u/ImmigrantPigeon

Been having problems with depth perception and such. Things looking too big and others looking too small, feeling myself shrink to the size of a doll, the table looking a mile long, you get the idea. Episodes all last minimum an hour each time. I was absolutely shitting myself because I knew what I saw wasn’t real while actively seeing it, but didn’t want to contact my gp. Called Samaritans because I needed to talk to someone I didn’t know about the anxiety it gave me. It’s fine if a stranger on the phone thinks I’m off my rocker. The lovely woman said if it was distressing me so much I should contact my gp to get it checked out. Ended up sending a request in after the call on Monday evening.

Wake up just after 9am Tuesday morning because I’m 20 and neither of my jobs had me in. Gp is calling me. I tell him I’m not crazy and I’ve lived my life completely raw, no (non prescription) drugs. Like, not even caffeine. When I’m feeling wild I have a lemonade or orange juice instead of water. He gives me a referral to an urgent eye health check. I book with Specsavers because they picked up the phone. Same day 1155. I ask how much it’ll be because the gp said it would be free and I wanted to be mentally prepared if not. They say it’ll cost money, but don’t know how much. Fuck.

Get to the high street 1 hour early because I’m chronically too early. Sit on a bench near the Specsavers and the pigeons crowding by their entrance suddenly become fucking massive so I decide to seek shelter. I am the size of an ant but manage to safely sneak past the evolved dinosaurs. Tell the lovely Specsavers receptionist I absolutely know I’m rudely early (40 minutes!) but don’t expect to be seen early, I just want to sit inside.

Get called in 1130! There’s more than an hour of various tests; I cry a bit because I know what I’m seeing isn’t real but nothing is the right size and I feel like I’m going crazy. It’s also a little embarrassing because I work in a business on the high street and don’t want the people I could potentially make drunk to know I see shit. The very kind ex receptionist/current ophthalmologist says my eyes are healthy but asks me “have you heard of Alice in wonderland syndrome?” and says he’ll refer me to a neuro-ophthalmologist because it’s a brain problem. Yay! Is there anything I can do to stop the episodes? No? Brilliant!

Get one last set of eye pictures done for them to send with the referral, once again absolutely shitting myself at this point because the young man doing it is the size of the BFG to me and I’m expecting to owe money I don’t have at all. He says I can go, I ask how much it is, and double he checks his paper and says it’s free. I leave and thank the NHS gods but can’t see because the remaining eye drops I didn’t cry out decided to seek revenge.

Get home safe, light over my bed blurry but looking fucking massive. I now feel safe to leave the house and talk to people. Only downside is I work in radiology admin so if the brain eye doc wants an mri my coworkers will see why. I am easy to Google so they’ll know it’s me. My dignity should be safe though because my coworkers are nice

While waiting for a bus at a bus garage I saw a man running up towards busses going into the garage to give the drivers water. Got on my bus and a woman with shopping, a woman on the bus with a pram, + the bus driver himself helped an old woman with a walker get on.

I absolutely love seeing random people help others out, it really warms my heart in a world with so many scary things happening

Bonus tidbit: When I go into London (I’m in zone 6) I like to show random confused tourists around. Yesterday I helped a German tourist pick food at a restaurant I like go to and shared my food with him. A couple months ago I showed an Indian tourist around as well, we went into the national gallery and he had me take pictures of him standing next to every painting with an Indian person in it! Definitely recommend it if you’re ever bored and like to talk to random people - just look for people that look completely lost and confused and you’re set

I work late often and take the bus home if I can or walk if there are no more busses. Men my dad’s age (58) have literally squeezed through the closing bus doors to follow me and I’m 20 but often get told I look 14-16. When I’m walking home and feeling unsafe I can share my location on WhatsApp so the one that lives on my road can come out. I’ll also call them so they can hear what’s happening live. Oh my days they’re so lovely to me 😭 truly my big brothers

They called it “safety in numbers” and the dad of the group pinned a message saying not to send messages except live location or that they’re calling so only one person calls for help. There are 8 men in the friend group and most/all of us are night owls so they’ll always be up for me

Sorta off topic but they call me “mama goose” even though I’m the youngest in the group. I’m so lucky to have these men as my girls 💅

And I’m a woman 😭

Tbh I feel validated because I’ve had that private thought BUT I feel like I look way more like Rob Irwin. The guy moved to the UK from Egypt not super long ago though so he might not know who Rob is

It’s ok though because I still feel cute! He wouldn’t have randomly approached me if I wasn’t a cutie patootie. Or maybe he’s a Haaland superfan and can’t get his attention so I’m the next best thing 💅

I woke up after surgery (septoplasty + turbinate reduction) some time around this time yesterday. I was in pain after it but at the moment I’m not except in my teeth, but I suspect that that’s because they damaged my teeth with the air tube. My 4 top front teeth have been moved around. I will no longer be able to eat a sandwich or spaghetti. Please pray for me. At least I have codeine if the pain gets bad

Also edit to add that I was told I’d feel super congested after it that’s to the packing but I don’t. I suspect that that is because I had an extra bone covering the back of my nose though

You can look it up, it’s called Ottawa Valley English. It gets compared to an Irish accent a lot. I live in England right now but like to be easily understood so I choose to speak in a more American accent when I’m there. I’m of the younger generation but rural so about half of my high school graduating class (2024) speak in the accent

Many places online say that the accent is only on the Ontario side of the border but rural Anglophone people in the Pontiac RCM (English speaking part of Quebec, where my maternal family is originally from) largely speak the same way I do. My father is British English.

I have no practically* sense of smell or taste, and I never have. It’s most likely caused by structural issues (born to nose breath, forced to mouth breathe) so I’m getting surgery that will hopefully fix that in less than a month.

When people are just out and about are they smelling things all the time? Like the grass and body odour and whatever buildings smell like? Can you smell people’s breath when you talk to them? How do you guys cope with it? Are there any things I should try smelling after surgery, assuming I can smell? Do the sun and water have a smell?

*practically as in I’ll rarely get a whiff of a smell, and I can taste a little in the very back of my mouth sometimes

I put a bra on, look in the mirror, and suddenly I feel like I’m ready to go out into the mines to look for coal. I have to hoist them into the bra and adjust it and BAM! I go from feeling like I’m just a girl getting ready to go to work to being a 200cm man that just got back from doing roids and working out at the gym. It’s so annoying and sucks.

I’m working on my style and trying to dress more feminine. I tried on a dress the other day, a nice slip type one, and my boobs made me feel so masculine that I wanted to cry. I’ve been growing out my hair and that’s been really helping me feel in my feminine but it’s so annoying that my boobs make me feel so manly, I just want to feel feminine. I don’t think my broad shoulders help at all either. I’m flying back to the country I grew up in in a week and still have no clothes for my younger brother’s high school grad because everything I saw either wasn’t in my size or my boobs made me feel like I was growing a full beard and moustache ): idk what I’m gonna do when it’s time for the grad. I generally have really good self esteem but it’s just my boobs that seem to be dragging me down occasionally because they can make me feel so manly

I’m a bowling alley bartender in the UK and I will say or do literally whatever I feel like with customers. I’d say I’m pretty good at talking to people, even if they’re drunk as hell I can get through to them. Today I walked past some college guys who were eating a candy I liked so I put my hand out and they gave me some candy despite me not knowing them. I literally just work there and talk to people when I can.

Today some girls were eating food from an array of restaurants in the diner and hiding it using one of our trifold menus so I went up to them, asked why the Great Wall of China was in London, and asked them to take their food elsewhere. And they did.

When I’m in a good mood and not busy I hand out stickers to people that get strikes. The adults are more into it than the kids are and compete to see who can get the most stickers. People let me put stickers on them and I have a lot of fun with my placement; only private areas are safe. If you’re a man and get two strikes you get one on each boob. If you’re bald it goes on your head. The sky is the limit as far as I’m concerned (obviously with consent from people)

I also accidentally say things that sound inappropriate. The other day I was showing a new server how the balls should be rearranged at the end of the night and told her “when those guys are done bowling take their balls” verbatim and the guys just looked at us.

Sometimes people will bowl in their bare feet and I go up to them and ask why they have those out and tell them nobody wants to see them, which always makes them laugh and put their shoes on.

I think I do so well at talking to people because I’m Canadian (people love that) and I’m quick with my words. I’m always marvelling at how good I am with people, as a year and a half ago I couldn’t even look at people but now I just say and do whatever I want and they love me for it. I’m really proud of how far I’ve come, and my coworkers are always shocked when I tell them I’m an introvert.

I think that me saying the first thing that comes to my mind just disarms people no matter what mood they’re in, and I treat everyone like we’ve been friends for years. Everyone that comes in is my friend and I’m happy to speak to my friends! I’ve never had any complaints about what I’ve said and done so I’m gonna continue to do this for as long as I can. I don’t have much but I’m happy and I’m kind of sad I can’t live like this forever but I’m appreciative of the life I’m living every day

I like to pick litter and find protests really satisfying to clean up after because they often produce a lot of trash for me. I just follow along with bin bags (no stick yet, I’m saving up for one though!) and pick up trash as they move along. I follow a newsletter from Marble Arch but I’d like to find out about any demonstrations that happen throughout London (not just marble arch) so I can plan litter picking days ahead and book time off work as needed as due to the nature of my job I often work weekends. I can’t seem to find a single comprehensive source or really many sources online at all. I take pride in keeping our city clean, I’m proud to call it home and hate seeing it littered. I’m actually sad I’m missing Saturday’s double protest, I have work 845-1700 and an event I can’t miss after but if I had known earlier I would have moved things around ):

I’m also open to suggestions for places that need to be picked. I can’t go on private land without permission from the owner because that would constitute theft but I’m happy to go do massive cleans where it’s needed on public land!