u/KingPowa

Hi! I need some guidance on this one since I really want to help my gf out but I don't know how to deal with this properly.

My gf has struggled in the past with depression. She lives with her mother and brother, but tldr they are a very bad family: brother doesn't care about anything and doesn't help in the house, mother is basically neglecting her child and doesn't understand she is suffering because of her. Moreover, mother is hyper fixated on her: she needs to know what she does, if she is "alive" and doesn't allow her to do things like trips alone. Finally, she does everything in the house, earns very little, and has very little time for herself.

She has been having bad thoughts lately, or at least I believe so since that's how I perceive it. When she has bad thoughts, I successfully intercept them and always try to talk through them.

I, as a rational person, have always tried to suggest she ignores her mother, does what she truly wants like trips and such (I can only do them in a specific period of the year, while she has nearly zero weekends completely for herself since she does a job that requires at least one of the two weekend days to work, so when she has a holiday she wants to enjoy it with nice trips) and triew to ignore her family while she is obliged to live with them. In the near future we can then think about moving out, but I need a bit more time.

She refuses to comply, as of course it's not easy to ignore one's family completely, especially when the consequence is a mother that shouts in her face and makes her feel shit. Thus, I strongly suggested referring to a therapist and talking about the stuff she is experiencing, but she seems not ready to face it. Finally, I suggested she take her savings and find a home close to her workplace, and just quit her actual home. She is scared of the consequences of this action in terms of responsibilities and payments she would need.

I have no clue how to support her more than being close, trying to be present, trying to make her reason about how to solve and deal with the problem (also emotionally). Today she seemed more exhausted than usual about talking rationally about solving the problem, so I just tried being funny and distracting her, but this can't continue like this as I feel she is very sad. I feel very worried and would like to help her.

What should I do in this case?

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I got this:

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