in my own vulnerabilities and weaknesses. My parents never modeled being vulnerable with each other and rarely with me. Egos were just thrown around, nobody ever made up or admitted wrongs or faults. Things just went unresolved. It was always anger, rage, revenge and regret.

I don't love how this has manifested in me as an adult.

A simple example: Saying "I don't understand" instead of "Ohhhh" *doesn't understand a thing* feels so relieving when I can push my ego aside and open myself up to looking stupid. Instead, i'm more focused on appearing as if I get it, especially if I feel it doesn't matter if I actually do or not.

In more serious matters, I have a hard time admitting I made a mistake that hurt somebody or discerning when I need to stand up for myself and when I don't. It's harder if I don't feel like I actually did anything wrong. It's easier to just disengage entirely and then live in anxiety of my mistake.

If someone feels like I did something that offended them, clearly I did, I don't think I can say I didn't. But I've had that used against me by people who were close to me and it's hurt.

It's tough I guess.

How do I be vulnerable with confidence?

.hack infection is a game, lol. The music, character design, equipment and combat were actually really cool. As a fan of FFXII and Xenoblade, I loved the menuing combat, even if the Skeith and Parasite Dragon fights were just Kites running around throwing potions, resurrects and mage souls while Kite and Gardenia poked them to death lol. I think if I played this as a kid I would have been obsessed with. Super cool game, super cool aesthetics. Plot wise? Eh. Not much happens. Not much is explained. Games weird like that, but intriguing and charming. Not for everyone, but I really liked it.

Genuinely enjoyed a lot of the combat, specially when things were healing, reading, stun locking via debuffs or spells and I had to juggle data breaks, heals, targeting priority enemies and dealing damage.

With that said, it's a bit repetitive and I can feel the burnout. A break is needed before and probably after mutation.

So being entirely different tones and worlds:

Radiata Stories or Steambot Chronicles for my break game? 😁

Middle of the night, partner got up to go to the bathroom, it dropped from the hallway ceiling right in front of her, flew around and landed on the floor. Caught it in a plastic tote and it's currently sitting in our bathtub.

Because we have 2 cats, it was close to my partner and it was biting the oven mitts I was wearing when i grabbed it, it's gotta go for testing and we should probably get some shots.

With that said, it's the civic today (because why wouldn't it be) and health unit is closed. WTF do I do with it in the mean time? I don't want it to die, for humane reasons and testing purposes. Anywhere I can take it in the mean time?

Backstory:

Been with my partner for 7 years. Had one cat for 6. We've had cat 2 for 1 year. I wanted the cat 2. I did not want cat 2. Personal pet related trauma growing up put this out of my comfort zone.

I fought for a long time but I'm a sucker for my partner so I caved. I was a stressed, unhelpful, anxious MESS during their first 2-3 months of introduction. If not more. Cat 1 wasn't happy despite cat 2 being entirely submissive. Took 7 months to not hiss, longer to not always leave when cat 2 was around. Partner did a lot of the introduction by just not being afraid to let it happen. Now? They're not besties but I'm hoping one day they'll learn to play together and cuddle and groom each other. I love them and they are my babies. I think it was good for cat 1 to have cat 2 around.

Main:

So first it was "I wish we could get a third cat..." Now its talks about fostering to do something good.

Again, far and away out of my comfort zone and a huge life style change. I want to be encouraging because they're excited and passionate about it, I don't want to stop them from doing something they could find fulfilling and it's a nice thing to do.

We're in a small, 1 bedroom E shaped apartment with a 7.5ft x 6.5ft office space that can be converted into a temporary cat home. Resident cats currently hang out there but we have other trees and windows they can use. with some creativity we could come up with a door system and close it off.

Initially I wasn't sure this would be enough but people foster out of bathrooms, this could work.

Anyway, my stresses are:

I'm worried about our cats getting sick from something the fosters bring in, through airborne or contact. I would be beyond devastated if anything were to happen to our cats.

I'm worried about it through contact, airborne or lingering if they're exploring the spaces in-between fosters.

I don't think I'd want them interacting at all. The less interaction the better. But, cat 2 grew up in a colony and is social. I know my partner will let them interact if that's what they want. That worries me about fights and injuries and again, getting sick.

I'm worried introducing other cats will stress cat 1 out and cause health issues or possibly mess up the relationship with cat 2. Cats are strangle and fickle animals on their best days.

If there's an escape and something happens...

Drama with the shelters etc.

I want to support my partner. We have talked about it and I mentioned my concerns, I'm well aware I'm a bit neurotic.

I see a therapist. Just looking for some first hand experience 😭

Title. Just want to know if some are tankier, deal more damage or better suited to certain skills and what not.