u/Just-Heart-3262

Hello! I’m 28F, 8 months post-partum, a first time mom. I have been experiencing what I think is post-partum depression. Multiple things triggered it I think but I don’t want to go into every single detail. Some of my prior posts may give some insight to that. But prior to this season of my life, I have had episodes of depression as well. I even got the “puppy blues” when I got my puppy and was trying to train him and take care of him in the beginning stages. I didn’t even know that was a thing when it was happening. But I was a mess.

I was sitting here holding my baby and just had an epiphany, it feels anyway lol. Why do I not want to do anything anymore? Why do I not get excited about things as much as I once did? The true me wants to do things and WANTS to be excited for things. I want to have a pep in my step. I want to want to talk to people. This isn’t just post-partum either. I’ve been like this many times before. Mainly started after high school. It’s like I remember a time where I was so much fuller of life. More light in me. I want it back. Do I just need to get on medication for depression is my question. Is that what’s missing here? Am I just depressed? Can anyone relate to this.

Being post-partum, a new mom, I really want to just become the healthiest and best me possible for my son and myself. I want to find myself and find those missing parts of myself. I want to be less tired and more energetic. And I know that comes with being a new mom/motherhood but it’s more than just that. Ive been like this BEFORE this season of my life too. I’m so sick of feeling like this. I’m always wanting to cancel plans and just be alone and not talk. Even with partner. Sometime it’s like I’m good with not speaking, staying in all the time. And I know that’s not fun, or living life to the fullest etc.

I’m ready to book a doc appt tomorrow morning and seriously consider trying out medication.

Hello! I’m 28F, 8 months post-partum, a first time mom. I have been experiencing what I think is post-partum depression. Multiple things triggered it I think but I don’t want to go into every single detail. Some of my prior posts may give some insight to that. But prior to this season of my life, I have had episodes of depression as well. I even got the “puppy blues” when I got my puppy and was trying to train him and take care of him in the beginning stages. I didn’t even know that was a thing when it was happening. But I was a mess.

I was sitting here holding my baby and just had an epiphany, it feels anyway lol. Why do I not want to do anything anymore? Why do I not get excited about things as much as I once did? The true me wants to do things and WANTS to be excited for things. I want to have a pep in my step. I want to want to talk to people. This isn’t just post-partum either. I’ve been like this many times before. Mainly started after high school. It’s like I remember a time where I was so much fuller of life. More light in me. I want it back. Do I just need to get on medication for depression is my question. Is that what’s missing here? Am I just depressed? Can anyone relate to this.

Being post-partum, a new mom, I really want to just become the healthiest and best me possible for my son and myself. I want to find myself and find those missing parts of myself. I want to be less tired and more energetic. And I know that comes with being a new mom/motherhood but it’s more than just that. Ive been like this BEFORE this season of my life too. I’m so sick of feeling like this. I’m always wanting to cancel plans and just be alone and not talk. Even with partner. Sometime it’s like I’m good with not speaking, staying in all the time. And I know that’s not fun, or living life to the fullest etc.

I’m ready to book a doc appt tomorrow morning and seriously consider trying out medication.

Am I in the wrong for questioning this relationship after things like this pop up?

We were talking about the meaning of life, what happened after we pass etc. I said something about not believing in one thing yet I still envision my loved ones up above me etc. I was expressing my contrasting thoughts. He then made two comments that made me feel immediately icked out but also stupid. He said “that’s a basic thought”.. then I questioned him saying that and he said “say something bold”.

It’s the next morning and I am still clearly thinking about his comment. What’s the point in saying that to someone? Does that make someone feel safe to be vulnerable the next time or open up to get even deeper the next time? No lol. It’s not beneficial really to either of us.

Am I in the wrong / being sensitive or is it just rude.

We were talking about the meaning of life, what happened after we pass etc. I said something about not believing in one thing yet I still envision my loved ones up above me etc. I was expressing my contrasting thoughts. He then made two comments that made me feel immediately icked out but also stupid. He said “that’s a basic thought”.. then I questioned him saying that and he said “say something bold”.

It’s the next morning and I am still clearly thinking about his comment. What’s the point in saying that to someone? Does that make someone feel safe to be vulnerable the next time or open up to get even deeper the next time? No lol. It’s not beneficial really to either of us.

Am I in the wrong / being sensitive or is it just rude.

\*\*Okay I’m honestly not sure which sub to even post this into. I need outside opinions and if anyone can relate even a little to give me some insight. A common thing in my relationship is my boyfriend will say something. I feel criticized. Either it hits an insecurity or triggers something in me to be like oof no I don’t like that(and my body legit puts blockers up I can feel it). And then I react poorly. Get defensive. Sometimes try not to be defensive and still wound up “painting the wrong picture of him”. Or “always assuming he’s being a jerk” etc.\*\*

Here are 3 recent comments he’s made.

I am doing a very quick fix to my face in the mirror before leaving the house with him. \\\*\\\*He says “have you ever thought about doing thicker brows?”. Okay now this one I can see how I didn’t need to get all defensive and weird about it but it’s because there’s always something it seems. But then I’m like no maybe I am the issue here.
We are out for lunch. Day is going great! We sit down at table and \\\*\\\*he brings up a tattoo I want and goes “so you want it there on your wrist? Why not incorporate it with your other tattoos on your upper arm?” I get defensive again. I show him my inspo on Pinterest and he shares his dislike for it.
We are discussing introducing purées to our 6 month old baby. We are going back and fourth, I’m saying how we should start off with baby cereal, sweet potatoes etc. we were butting heads a little but it was fine. \\\*\\\*He then says “like idk how you’re going to be when he starts gagging and stuff.” (I took it as a nudge towards my anxiety) i didn’t know how to respond, i just said “okay” because i didn’t want to get all defensive but then he was like wdym okay.
We were at a festival and another new mom came up to me. We were having small talk. She walked away and that was that.\\\*\\\* He then said to me”you suck at making friends”.

How does one hear these things and work on not being instantly reactive/defensive. I started going to therapy as well to work on myself. These kind of comments pop up weekly it seems. And I immediately just feel icked and upset and question myself and him. I understand he can have an opinion.

Any thoughts thrown my way would be appreciated regarding any part of this. Thank you.

Okay I’m honestly not sure which sub to even post this into. I need outside opinions and if anyone can relate even a little to give me some insight. A common thing in my relationship is my boyfriend will say something. I feel criticized. Either it hits an insecurity or triggers something in me to be like oof no I don’t like that(and my body legit puts blockers up I can feel it). And then I react poorly. Get defensive. Sometimes try not to be defensive and still wound up “painting the wrong picture of him”. Or “always assuming he’s being a jerk” etc.

Here are 3 recent comments he’s made.

I am doing a very quick fix to my face in the mirror before leaving the house with him. **He says “have you ever thought about doing thicker brows?”. Okay now this one I can see how I didn’t need to get all defensive and weird about it but it’s because there’s always something it seems. But then I’m like no maybe I am the issue here.
We are out for lunch. Day is going great! We sit down at table and **he brings up a tattoo I want and goes “so you want it there on your wrist? Why not incorporate it with your other tattoos on your upper arm?” I get defensive again. I show him my inspo on Pinterest and he shares his dislike for it.
We are discussing introducing purées to our 6 month old baby. We are going back and fourth, I’m saying how we should start off with baby cereal, sweet potatoes etc. we were butting heads a little but it was fine. **He then says “like idk how you’re going to be when he starts gagging and stuff.” (I took it as a nudge towards my anxiety) i didn’t know how to respond, i just said “okay” because i didn’t want to get all defensive but then he was like wdym okay.
We were at a festival and another new mom came up to me. We were having small talk. She walked away and that was that.** He then said to me”you suck at making friends”.

How does one hear these things and work on not being instantly reactive/defensive. I started going to therapy as well to work on myself. These kind of comments pop up weekly it seems. And I immediately just feel icked and upset and question myself and him. I understand he can have an opinion.

Any thoughts thrown my way would be appreciated regarding any part of this. Thank you.

Okay I’m honestly not sure which sub to even post this into. I need outside opinions and if anyone can relate even a little to give me some insight. A common thing in my relationship is my boyfriend will say something. I feel criticized. Either it hits an insecurity or triggers something in me to be like oof no I don’t like that(and my body legit puts blockers up I can feel it). And then I react poorly. Get defensive. Sometimes try not to be defensive and still wound up “painting the wrong picture of him”. Or “always assuming he’s being a jerk” etc.

Here are 3 recent comments he’s made.

I am doing a very quick fix to my face in the mirror before leaving the house with him. **He says “have you ever thought about doing thicker brows?”. Okay now this one I can see how I didn’t need to get all defensive and weird about it but it’s because there’s always something it seems. But then I’m like no maybe I am the issue here.
We are out for lunch. Day is going great! We sit down at table and **he brings up a tattoo I want and goes “so you want it there on your wrist? Why not incorporate it with your other tattoos on your upper arm?” I get defensive again. I show him my inspo on Pinterest and he shares his dislike for it.
We are discussing introducing purées to our 6 month old baby. We are going back and fourth, I’m saying how we should start off with baby cereal, sweet potatoes etc. we were butting heads a little but it was fine. **He then says “like idk how you’re going to be when he starts gagging and stuff.” (I took it as a nudge towards my anxiety) i didn’t know how to respond, i just said “okay” because i didn’t want to get all defensive but then he was like wdym okay.
We were at a festival and another new mom came up to me. We were having small talk. She walked away and that was that.** He then said to me”you suck at making friends”.

How does one hear these things and work on not being instantly reactive/defensive. I started going to therapy as well to work on myself. These kind of comments pop up weekly it seems. And I immediately just feel icked and upset and question myself and him. I understand he can have an opinion.

Any thoughts thrown my way would be appreciated regarding any part of this. Thank you.

Okay I’m honestly not sure which sub to even post this into. I need outside opinions and if anyone can relate even a little to give me some insight. A common thing in my relationship is my boyfriend will say something. I feel criticized. Either it hits an insecurity or triggers something in me to be like oof no I don’t like that(and my body legit puts blockers up I can feel it). And then I react poorly. Get defensive. Sometimes try not to be defensive and still wound up “painting the wrong picture of him”. Or “always assuming he’s being a jerk” etc.

Here are 3 recent comments he’s made.

I am doing a very quick fix to my face in the mirror before leaving the house with him. **He says “have you ever thought about doing thicker brows?”. Okay now this one I can see how I didn’t need to get all defensive and weird about it but it’s because there’s always something it seems. But then I’m like no maybe I am the issue here.
We are out for lunch. Day is going great! We sit down at table and **he brings up a tattoo I want and goes “so you want it there on your wrist? Why not incorporate it with your other tattoos on your upper arm?” I get defensive again. I show him my inspo on Pinterest and he shares his dislike for it.
We are discussing introducing purées to our 6 month old baby. We are going back and fourth, I’m saying how we should start off with baby cereal, sweet potatoes etc. we were butting heads a little but it was fine. **He then says “like idk how you’re going to be when he starts gagging and stuff.” (I took it as a nudge towards my anxiety) i didn’t know how to respond, i just said “okay” because i didn’t want to get all defensive but then he was like wdym okay.
We were at a festival and another new mom came up to me. We were having small talk. She walked away and that was that.** He then said to me”you suck at making friends”.

How does one hear these things and work on not being instantly reactive/defensive. I started going to therapy as well to work on myself. These kind of comments pop up weekly it seems. And I immediately just feel icked and upset and question myself and him. I understand he can have an opinion.

Any thoughts thrown my way would be appreciated regarding any part of this. Thank you.

Okay I’m honestly not sure which sub to even post this into. I need outside opinions and if anyone can relate even a little to give me some insight. A common thing in my relationship is my boyfriend will say something. I feel criticized. Either it hits an insecurity or triggers something in me to be like oof no I don’t like that(and my body legit puts blockers up I can feel it). And then I react poorly. Get defensive. Sometimes try not to be defensive and still wound up “painting the wrong picture of him”. Or “always assuming he’s being a jerk” etc.

Here are 3 recent comments he’s made.

I am doing a very quick fix to my face in the mirror before leaving the house with him. **He says “have you ever thought about doing thicker brows?”. Okay now this one I can see how I didn’t need to get all defensive and weird about it but it’s because there’s always something it seems. But then I’m like no maybe I am the issue here.
We are out for lunch. Day is going great! We sit down at table and **he brings up a tattoo I want and goes “so you want it there on your wrist? Why not incorporate it with your other tattoos on your upper arm?” I get defensive again. I show him my inspo on Pinterest and he shares his dislike for it.
We are discussing introducing purées to our 6 month old baby. We are going back and fourth, I’m saying how we should start off with baby cereal, sweet potatoes etc. we were butting heads a little but it was fine. **He then says “like idk how you’re going to be when he starts gagging and stuff.” (I took it as a nudge towards my anxiety) i didn’t know how to respond, i just said “okay” because i didn’t want to get all defensive but then he was like wdym okay.
We were at a festival and another new mom came up to me. We were having small talk. She walked away and that was that.** He then said to me”you suck at making friends”.

How does one hear these things and work on not being instantly reactive/defensive. I started going to therapy as well to work on myself. These kind of comments pop up weekly it seems. And I immediately just feel icked and upset and question myself and him. I understand he can have an opinion.

Any thoughts thrown my way would be appreciated regarding any part of this. Thank you.

How do I go about this? They just fake it for the sake of me. It gives me anxiety and makes me doubt that this is my husband. What do I dooo

Was I wrong for being upset or was I being dramatic and making it too deep out of my own insecurity/ lack of self confidence etc.

Me and my bf sat down at a restaurant and he goes “so your getting your tattoo on your wrist? You should incorporate it within your other tattoos. “

I have somewhat of a sticker sleeve in the works. Dainty tattoos. A full filled in sleeve wasn’t my vibe. Anyway, then I showed him a sticker sleeve on Pinterest and he said he didn’t like it.

I immediately got “defensive” and upset. Spiralling into, he’s trying to change my appearance, he doesn’t like any of my tattoos that are already existing, etc.

WHY do I do this?!? I legit got upset, and we ended up getting into a fight and I felt a whole type of way that took a little bit for me to shake out of.

A few days ago I was doing my eyebrows and he also said “have you ever thought about doing thicker brows?”

He claims these are suggestions, it’s not deep, he loves me for me. If I like something to stand on it etc.

In my head I’m like I didn’t ask for a suggestion. Or his opinion but I know he is my partner so he can give it.

Am I wrong for being upset over things like this or do I need to get over myself. Stand on what I like and just take what he says for as simple as it is and move on with the moment. Genuinely, don’t know why my brain is like this. Is this something to do with being an avoidant woman??? Help lol. I am trying over here.

Was I wrong for being upset or was I being dramatic and making it too deep out of my own insecurity/ lack of self confidence etc.

Me and my bf sat down at a restaurant and he goes “so your getting your tattoo on your wrist? You should incorporate it within your other tattoos. “

I have somewhat of a sticker sleeve in the works. Dainty tattoos. A full filled in sleeve wasn’t my vibe. Anyway, then I showed him a sticker sleeve on Pinterest and he said he didn’t like it.

I immediately got “defensive” and upset. Spiralling into, he’s trying to change my appearance, he doesn’t like any of my tattoos that are already existing, etc.

WHY do I do this?!? I legit got upset, and we ended up getting into a fight and I felt a whole type of way that took a little bit for me to shake out of.

A few days ago I was doing my eyebrows and he also said “have you ever thought about doing thicker brows?”

He claims these are suggestions, it’s not deep, he loves me for me. If I like something to stand on it etc.

In my head I’m like I didn’t ask for a suggestion. Or his opinion but I know he is my partner so he can give it.

Am I wrong for being upset over things like this or do I need to get over myself. Stand on what I like and just take what he says for as simple as it is and move on with the moment. Genuinely, don’t know why my brain is like this. Is this something to do with being an avoidant woman??? Help lol. I am trying over here.