u/InnerRelation7844

"I have so much work to do! Why can't I have my moment of peace!" You are both older than 5 decades old and still throw fits like little kindergarten children, I promise I don't care 😭✌️ Get your shit together. You genuinely can't ask them for the most minimal things EVER. They are absurdly unreliable.

Which is already bad enough on its own without their comical ability to never self reflect. "Why don't you ever help me?!" or "Why are you yelling at me? You're the only one here who does it!" after they spent 5 minutes yelling at me with their enormous capacity to regulate their own volume and emotions 💞

Anyways, grow up. xx

(Read this one with a valley girl accent too so it sounds extra condescending 😋 Also this is about my parents only NOT ALL AUTISTIC PEOPLE okay? Okay! To THOSE people)

I don't know if anyone else relates to my problem, because I mostly see posts of people saying they've adapted a very direct and straightforward communication style because of their parents. But has anyone else had the opposite experience? Communicating using HEAVY social cues and very indirectly?

I feel like I absolutely flourish in environments where social cues and weird etiquette rules are necessary (like workplaces, academic environments or formal cross-cultural exchanges) but absolutely suck at communicating directly with people and just try to subtly push them to do something instead. I hate saying what I want directly because it feels so crude and like I'm being forced to do so, but people who miss social cues end up annoying me because of it. 😭

Which... Never works with my parents, for obvious reasons. Lol. So I'm curious to hear what your experiences are with this.

Yay I'm so glad you chose to sit next to me so I can hear you swearing under your breath loudly mid class, randomly yelling at people, interrupting the class with unrelated questions and drawing stickmen hanging themselves when I tell you idk what the prof said this morning. Thanks a lot. It's especially great that no prof has the balls to tell her off. Hurray

Here's a post many here won't relate to lol: What growing up with autistic parents surrounded by corruption is like.

My mom worked for the government in a classified position that would doxx me if I mentioned. I constantly grew up watching her be a bastion of "meritocratic values" — hard working, honest, never cheated, impossible to corrupt. She got there entirely by merit, and she is probably Top 3 in the entirety of Europe in her field.

So what? Everyone else cheated, and they live better than we do. What did your morals that you valued so much teach me other than that I cannot be a moral person in life or I will be miserable?

There are so many times where I have been frustrated to the point of crying because I was upset she wouldn't break the rules for our own sake. Even as a child I understood how much I (and her) missed out because she just could not work outside of the law. If her employer takes 80% of the money she earns from doing a side gig, instead of setting up a meeting where she can work directly for the person who needs the job done and get 100% of the earnings, she will simply take the 20% and complain. Seriously?! You know you'd get away with it! Your colleagues do!!! And she can't pay a bribe to save her life. And my dad? LMAO. He'd just threaten to beat up the officer or some ridiculously impulsive shit like that. Or maybe whine that it's illegal and he'll report him as if that'd do anything.

Alas, I truly do thank her, because I started cheating on everything from an early age, quickly learning that my intelligence and hard work gets me nowhere. And by doing so I got into university, and will probably get a job by using her connections (she has formed a lot of loyal friendships with similarly successful but honest people, as the elite intellectual minority here). Even though she is reluctant to use her connections in any shady way to help me, I'll try to convince her lol.

I think that's one of the main differences between us. Honestly, I think I'll get further than she did without working as hard, and that's the unfairness I've learned to accept. I yearn for and dearly miss the life and the mother I would have had if she just lived normally and didn't feel the need to work 24/7 to feel safe and secure. If she just tugged the strings she has earned in her favor instead of leaving them be. Would she have had time to raise me? Blind to everything she has earned in order to work less, because all she can see is what she must do to be a good worker.

Being a good worker is useless, and I've promised myself I'll never serve someone else, only myself. Is she proud of me? I don't want to know the answer to that, but I think secretly she is, because she knows she's not happy.

Guys I'm so scared of going on any medication, my mom is super anti-medication and I actually got really sick from an unknown source that could've been from taking ibuprofen on my period. I have to go to the psychologist in secret and he suggested ritalin, but I'm so so scared of becoming addicted to it or not being able to stop so I can travel to countries where it's banned 😭 What do I do?! Is it really safe?

Hii guys maybe if you've read my other posts you know my mom is AuDHD and I have the same ADHD symptoms she does but way worse, and my parents are anti-psychiatry and don't let me get anything checked or any meds. But since uni is starting I got really anxious and got the courage to ask my normal auntie to take me (I lied about the reason but it's ok lol) and she said yes!

I really hope everything goes well tbh I'm gonna cry writing this post because I'm so happy but I'm also so frustrated that the less I trust my parents the better my life becomes. And it's so annoying that they've bound me so much that I have to act like a kid and sneak out after asking to hang out with my other family members. Honestly every day I keep losing more and more hope of things improving with my parents and it's like I'm being worn down by their state of existence. I've always felt like a doll or maybe a pet, like I'm at the same level as my dog.

But it's okay!!! I'm happy today!!!!! And it's so soon too, I don't have to wait 3-6 months like usual! It's tomorrow 😊

Edit: It went amazing and he immediately believed me lol maybe it's more obvious than I thought... He was weirded out by my parents and agreed my dad is most likely autistic and possibly depressed also (I didn't bring my mom up other than ADHD). He confirmed I don't show any symptoms!

"It's sooo obvious, it's common sense! I don't understand why I have to explain it to you!" and it's cooking 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

Okay so my mom is superrr woke. Like really woke. And my best friends are all queer except for me. No one cares about any words we call each other, it's all fun and we mock each other jokingly.

HOWEVER. My mom is ALWAYS there to complain about how mean I'm being to my friends or how they're wonderful and I'm bullying them. It's so fucking annoying and embarrassing and makes everyone uncomfortable. No matter what I do she just won't stop butting in and giving a woke speech about how I should accept their differences. Girl I accept their pickpocketing I promise I won't care if they like men 😭

It's driving me insane! We're all adults and she still treats my friends and I like 12 year olds. And it's just super embarrassing to be degraded by my mom like that. She can't fathom what play arguments are. Always ready to judge me and put me down in public because I break her personal code of conduct. Ughhhh

She's also just plain weird in general. "You can move in with us if your parents don't accept you, okay?" NO the HELL he can't! Just saying shit like this on a whim with zero regards for my dad and I's comfort! And why the hell are you saying that to someone you just met??? 😒

I'll say it with my whole chest! FUCK your special interest! I'm tired of you showing me videos of people dying in the recent Nepal and Tibet floods and getting all excited about it because muh naturuh disastuh 🥺

Goo goo gaga I'm a 60 something year old man and I'll throw a tantrum if you don't watch people die with me (but I'll never Ever say I feel bad for them, only criticize the camera men like the true Redditor I am)

The lack of empathy in general is so fucking gross, he did this with Ukraine war footage last year "Omg how can you feel bad for them? They're Russian soldiers!" so there's this thing called a working normal brain stem

Grown ass parents who can't manage their own emotions are so embarrassing. I literally don't care if you're upset mom I'm your child. Go to therapy or something instead of unloading on me ever since I learned how to talk.

And then she complains that I should go to therapy because I can't manage my emotions whenever I get mad at them?! Woman you randomly tell me about how you're super depressed and want to die! I don't CARE!!! 😭 I literally don't care anymore! Why couldn't you teach me how to manage my emotions like a real, normal parent??? Why is it always my fault for acting the way you raised me to?

In theory you know it's bad but in practice you always do something else. Easy to point the finger at everyone except yourself. Ugh.

If you post on this subreddit your entire social media ad algorithm is going to recommend you annoying "autism tests" and self-diagnosis autism content lol

Ask me how I know 😭

Idk who needs to hear this today but no, that one thing you did as a child that was kind of weird is not a sign you have autism, neurotypical people have weird quirks too and especially kids. Even if you still do it now. You're fine 😭 🫶

No, not even if it's a symptom of autism, you can have those just from mimicking your parents. No, crying because you don't understand how to cope with something they never taught you how to do or cope with doesn't mean you're having a meltdown either. They were supposed to teach you that years ago.

Also, if you freak out trying new things or breaking routine, that's probably just because your parents kept freaking out on you if they did either of those, so you gained the fear from watching them. Ask me how I know 😐

Edit: Please read this before commenting

I've seen a lot of posts about ENFPs with BPD / borderline but not a single one from anyone with NPD or ASPD. So I'm kinda wondering what people know about those ENFPs.

I've been browsing the subreddit and I've seen a lot of people say it's impossible which was kinda funny considering I got medically recognized with traits of both lol so it prompted me to write this. But I'm curious. Maybe you're curious too so you can ask whatever xx

Why is it that the one unfixable unmedicate-able disorder has such a good rep? The person with it often suffers with no way to improve without extensive therapy that often has to start from a very early age or else they end up traumatized and unable to manage it as adults, which then causes them to harm those around them and especially their children.

I heard my friend talk about his schizophrenic neighbor who took her meds and was just completely normal and immediately wondered what it would be like. Would my dad have a job? Would we be able to go on vacation? To the restaurant? Would my mom understand my jokes without getting confused and taking them seriously? Would I stop hearing their meltdowns and arguments?

Yesterday I started talking about my dad with my mom and she kept excusing his behaviors because he didn't mean it and he can't help them. So I just broke down crying and asked:

What horrible sins have I committed in a past life to deserve this?

Why do I have to witness my friends have normal family members and pretend I'm not profoundly revolted by it?

I didn't do anything wrong, so why? I deserve better than this.

And she just stayed quiet and kept talking about our vacation plans calmly. And I guess I didn't feel upset because I realized I can't fix what has been broken long before I came into this world.

They'll never change. They can't. And I'll always be haunted by it. Lol

Edit Guys I think 7 comments is enough I get it 😭 I'd like it if you actually cared about how I feel instead of repeating the same thing over and over

Does anyone else have parents who keep saying this shit and just physically walking away or ignoring you the MOMENT you show any negative reactions to their bullshit?!

My mom: says or does something turbo socially stupid towards me

Me: Please stop fucking doing that you're hurting me. That's not how it works. explains something she should already know but can't

My mom: Why are you speaking to me like that? I'm leaving this conversation.

And then she thinks I'm just being cruel when I ask why the fuck she's actively walking away from me, and acts like she was being helpful to not escalate it. She refuses to ever discuss anything.

Is this an autism thing??? Grown ass woman acting like being confronted on her negative actions is verbal abuse 😭

My dad is even worse (he's more autistic) and just storms off like a teenage boy. Like whatever man.

Oh my fucking god bro just talk to me face-to-face like normal people. Why do they do this?! I don't care about your comfort TALK TO ME!!! I'm your CHILD.

When I point out their bad behaviors due to autism they just look either confused or sad and start trying to excuse themselves. Sometimes my mom starts crying because she feels so guilty. Why do I feel so bad? You traumatized me and ruined my childhood because you couldn't manage your autism, work, life. And yet when I point out anything you did you genuinely meant well and unconditionally loved me while doing those things.

Sometimes I wish you loved me less so I could have become my own person, but you love me so much that it just hurts and I feel guilty for treating you like an equal adult. I love you, why can't you change for me?

Genuinely got nauseous lol it's such an issue that no one else would understand. Autistic this autistic that, it's always about comparing me to the disorder that ruined me without me even having it, isn't it? I will never be my own person.

I really need to stop talking to neurodivergent people, they just end up trying to self-diagnose everything I do. Sorry if that sounds mean. I'm just frustrated. It shouldn't be a big deal but it fills me with self-hatred. 2021 really turned most people my age into pseudo-psychologists...

It also doesn't mean speaking in a forced baby voice and acting like their friend. Everyone can tell you're doing it wrong except you. And of course she makes me do it too and says I'm rude if I just act normal.

Ughhhhhhhhhhh small vent post. I mean it's so bad that when I was dying and the hospital staff wouldn't bother trying to set an appointment and I obviously was being rude to them because of it, she took THEIR side 😅 😅 😅

What are some things you absolutely love that your family does?

For me, I LOVE how kind they are. Even my very European 95 year old grandma who can barely read and write is so genuinely sweet and incapable of being racist. We just had a conversation about how pretty the super dark skinned football players are and how she loves their afro braids and ponytails! I even remember bringing my trans gay friend over and my granny tried her best to adjust to his pronouns 🥹 AND my whole family tried to get me to marry my best friend who is bi and looks like a girl LMFAOOOOO

For my autistic parents specifically, I was always taught to respect rules and be kind to servers, cashiers, teachers etc. I was taught to never judge people based on ethnicity, religion, sexuality, gender or race. I was taught I would be loved unconditionally no matter what (even if I didn't believe it until I became an adult). I wasn't scolded for having bad grades and struggling in school, and they would constantly say they were proud of how intelligent I was anyways even when I was failing a lot of subjects. I seriously appreciate it

I know not everyone has positive things to say about their family or parents, but I think it's nice to talk about the nice things if we have any 😊 🫶