u/HappyPancakeCloud

Hi! 26F, never dated in my life. I think I have a very specific type of person I’d date in mind and so when I’m on the dating apps, I mostly swipe left because the people don’t match my « criteria »

When I match with someone, it’s rarely ever serious. I will get to the point of locking in a date, and then I make sure they know they’re not getting sex out of me and then I get ghosted.

TLDR; the men I seem to like only want sex.

Am I the problem here 😭

Editing to add a couple more insights:

1. My criteria/type: I like guys who have their shit together, is smart, ambitious, and confident. I love someone who can banter back and forth with me. I like someone who’s more low-key but has a strong presence.

Physically, I definitely have a thing for dark hair, dark eyes, a nice beard, and someone who’s well put together.
2. I come from an upbringing where sex before marriage is very frowned upon and it has totally bled over my dating life. I can't fathom the idea of having sex with someone before marriage.

Hi! 26F, never dated in my life. I think I have a very specific type of person I’d date in mind and so when I’m on the dating apps, I mostly swipe left because the people don’t match my « criteria »

When I match with someone, it’s rarely ever serious. I will get to the point of locking in a date, and then I make sure they know they’re not getting sex out of me and then I get ghosted.

TLDR; the men I seem to like only want sex.

Am I the problem here 😭

Editing to add a couple more insights:

1. ⁠My criteria/type: I like guys who have their shit together, is smart, ambitious, and confident. I love someone who can banter back and forth with me. I like someone who’s more low-key but has a strong presence.Physically, I definitely have a thing for dark hair, dark eyes, a nice beard, and someone who’s well put together.

2. I come from an upbringing where sex before marriage is very frowned upon and it has totally bled over my dating life. I can't fathom the idea of having sex with someone before marriage.

I was sent on a three-day work trip with a coworker that involved two six-hour drives together and long workdays.

During the drives, he constantly talked, sang songs, switched into exaggerated high-pitched voices, and then he would look over at me after doing it as though he was waiting for a reaction. He also regularly brought up stories about his mother, often recreating conversations or quoting her in different voices.

At one point he kept getting my attention by bumping my arm. It happened 5 times during one drive before he noticed I was flinching. He asked, “You don’t like when I do this?” I said, “Yeah, I don’t like it.” He laughed for like 15 solid seconds but, to his credit, he didn’t do it again.

He’s also been talking about retiring ever since I’ve known him. He regularly jokes that I’ll be doing his job next year, introduces me as the person who’ll replace him, and somehow works retirement into conversations almost daily.
(For context: I asked my manager who would replace him if he actually retired because he talks about it so much. My manager laughed and said he’d apparently been saying he was going to retire for years, never actually does, and that if he ever did retire they’d simply hire someone else. So the whole “you’re replacing me” thing seems to be entirely his own narrative.)

After one particularly long workday, I decided to have dinner alone in my hotel room. The next day he said things like, “You probably wanted to get away from me,” and “I bet you’re happy you don’t have to be in the car with me anymore.”

He also knew I’d previously been run over in an accident and still made jokes about getting run over or crashing the car.

After the trip, he started messaging me updates like his Instagram follower count (“Only x amount of followers until retirement”), what projects he’d worked on that day, instructions he’d received from other coworkers about projects I wasn’t involved in, comments about hearing birds outside, animals in his backyard, the weather… (All this during work hours…I understand small talk but this might be a little too much?)

By the end of three days, I felt more mentally exhausted from the nonstop interaction than from the actual work.

Edited to add what I do that seems to work sometimes:

I try to reframe conversations around work as much as I can

He said : « Thanks for the great road trip » I replied: « Thanks for driving – it was a great work trip »

I was sent on a three-day work trip with a coworker that involved two six-hour drives together and long workdays.

During the drives, he constantly talked, sang songs, switched into exaggerated high-pitched voices, and then he would look over at me after doing it as though he was waiting for a reaction. He also regularly brought up stories about his mother, often recreating conversations or quoting her in different voices.

At one point he kept getting my attention by bumping my arm. It happened 5 times during one drive before he noticed I was flinching. He asked, “You don’t like when I do this?” I said, “Yeah, I don’t like it.” He laughed for like 15 solid seconds but, to his credit, he didn’t do it again.

He’s also been talking about retiring ever since I’ve known him. He regularly jokes that I’ll be doing his job next year, introduces me as the person who’ll replace him, and somehow works retirement into conversations almost daily.
(For context: I asked my manager who would replace him if he actually retired because he talks about it so much. My manager laughed and said he’d apparently been saying he was going to retire for years, never actually does, and that if he ever did retire they’d simply hire someone else. So the whole “you’re replacing me” thing seems to be entirely his own narrative.)

After one particularly long workday, I decided to have dinner alone in my hotel room. The next day he said things like, “You probably wanted to get away from me,” and “I bet you’re happy you don’t have to be in the car with me anymore.”

He also knew I’d previously been run over in an accident and still made jokes about getting run over or crashing the car.

After the trip, he started messaging me updates like his Instagram follower count (“Only x amount of followers until retirement”), what projects he’d worked on that day, instructions he’d received from other coworkers about projects I wasn’t involved in, comments about hearing birds outside, animals in his backyard, the weather… (All this during work hours…I understand small talk but this might be a little too much?)

By the end of three days, I felt more mentally exhausted from the nonstop interaction than from the actual work.

I was sent on a three-day work trip with a coworker that involved two six-hour drives together and long workdays.

During the drives, he constantly talked, sang songs, switched into exaggerated high-pitched voices, and then he would look over at me after doing it as though he was waiting for a reaction. He also regularly brought up stories about his mother, often recreating conversations or quoting her in different voices.

At one point he kept getting my attention by bumping my arm. It happened 5 times during one drive before he noticed I was flinching. He asked, “You don’t like when I do this?” I said, “Yeah, I don’t like it.” He laughed for like 15 solid seconds but, to his credit, he didn’t do it again.

He’s also been talking about retiring ever since I’ve known him. He regularly jokes that I’ll be doing his job next year, introduces me as the person who’ll replace him, and somehow works retirement into conversations almost daily.
(For context: I asked my manager who would replace him if he actually retired because he talks about it so much. My manager laughed and said he’d apparently been saying he was going to retire for years, never actually does, and that if he ever did retire they’d simply hire someone else. So the whole “you’re replacing me” thing seems to be entirely his own narrative.)

After one particularly long workday, I decided to have dinner alone in my hotel room. The next day he said things like, “You probably wanted to get away from me,” and “I bet you’re happy you don’t have to be in the car with me anymore.”

He also knew I’d previously been run over in an accident and still made jokes about getting run over or crashing the car.

After the trip, he started messaging me updates like his Instagram follower count (“Only x amount of followers until retirement”), what projects he’d worked on that day, instructions he’d received from other coworkers about projects I wasn’t involved in, comments about hearing birds outside, animals in his backyard, the weather… (All this during work hours…I understand small talk but this might be a little too much?)

By the end of three days, I felt more mentally exhausted from the nonstop interaction than from the actual work.

Hi! I (genz/f) recently started a new job and all of my coworkers are genx and boomers who have worked at the organization for over 15 years.

I try my best to be respectful but we do clash on certain things (ways things used to be done v.s. new ways/processes). I also feel they have a very jaded view of the organization given them having worked in the same position for years and so they complain about some people or some office politics. It’s also very hard to relate to them — we’re at completely different stages of our lives and pardon my language, but I am not interested in hearing about gardening or about partners or retirement plans.

On the less professional side of things, I also have an outside of work relationship with said coworkers. I’ve worked casually at the same organisation with the same coworkers before my recent official permanent position. So we’ve know each other for years and are friendly towards each other.

My manager is awesome, has supported me in meetings and encourages me to bring forward my ideas, always.

With all this being said, I find it hard to work with my colleagues. I love the organization and can see myself growing there, however I don’t know how long I can keep working in the situation I’m in right now.

So here’s where I’d love advice:

1. Should I talk to my manager about this? I’m not complaining about my coworkers but I do want her to know the environment I’m in makes challenging for me to work. I obviously don’t want to get my coworkers fired, out of respect and I don’t want to mess up my future (I do love the organization (it’s a huge national org) and can totally see myself grow there. I love the work we do and feel connected to the mission and values). Any advice?

2. I posted the same in a different thread and someone advised I should learn how to gracefully exit these conversations. Any practical advice?

Hi! Curious to hear people’s thoughts on this.

I (genz/f) recently started a new job and all of my coworkers are genx and boomers who have worked at the organization for over 15 years.

I try my best to be respectful but we do clash on certain things (ways things used to be done v.s. new ways/processes). I also feel they have a very jaded view of the organization given them having worked in the same position for years and so they complain about some people or some office politics. It’s also very hard to relate to them — we’re at completely different stages of our lives and pardon my language, but I am not interested in hearing about gardening or about partners or retirement plans.

On the less professional side of things, I also have a outside of work relationship with said coworkers. I’ve worked casually at the same organisation with the same coworkers before my recent official permanent position. So we’ve know each other for years and are friendly towards each other.

My manager is awesome, has supported me in meetings and encourages me to bring forward my ideas, always.

With all this being said, I find it hard to work with my colleagues. I love the organization and can see myself growing there, however I don’t know how long I can keep working in the situation I’m in right now.

And now, the million dollar question — should I talk to my manager about this? I’m not complaining about my coworkers but I do want her to know the environment I’m in is challenging to work in. I obviously don’t want to get my coworkers fired, out of respect and I don’t want to mess up my future. Any advice?

Hi! Applied for the PR via CEC inland — Submitted my application on April 3 and received my AOR on the same day.

Recently received the biometrics collection letter on June 2. I was able to find an appt for June 3 and it was uploaded on the same day.

Any idea when to expect the next step/what it’s likely going to be?

What are possible implications of moving to QC while still waiting for the PR? Should I try to delay my move to QC? Any advice?

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Review of eligibility
• We are reviewing whether you meet the eligibility requirements.

Review of medical results
• June 3, 2026 You passed the medical exam.

Review of additional documents
• We do not need additional documents.

Interview
• You do not need an interview. We will send you a message if this changes.

Biometrics
• June 3, 2026 Completed.

Background check
• We are processing your background check. We will send you a message if we need more information.

Final decision
• Your application is in progress. We will send you a message once the final decision has been made.