I genuinely would like closure so I can move on and I would really appreciate if you would be big enough to do that. Please can you do the decent thing. I don’t want to do something else to hurt you. I just want to be able to let go with peace. I promise you won’t hear from me again you have my word. I just don’t want to be haunted by this anymore.
Hey I know we can’t communicate or talk again, but is there anyway you might be able to forgive me?
I really am trying to move on :)
AITA ? friend of mine was engaged to someone that she later found out was a convicted pedophile. He violated a five-year-old child and served 12 years in prison about 15 years ago. She found out through a mutual friend because this person changed his name and did not come clean with the information. They had a spat but then made up and are back together. I had a lot of strong feelings about the topic due to personal experience, and I am thoroughly disgusted. My friend feels he has paid his debt to society and I’m being ridiculous. (She herself is the mother of a child). I really feel that by fully supporting him she is also supporting child exploitation which I am not OK with. AITA for wanting to cut this friend off?
Opinions ?
Could you keep forgiving, a friend who always wishes you dead … Then comes back later and blames it on their mental illness?
I’m trying to make sense of a friendship that’s been very hard for me to move on from.
Over the past few years, this person has come back into my life more times than I can count. The pattern has always been the same: they reappear, we reconnect briefly and intensely and then some drama happens, usually involving a third party, and then I’m back to no contact and cut off. There’s no predictability to it, which has made it difficult for me to emotionally settle or fully grieve.
Even though I know the friendship is not stable or consistent, I notice that when I’m struggling or feeling lonely, my mind tends to default back to missing them or wanting contact again. It feels like a conditioned response at this point like my brain reaches for the familiarity of the connection even though I know it isn’t reliable or sustaining.
It’s not really about not being able to make new connections, but more that real friendships take time and consistency to build, while this one has been this repeated cycle over a long period of time.
Has anyone experienced something like this?
I feel horrible that I hurt you,im so sorry
, I honestly believed I would never hear from you again. You had me blocked until recently, and during that time he encouraged me to cry to him (in exchange for …) I was just so fucked up at that point. looking for somewhere to put the pain… And I know you know what this feels like
. I just had you on such a pedestal and could never really split you black either . And I know that was part of the problem always that you were my FP and I wasn’t yours ever just like some online random that you dropped it on from time to time I get it. It’s awkward. That’s pretty much why I tried to stay away .
I think even without this, though you were still going to go you always do .I don’t expect to ever talk to you again, but I do hope you can at least silently accept my apology
I really cared about you a lot and I’m sorry I fucked up here. I’m doing my best to try to take responsibility rather than lie or run
I’m sorry that you got hurt. hurting you or revenge was not my intention, at all
He completely manipulated and took advantage of the situation. He knew you didn’t want to talk to me and he used that as leverage so I would talk to him. It’s sick. He took advantage of us both. He told me you hated me And all these other awful things until I was mixing pills and alcohol and then he would say, but I’m your friend I care about you… She hates you but I’m here and then I would sit there and cry and he Would comfort me while he repeated all of those horrible things, and then he would ask for things like sex, here’s my dick, marry me, come visit me, have children with me do you promise you promise she hates you by the way …
Most of the time I just sat there and cried and babbled about you, and he just went on and on about some imaginary future. I tried to block him at one point after a few days. This went on for over a week. He never stopped talking to me from that first time when you guys were fighting and he reached out and he was jealous… He’s continued to talk to me all that time… Just and he was relentless she hates you. She hates you. She wishes you dead Ann she hates you and he said only he could fix it and he would fix it, but if I blocked him, he would make sure you never talk to me again and then he would ask Again for those things that he wanted and pressure me to talk about how you and I would have sex lovely stuff …
And then she hates you. She hates you, but I’m your friend. I’m here. She hates you. Come marry me. She hates you. It was awful. He said that we all had to be friends together, or nobody could be friends at all. And we all needed to sit and talk And then he said it was all my fault what happened because you hated him because he stood up for me and that now you guys had broken up and we’re done and he was alone and would kill himself and The blood would be on my hands… And I was already in such a fucked up mental state so I kept talking to him and he said you were long gone anyway. That he was done with you and that you were done with me, but he had tried, but he said don’t worry she hates you but you have me . And he said how happy he was to have me all to himself That’s what he said as I just sat there and cried again. I didn’t give two shits about him. I don’t even know him, but I was so devastated and already alone and struggling and you were gone and I wanted to kill myself. That’s how bad this affects me.
On top of like all the other stressors that I’m dealing with and I did things I shouldn’t have, but you were gone. I didn’t think I would ever hear from you again cos I just kept getting told she hates you. She hates you. She only wants to know when you die . It was literally abuse interspersed with manipulation Donna for his own gain. He didn’t even care if you killed yourself that night I’m the one that started screaming and cut him off. All he cared about was getting me to himself
And I shouldn’t have talked to him or even being drunk or mixing pills and alcohol is no excuse for the things I said, and I’m sorry that I hurt you and it wasn’t to get revenge or cause you pain And I feel so horrible . But it’s like you were gone again I was alone and there was just no one else… Probably the same reason you reach out to me sometimes
And this wasn’t the only reason, but I’ve been carrying the weight Other stuff too, and I can’t tell people or I won’t have friends so he was like the only person Safe person to cry to, but he wasn’t a safe person. He was just mean.
But doesn’t excuse what happened though and I’m not asking for forgiveness. I feel awful.
I still miss you sometimes, but I’ve started to realize that what I miss may not even be you. I think I miss the idea of having a close friend, someone I could talk to regularly and count on. I miss what I hoped our friendship could be. The reality was often very different, and that’s been a difficult thing to accept.
Just because you miss someone from time to time, or even unblock them, doesn’t mean you actually want the relationship back. Sometimes it just means you’re human. You can miss a person, a memory, or what you hoped things would be, while still knowing reality that you weren’t valued in the same way. It’s grief, not that I can’t let go. And I’m tired of always having to let go. So the fact that someone kept coming back over and over, meant maybe to me, somebody might want to stay… And that wasn’t the case at all.
I just want to die.
And I didn’t deserve this. All I wanted was to like just be on Facebook for God sakes. I didn’t even ask you to call or talk to me or be my friend.
Thank you for everything .
Im sad we could never meet. I really loved you. But I accept, finally, you never felt the same .
I’m not interested in keeping in touch. That’s not why I reached out. It just seemed like the human thing to do.
Truthfully, we were never friends, nor have you treated me like a real person either . Most of the time, I felt like someone you’d randomly pop in on when you needed attention because you knew I’d give it to you. Honestly, even using your name and the word “friend” in the same sentence feels oxymoronic. You were more of a bully than anything else.
I do wish you peace. I also hope you heal from whatever makes your heart so petulant and angry you stab people who try to care.
Btw nice name change ;)
I love you and miss you.
Hope you’re doing well .
Please be well.
🫂
I’m glad I still have a safe place to write to you here. How have things been going? Honestly, they could be better. I guess they could also be worse, but they really could be better. Still, I’m here, and I’m alive.
I’m glad you got my card. It just felt like the human thing to do. I was truly sorry to hear about his passing that genuinely made me cry .
I miss you. I miss hearing from you. I don’t really know why, to be honest, because I know you never truly liked me that way or wanted anything real between us. Maybe it was just an escape, like so many things are. For a little while, the idea of going somewhere, doing something, hearing from someone, getting attention it all took the pain away a bit. It felt comforting. Like medicine. and I found someone else for a little while. But like all men, he turned up to be a piece of shit. lol , there’s a surprise.
Anyway I hope someday I won’t feel the need to write here anymore. I hope someday I won’t miss you either. I won’t need to. But for now, here we are.
Blah .
I’m sorry your father went to be with the Lord . Wishing peace and comfort to you and your family.
I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through with your mum. I know how deeply that kind of pain cuts, and it honestly makes me emotional because I understand what it feels like to want love, safety, and care from a parent so badly. I know that feeling all too well.
I love you, and I miss you very much. I hope you’re taking care of yourself eating enough, drinking water, and being gentle with yourself where you can.
Please know that no matter the distance or silence, I still care. I love you so much. That’s so unconditional. I don’t think it’ll ever go away.
I hope you got that and are doing okay. I love you, I really do.