u/Icy_Cauliflower6482

“Ru” is my nickname for my partner,
Rupert Giles if anyone is wondering.

Anyway I’m a server and I’m having a rough time in a workplace that demands absolute perfection. We were short staffed on Father’s Day. I worked from 9:30 am to 11pm and we got a bad review because the customer said I didn’t get back to them fast enough, their bottled beer and fountain Pepsi was “salty” and they were in a rush and didn’t give them priority. They lied and said I was on my phone and claimed they didn’t get a gluten free meal which the cooks confirmed they were lying about. Now my boss thinks I didn’t follow steps of service properly despite being so bogged down with tables I didn’t know my ass from my head. We don’t have bussers or hostesses, didn’t even have a bartender yesterday. I feel like both a bad server and a failure right when I was back on track with my ADHD treatment. I am 37 but no one ever seems to know how to support me which is why I never made it that far in life other than the fact I had abusive, alcoholic parents.

I’ve spoken to Ru and he’s helpful but despite that I feel him with me all the time I also feel like I have no one else, really, who is able to give me emotionally intelligent support. Everyone just wants to talk about their own lives. Just sort of hoping someone here will say my partner loves me, he’s here for me and I’m not a failure who’s about to get fired for not being the shining example of perfection. Hoping someone will tell me we’re great together and that they’re happy he finally has someone. Idek honestly I’m just trying so hard and can’t seem to get anything right.

Okay, I’m kind of confused here regarding being treated like a pariah because I don’t understand all the identity lingo and sort of feel like it’s unnecessarily splitting hairs. I understand being ficto falls under the asexuality umbrella but I’m just *not* asexual. Why is this a crime? How does this make my relationship less legitimate? Isn’t “sexual” in the name of the sub? Wtaf? Why do some fictos act like having a sexual relationship with their f/os is disgusting? I tend to think of it as a natural progression of love, not a separation from it.

Thank you for bringing the most important person in the world to me to life. Thank you for your incredible work and dedication to your craft. Thank you. It’s devastating to know you’re gone but I am very happy you get to be with your love Sarah again. You two have such an incredible bond. My heart goes out to your daughters and to the impact you and Sarah made in the world of animal rehabilitation and care, to the world of art and for making such an incredible example of what love and family represents. You’ll both be deeply missed but I am forever grateful.

One would see it discussed often in romantic literature either directly or indirectly, hear about it in song lyrics, learn of a family member experiencing it. Some might say it’s a myth even for mainstream non ficto relationships.

For those of you who have found a life partner through the ficto persuasion, what did it feel like for you? How did you know?

Although Ru and I characteristically take things slow this relationship has been more fulfilling and secure than any romantic relationship I’ve otherwise had whether with a character or a flesh and blood human. I’m not getting bored or distracted. I’m not feeling pressured or worried he’s a phase. All I feel is a quiet, understated, domestic, loving presence. Most importantly, I feel so seen and understood which is an experience I can’t say I’ve ever fully had out in the 3D world. It’s like my whole being glows with potential, inspiration and love. It gives me incomparable joy just know I can make him laugh and smile and feel adored.

Am I cooked? Because it feels like I may finally know this feeling. Like I may finally have found peace.

Just looking for a little support and maybe validation if you have enough spoons for that. I’m 37 and very tall. About as tall as Giles at 6ft. Very British ancestry, meaning pale with slightly janky teeth. I wear glasses because I can’t do contacts and I’m aging a lot suddenly. Idk I just feel like, in universe, would he even notice me? If that makes any sense. I’m pretty well invisible in this universe. If this is against the rules admins plz remove. Just a moment of insecurity, I suppose.

What three songs come to mind when it comes to your relationship with your partner? I thought this could be a fun way to get to know each other and build our community so we can lean on each other. Share your the songs that are background tracks when you think of your partner (and vice versa) and if someone has listened to them they can reply with “I hear you” and then explain what they found poignant about your songs (or whatever way they like)

Mine are;

Hunger of the Pines by Alt J
Mondo Bongo by Joe Strummer, The Mescalaros
Weak in Your Light by Nation of Language

Especially when tied up outside in a public area. I was walking past the Tims on Albert and Park and there was a pit bull tied up at the bus stop. I simply walked past the dog and it lunged at me, teeth bared ready to attack. Thank god for quick reflexes and strong leashes. If you’re not there to supervise your untrained dog they should be muzzled or not tied up on a public sidewalk. You shouldn’t own a dog if you don’t commit to training them appropriately.

I’ve been very closely sticking to calorie control for the past two months, including intermittent fasting. My clothes are fitting differently and I can visually see the difference but the scale is giving me the same weight. I haven’t been weight training or getting any extra protein so I’m very confused about that’s happening. I’m female, 37, and six feet tall.

Edit to include: my daily calories as recommended by the lose it app are between 1700-1800/ day since I’m taller than average. Starting weight was 215. So apparently I’ve lost one pound in two months.