u/Isolatedlonelycat

Literally, what's the difference between me and a corpes. I'm just existing, drifting through life. Having a body is a prison. Having to care of it is so burdensome it hurts so much, i can't end it because of human survival instincts, and because im a coward. Im currently in my feelings because im in pain because of pooping too hard, seriously, as if life being ass wasn't enough im also tormented by bodily functions because I don't know how to care of myself properly because im too depressed which leads me to being even more depressed due to feeling physical shitty. I don't even know why I'm writing this, to be honest, I just needed to let something out into the void, and im in pain. I'm depressed over not being able to shit properly without pain, i feel a little pathetic because I feel like I'm being a bit over dramatic. Has anyone felt the same way when even bodily functions and having a body are burdensome and a chore?

Anyways, sorry for rambling. To whoever reads this, I hope your day is better than mine, or at least not too bad.

I'm so fucking tired of this endless torment every time I need to poop, why does pooping have to cause so much pain and suffering? I just finished pushing out all the poop out and guess what? I cramped again by pushing too hard. And to make matters worse, I have to take a finale exam online currently, fml. Sometimes, I genuinely miss having diarrhea. That's how much I'm sick of constipation. Whoever says diarrhea is worse than constipation is fucking lying, I'm in so much pain rn I think I'm dying.

People talk about when you get pregnant when my constipated ass can't even shit properly, I take that as a threat to my life because literally every time I shit I feel like I'm already giving birth! Last time, I accidentally pushed too hard while pooping i genuinely thought I was not making it. The pain was unbearable. i looked like i was on my death bed. And here I am again with the same pain it doesn't end. My torment is eternal. I'd rather die than get pregnant and give birth. It's literally self harm because there is no reason for it unlike shit i literally NEED TO SHIT.

I know people have to make money, but it feels like these ads are increasing in quantity everywhere to the point where it has taken over the internet.

It especially irritates me when I'm watching YouTube videos. They give me two ads before the video starts, and then the person in the video advertises a sponsor, and then comes another two ads along with a pop-up ad on the side when you pause the video, it's relentless.

The worst kinds of ads are where the actors act over exaggerateingly happy, joyful, and whimsical. I don't know why they piss me off so badly, but they do. Maybe because they keep interrupting me constantly when I'm just trying to watch videos in peace, like get the fuck away from my screen! Makes me even more mad when it's the same ads repeatedly over and over again.

Also cant forget the guilt tripping ads. "You will probably skip this ad/video." You're right. I will. The more a product/service or whatever is advertised, i make sure to avoid it. It's automatic at this point how my finger immediately clicks the skip button.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

I often order food delivery from a nearby restaurant even though it gave me food poisoning multiple times because I live in the middle of nowhere and there aren't many options. It's tolerable fast food, and i can't cook for shit.

I usually order soda with my meal, specifically Pepsi, but they keep bringing me coco cola, which I also like, but I prefer Pepsi. When I asked them if they have any Pepsi, they always say they ran out or don't have any, even though in the past they used to have it. So I got used to ordering Pepsi and them bringing me coco cola to see if one day they might have Pepsi.

I also decided to take this chance to try out new sodas, like a semi like seven up soda or Orange Fanta, that was disgusting! Genuinely the worst soda I've had in my life. I couldn't get past the strong overwhelming artificial Orange tast... nothing hit the same as Pepsi did.

One day, I ordered my usual again, expecting the same thing, me asking for Pepsi them giving me coco cola. However, I was pleasantly surprised that for once, they actually brought me Pepsi! Finally, I hadn't had one in a long time. I was so happy.

Though that happiness was temporary because when I ordered again expecting Pepsi, they gave me cola. Looks like that was a one-time thing. I no longer eat there as often, but I still think of that moment. Yes, my life is that boring, lol.

she's only a toddler, but idc, I need to get this out of my chest

Here is some context, she's deaf so parenting her is difficult since she literally can't hear, so she can't speak but whines and yells constantly, so she's behind.

I honestly wouldn't care or be this annoyed if my sister didn't visit us so much and stays for long periods, especially whenever her husband leaves for work. The kid is so energetic to the point she doesn't sleep much (which is the only time I've ever felt peace when she's around) she yells and whines CONSTANTLY AND VERY LOUDLY 24/7 NONSTOP IM NOT EXAGGERATING. We don't have furniture upstairs, so the echo makes it worse. She's already addicted to technology, basically an iPad baby and cries whenever she doesn't get the TV or a device turned on.

In the past, i used to be forced to babysit her, but recently, I've put my foot down. Especially since my sister doesn't have the excuse of being busy with college anymore. She had her daughter while she was in college because she got married early, which is common in my conservative country, ifykyk. I view my niece and nephew as a chore because that's what they are, and all kids are to me, like cutting your grass and shit. Just tolerating them.

My mother constantly complains about having to watch over her grandchildren. EVEN THOUGH SHES THE ONE WHO AGREES TO BABYSITTING THEM, and then she tries to force me to babysit. She's worried over my sisters wellbeing, yet she tells her to have more kids smh.

Sigh, I'm tired, guys. Now, with all this, they still breed because they are brainwashed. My mother sometimes even tells my two older sisters to give their children siblings. I hate this family, bruh. If I could move out, I would in an instant heartbeat, but unfortunately, it's not that simple.

I heard a story awhile ago about a woman who was deaf and blind who had kids, and the kids are being looked after by the grandmother. Point is people over here breed no matter what because they say its the script of life, i swear they all say it at the same time automatically like brainwashed robots its scary. This is truly hell, I need out. I feel like a person from the future who's traveled back in time to the past. GET ME OUT OF HERE.

Sorry if this is messy and doesn't make sense. I just need to get this out of my chest into the void because yall are the only ones who could understand.

Chat, can anyone relate?

Why would I willingly let anyone experience the horrors of constipation? That's just evil. I hate bodily functions so much, especially pooping. Shitting problems end with me, or they are more likely to end me. Yes, I am writing this as I'm recovering from constipation.

So I was a little constipated earlier, nothing new. While pooping i accidentally pushed out too hard, and holy hell, the pain is unbearable... im currently writing this with a heating pad on the pained area. The lower area on my stomach hurts so bad. I felt like i was going to throw up, but thankfully, i didn't. I shouldn't have risked it and just drank apple juice since it usually helps. Please learn from my mistake and don't do what I did. Take this as cautionary warning tail. This pain got me questioning all my life choices that led up to this moment. Constipation truly is the worst... fml. :,( why does pooping have to cause me so much suffering and pain.

I know there are other apps, but for me, nothing will beat character ai in its prime. It has and always will have a special place in my heart. Whenever I go back into the website out of habit, I constantly get disappointed once I remember that the other chat styles are truly gone. I feel empty now that my coping mechanism is gone...

Does anyone have any app recommendations similar to character ai?