How Did My Anger Go So Far That I Hurt the Person I Love the Most?
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I often end up fighting with my mother. During arguments, she sometimes uses very harsh and abusive words for me. Over time, I’ve started reacting in the same way—using those same words against her, even though I know it’s wrong. Now it has reached a point where I sometimes say these things even when she hasn’t said anything first.
In moments of anger, I lose control over myself. I say things I don’t mean and later regret deeply. Sometimes when she hits me, I hit her back with the same force. Today, something even worse happened. My brother and I were fighting, and my mother was only trying to stop us—she wasn’t even hitting me—but I still raised my hand and slapped her on face . I don’t understand how I did that. It feels like I lose control completely in those moments.
The truth is, my mother loves me a lot. She has always been there for me, and she is a very good mother. I love her too. That’s why, after everything calms down, I feel intense guilt and regret. I keep thinking about how I could say and do such things to my own mother. It makes me feel like I’ve failed as a daughter.i am the worst daughter in world.she is my mother she can beat and abuse me but I can't.
I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want my anger to control me or hurt the people I love the most.