u/Impressive_Degree_89

It feels like my attention has become permanently stuck on myself. I’m constantly aware of myself being aware.
It’s not a specific thought, image, or body sensation. It’s like I’m observing myself experiencing everything I do. It’s there when I’m watching TV, talking to people, eating, or walking.
It’s almost like a constant background state where I’m monitoring my own awareness and internal experience. I don’t feel like I’m deliberately doing it—it just happens automatically.
The more I notice it, the more trapped I feel inside my own mind. It feels like I can never become absorbed in life because I’m always aware of myself having the experience.
It isn’t that I’m afraid something bad will happen. It’s that the state itself feels wrong, intrusive, and inescapable. My mind keeps treating it like a problem that has to be solved before I can fully engage with life again.
I know this description sounds unusual, but it’s the best way I can explain what I’m experiencing.

Has anyone out there ever experienced this? It’s absolutely ruining my life. I’ve tried to just let it be there but it doesn’t go away. It’s present every waking second of every day. I also cannot do any ERP because there are no compulsions. I’m simply just aware of my awareness.

It feels like my attention has become permanently stuck on myself. I’m constantly aware of myself being aware.
It’s not a specific thought, image, or body sensation. It’s like I’m observing myself experiencing everything I do. It’s there when I’m watching TV, talking to people, eating, or walking.
It’s almost like a constant background state where I’m monitoring my own awareness and internal experience. I don’t feel like I’m deliberately doing it—it just happens automatically.
The more I notice it, the more trapped I feel inside my own mind. It feels like I can never become absorbed in life because I’m always aware of myself having the experience.
It isn’t that I’m afraid something bad will happen. It’s that the state itself feels wrong, intrusive, and inescapable. My mind keeps treating it like a problem that has to be solved before I can fully engage with life again.
I know this description sounds unusual, but it’s the best way I can explain what I’m experiencing.

Has anyone out there ever experienced this? It’s absolutely ruining my life. I’ve tried to just let it be there but it doesn’t go away. It’s present every waking second of every day. I also cannot do any ERP because there are no compulsions. I’m simply just aware of my awareness.

It feels like my attention has become permanently stuck on myself. I’m constantly aware of myself being aware.
It’s not a specific thought, image, or body sensation. It’s like I’m observing myself experiencing everything I do. It’s there when I’m watching TV, talking to people, eating, or walking.
It’s almost like a constant background state where I’m monitoring my own awareness and internal experience. I don’t feel like I’m deliberately doing it—it just happens automatically.
The more I notice it, the more trapped I feel inside my own mind. It feels like I can never become absorbed in life because I’m always aware of myself having the experience.
It isn’t that I’m afraid something bad will happen. It’s that the state itself feels wrong, intrusive, and inescapable. My mind keeps treating it like a problem that has to be solved before I can fully engage with life again.
I know this description sounds unusual, but it’s the best way I can explain what I’m experiencing.

Has anyone out there ever experienced this? It’s absolutely ruining my life. I’ve tried to just let it be there but it doesn’t go away. It’s present every waking second of every day. I also cannot do any ERP because there are no compulsions. I’m simply just aware of my awareness.

Has anyone had a small improvement from pramipexole but not enough to say it’s actually made a meaningful difference. I’ve been increasing the dose by .25mg every 3 days. I am currently at 1.75mg and will continue increasing to 2.5mg. Still depressed and have no motivation but am no longer suicidal. Thanks

I have tried fkn everything. Literally nothing has worked. I’m 31. Every day has been torture for years and I don’t want to have to keep experiencing this pain. Why will no treatment, medication or therapy work for me. Why am I so fucking broken…

I just can’t take the pain anymore. I’ve tried 20 meds, ketamine, ECT. Nothing has worked and I’m ready to call it quits. How does anyone else in this situation keep going?

Hi.

Wondering if anyone has had success specifically with a clinic from the MAGNUS verified list of providers - https://www.magnusmedical.com/find-a-provider/

Differences with regular rTMS:

- 10 sessions per day for 5 days
- fMRI-guided individualized targeting
- Accelerated intermittent theta-burst stimulation (iTBS)
- ~80,000–100,000+ pulses
- Left prefrontal cortex positioning only

As the question states, I have had no success with anything. I've tried every single type of medication and done ECT. I feel like this is my last hope.

I have severe Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder. My anhedonia is off the charts I literally can't feel anything anymore and am on the verge of quitting.

The treatment is extremely expensive and I'll be paying out of pocket but willing to do it if there are people out there who have had success. I haven't been able to find many real-world anecdotes and the trials had a very small, specifically selected sample size.

Really just want to know if there is any hope for me with this?

Thanks

Hi.

Wondering if anyone has had success specifically with a clinic from the MAGNUS verified list of providers - https://www.magnusmedical.com/find-a-provider/

Differences with regular rTMS:

- 10 sessions per day for 5 days
- fMRI-guided individualized targeting
- Accelerated intermittent theta-burst stimulation (iTBS)
- ~80,000–100,000+ pulses
- Left prefrontal cortex positioning only

As the question states, I have had no success with anything. I've tried every single type of medication and done ECT. I feel like this is my last hope.

I have severe Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder. My anhedonia is off the charts I literally can't feel anything anymore and am on the verge of quitting.

The treatment is extremely expensive and I'll be paying out of pocket but willing to do it if there are people out there who have had success. I haven't been able to find many real-world anecdotes and the trials had a very small, specifically selected sample size.

Really just want to know if there is any hope for me with this?

Thanks

Hi.

Wondering if anyone has had success specifically with a clinic from the MAGNUS verified list of providers - https://www.magnusmedical.com/find-a-provider/

Differences with regular rTMS:

- 10 sessions per day for 5 days
- fMRI-guided individualized targeting
- Accelerated intermittent theta-burst stimulation (iTBS)
- ~80,000–100,000+ pulses
- Left prefrontal cortex positioning only

As the question states, I have had no success with anything. I've tried every single type of medication and done ECT. I feel like this is my last hope.

I have severe Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder. My anhedonia is off the charts I literally can't feel anything anymore and am on the verge of quitting.

The treatment is extremely expensive and I'll be paying out of pocket but willing to do it if there are people out there who have had success. I haven't been able to find many real-world anecdotes and the trials had a very small, specifically selected sample size.

Really just want to know if there is any hope for me with this?

Thanks