u/Kind-Put-1290

For context, i 21(f) have a sibling. let's call her Lily 18(f). The best way i can describe our personalities is as polar opposites in our virtues and fundamental beliefs. Ifyk mbti, i get inXj, and she has only ever gotten esfp. We are very stereotypically our types: i am very direct, detail/goal oriented, and love making progress while Lily is very indirect (in speaking, but YOU have to talk to her directly for her to understand), cares more about the immediate experiences within a process, and doesn't have much care for the outcome.

She has this incessant, insatiable stubborness to living life her way only. This would be fine, if she wasnt asking for things that require work and discomfort to have (money for her hobbies, a place to love, getting a job, living healthily, etccccc.) She genuinley hasnt made progress without the coddling of a family member to tell her what to do, when + how to do it. All our lives (since kindergarten) we have, bc we love her and dont want her to fall behind her peers, and most importantly, believe she can change.

every talk becomes this emptional dogpile of overwhelm for her no matter what i say. She says "im trying" but is practically in the same place she was since middle school, and now shes going to her 2nd yr college (she lived at home for her 1st). When i highlight these things, she cries instantly and tells me that im not considering how hard it is. When i ask her to explain, she huffs and says she doesnt have the words to explain it. So then i think, well yeah even if you have a disability (adhd audhd etc.) Life is simply gonna be harder for you than others, but thats how it is for you. Then she cries, says "i know" while flailing her arms and doesnt focus on making prorgress but instead how diffocult it is to hear this.

Shes mentally getting stuck/ paralyzed in this intermediate stage between wanting something and actuallytaking the actions to get there.

the problem: i recently told her, " i think we should end this dynamic between us. You dont get any better, our talks consist of you berating me on how little i understand your struggle, i spend copious amounts of time + energy talking to you/ trying to understand you but you have never done the same for me, and you never actually critically evaluate yourself you just feel sorry all the time." She cried and said she doesnt want me to stop bc im "the only one who talks to her like this". So i continued.

But a few days ago i had a realization due to another fight caused by her "brain" which reulted in me losing 15$ (yes it matters to me) bc of an accident SHE DID. she said accidents dont deserve punishments bc its abt intention, but when i disagreed using genuine+ reasonable arguments against her point, she started the whole brain is idfferent thing like, "well i define that diferently..." "the dictionary def doesnt matter bc i didnt mean to do it"

TLDR: my sister acts as if her ND absolves her from critically evaluating herself + punishment, she expects others to 'make the cake so she can eat it too', and has unrealistic expectations of how society will treat her. If i stop helpong her, im afraid she will see this as a genuine abandonment and end up with unhealthy sources of security (narcissists, abusers, etc.), but i cant tell if she is just being selfish or if ND can actually absolve/ explain this.

For context, i f 20/21 get inXj, though prefer to identify with infj. I am interested in a very stereotypical, shy intp m 24/25 who doubts himself from overanalyzing.

Ill save you the long ass story of why i believe he is interested, but just know he has made it quite obvious through actions + body language.

I've heard that shy people (also intps) tend to look for opportunities to act while i would prefer to create the opportunity and just do that. I just wonder if the fact that he isnt 'creating' a situation is a signal that he would only act when 'convenient' (hesitant abt that word).

Problem: i want to approach but my family says im too direct and will scare him off. Is there a particular way to communicate with him as intp to get him more comfortable or to convey interest so that i can have a relationship with this guy 😭 im getting impatient

For context, i am a university student (f) in my third year, physics major, and wanting to do research for a career (most likely). I am intentionally reserved, but quite direct, blunt, and confident in myself. I have no problem with the idea of approaching first, genuinley. I have done it once before, and the guy was very flattered.

If you know mbti, I often get inf or intj. I believe he is intp or intj. He is 100% XntX.

I ended up working elsewhere, but during the search for working in a research lab, i met this graduate student. He was the most beautiful man i have ever seen, and talking to him made me feel like the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

His personality is also reserved (but more easygoing when talking to others, unlike me), but he lacks confidence and is quite shy, especially around me. (Seriously, he had done some things i genuinely mever thought a human would bc it is simply too... unbelievable(?) But i liked it nonetheless)

To me, i dont have an issue approaching, i like the idea of it despite people saying the man, especially being older than me, should confess first. But here's the problem: even though i wanna ask first, im wondering if i am being too naive, and the fact that he won't approach first is a definitive sign of disinterest for a man.

I know nerves exist, but wouldn't someone be willing to overcome those nerves just for a moment for someone they like enough? Sorry of this comes off as apathetic, i dont really experience shyness so idk if its truly a problem or just a sign....

I started my channel a little over a month ago and have 9 videos out now. I want to focus on calm, aesthetic student life and also bring an authentic, cute, casual vibe. I still only get about 10-30 views per video and try to make my thumbnails look like Breanna Quan's.

I really wanna grow my channel to 1k subs by the end of the year, and am wondering for critiques. Please be harsh (but not mean)!

So, I'm currently a sophomore at my university and got into a research group. As i am a physics major and plan to do grad research for a phd, i know this is what i'm supposed to be doing. There's another person in my group. Let's call him Ted, who focuses on the computer science aspect of our group (i, naturally, focus more on the physics). He is a freshman.

My personality is more reserved, but im also quite direct and willing to speak up confidently when necessary. Ted is super laid back and kind of fidgety. Since we are close in age and our personalities compliment each other, we get along quite well and often conversate before and after our weekly research meetings.

The thing is, ted is so extremely active in these meetings, and i am so lost. He always speaks up and has loads to say about his research progress over the last week. It's super cool and i honestly think his dedication is admirable. When i tell him, he always humbles himself (which is even cooler) and it inspires me to work harder. So i do. I spend time studying physics concepts that show up in our group despite them being WAY above my student-level, but even still, it's so much information to take in that I can't keep up.

I know that Ted is computer science, which is much easier to grasp onto since he just memorizes code (his words), but i still feel so unhelpful. I want to be able to add useful ideas to this group instead of asking the older student "what is this" and "what does that mean" all the time, whereas Ted bascially started the year out moving uphill.

To be clear, i have no problem WITH Ted, hes super cool, i just feel inferior in so many ways. Any tips on how to get better at research as an undergrad/ get over this feeling?

So, I'm currently a sophomore at my university and got into a research group. As i am a physics major and plan to do grad research for a phd, i know this is what i'm supposed to be doing. There's another person in my group. Let's call him Ted, who focuses on the computer science aspect of our group (i, naturally, focus more on the physics). He is a freshman.

My personality is more reserved, but im also quite direct and willing to speak up confidently when necessary. Ted is super laid back and kind of fidgety. Since we are close in age and our personalities compliment each other, we get along quite well and often conversate before and after our weekly research meetings.

The thing is, ted is so extremely active in these meetings, and i am so lost. He always speaks up and has loads to say about his research progress over the last week. It's super cool and i honestly think his dedication is admirable. When i tell him, he always humbles himself (which is even cooler) and it inspires me to work harder. So i do. I spend time studying physics concepts that show up in our group despite them being WAY above my student-level, but even still, it's so much information to take in that I can't keep up.

I know that Ted is computer science, which is much easier to grasp onto since he just memorizes code (his words), but i still feel so unhelpful. I want to be able to add useful ideas to this group instead of asking the older student "what is this" and "what does that mean" all the time, whereas Ted bascially started the year out moving uphill.

To be clear, i have no problem WITH Ted, hes super cool, i just feel inferior in so many ways. Any tips on how to get better at research as an undergrad/ get over this feeling?