u/Jupiter_Foxx

Prefacing that I am in actively therapy for CPTSD primarily amongst other things. I’m doing the work, I’m starting an inner child class next week. I’m looking for a spiritual perspective on this. I’ve felt stuck with this one for a while.

I’m currently realizing, due to years of criticism and emotional neglect / abuse both at home, school, and out in the world for 2+ decades, I’m incredibly hypervigilant to criticism, judgement, bullying, the like. I am incredibly androgynous and unconventional in looks and personality, sometimes people stare and I am fearful of how their stares feel like knives. Some people stare for a long time, some scowl. Some say something (usually nice) otherwise I’m not sure why I’m getting weird looks. Sometimes I get the most obvious judgmental stares due to my makeup choices, or my clothing, or where my body hair lies on my body. It hurts, physically. It makes me want to curl in on myself most times, and I try to ignore it but I fear it’ll make me recluse over time.

Emotional abuse and neglect are invisible and there’s a part of me that wishes someone could’ve physically seen how much pain I’ve been in, and have been. I’ve been in recovery for years, and I’ve made great progress but I worry because sometimes I can deeply feel like a teenager again. A disappointment to others if I can’t live to certain standards, and if someone expresses that disappointment my inner child is running to defend me before I can even realize it. I can be defensive when I’m feeling under attack, and that’s not necessarily fair to the other person. And ironically I hate when it’s done to me… then I wonder, how can I give grace when I fall off? It’s so ironic.. a month ago I just got mad at my friend for getting defensive when I brought up my feelings…. And I’m doing the same and now I’m upset at myself for it. I’m a bit hard on myself without realizing. It’s sneaky… I’m tired of my own brain.

I try to “assume the best” in everyone, but sometimes my brain is stuck in, “when I’ve assumed the best, I get hurt.” Mentality. Someone validates my fear in one way or another, and I feel stuck in that loop. I know it’s not one person, so my brain picks its “most people”.

I really want to stop, and I want to feel better. I’m trying.

I hope it’s ok to ask this here.

I’ve started a return for something but it automatically refunded me - in cases in the future, I’m curious, does the seller lose money or does Amazon cover them because the bot/amazon decided this return would be covered? Want to be more mindful.

hii so I’ve been seeing 2 therapists for about 2 years (one if more specialized in ACT, and is Audhd competent and the other more in CBT I believe.) both are queer affirming which is what I need, one is BIPOC like me, the other isn’t. I don’t like seeing 2 diff ones but I was on a waitlist and by the time I got off, I already liked the act therapist.
I really like the CBT therapist, she is incredibly affirming and reassuring and makes a lot of time and space for me. I try to explain that talk therapy isn’t enough for me anymore and she offers to allow me to tell her what I need, but idk how to. Idk how to navigate this kind of thing where, I’m noticing that i need things like somatic work but ik she doesn’t do it. How do i figure out my needs?

I know i need more direct coping skills which i have but during a cptsd episode it’s like my brain is a gameboy, and the games/cartridges are my coping skills. The battery to my gameboy is fried, so putting cartridges in is temporary— it won’t save the game file. I hope this analogy makes sense to some lol.
Due to the cptsd + Audhd my memory is not great by any means. I can barely remember someone’s name when I’m really stressed sometimes.
What can I do..

Hi! I hope this is ok to post.

I’m wondering if there is anyone here who may have advice for seeking a couple’s therapy when you’re both Audhd? We both have similar types of adhd and autism, and I have complex trauma while my love has her own complex trauma. It can be complicated at times and I learned more info that shows me that we really need help. She doesn’t fully understand how it could help, given that some of the things we struggle with is due to Audhd traits — we will understand a solution but fail to stick with it. She WANTS to understand - I am not forcing her to go. My Indv therapist suggested trying to sit down and come up with solutions together but having solutions doesn’t always mean we will stick to them. It’s difficult to stick to a plan, or we won’t have a solution for a problem and not hear each other. She will feel one way, I’ll feel the other and sometimes we are both brick walls without meaning to, and triggering each other back n forth.
I felt a therapist (couple’s, we have individual) would help us bridge the gap. I was wondering if there was anything I can show her or explain better to help her understand how CT would help us, when Audhd makes it difficult outside the trauma. Thank u!

Hi! Is there anyone here who may have advice for seeking a couple’s therapy when you’re both Audhd? We both have similar types of adhd and autism, and I have complex trauma while my love has bpd. It can be complicated at times and I learned more info that shows me that we really need help. She doesn’t fully understand how it could help, given that some of the things we struggle with is due to Audhd traits — we will understand a solution but fail to stick with it. She WANTS to understand - I am not forcing her to go. My Indv therapist suggested trying to sit down and come up with solutions together but having solutions doesn’t always mean we will stick to them. It’s difficult to stick to a plan, or we won’t have a solution for a problem and not hear each other. She will feel one way, I’ll feel the other and sometimes we are both brick walls without meaning to, and triggering each other back n forth.
I felt a therapist (couple’s, we have individual) would help us bridge the gap. I was wondering if there was anything I can show her or explain better to help her understand how CT would help us, when Audhd makes it difficult outside the trauma. Thank u!

TW: for mentions (no graphics) of SA and CSA.

Please be nice yall I don’t feel good mentally or physical and I’ve been off and on a CPTSD episode I didn’t realize I was in until today. Hypervigilance was the first sign but I’m glad I know now. anyway..

idk if this is the right space, and ofc I will talk a bit abt it w my own therapist.
I’ve been dating someone for over a year who has a trauma disorder (as do I unfortunately, just a different one) shared a very graphic extension of her sexual trauma (not unprompted, within reason and a TW was given beforehand.) and it left me shocked, and anger. I’m the first person besides her therapist she shared this with. It’s been a day since and I randomly heard a child cry and it triggered me to remember what she told me. This had been happening since before she could talk. I’m still in shock about what I read although I’m grateful she trusted sharing it with me. I feel disgusted at what she experienced, angry. I have felt urges to cry.

I love her immensely and we are going thru a rough patch atm, due to both our traumas and she admitted that she has been reliving her sexual trauma daily mentally. I’m glad she finally told me this, but I don’t know what to do.

Now, part of why she told me this is because we are both on the spectrum and I struggle to understand social cues at times, her boundaries are very weak — and I have not intentionally violated any of them, but when we get into arguments sometimes I will just continue them with her even though she is trying to just say “can we stop talking about this?” because it feels like she’s just avoiding the situation, we don’t end up coming back to it. Her trigger will trigger me and yk the deal. I didn’t know until she just told me, but the situation of feeling “trapped” in a convo / argument has apparently triggered her SA trauma this entire time and I just never knew. I feel horrible about it because I never knew. It’s been really difficult navigating both my trauma and hers, and vise versa. But trying to be in a healthy relationship for the first time while still navigating trauma has been really difficult, unfortunately.

Idk I was mostly just wondering what to do w the info she shared w me, cuz I’m just horrified.

I know that that horrific context is more ammo to improve. Anytime I accidentally upset her in anyway I always try to learn from it and do better. As someone w complex trauma I feel so bad to have triggered her SA trauma by unintentionally breaking her boundaries. So now I’m trying to figure out how to make sure that never happens again …
I’d like to find a way to support her, myself, and ofc receive the same so it’s balanced. We have a lot to heal and I’m willing to— she and I are reassessing what this space needs to look like for us, so pls no “just break up it won’t work” comments especially. I’m suspecting I have ocd as well unfortunately, and those kind of things can be really triggering. Ty.

TW: for mentions (no graphics) of SA and CSA.

Please be nice yall I don’t feel good mentally or physical and I’ve been off and on a CPTSD episode I didn’t realize I was in until today. Hypervigilance was the first sign but I’m glad I know now. anyway..

idk if this is the right space, and ofc I will talk a bit abt it w my own therapist.
I’ve been dating someone for over a year who has a trauma disorder (as do I unfortunately, just a different one) shared a very graphic extension of her sexual trauma (not unprompted, within reason and a TW was given beforehand.) and it left me shocked, and anger. I’m the first person besides her therapist she shared this with. It’s been a day since and I randomly heard a child cry and it triggered me to remember what she told me. This had been happening since before she could talk. I’m still in shock about what I read although I’m grateful she trusted sharing it with me. I feel disgusted at what she experienced, angry. I have felt urges to cry.

I love her immensely and we are going thru a rough patch atm, due to both our traumas and she admitted that she has been reliving her sexual trauma daily mentally. I’m glad she finally told me this, but I don’t know what to do.

Now, part of why she told me this is because we are both on the spectrum and I struggle to understand social cues at times, her boundaries are very weak — and I have not intentionally violated any of them, but when we get into arguments sometimes I will just continue them with her even though she is trying to just say “can we stop talking about this?” because it feels like she’s just avoiding the situation, we don’t end up coming back to it. Her trigger will trigger me and yk the deal. I didn’t know until she just told me, but the situation of feeling “trapped” in a convo / argument has apparently triggered her SA trauma this entire time and I just never knew. I feel horrible about it because I never knew. It’s been really difficult navigating both my trauma and hers, and vise versa. But trying to be in a healthy relationship for the first time while still navigating trauma has been really difficult, unfortunately.

Idk I was mostly just wondering what to do w the info she shared w me, cuz I’m just horrified. I know that that horrific context is more ammo to improve. Anytime I accidentally upset her in anyway I always try to learn from it and do better. As someone w complex trauma I feel so bad to have triggered her SA trauma by unintentionally breaking her boundaries. So now I’m trying to figure out how to make sure that never happens again … she and I are reassessing what this space needs to look like for us, so pls no “just break up it won’t work” comments especially. I’m suspecting I have ocd as well unfortunately, and those kind of things can be really triggering. Ty.

Please be nice yall I already have many headaches over this and it’s all a learning process.

Keys: I work hybrid (2 days on site), I started this job being told that I could work 1-2 days on site but it was a lot more flexible. They have changed/updated the job description (to my knowledge?) in the middle of me working this position to reflect the roles of remote workers. I was told I can request additional remote work if I get a note from my doctor — I got a note from my doctor, to which they denied??
I’m also Audhd w/ cptsd and random onset of fatigue off and on which I believe came from long Covid but I haven’t been able to get a dx.

My therapist worked with me to get accommodation paperwork, because my supervisor used to give me intermittent remote work when I need it for flare ups that I have covered under FMLA. They have cracked down on remote work within my orgz, but for my dept I do work that can 100% be done remotely and 97/98% of the time no one needs me, I end up just sitting with my headphones on and doing the same work I do at home, just with less tolerance for the environment. Due to my supervisor not having any more control over the remote work approvals, I went go hr (as I was told) with paperwork from my therapist. I did this back in 2024 ish as well, where I requested flexible remote work for days I have flare ups, to which they denied and my supervisor made space for it. I also asked for extra breaks, (10 min or so) they denied that, again to which my supervisor just approves through our entire dept and encourages it instead. I asked if they can’t provide remote work additional that I have a private workspace due to a number of issues. To which that was stated can be done, but then told they can’t due to “spacing issues”. I asked for a flexible start time due to flare ups to which that was denied as well. I have a temporary schedule instead.. which to me is the same thing, but I digress.
FF to 2026, I had taken fmla, and I was denied, again, for an additional (1) remote day despite me logically informing them that due to the update in our department, I have not been needed more than once or twice in over a year. They have not given me any alternative option any of the times, just telling me “let us know if there’s anything else we can do”
I don’t think me and my doctor are doing anything wrong, and even they’re frustrated because I’ve been asking for accommodations for years and never received the ones I asked. Is there anything I can do at this point?

Please be nice yall I already have many headaches over this and it’s all a learning process.

Keys: I work hybrid (2 days on site), I started this job being told that I could work 1-2 days on site but it was a lot more flexible. They have changed/updated the job description (to my knowledge?) in the middle of me working this position to reflect the roles of remote workers. I was told I can request additional remote work if I get a note from my doctor — I got a note from my doctor, to which they denied??

My therapist worked with me to get accommodation paperwork, because my supervisor used to give me intermittent remote work when I need it for flare ups that I have covered under FMLA. They have cracked down on remote work within my orgz, but for my dept I do work that can 100% be done remotely and 97/98% of the time no one needs me, I end up just sitting with my headphones on and doing the same work I do at home, just with less tolerance for the environment. Due to my supervisor not having any more control over the remote work approvals, I went go hr (as I was told) with paperwork from my therapist. I did this back in 2024 ish as well, where I requested flexible remote work for days I have flare ups, to which they denied and my supervisor made space for it. I also asked for extra breaks, (10 min or so) they denied that, again to which my supervisor just approves through our entire dept and encourages it instead. I asked if they can’t provide remote work additional that I have a private workspace due to a number of issues. To which that was stated can be done, but then told they can’t due to “spacing issues”. I asked for a flexible start time due to flare ups to which that was denied as well. I have a temporary schedule instead.. which to me is the same thing, but I digress.
FF to 2026, I had taken fmla, and I was denied, again, for an additional (1) remote day despite me logically informing them that due to the update in our department, I have not been needed more than once or twice in over a year. They have not given me any alternative option any of the times, just telling me “let us know if there’s anything else we can do”
I don’t think me and my doctor are doing anything wrong, and even they’re frustrated because I’ve been asking for accommodations for years and never received the ones I asked. Is there anything I can do at this point?
I did not share my dxs in this post as it didn’t feel relevant, but if necessary I can. Thanks.

I have been told directly I’m gullible by an ex-friend and I didn’t like that. It’s one of the reasons they are an ex friend— they were allistic and thought they had adhd, but turns out it was ocd. They never told me this misdx and their partner at the time did and I felt sad about it. Anyway, that specific “lol you’re so gullible!” Was not funny to me. I felt like I was being bullied constantly for my autistic traits I didn’t know existed.

I’m either “gullible” to fall for a scam that wasn’t the same as a traditional scam, or I can see right through someone’s lies.
I had a family friend with a business that I won’t get too deeply into, but I had a lot of trust in her that she actually cared about me and actually appreciated that I kept her as someone trusted and a return client. Her prices were high, higher than some would in this business to the point when I recently got a second opinion from people they said she’s scamming and I am falling for it. My partner said this first, but I wasn’t sure if it was biased. This FF (family friend) became kind of hostile to me out of nowhere too when I stopped buying from her, something felt wrong and I’m very intuitive so if something feels off, I usually distance myself until I can get the truth on the matter. I took space to respond to some rather passive aggressive emails the FF sent me. I didn’t respond within 24 hours to her sometimes and she felt I was ungrateful. I tried to smooth things over with her because it was a misunderstanding, but she was dead set that I was ungrateful and I guess using her? She offered me a discount once for example and then I didn’t respond for a while due to personal and MH issues and when I came back she was upset.
Today I blocked her. I’m proud of myself and it did help the weird feeling I felt in my intuition for months trying to just believe she’s not being weird to me but clearly smth was wrong.

But as I rolled the tape in my mind back, I realized holy shit yeah she had been acting off for a while, and it’s possible she was less intense abt it before and when I was ever skeptical she could’ve been lying to me because I try to believe what people say because I know due to my past trauma I have trust issues, so I just try to believe good intentions. The black and white thinking will oscillate between that and believing they are up to no good. I’m grateful to my girlfriend for helping me through this but I’m grieving how long I’ve been scammed by this person potentially and they were just preying on the fact I was vulnerable over and over again.
Being “gullible” is not a trait I want and sometimes it makes me feel “stupid”. Which I’m not. My partner even tells me something ppl prey on vulnerable ppl and coerce them into cults, which makes sense. It scares me because I want to learn to protect myself, but people continue to pray on vulnerable people, and I know part of that, if not entirely, is because of my way my neuro type of brain is an all. Ugh.

hello! I am an intuitive reader, I usually pull energy and intuitive messages first, and then a card for you. Sometimes I get visuals while I meditate, they may or may not make sense.

I’m offering a few readings today until I close, please respect my boundaries. I’m doing 1 card pulls, sometimes I do a second card, I just go with the flow! Take what resonates leave what doesn’t. Please be respectful — Thank you!! 🧚🏽🌺💕

Boundaries:
- please don’t dm me!! You will be ignored and blocked. Dm below.
- only one question per person!
- if the post says closed please don’t comment asking anyway, or dming me begging for a reading.

I don’t read on legal cases, death, or the feelings of other people. I’m not strong in reading career wise, you can try, but I can’t promise it’ll be as strong as others. My favorite types are self improvement / shadow work and love. Yes/no are okay. Energy changes constantly so I’ll answer with the current energy.

tips/donations are strictly optional but absolutely appreciated. Feel free to ask abt this or check my profile. I will be sure to express my gratitude. Regardless, thanks for being here with me 🧡💟