u/Inside-Avocado-2819

I am so fucking tired of this happening with people over and over and over. Coworkers asking "what are your pronouns" "he him" "are you sure its not he they"

And with the gf ill literally just be talking abt my hobbies like "yeah i was looking at old hondas on craigslist" and shes like "youre sooooo manly" i thought i would stop hearing "youre so handsome and valid king" when i graduated high school but no its gonna follow me forever i tried to tell her i dont like feeling like a drag king for having hobbies and everything just has to be a heckin valid joke omfg word for word she responded "I may/will threaten you with makeup when you bully me in the future now that I have this information"

Like thanks for the free conversion therapy do you wanna take me to dinner and pay for it too? Do i need to get in touch with my feminine side by going off my testosterone? Please i just need to talk shit about it because i feel like im in a cult i literally have not had any social interaction in a very long time that didnt feel like this

Idk what i did to warrant this i think maybe forgetting to take my testosterone or accidentally girlmoding

I am staying w/ her bc shes hot and cool and i want a gf but i have no rizz but its really pissing me off and idk a nice way to bring it up

Ngl this is super embarrassing but yeah idek the hefab shit and being implicitly socially detransitioned while people lie thru their teeth really is a cult. In my defense i was lowkey homeless so anything resembling a support network i was doing whatever i could to make it work. But i have basically no topping experience bc compulsory piv and i want to pick her up and carry her and shit but im so scrawny bc im afraid of eating my housing money even when im on food stamps my brain refuses to adapt. I dont want to trigger her dysphoria by being hopeless and i dont want her to feel like im a bottom but im fr hopeless like in my head i literally feel like its morally wrong for me to top her like i feel like how i feel about bottoming is how she would feel and that im flipping the script? Obviously i need to just get over it and eat and work out but any advice for social transition is super welcome too its very refreshing to see people see things a similar way

Theres literally no cis therapist on earth who is gonna get it

Shes always hyping me up ill do like 5 pushups and be super scrawny and shes like i noticed your pump and being freaked out about my body hair and it feels so chill and normal i just feel like im gonna wake up one day and its gonna be taken away from me but all ive ever wanted is to be a pussywhipped bf fr everything else just got in the way and i just cant stop feeling like a caricature of a drag king who wants to act like some douchey cis guy

I was fucking around and going thru it and forgot to consistently take my t for the last couple months and i just started taking it everyday again and its gonna give me problems. All i can think about right now is biting dudes and throwing them around and fucking the shit out of them and eating burgers. Im studying for my final and there was a fuckboy next to me at the library and he smelled like an orange flavored cupcake and all i could think about was biting him and bending him over the table and eating beef jerky i cant make this shit up.

Other than take a cold shower what can i do? This is why i always get nervous when i get my t levels back up i literally had to leave the library. Im not even like physically horny i dont think i just keep thinking about it

Trying to watch bob ross and i just keep trying to imagine what hes like as a person and things details about him remind me of and it makes me feel like i cant relax with the show like i know hes not actually a good person if i spent enough time with him

Dont feel like writing out an example right now but if youre thinking it after reading the title it applies put it in the comments let me do my r and d without the social consequences or using too much energy

I had blocked her for about a year after she voted for trump because she refused to talk to me about it but i wanted to see if we could talk again but shes youre average midwestern white mom she shuts down or changes the subject or tries to drag me into semantic arguments or cry or make fun of me when i try to sit her down and im like there are people in my life who are affected by your attitude and if youre gonna be a part of my life you need to be cool with those people. She says shes not racist but wont date black people, she went to a black lives matter thing one time and did end up screaming at a cop for hurting this black girl but also thinks she knows better about police brutality than the organizers until she stuck around long enough, shes pro palestine but again voted for trump.

What do i do? I miss her but im not gonna let her disrespect people in my life

I used to be a line cook and i got a pair of non slips that look like vans and ngl they are a game changer as a clumsy person

For example like:

1. when you go to rent an apartment, and somebody tells you that the room is yours and you can move in but they dont tell you that they said that to multiple other people and expect you to be looking at multiple other buildings to have options. I think that when somebody says the room is yours that thats what it means but that isnt the case

2. When you leave an interview and they say they like your experience and that theyll call you but then you get ghosted. I will sit there for way longer than i should thinking that they will actually call me

3. When somebody makes poorly made plans for you after saying "we should totally hang out" and then goes mia the day before the plans that apparently means they are waiting for the friendship to die off and they needed time to make a socially appropriate excuse.

What other examples can you guys think of? I am tired of learning the hard way do they have a book for this 😭 these are the people who think struggle is a universal and necessary part of a healthy society

I get too focused on the job and struggle to build working relationships with the right people does anybody have some advice like as much as possible.

Like why do i care about a work potluck i already spend enough time at work now i have to spend my free time feeding my coworkers?

Follow up for this post: https://reddit.com/r/specialed/comments/1sp3juh/11_for_aggressive_student/

So i finally asked the teacher to tell the paras who were jumping in and offering the student toys or carrying him (almost middle school) like a baby away from demand placements because after 2 months he was throwing large fits and looking around at the other paras until they would intervene.

I was told that i dont appreciate my team and that i need to be grateful before they dont help me with his aggressive behavior at all.

Every time i have tried to follow the students behavior plan on seating arrangement and introducing consequences all of the paras and the teacher have argued with me about it but refused to let me get in touch with the psychologist who wrote the behavior plan to get more info. The teacher literally told me "well we dont really need to follow the iep its just there".

Mind you these conversations happen in front of the student who understands what we are saying. The day i asked them to stop intervening without me asking the student tried to kick me in the face and one of the paras told the student "excellent kick".

To be petty they also stopped monitoring the student while i was on my lunch breaks even though no other student in the class has behavior issues beyond just crying to get access to things. They let him eat a can of play doh (replacement strategy suggested by the ot) on my lunch one day and then another day let him put soap in his food and play with it.

i had a fever was on my period with a uti so i was in a bad mood. Every day i move this bottle of hand sanitizer off of the low table by the door because every day the student dumps it on the floor. I came in and he got to it before i could because im not given time to prepare the classroom and i said "why am i putting this bottle up everyday can it just stay up on the shelf" nobody responded to me.

I was told when i had called out the student had almost eloped from the back of the school to the exit to the street at the front of the school and to watch out, then before recess they left all of the doors in the classroom open and he (who attacks other students and bites me hard enough to make me bleed) ran up on the playground with the gen ed students. I said "who left all the doors open and why" and went to get him.

During lunch time he has gotten into the routine of running around the room and attacking the students for attention and when i had gotten him to sit down he was trying to elope or bite me literally every 30 seconds for 40 minutes. I had given him an activity to do but he threw it at the floor and thew his aac at my head.

I asked the teacher if there was something i could get as a physical barrier between me and him because he would run across the classroom to pinch me sometimes (which the other paras would laugh at) and she had said that the behavior was likely sustained by attention so me trying to get him off of me every 30 seconds for 40 minutes could be fueling the cycle. She said i am setting myself up for getting reported for child abuse? And that i complain too much.

i had also mentioned to the slp that scheduling my student in a group session was half the class was a bad idea because they were all kids he attacks on a daily basis.

The next day i came in and she accused me of making suggestions to the slp behind her back, telling me that shes withholding information about my student attacking the other students "for me" but that she can only do that for so long (this was ongoing behavior from the start of the school year?) And that i am making too many complaints about the classroom and that i need to remember that she can write one email to the sped department and i will lose my job.

To be honest i think this attitude from the staff started after i made an incident report about a para who bruised up my stufemt but has been in the class for years because they have all been mocking me for being the only one in the class to actually file incident reports.

I quit yesterday but what do i do now? What can i learn from this?