u/HeresJohnny1212

I just feel like my mind is flat. I would say I'm in my own high and comfortable, but that's why it's scary to me.

I just feel as if I've escaped the matrix or something and I'm experiencing life in 2D. It's as if I'm a big chunk of butter and knife can easily cut past me, or as if I'm a balloon and floating. Its giving me the feeling that I can't see the other side of reality.

Like I would be working and I'm just super excited for no reason. I'm looking at people, colleagues and they are soo serious. I'm wondering if I'm missing out on some essence of reality that would make as serious as them.

I feel disconnected and feel like I'm in my own high created world and I'm living in my own mind. I get constant panic attacks that I have to ground myself by looking at photos with descriptions of what the photo is about or what the video about just to get confirmation that I'm normal.

I don't know if it's the seriousness of everything that gets me panicky. Like people may be serious and not that talkative. I get excited and try to talk with everyone.

Also, I think what triggers the majority of my panic attacks is how I see everyone having to find someone and fall in love with a woman. I don't ever feel desperate to go for someone for companionship. Like I wouldn't mind someone, but for the sake of this whole concept of loneliness and going after another human, I don't get that feeling. I begin to ask myself what all the fuss is about. This triggers my derealisation more and I start to ponder if my mind or reality is normal because I'm already high and pretty much content.

I never feel sad, or get jealous or angry at people which again triggers my derealisation. I feel like I'm in my own reality soo I over analyse my feelings. I never get this angry feel. I just laugh on my own at times and wonder am I just high. Is there some part of reality I can't see that would make me serious and less laughing?

I just don't know and can't tell if I'm overthinking or if there is physically wrong / part of my brain or something missing.

Hi there.

So when I was around 7 I used to touch my genitals alot. I used to explore done there alot to the point that I used to get fascinated by women's lingerie in clothing magazines. For some reason, I would rub my genitals on to the lingerie section of the clothing catalogue. This would go on forever. I think it was around the age of 9 when I first ejaculated when doing this. I would ejaculate alot at this point and the pages would get stuck together. I still remember it like it were yesterday. I ejaculated everyday from that point onwards. This type of masturbation would continue until I hit age 11 when I had my first ever computer and was exposed to porn for the first time. At that age, I began the normal hand over genitals masturbation. Soo I did this and ejaculated alot until my 20s.

I have stopped but I feel like I'm the only one who started this early and had excessive addiction to this. I have not done any drugs or anything but I do feel brain rot, derealisation and just feel empty.

Is this normal feeling from years of excessive masturbation, gooning etc?

Can anyone relate?

Hi there.

So when I was around 7 I used to touch my genitals alot. I used to explore done there alot to the point that I used to get fascinated by women's lingerie in clothing magazines. For some reason, I would rub my genitals on to the lingerie section of the clothing catalogue. This would go on forever. I think it was around the age of 9 when I first ejaculated when doing this. I would ejaculate alot at this point and the pages would get stuck together. I still remember it like it were yesterday. I ejaculated everyday from that point onwards. This type of masturbation would continue until I hit age 11 when I had my first ever computer and was exposed to porn for the first time. At that age, I began the normal hand over genitals masturbation. Soo I did this and ejaculated alot until my 20s.

I have stopped but I feel like I'm the only one who started this early and had excessive addiction to this. I have not done any drugs or anything but I do feel brain rot, derealisation and just feel empty.

Is this normal feeling from years of excessive masturbation, gooning etc?

Can anyone relate?

I'm talking about non stop masturbation. I did it heavily as a 7 year old. Used to push my genitals and rub against the magazine lingerie pictures. I did this everyday and around 9 I was able to ejaculate ALOT EVERYDAY. I must have LOST ALOT of semen, and I mean alot, to the point I must have dehydrated my body to the point of brain illness.

I started at 7 all the way to 20s, constant ejaculation. I'm scared I've melted my brain somehow.

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I feel like reality is missing, as if I'm only reacting to it subconsciously, but the layer of reality has been removed and I'm in some foggy 2D world.

It's like I'm gasping for air, I don't know if I was born like this or whether it's due to too much masturbation from young age where I feel my brain has melted.

Everything and everyone looks soo serious in life, but I feel soo high and lightheaded that I don't feel the pressures of life. I don't the longing for a relationship or anything. I'm just in my own zone.

Its lonely scary feeling the way I'm experiencing life, trying to reach out to reality.

This is what my life is. I'm getting severe anxiety. I'm in my own high plus everything looks 2D, I start to question whether I'm living out of touch of reality. I do t even feel hurt or heartbroken with relationships. I feel I'm in my own cloudiness. Its bizarre. I try to convince myself that I'm ok, but this feeling is too strong and real.

I have to ground myself to feel that I'm normal. I never felt the urge for relationships but as I look at relationships from far, I feel that something is wrong with me.

Everything is overwhelming that I cant help it.

I feel as if a big portion of my brain is missing because I'm cut off from reality, everything looks fuzzy, 2D, cartoony.

I go out for walks to do my deep breathing.

Anyone else can relate?

It's a nightmare.

I start to question my surroundings and end up asking myself 'am I meant to fall in love with that girl?' Why don't I have any feelings. Am I experiencing the same reality as others?

I get a panic attack just thinking like this. As if I'm missing on the reality everyone is perceiving but I can't.

If someone has a part of their brain missing, would that mean that a chunk of reality would be missing aswell?

Just curious.

Whatever it that connects us to this world, surely that would be damaged if the brain is missing or damaged leading to an altered perception of life?

I feel soo comfortable in my own zone, I never ever felt the need for a relationship. I don't know what it is, but I felt overwhelmed by this because everywhere I see people massively in love and I'm here thinking what the big deal is.

I'm soo scares I end up crying because I don't have that desperate need that others do finding someone.

Sure if I see an attractive woman I would compliment them but I don't ever feel the need to have someone. It's only if my family nags me to find someone then I would see but I NEVER GOT OUT OF NY WAY to find someone. I just feel soo comfortable being single that I'm getting overwhelmed by this and scared.

I really don't know what I have. I have no interest in any relationship. I feel soo good on my own or with family.

I get severe anxiety and panic attacks because I feel something is wrong with me. It's as if I can't experience life fully like a normal human being. I feel I have some part of my brain or back missing, like my brain is sick and burnt out.

I feel soo high in my own space that its freaking me out soo much and questioning whether I'm in another dimension or not.

I think I was born with this.

I don't have any interest in marriage or anything. I'm just soo comfortable. I'm scared.