u/Kashiwashi

The ranking.

When asking all the WHATs and HOWs of my behavior, they easily assumed me to be IEI, but after facing the WHYs, they actually figured me out to be SEE.

And I swear, refering to the few public typings I witnessed on servers, as well as to many online content creators and even textual sources, which are the origin of the system, they usually only refer to the WHATs and HOWs, completely neglecting the influence of trauma on personality, in which you would still want the same as your type would, but could no longer act like the stereotype.

E.g.: I hate setting boundaries, as it would hurt me to get a rejection or restriction of any form, I would not give it to others, even if it makes others making use of oneself. Even such, that would have severe consequences on one's health state.

The fear of rejection makes me stay away from the spotlight, unable to talk to any stranger or even react to any sort of abuse. I would just freeze, saying nothing, paralysed by the grief, and partially in anger, which it would cause in me.

But what do I actually want? I want the spotlight, I want to have impact and I want to take over the entire room. I am longing to be seen, but not as dxmb, ridiculous or not worth dignity. I want to be enjoyed for what I am, I want to punish all of my abusers.

Being non-confrontational and avoiding interaction is also part of my protective Se, which knows the strenght of others, having the potential to rip me into pieces.

What helped me surviving, is the ability to fully take over roles I witnessed in someone else, such as a fictional character or an encounter from my past. As soon, as the role resolves, I turn back into the underdog, I was a live long, having low self esteem due to fear of being perceived as every adjective defining the lowest status possible.

And friendliness+politeness+submission, as I used to behave as a child, did only increase the abuse and humiliation, initiated by authorities towards me. Only when I mastered the role of a Kuudere a couple of months ago (still in practise), I noticed them behaving slightly more neutral towards me. But, that is not me.

So, always pay attention, when you are typing someone, whether they were not in survival mode and therefore acting out of character.

Having my own mortality always in the back of my mind, I wanted this year's birthday of mine to be special. I collected money for months, to rent a room for a night, where 20 people would easily fit in.

I wrote all invitations a month prior, so everyone would have bunch of time to decide.

As I don't have any friends, I invited every person, who once, almost a decade ago was nice to me, or defended me or greeted me, including exes, who did not leave in peace. I also asked a lot of people from dscrd personality servers.

Long story short, 90% of the invited rejected. Five people ignored, after having read the message.

Every birthday of mine, except one, only one or two people appeared. And, the needier I desparately rely on those peoples' attention, the less likely they would want to ever meet me again. It is a devil's circle.

I ended up inviting my mother and grandmother, who got some people of their friendship circles together.

I wanted an indecent circle of young adults in their mid 20s to play guessing games. Instead, I will be readen a novel about soviet nostalgia from people in their 50s, in front of which I would be holding back. And, to some extent, I am even grateful, those people will come. If I would have had an empty building for myself alone, I would have cried.

But the yearly realisation, that people don't want to bond with me, and would always value their comfort over my birthday is painful. The worst, are, who react, if you greet them, and ask about their wellbeing, and than ghost you forever after the invitation. They want it that little, that they don't even want to explain themselves.

How am I supposed to become that healthy stereotypical ESFP, if in my gacha game, called life, the chance of drawing a rejection is close to 100%? Same with career. I gave up on all my dreams. I am applying for educational programs to become a cashier at the supermarket. Every shop rejects, every train company rejects and those rejections collect over years. What did I write that difficult high school exam for?

All I want to become, is this valuable funny ESFP-entertainer of the group, who enhances the level of joy in others. But, all I feel is despair.

How do I win the loyalty of others? Do do you win the loyalty of others?

I wanted to share my ideal fanatsy senbatsu and B-sides with you. I would appreciate, if I would start, and then you post your drafts in the comments, so we could compare have a respectful argument, if necessary. Please, do not rate it as spam. It is supposed to mainly serve fun purposes.

AKB48 senbatsu (similar to MMB48's Ganbaranuwai): Arai Sae, Ito Momoka, Ota Yuki, Kawamura Yui, Kudo Kasumi, Kurosu Haruka, Sato Airi, Chiba Erii, Tokunaga Remi, Nagatomo Ayami, Narita Kohina, Hatakeyama Nozomi, Hirata Yuki, Fukuoka Seina, Morikawa Yu, Yamazaki Sora

AKB48 undergirls (similar to Tsubaki Factory's Garakuta DIAMOND): Oga Saki, Kubo Hinano, Kuranoo Narumi, Sakagawa Hiyuka, Shitao Miu, Takahashi Ayane, Takahashi Mao, Tanaka Sayuri, Hashimoto Haruna, Masai Mayu, Maruyama Hinata, Muto Orin, Yagi Azuki, Yamauchi Mizuki, Yamaguchi Yui, Yamane Suzuha

Guilty night (similar to KARA's Mamma Mia): Kudo Kasumi, Nagatomo Ayami, Hirata Yuki, Fukuoka Seina, Yamauchi Mizuki

Kimi no koto ga suki dakara 2026: Akiyama Yuna, Arai Sae, Oga Saki, Ota Yuki, Kubo Hinano, Kurosu Haruka, Kondo Saki, Sakagawa Hiyuka, Sato Airi, Chiba Erii, Nagatomo Ayami, Hashimoto Haruna, Hatakeyama Nozomi, Maruyama Hinata, Yagi Azuki, Yamazaki Sora

Dare no Koto wo Ichiban Aishiteru? 2026:

AKB48: Arai Sae, Narita Kohina

SKE48: Omura Anzu, Sato Kaho

HKT48: Yanase Reia

STU48: Nakamura Mai

Nogizaka46: Ikeda Teresa, Nakanishi Aruno, Hayashi Runa, Masuda Mirine

Sakurazaka46: Matono Mio, Morita Hikaru

Hinatazaka46: Konishi Nanami, Shogenji Yoko

Bokuao: Kanazawa Ami, Yagi Toa

SKE48 senbatsu (similar to ANGERME's Oyogenai Mermaid): Aoki Rika, Asai Yuka, Iida Yura, Inoue Ruka, Iriuchijima Sayaka, Ota Ayaka, Omura Anzu, Kawamura Yua, Kitagawa Yoshino, Kumazaki Haruka, Kurashima Ami, Sakurai Arisa, Sato Kaho, Suzuki Ena, Nakasaka Miyu, Nomura Miyo

SKE48 undergirls (similar to Happy♡7's Shiawase Beam! Suki Suki Beam!, but with a melody similar to Janai Romantic): Arano Himeka, Ishiguro Yuzuki, Ito Kokomi, Ito Miki, Ida Reona, Shinohara Kyoka, Sugimoto Riina, Suzuki Kokona, Tachibana Ayame, Tamura Mayu, Nakao Fuka, Hijiri Haruka, Matsukawa Miyu, Matsumoto Chikako, Morimoto Kurumi, Yamamura Sakura

SKE48 happy project (similar to HKT48's Hayaokuri Calendar): Asai Yuka, Ishiguro Yuzuki, Ito Kokomi, Ito Miki, Okuno Kokoha, Ota Manae, Omura Anzu, Kitagawa Yoshino, Suzuki Ena, Nomura Miyo, Hijiri Haruka, Matsukawa Miyu, Yamamura Sakura, Yokoi Shiho

NMB48 senbatsu (similar to ANGERME's Bibitaru Ichigeki): Ikeda Tenna, Izumi Ayano, Okagoshi Seira, Kuroshima Sakura, Sakata Misaki, Shiotsuki Keito, Shinzawa Nao, Tatsumoto Yayoi, Taniguchi Shino, Haga Rei, Hirayama Mai, Fukuno Ami, Matsuoka Sakura, Mikamo Kurumi, Murai Yuuri, Yamaguchi Mio

NMB48 undergirls (similar to AKB48's Shittakaburi no Sono Shita ni): Aobara Yuka, Akamatsu Sora, Ishiyama Chihiro, Kinugasa Ayami, Kine Iroha, Sakurai Himari, Zenke Yurika, Tanaka Misora, Tanaka Rei, Nakagawa Tomoka, Nishijima Rio, Nishida Honoka, Miyazaki Sae, Miyahara Konon, Miyamoto Ami, Yabuuchi Hinata

NMB48 unit (similar to Juice=Juice's Watashi ga Iu Mae ni Dakishimenakya ne): Izumi Ayano, Kuroshima Sakura, Haga Rei, Hirayama Mai, Fukuno Ami, Matsuoka Sakura

HKT48 senbatsu (similar to AKB48's Heart Ereki, but in bright red and bright green): Akiyoshi Yuka, Izawa Miyu, Ichimura Airi, Eura Yuka, Eguchi Kokoha, Oba Risaki, Kuriyama Rina, Shibui Mina, Takemoto Kurumi, Tachibana Kokoro, Tanaka Iori, Toyonaga Aki, Nakano Minami, Morisaki Saaya, Yanase Reia, Yamauchi Yuna

NGT48 senbatsu (similar to Aqours' Jingle Bells wa Tomaranai): Aiki Maaya, Isobe Rua, Inomata Sana, Otsuka Nanami, Omachi Yuka, Sato Kairi, Sato Hiroka, Shinzawa Aoi, Suizu Natsuki, Sugimoto Moe, Seiji Reina, Takashima Yua, Nakata Asami, Nishikawa Haruna, Nishigata Marina, Mimura Hino

STU48 senbatsu (similar to BIBI's Natsu, Owaranai de, blue swimsuit song): Ikeda Yura, Ishihara Yuuna, Utsumi Rine, Okada Azumi, Okamura Rio, Osaki Serika, Kai Kokoa, Kawamata Yuuna, Kitazawa Ichigo, Shinano Soraha, Takao Sayaka, Tanaka Nanako, Nakamura Mai, Hamada Hibiki, Fukuda Akari, Yoshida Sara

STU48 undergirls (regular school uniform under song): Ishimatsu Haruna, Inoue Kurea, Okuda Yuina, Kudo Riko, Kurushima Yuka, Komatsu Nayu, Sako Himeka, Sogabe Ako, Takamura Shiori, Taniguchi Mahina, Harada Sayaka, Hyodo Aoi, Mitsuki Noa, Muneyuki Rika, Morisue Himena, Watanabe Natsuki

What do you think?

While I am familiar with other typological systems, I am not familiar with socionics.

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As it seems equally well structured, but may be less flexible than CSJ's system, I imagine getting satisfaction from learning the system.

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But, anytime Se as a function is concerned in theory, my motivation to continue further dies and frustration appears, as not only the definition significantly differs from MBTI, OPS, EgoHacking, even CT, but it also always appears in the context of an accusation or an attempt to premurder/cut off all the image/status/authority a person, accused of using this function in their ego block, could potentially gain.

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It is described as physical to a violently primitively animalistic level, forcible, assertive and strong on willpower. The opposite of what is valued in first world countries. So, it's fair to say, in western civilization's eyes Se would be perceived as inherently evil and possibly low IQ for defamation purposes.

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Coming from CSJ's theory, Se always went along with a lack of willpower, due to Ni being defined as willpower, which made complete sense to me, as a clear future vision could only occur through willpower as the cause. Filtering and selecting options/perspectives/predictions is entirely a product of willpower, which accepts and rejects. Every agenda is rooted in personal will.*¹

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Before he started the HCT/UCT, "e" after a function meant, that it was entirely externalized. Meaning, Se became the entertainment function, trying to give constant sensory/entertainment to others. In Socionics this is perceived as Fe for some reason. Let me ask, why?

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Fe was always bound to selflessly caring for others, strengthening others' Fi (self worth) through kindness and compassion.

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Wanting to be admired or revered for some sort of performance/joke/entertainment is quite the opposite of empathy/selflessness and not really ethical or ethically aware as well, isn't it?

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*¹isn't wrath/anger/aggression rooted in emotion? How does it come, it is a perceiving function then? And why is perceiving a synonym to irrational? Try using it on the example of Nx, rather than Se.

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What about the aspects of nurture? Couldn't you break any Sociotype to be dragged out of their ego into naturally less preferred blocks, which would take over their entire attitude to life? That is the meaning "trauma" by textbook definition. And everyone deals with lots of trauma during their lifetime. Does Socionics claim (selective) trauma immunity? E.g. Se types were too strong to be traumatised, which is confusing again, as strenght mostly refers to Si in where I am coming from.

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So, would you like to help me understanding the background to why Socionics makes certain conclusion, so I could sympathize with the system better?

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Please, be respectful and don't devalue me. I already got light experience with people becoming furious because I dared questioning their beloved system.

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On all the various MBTI-related subs, "growth" is romanticised, while not being defined further.

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To me, it appears like a propaganda term, defining sth. subjective, which is perceived as an expectation from the outside to develope in a very certain direction, mostly within the idealism of an Ni-lead user, who believes to know, what was best for self and others. So, growth becomes authoritarian submission, and people are expected to assume for themselves, which "growth" exactly society expects.

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Couldn't it be self-deception as well, to help people cope with miserable changes?

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If nothing is meant to literally grow physically, why using "grow" then? It blurres the actual expectation behind it, which is adaptation or achievement.

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Is it adaptation or achievement?

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How do you think about "growth"?

This subreddit is my 3rd most important source of entertainment after discrd-phoning & mentally withdrawing into believing, one's will was fulfilled.

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Therefore, it's sad to see no action going on here. I would be fine with any input, absolutely anything to work with, joke about, argue about,...

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Unlike other MBTI-related subs, the content here always feels relevant and appealing. And the discussions really do have infinite potential, which for most of the cases stays unused, as people are satisfied after a two-comments-for-each-individual-discussion, what wouldn't satisfy me.

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Bring topics up. There are so many subjects to explore in this world.

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This subreddit could be your new home, why would you neglect it?

Neither I know, what the song is about, nor do I understand the story told by the MV (I would appreciate any help, though), but I love that song, I love the outfits, this unique aesthetics provided by the blurred vintage filter. At first, I thought, it would be sth. similar to Momusu's Utakata Saturday Night, but the actual song underlines the aesthetics even better.

The biggest surprises were, Okagoshi Seira. At first, I did not like her visually and asked myself why she was picked instead of this 25-year old clone of Tsugunaga Momoko, but the longer I look at her, the more potential I am seeing. She embodied her role in the MV pretty well, and has strong unique visuals, not that repetitive cute Yuka-Rei look.

Then, I like the role of the bartender, Kurumi good. Despite her being placed at the last corner in the back, she got enough screentime for her to shine. She is on the level of Matsui Jurina and even looks like her, why won't they risk her centering a single? This member deserves her subscribers to multiply with ×100.

Last one, Keito. OMG, ofc I enjoyed her since Hatsukoi Shijou Shugi and prior, but she was this naive little girl, of which noone knew, if she was going to rise or end in under. But, since her new haircut, she is a bomb, a real star, it suits her so well. It doesn't look as wild on her as on Furuhata Nao, but it looks extremely fresh instead. Such an improvement in likeability. She could be a solo artist. I'm wondering, what her role in the MV was.

https://youtu.be/U8I3\_t0DD2A?is=eB4VOHe1QYD0DHNd

I hope, this does not violate rule 4. If it does, I am officially angry at this rule, because it is supposed to not exist.

https://preview.redd.it/j45r19kkwwxg1.jpg?width=545&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a595e52bc5ef70c90e74e7cbb2acbd87727112b8

Those are the members, earning relatively high/special positions in under songs.

Who of them would you guess to be attending senbatsu next?