u/Hot_Medium4498

I'm 26, and on paper I have a really good life. That's actually what scares me.

I work remotely full-time and have been doing it for a few years. My job gives me an insane amount of freedom. I can work from home, go to the gym during the day, structure my schedule how I want, etc. I genuinely don't think I'll always have a job this good.

I also have a loving girlfriend who's an amazing person and genuinely cares about me.

But instead of appreciating any of this, I feel like I'm slowly destroying it.

I've been slacking at work more and more. I procrastinate on basic tasks and sometimes just don't want to do anything. I've become distant from my girlfriend and don't talk to her nearly as much as I should. I've gained around 80 pounds. I spend way too much time watching porn and chasing cheap dopamine. I'm balding, I've stopped taking care of myself the way I used to, and I barely recognize the person I've become.

The weirdest part is that I know how lucky I am. I can actually see myself fucking everything up while I'm doing it, but that still isn't enough to make me change.

I don't know if this is depression, laziness, complacency, some kind of addiction, or what. I'm not trying to diagnose myself.

I'm genuinely scared that one day I'll lose the job, lose the girl, completely let my health go, and look back thinking, "You had everything you needed to build a great life. Why the hell did you throw it away?"

For anyone who's been in a similar place: how did you pull yourself out of it before you actually lost the good things in your life?

Coming from tennis & pb, most padel matches I've watched and clips online, usually are majority slices ( like 80% ), another 15% for lobs and the rest smashes, is that the case or am i super misinformed?

I've noticed a pattern that I'd like to change.

When I make a new friend, especially someone I have a lot in common with (like a tennis partner or someone I game with), I get excited and sometimes become too available. I'll reply almost immediately, almost always say yes if they want to hang out, and I think I unintentionally put too much importance on a new friendship.

Over time, I feel like this changes the dynamic. I don't know if people pick up on it, but I worry I come across as needy or like I'm afraid of losing the friendship.

I'm not looking to play games by waiting hours to reply or pretending I'm busy. I just want to learn how people naturally maintain healthy friendships without becoming overly invested too quickly.

For those who have gotten better at this:

• How do you stay interested in a new friendship without making it your main focus?
• How do you set healthy boundaries for yourself?
• Are there habits or mindset changes that helped you become more secure and less attached?

I'm looking for practical advice from people who've worked through this themselves.

I'm 26M, and over the last few years I've started noticing a pattern that I can't ignore anymore.

Whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, things usually start off well. I'll meet someone I genuinely enjoy spending time with, and I get excited because I don't have a huge circle of close people.

But somewhere along the way, I seem to ruin it.

I don't think I intentionally do anything hurtful, but I have a feeling I become too attached. I make myself too available, reply almost immediately, say yes to everything, and I think people can sense that I'm afraid of losing them. At the same time, there are moments where I act like I don't care enough or say something without thinking, so I somehow swing between caring too much and not showing it in a healthy way.

This has happened enough times that I know I'm the common denominator. I'm not looking to blame other people, I genuinely want to understand what I need to change.

I don't want to start playing games by waiting hours to text back or pretending to be busy. I just want to become someone who has healthy boundaries, doesn't rely so much on other people's approval, and can build relationships that actually last.

For those who used to struggle with this:

• What behaviors did you have that you didn't realize were pushing people away?
• How did you become more secure and less afraid of losing people?
• Were there any books, habits, or mindset changes that genuinely helped?

I'm open to honest feedback, even if it's something I might not want to hear.

TL;DR: I keep noticing the same pattern where friendships and romantic relationships start well but eventually fall apart. I think I become too attached, too available, and too afraid of losing people. I'm looking for advice on how to become more secure, set healthier boundaries, and build relationships that actually last.

very confusing to work on this thing, any tips on how to check the level? I wanna drain the old fluid and fill it up with the new one

very confusing to work on this thing, any tips on how to check the level? I wanna drain the old fluid and fill it up with the new one