Puno na ako sa guilt, pa-advice please…
Problem/Goal: I left my disabled 89 year old grandma alone.
Context: I’m a 21 year old only child. My parents basically neglected me and left me with my grandmother when I was 14. Since then, I’ve been the one taking care of her while trying to finish school and build a life for myself.
The problem is that my grandmother has always been very controlling, critical, and manipulative. I’ve seen posts here about people cutting off toxic parents, and honestly, a lot of those stories remind me of my situation.
One example is when I introduced my boyfriend to her. Instead of being welcoming, she mocked him for being a street vendor. I was so embarrassed because I know how hardworking he is. He works honestly and does his best every day.
I do online selling and affiliate marketing and earn around ₱30,000 to ₱35,000 a month. I also pay the household bills. I never had a problem helping with her maintenance medicines, but she constantly demands more. She would interrupt my live selling sessions and tell me to cook and serve food whenever her friends came over to gamble at the house. She would even call my work "walang kwenta" and say it was useless.
This has been going on for years.
The final straw happened when my boyfriend and I cooked some meat from the fridge. I was the one who bought all the groceries, but she got angry and claimed everything in the fridge belonged to her and that we had no right to cook it.
That was when I finally snapped.
For context, she cannot really walk without assistance and uses a cane. I have been helping her with almost everything since I was 16. For the last seven years, I have felt like all she does is control me, criticize me, and treat me like an investment rather than a grandchild.
I am still in college and only have one year left before graduation. I have worked hard to support myself and continue my education. The truth is that I do not need her financially or practically. The only reason I stayed for so long was because I cared about her and knew she only had me.
Two weeks ago, after another argument, I told her I was tired of everything and left. We have not spoken since. She has not called, and I have not reached out either.
Huge part of me feels guilty because she is 89 years old and needs help. But another part of me feels like I have spent years sacrificing my own peace and happiness.